Sunday, May 31, 2009

Down but not out.

Yesterday I headed over to the Rio again, to pit myself against all the other therapists vying for massage clients. After over two hours of circling, circling, like a vulture over the dying body of a wildebeest, I gave up and went home. Sheesh, do I smell? Not that anyone could distinguish my B.O. (had I any!) from the miasma already present. Am I that ugly? Too old? Boobs too small?

I know that that really has nothing to do with it. But it's hard not to feel discouraged and rejected when you see other therapists massaging people at tables you recently approached. And it's even more difficult as time passes and you see the same therapists getting services, over and over again, when you can't even manage to get one stinkin' client. I know that many of these "popular" therapists are just that: popular. They've been working at WSOP for years, and the players know them and look specifically for them. Still, doesn't change how I feel.

Well, I'm changing my game plan. Instead of heading over to the Rio at 7PM (when the tournament players break for dinner, anyway!), I'll go there in the middle of the night, say 2 or 3 AM, and work until it's time for me to go to my "real" job. Most of the other therapists will have gone home by them, and the remaining players will be tired and sore and ready for massage! Hopefully I'll be able to do some massages and make some money.

Next week I start my fourth job, but it'll only be four hours a week. I'll be filling in for my chiropractor's massage therapist who's going to be on maternity leave. I'm really looking forward to this opportunity, since I've never done massage in the chiropractic setting before. It's very different from the spa, and it'll be nice to broaden my scope and get more experience.

Seeing as I'll be moving to Texas by the end of the year/beginning of 2010, it's good that I'll have more stuff to put on my resume...;)

Saturday, May 30, 2009

A Wash.

Well, I didn't go to WSOP last night. I was getting ready, which also included drinking copious amounts of (half-caff) coffee through a straw, and ended up getting sicker than a dog. I don't know if it was the coffee, the amount of coffee, the fact that I probably swallowed too much air because of the straw, or any and all combinations thereof, but it wasn't pretty. I'll leave it at that.

I'm off to my full-time job shortly, and will be going to WSOP (I keep wanting to say, "Whassuuuuuup?") after I leave there tonight. Hopefully I'll make so much money it'll make up for not going last night. Well, as my daughter told me while convincing me to stay home last night, the World Series lasts for six weeks, I'll be okay.

Friday, May 29, 2009

First Impressions of World Series of Poker...

The smell: A combination of body odor, Red Bull, and desperation.

The sounds: The constant clickety-clickety-clack of the poker chips. It's a seriously incessant background noise. The staff announcing open chairs over the microphone. The dealers shouting, "Winner at table xyz!" The spectators talking and commenting on the games (why watch? I find it as exciting as watching paint dry. Maybe because I don't understand the games...)

The sights: Players wearing hats and/or hoods...and sunglasses indoors! Apparently famous players plastered with advertisements all over their clothing and hats. Lots of fake boobs and ankle-breaking high heels. Media all over the place (though I've never heard of the magazines/websites.) The flashes of cameras going off in my face as my client is being photographed (he was famous, or semi-famous...who knew?) Almost everyone with an MP3 player of some sort, and either earbuds or HUGE headphones.

Altogether a fascinating experience, even if I didn't make very much money. I felt like I was doing research, maybe for sociology or something! Anyway, I was told that it's always slow the first few days, and that tomorrow and Saturday will be better. I sure hope so. But I'll always be able to say that I worked at the World Series of Poker!

Thursday, May 28, 2009


in a few hours I'll be leaving for my first shift at the World Series of Poker at the Rio.

I'm a little nervous, to be honest, but I'm sure I'll be fine.

Wish me luck!

Updates sure to follow...

Seen in the casino...

A Las Vegas T-shirt with the following slogan:

One Casino
Two Casino
Three Casino


Glad to see that some tourists have a bit of sense, AND a sense of humor!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Seriously, I'm NOT a prostitute, I'm just a working girl!

I had my orientation for the World Series of Poker last night (Oh, and THANKS, President Obama, for making me LATE!).

