Friday, December 27, 2013


only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

I ALMOST got straight A's this semester. I "only" got an A- in Mental Health Nursing, but whatever, I'll take it.

This was the semester from hell and I'm glad it's over.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas!

To all my readers out there (all eleventy-seven of you):

May you have a very merry Christmas and a happy, healthy, successful New Year!

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Semester's Done!

Now I just have to wait for grades...I know I got an A in my Ethics class (by biting my tongue a LOT), but I'm not-so-patiently waiting for my Maternity, Mental Health, and International Epidemics grades. I know I got at least an A- in each class, but straight A's would be sweet. Yes, I'm THAT person.

You'd think now would be the time for me to relax, but au contraire, mon frere! I'm gearing up for the holidays, plus preparing for my epic trip to South Africa, plus I really, really need to do my continuing education units for my massage recertification, plus, plus, PLUS.

Sometimes it sucks being a grown-up.

The most awesome thing right now is that all three of my babies are here for Christmas, w00t! I've got to get a good group picture of them while they're all together...

Oh, and before I forget, this time next year I'll be  


Two more semesters of nursing school to go.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Overheard in the Car

After having to listen to screaming babies (yes, PLURAL) during our evening viewing of "Frozen" last night, we're having a discussion on baby/movie etiquette, and I mention that Silver was EASY in movies as a baby: whenever she started crying, I'd give her the boob! Chimes Silver (now 22.5) from the backseat...

"Hey, what can I say? I like my dinner WITH my movie!"


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Save me!

I'm studying for my Nursing Ethics final, which is online and available in two hours (I'll be taking it tomorrow morning after a good night's sleep), and I came across this gem in my textbook:

Earth health and human health are intricately interconnected, and nurses need to include ethical considerations of our relationship with Earth into nursing practice. Twenty-first century health care needs and issues require global consciousness.

I guess I need to go sky-clad and and consult with Gaia before I give someone some Tylenol or insulin.
(Oh, SHIT...that was culturally insensitive!)

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Quote of the Day

"THAT'S what this game needs...this game needs BACON!"

Monday, December 09, 2013

My babies.

Twenty years ago today, I waddled into Tripler Army Medical Center's Twin Clinic for my regular check. I was 36 weeks pregnant, looked like a toothpick that had inexplicably swallowed a jumbo watermelon, was unable to wear any shoes besides men's size 12 flip-flops, and was unable to drive because I couldn't fit behind the steering wheel and reach the pedals with my foot at the same time.

I was utterly miserable, and nothing made me happier than the doc saying I would be staying at the hospital that day, because my babies had decided to make their appearance early (very common with twins). They weren't due until January 7th.

Untold agonizing hours later (I dunno, fourteen? -ish?), TalliahAngel made her appearance. The nurses immediately exhorted me to "push! push!"...uh, I just pushed one baby out...don't I get even a little break?! Apparently not. It wasn't until they started prepping me for a c-section that I decided maybe I could push a little more. Plus, I had my eye on the clock and realized if I didn't hurry up, my twins would have different birthdays, and that was just UNACCEPTABLE. A little assistance from the vacuum extractor and voila! Chaos (as she is known online) was born!

Tally was 6lbs, 1.8oz. Chaos 5lbs, 13.1oz. BIG for twins! Imagine if I had gone full term...

From all the parents of twins I've spoken with since, the 21-minute gap between my girls is the longest I've encountered! (And btw, I ALWAYS say it thusly: "21 EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL minutes later..." Gotta keep it at the forefront of my children's minds!)

My life would never be the same. I'm so grateful that they are in this world! They are the most precious, intelligent, annoying, wonderful, aggravating, delightful, yet horrible young women: I know they'll conquer every obstacle, taking no prisoners (prisoners are deadweight, after all), and achieving anything they set their minds to.

Happy Birthday, my Babies! I love you!

Saturday, December 07, 2013

Public Service Announcement

Dear Oblivious Slow Drivers in the Fast Lane:

Get. The. FUCK. Out. Of. My. Way. 

Or I'm gonna shank a bitch.

Oh, hell. Why limit it to the fast lane? ALL of you oblivious slow drivers, GET OUTTA MY WAY.

Sunday, December 01, 2013

Channelling Inigo Montoya

Written on a tip envelope

  "Thanks for a mollifying morning!! :)"

Somehow I don't think he really knows what that word means.