Monday, August 31, 2009


Okay. Moaning while I'm massaging you is fine. Groaning, even. Mutters of appreciation are also dandy.

But don't say anything that could be applied to another activity I could be performing, instead.

In other words, I don't want to hear "FUCK, YEAH!" come out of your mouth while I'm massaging your neck. No matter HOW heartfelt the sentiment.

Thank you.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Made it!

The move was successful, I'm almost done with everything at the old place, and I'm totally exhausted and getting ready to go to sleep.

I have a few interesting spa stories to share with you. But they'll have to wait until I'm not about to faceplant onto my keyboard!

Hope you're all having a great weekend. :)

Thursday, August 27, 2009


Procrastination, thy name is Christina!

I'm officially moving tomorrow morning at 7:00 AM, and I'm not done packing. As a matter of fact, I don't even have enough boxes!


Wish me luck, I don't think I'm going to get much sleep tonight...

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Las Vegas' Motto

No, I'm not talking about "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." That's the official motto.

I'm talking about the unofficial motto for Vegas.


I think about that every time I drive in this benighted town.


is what I've got.

No interesting clients (because we've been so slow), no funny bumper stickers or anyone who annoyed me so much I wanted to blog about it.


The only news I've got is the fact that I'm moving into my friend Keith's house on Friday. And that I've been procrastinating packing, which is really, really bad.

I'd better get on that!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Seen on my drive home...

a bumper sticker reading:

The more people I meet the better I like my dog!

He has a point.

Friday, August 21, 2009


Apparently, the UND Marching Band is a very big deal in Grand Forks...they made the news!

If you look carefully, you will see Silver at 0:47, all the way on the right! The camera is right behind her! w00t!!

On September 5th, the band will be performing at the UND/Texas Tech football game in Lubbock...I wonder if it will be broadcast on TV, and I wonder if there's some way I can watch it.

Here's the link to the news snippet:



Thursday, August 20, 2009

I'm home


Grand Forks Wrapup

Tonight's my last night in Grand Forks, North Dakota. I'm leaving behind my wonderful daughter, Silver, to make her own way in the world.


It's hard to let go.

So, yesterday we moved her into her dorm room. She's in a marvelous Residence Hall with very few students staying there, which I think is a wonderful thing, but some students apparently don't. I was told by a fifth-year student, who's been living there since her Sophomore year, that usually everyone is in their own room by the end of the year due to girls moving out to a busier Hall (read: one with more "action"). Or they join sororities, or whatever. Anyway, she said that usually by the end of the year, there will only be about twenty women staying there.

Here's a before picture of her room, when we first entered:


After we rearranged the furniture and had everything unpacked and set up, her desk:


She gets the top bunk:


And in her pleather-clad glory (note the BIG-ASS album on the top shelf next to her...that's the infamous Pokemon card collection. Also note the gigantic stacks of cards next to the album. Those are some of her "extra" cards.)


Okay, photobucket is being a big pain in my ass, by not letting me embed some pics that have been resized, so I'll just post some links to pics of the exterior of her building.




Isn't it pretty?

The highlight of yesterday, however, was being asked by another resident if I was moving in...if that isn't an ego-boost, I don't know what is! I would recommend she get her vision checked...

Today I returned the rental car in the morning and spent the rest of the day chilling out in my room, avoiding the rain and thunderstorms...Silver wasn't so lucky, she had to be out in the weather! Poor thing. I guess it's impossible to stop worrying, even though she's "all grown up"!

This concludes my mini-travelogue. I wish I had more pictures, but since I was the driver, it was impossible to take pics from the car, and the weather was too inclement for me to walk around everywhere like I had planned (and I was not properly clothed for bad weather, either!).

By this time tomorrow, I'll be home with my dogs...but I bet I'll still be listening for the wicked chuckle coming from the other room...

Monday, August 17, 2009

Obvious differences.

We were driving back to our motel after the day's shopping excesses, and we happened to pass an elementary school.

There was one glaringly obvious thing that underscored the tremendous differences between Grand Forks, ND and Las Vegas, NV.

There was NO FENCE OR WALL around the elementary school grounds. Just lots of lovely green grass. I repeat, because I still can barely believe it: NO FENCE around the elementary school.

Anybody and his uncle could walk right up to the school building. The kids could wander right off the campus and across the street.


Grand Forks Update

Hi, everyone!

This is just a quick recap of yesterday's events. Dun-dun-dunnnnnn...

First of all, the packing was a true nightmare. Silver wanted to take everything but the kitchen sink with her, but naturally we were constrained by the limitations placed on us not only by the airline, but also our own physical strength!

I had planned on our leaving the house at 3:00 AM, but true to form, we were in the car at 3:40. Luckily, the three AM scheduled time left us a big buffer (I KNOW how we are, so I planned ahead! :D)

The first snafu we encountered was checking in our two giant suitcases, one of which was truly ginormous. The lady looked at me, looked at the suitcase, checked the scale, looked at me again, and asked, "Is there any way you can remove five pounds from this bag? Otherwise I'm going to have to charge you $50.00."


I assured her I could most certainly get five pounds out, and immediately opened both suitcases and started frantically transferring Silver's knickers, among other various and sundry items, from the morbidly obese suitcase to the merely obese one.

It worked.