Naturally the orientation was at the Rio, because that's where the tournament is being held. Afterwards, I was headed back to my car to drive over to the New York-New York (part-time job, remember?), and I was talking to Silver on my cell, giving her a rundown of events. I hopped on the elevator to the parking garage as a gentleman joined me.

I mentioned to Silver that I'd probably have to leave the house at six every evening I'm working there, because it takes almost half an hour just to get from the parking garage to the venue for the tournament, then I added the apparently suggestive phrase: "This should be quite lucrative!"

My fellow elevator rider held up his palm to me and said, quite loudly, "I don't want to know!"

I was shocked, and started blurting, "But, I'm a MASSAGE TH..." He interrupted with, "I REALLY don't want to know!"

As he exited the elevator, a floor before I needed to get off, I shouted after him, "NO, NO, I'm a MASSAGE THERAPIST for the World Series of Poker!" and shook my uniform shirt, which I'd had slung over my shoulder, at him. He turned around, and as the elevator doors were closing, asked, "Oh, do you have a business card?"

*blink blink*


I must apologize to the lady with the "cat" tattoo. She has been toppled from the dubious throne of "worst tattoo ever" by a gentleman with his WIFE'S FACE tattooed on his calf. Not only that, but it was a horrible, horrible tattoo. I mean, I met his wife, because we were doing a side-by-side massage, and I collected her from the women's spa for my male colleague, Jarvis. So obviously I got a good look at her face.

Worst. Likeness. EVAR.

Plus, the tattoo was just of her head, floating like a pumpkin in space, with her name in a ribbon above. No neck, nothing. Awful. I still shudder to think about it.

And, as I believe I've mentioned before, putting your spouse's, lover's, partner's, significant other's name, initials, face, etc. anywhere on your body, permanently, is the kiss of death to the relationship.

Then you're stuck with a painful reminder of something best forgotten.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial Day

Because they have said it much, much better than I ever could.

Go. Read. Take a moment to reflect.

Worst tattoo ever...

a "cat" in the small of a lady's back. But it wasn't a whole cat, just the cat's face. With no outline, even. Or ears. So basically just the eyes, nose, mouth and whiskers.
And if that weren't bad enough, the "feline" eyes had ROUND pupils. Ugh.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

In other news...

of not exactly Earth-shattering importance, my hair has stopped falling out so I think I'll try to grow it long again. Carry on, Peeps.

In other, other news, I think I might have changed my mind about going to school in the Caribbean. Yes, it's sexy and all, but it's also ridiculously expensive and complicated, not to mention I'd be leaving Silver in the U.S. without a parent on the same continent. I dunno, Texas is looking more and more attractive.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Freaked my dogs out!

I have quite the eclectic (read: WEIRD) collection of music on my iPod. What I didn't realize is that I had Rutter's Magnificat on there. I used to be a member of the Las Vegas Master Singers, and we performed this work with the Las Vegas Philharmonic in December of...crap, was it '03? Time flies and all that.


I haven't performed or really even sung much since then, and certainly my dogs have never heard me sing much out loud. Maybe a bit of singing along to a song here or there while doing housework.

So as I was coming home from the gym today, the first movement from Rutter's Magnificat was playing, and I started singing along, full bore. Of course, in the car I only have one earbud in, but as I was walking to my apartment, I had both in and was singing all-out, not caring that I was scaring pigeons and the occasional landscaper. I sing first soprano, I might add.

As I entered the apartment, I was belting out "beatam" from around 4:05...

My dogs initially commenced their customary psycho happy dance, jumping all around and mobbing me, but as I continued singing until the end of the piece, at full volume, they stopped and sat in the middle of the living room floor, watching me attentively, and slightly apprehensively, probably wondering what the fuck I was going to do next: Will she explode? Who will give us treats then? NO MORE BACON?!? WE OBJECT!!!

I finished singing and had to laugh at their expressions. Wish I'd had my camera handy! Hey, at least they didn't start whining, like they do when Silver practices her clarinet!

