I haven't posted about this, since I almost felt I'd jinx myself if I mentioned it.
For the past two weeks or so, I've had the sword of Damocles dangling above my head, ready to slice and dice at any time without warning. There had been (confirmed) rumors going around about layoffs, company-wide. As the therapist with the least seniority, I thought I'd better get my resume ready, I was going to be out of a job. Anytime my boss called me into the office, I braced myself, ready to hear the unwelcome news, telling myself to get through it with dignity, and without tears.
Yesterday the layoffs happened, but I dodged the bullet. Apparently HR went by performance reports, evaluations, and disciplinary actions (or rather, the lack thereof), instead of relying merely on seniority. As a result, J.A., the therapist who'd been there the longest (13 years!), and my friend K. were let go.
I was very upset on K.'s behalf, but on the other hand, I'm human. I definitely am not getting any enjoyment from her pain, as a matter of fact, the only time I've ever felt Schadenfreude that in any way was appropriate was when I found out my ex-husband's new wife had gone from a size 2 to a size 12 since they married...but I digress.
Of COURSE I am relieved that I didn't get the axe. I'm the sole provider for my little family, and I struggle enough on what I make to get by. Even though I didn't know for sure it was going to be me who got tossed out, I've still been obsessing about it constantly, worrying and fretting non-stop.
Thankfully, that's over with now. However, my schedule at work has changed and I'm working Thursdays-Mondays now, so Silver will have to get used to not seeing me on the weekends very much. I'm just happy to still have a job to go to, so I'm certainly not complaining about my new hours!
I'm so glad I have this blog, it forces me to clarify my thoughts and emotions; any readers out there...I'm very thankful for you, too.