It felt good to sing, really sing, again. I wish I had more time to join a group, but that kind of commitment is a lot like taking on another job, and I just can't right now. In any case, I know I have "Magnificat" on my iPod, and my dogs will just have to deal with my singing along while I fold laundry later, and my bathroom really needs cleaning, and the floors, too, for that matter...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

TSA = Those Self-important Assholes

I'm sure you've all read Breda's account of her not-so-gentle treatment at the hands of the TSA wonks on her trip to Phoenix. Well a few days ago I discovered that one doesn't even have to be at the airport to experience the idiocy of the TSA!

I've been assisting a friend by getting some info on local airplane charter companies, and I searched the Yahoo! local yellow pages to get a list of companies and their contact info. One of the last companies I called was TWC Aviation Inc.

I got a voicemail, so I left a message and went about my business.

About an hour later my phone rang, I answered, and the following exchange occurred:

Me: Hello, this is Christina!

Unidentified Dude: Yes, I received a call from this number, asking that I call back?

Me: Yes, I'm calling all airplane charter companies in town, and wanted to...

UD (interrupting me): How did you get this number?!

Me: Ummm, Yahoo?

UD: Well this is a secure line, you have no business calling here.

Me: You're listed on the Yahoo yellow pages!

UD: This is a government phone! It's the TSA!

Me: You might want to check into why you're listed on the Yahoo yellow pages under "TWC Aviation, Inc."!

UD: Not even close, this is a government phone, the TSA! Please remove this number from your list and don't call again.

Me: I don't HAVE a list, I searched all airplane charter companies in Las Vegas, and this phone number was in the yellow pages. That's not MY problem!

UD: It's a secure line!

Me: Apparently NOT. Thank you for your time. (I hang up)

There you have it, Folks!

Remember, if you're looking for a charter plane in Vegas, whatever you do, under no circumstances should you call TWC Aviation, Inc. at 702-262-9700...

Because it's a secure line! It's a government phone!

It's the fucking TSA, Bitches!

And don't you forget it.

Work in Progress...

Here I am in my "Massage Girls 'R' Us" uniform:


Looking rather psycho, as I always seem to do when Silver takes my picture...

And here's a picture of me from the luau a year ago (hint: I'm the gal on the right):


It's useful to me to occasionally see the progress I've made, because it's easy to lose sight of how far I've come while I focus on what I still have to do.

Like I said, I'm a work in progress. And not only where weight loss is concerned!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

It's been my experience...

that the size of the tip I receive is in inverse proportion to the amount of bling my client is wearing.

And that's just sad.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Seen on a bumper sticker on my way to work...


It made me cringe and laugh, all at the same time.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Just got an email...

from my COM101 Prof:

I got 196/200 on my final (squeeee), and I got 870/900 altogether for the entire class, so that's an A!

So happy. :)

I'll have to check tomorrow and see if my grades for the two online classes are posted.

Saturday, May 16, 2009


I have no wish to offend, but here's a tip. Either leave your back-hair alone, or, if you must depilate, please maintain! Stubble is VERY unpleasant to massage.

Thank you.

Friday, May 15, 2009


My last final: DONE!

I'm free, *squeeeeeeeeeeeee*!!

Now what on Earth will I do will all of my now-copious amounts of free time (*snerk*)?

I know! I'll get another job. The World Series of Poker starts on May 27th...I'll be there.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


As I was passing a blackjack table in Pit 7, while repeating "Massage? Would anyone care for a massage?", I noticed a gentleman wearing a white T-shirt with the phrase on the back, in bold, black letters:


Well, fuck you, too, Sunshine! Pardon me for doing my job, Asshole. I hope you never, ever win at any game in the future, and that your teeny-tiny little dick falls off from lack of use. I hope that you develop a horrid body odor that causes little old ladies to faint in your presence. I hope any friends you might have (which I doubt!) desert you in droves because of your putrescence, and that any woman you hit on laughs loudly in your face, incredulously. May you break out in nasty, oozing boils. And, for good measure, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

Oh, and I didn't want to massage you anyway. After all, I do have standards to maintain. Which you obviously do not meet.


On our way back from getting Silver's weekly allergy shots, I suddenly heard a "whoop-whoop" and with a sinking heart saw the flashing lights in my rear-view mirror.

I had been talking with a friend on my cell, and though it's not illegal (yet) in Nevada to have a phone conversation while driving, I still abruptly ended the call and literally threw my cell at Silver while barking, "Here, hold this," as I pulled over to the side of the road.

I'd also been driving through a school zone, but knew I hadn't been speeding. (Anyone who speeds through a school zone should be drawn and quartered, at the very least.)

I rolled my window down as I turned to face the officer, who btw. looked like he didn't even need to shave yet. Officer Howser, I presume?

Then I heard the dreaded question..."Do you know why I pulled you over?"


"No, Sir."

"You have a brake light that's out."


Luckily, after checking my license and insurance info, the kindly officer let us go on our way with a warning.

My customary auto place was on our way home, and $11.80 and 15 minutes later, the threat of a ticket was once again a distant, looming thing, as opposed to a sharp, immediate one!

I always DID like Doogie Howser...;)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


It was extremely slow at work today, so slow in fact that I only had one massage all day. I threw in the towel after lunch and headed home. I've been shamefully neglecting my puppehs all this past week, mostly because of school, so this was the perfect opportunity to take them to the ginormous dog park up North, which is several acres in size. It was pretty darn hot already, upper nineties for sure, so we only managed two laps around the inside of the fence before we'd had enough. (The puppehs were panting, which is something they almost never do.)

I headed for the nearest decent-sized tree and threw myself down in the shade. The park was deserted, my two dogs (relatively) quiet, so I just relaxed with my eyes closed and allowed my thoughts to wander where they pleased.

It was simply lovely. So very peaceful and calming. I actually managed to doze off in the grass. Until, of course, Harley pounced on me and demanded attention! That was okay, too. We were there for THEM, after all. After some pats and scritches, he wandered off to explore the enticing scents all around him, and I dozed off again.

Bliss. Which I'll try to repeat as often as I can.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Christina's One Word Movie Reviews

Star Trek = EPIC

Overheard inside the theater:

"Buying food at the concession is wallet-rape."

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Things they don't teach you in massage school...

"Beware of Falling Rocks."

My last massage of the day was a hot stone massage. I was almost finished, working on the right arm and about to do the head and neck massage, when my client shifted, causing the two stones resting on her thigh to slide off and plummet onto the top of my right foot.


Of course I couldn't say anything (or curse loudly, for that matter, which is what I was really inclined to do...). I just finished the massage and wondered why nobody ever warned me of falling rocks...

For all you Mothers out there...

Happy Mother's Day!

Hope you had a fabulous one. I had work, of course, but Silver and I are headed to the theater to see "Star Trek"...I can't WAIT! :)

(Flying my Geek Flag proudly...)


Last night was Silver's senior prom. She's been reluctant to go, and as a matter of fact, up until a few months ago she was adamantly opposed to going. I wore her down...;)
Her friends made the difference, I believe. Once she heard that all her friends from school were going, she changed her mind and bought a ticket.
I mentioned before how we found an inexpensive yet fetching dress, but of course, that's only the beginning...
Which leads me to the "barter" part of the post!

I took Silver to work with me yesterday, because I have an awesome job and an awesome boss who let me do stuff like that! I wasn't very busy, which in this case was a good thing, because we needed time to get stuff done...stuff like getting Silver's eyebrows waxed, getting her a manicure and pedicure, getting her make-up done professionally, having her hair styled...all of which didn't cost me a stinkin' DIME, due to the kick-assedness of the barter system!

Gayla, our lead esthetician, waxed Silver's eyebrows, for which I in turn gave her a half-hour massage.

Tracy, one of our salon's finest, did Silver's mani/pedi, and accepted an IOU for an hour-long massage on Tuesday (she was very busy yesterday and didn't have time to get a massage...)

Then we broke for lunch...mmmmmm, Chipotle, how I adore thee!

Silver indulged herself in the Jacuzzi after this, just relaxing a bit. I did have a few services, after all!

Then Holly, our make-up expert, took Silver in hand and worked her magic. Also accepting an IOU in lieu of payment (she was completely booked, but worked Silver in during a brief lull while a client's color was setting...Holly ROCKS!)
Holly is also going to get a longer massage, since Silver has never really worn make-up and was rather reluctant to sit still for the process. Just call the extended massage "hazardous duty pay"...Holly earned it!

Finally, and this is the most amazing part of my little tale, Maura, my friend and the spa attendant at our spa, sat Silver down while I was doing a massage and styled her hair adorably, which I would never have been able to do (I have no skillz in that direction, you see...)
Maura did this out of the goodness of her heart, not expecting anything in return, and in addition gifted Silver with a beautiful necklace, to boot!
Maura doesn't know this, but she's getting a massage today, even if I have to tie her down!

So you see, the barter system is alive and well in Las Vegas, we call it doing "trades", actually. That's how I get MY hair and nails done, too.

Oh, you want to see the results? Sure:

(Pardon my crappy photography skills...)



Outside the prom venue, a local Greek Orthodox Church (the theme for prom, naturally: "Greek Gods and Goddesses")



And just inside the door, after having been gifted with a long-stemmed red rose (hey, the prom organizers did themselves proud). This was the last shot before I headed home, with a little tear in my eye, I admit...


What a fantastic ending to a wonderful day.

My friends and the barter system ROCK. And Silver is beautiful and had a wonderful time. :)

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Speech Epic WIN!

I had to give my final speech today in my Communications 101 Class. It was to be a persuasive speech on a controversial topic, 7-9 minutes in length. Naturally, I chose the topic: Why everyone should own a gun...

It. Was. Awesome.

I basically kicked total ass. I got 148 out of 150; my prof took off two points because she said it sounded "too rehearsed"...I guess I practiced a little too much! *g*
No worries. With the 50 points I got for my speech outline, that brings my grade for the speech up to 198 out of 200. I'll take it!

It was amazing and wonderful to look out into the classroom and see people nodding, agreeing with me. I got such a rush!

I never would have been able to do such a good job without a LOT of help, though.

I'd like to thank everyone over at the Gunblogger Conspiracy IRC for their advice and tips on where to find good information. Holly took time away from her own busy writing schedule to email me a bunch of links to more valuable info, and Jay G. gave me excellent tips on firearms. Oleg Volk was incredibly gracious enough to give me permission to use some of his fantastic, pro Second Amendment photographs as visual aids to my speech. Thank you all, you wonderful, wonderful people!

The sense of community I have found in the blogosphere, both those gun-crazy folks and those who couldn't care less about guns, truly humbles me.

Thank you all for enriching my life.

Thursday, May 07, 2009




No more braces

I feel weird without my braces...but I suspect I'll get used to it, fast!

Monday, May 04, 2009


That's what size pants I'm wearing right now. It's almost inconceivable to me, as is the fact that I've lost 77 pounds in the past year (with more to go!).

I don't think I'm particularly vain, nor do I have reason to be, but I have to admit to checking myself out quite a lot lately. It often catches me by surprise to see my reflection..."Oh, hey! That's ME!" I guess it just takes time for the mental body image to change. Same goes for trying on clothes. I get the proper size, but when I take the clothing item off the rack, I think, "There's no way that's gonna fit me!"
Then I'm surprised and pleased when it actually does.

I'm not really going anywhere with this post (no surprise there!), just wanted to ramble on a bit about what goes on in a formerly fat person's head. In case you wanted to know...;)

In other news: more (frequent) blogging once school is out.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Two more weeks...

until the end of the semester. I can't WAIT. I'm going to stop drinking coffee and start sleeping more. I'm going to read novels until my brain explodes. I'm going to watch movies and tv shows on my computer until I'm a mindless zombie. I'll take my dogs to the park every single day (except Tuesdays, when I'm gone from 6:30 AM until 12:30 AM the next day). I'll start every day with a song in my heart and end it with a smile on my face. Two. More. Weeks.