Disaster averted. I did NOT want to shell out any more money to Allegiant Air, which charges you for everything, including snacks, beverages, and even blankets, if you need one. Which I did, because I was freezing on the flight, but I chose to decline, since again, I didn't want to spend any extra money!

We arrived in Grand Forks, ND, after an uneventful flight, to find gray skies and a steady rain. Silver was ecstatic, since she loves bad weather, me? Not so much!

Though having my hair rained on made my 'do FABULOUS. Seriously, I looked like I had just come from the salon!

Bear with me, I know this must be boring you all silly.

Rental car acquired (a Toyota RAV4, for the trunk space), we proceeded to our hotel, where we were told our room wouldn't be available until 3:00PM. This was a dilemma, because it was only noon and frankly, we were exhausted from staying up all night.

So we went to the nearest McDonald's for sustenance, which killed maybe 45 minutes, then drove around Grand Forks and did the campus drive-by tour.

Grand Forks and the campus of the University are truly gorgeous. So GREEN. I mean, not even the golf courses in Las Vegas are that green. Hell, not even the FAKE GRASS in Las Vegas is that green!

Huge, leafy trees everywhere. Beautifully maintained older homes interspersed with the brick campus buildings. Man, today I need to take my camera with me!

We drove by Silver's residence hall a few times in our meanderings, and it's so CUTE. It's very small, and apparently she'll be on the top (third) floor, where there are only four or five dorm rooms. Of course there's no elevator, so I'm NOT looking forward to moving her in tomorrow morning and having to carry all her stuff up the stairs.

We headed back to the motel at around 2:30, and they had our room ready, thank goodness. I collapsed onto the bed and had just dozed off when Silver's phone rang: It was her roommate, whom I'll call "Jane", for G.I. Jane (she's in Army ROTC), who was in town on her way to her uncle's and wanted to meet us. We were game, even exhausted!

We met Jane, who is a perfect match for Silver (likes video games, can quote "The Princess Bride"), and her Dad, and they showed us the way to the local Target, where all dorm stuff is on sale. We loaded up our cart with all of Silver's needed linens, a trash can, hangers, and a desk lamp. (My GOD, I'm even boring myself. I apologize.)

Then we headed over to the Panda Buffet, a Chinese buffet/Mongolian barbecue, where we met Jane's uncle and aunt and their kids, who live on a farm about two hours away from Grand Forks. They invited Silver to come over with Jane on the occasional weekend or holiday to help out on the farm...*lol*! My mind shuddered to a halt as I contemplated the unthinkable: MY daughter, who is complaining of sore muscles this morning because of having to lift the carry-on luggage, totin' that barge and liftin' that bale on a farm. I'm ALL for it, it could only do her good! Not to mention it will broaden her horizons a bit.

After partaking of various delicacies at the Panda, we made our farewells and headed back to our motel, one thought in our minds: SLEEP.

We didn't bother setting the alarm, since we knew we needed as much sleep as we could get after our previous sleepless night, and gratefully crashed.

Which is why I'm writing this so damn late today. We slept until nine AM!

Okay. We've got to hit the road. Many things left on our to-do list for today, including taking pictures to bore you with later.

Signing off in ND!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Almost time...

In a few hours, Silver and I will be winging our way to North Dakota. We're going to get her settled and set up in her dorm room, ready for anything!

I supposedly will have high-speed internet in my hotel room, but I won't be holding my breath. I will make it my goal to find a good wifi signal SOMEWHERE, so I can keep my faithful readers updated on all my adventures.

I also plan on taking plenty of pictures, so be prepared for the onslaught!

This is Christina LMT, signing off...

Saturday, August 15, 2009


Me: No, Silver! You don't need to take your entire frickin' Pokemon card collection with you to college. You especially don't need to take all the extra cards with you, "just in case"! We are not driving up there, remember? We have to pack all of your clothes.

Silver: I have to take my album with me, so that I have a place to put my new cards when I buy them.


Silver: You know, they have a "21-and-over" division at Pokemon tournaments!

Me (mumbling): Might as well call it the "Perpetual Virgin" division...

Silver: Hey, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin!

She's got a point there!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Overheard at the Chiropractor's office...

Me: GAWD, I need some coffee. BAD!

Sarah (the new CA): OMG, so you're NOT a Mormon?

Me: Nope.

Sarah: Thank God, I thought I was the only one!

You have to understand that (besides us two, obviously) the ENTIRE office staff and both Chiropractors are LDS. As are many, many of the patients.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Some spa tips for you

If you've just spent the past six hours walking around the Strip in 100+ degree weather, I DON'T CARE THAT YOU TOOK A SHOWER THIS MORNING. Take another fucking shower before I massage you. It won't kill you, and it will prevent me from wanting to kill you because of your disgusting and rank odor.

If you insist on wearing shorts when I massage you, I appreciate cool ones, like the Simpsons ones a client was wearing yesterday.

If you're a female who's training for MMA events, don't take testosterone.*
I don't care if you're convinced it will help you win your fights.

a)Everyone can tell you're taking it.
b)The effects are irreversible.
c)It's scary, especially your beard stubble and the obvious sideburns you try to shave off.

*Okay, so this has nothing to do with the spa, per se. Consider these bonus tips!

Overheard at McDonald's

"I'm destroying the environment every time I take a piss!"

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Overheard at the spa...

(said in a thick Southern drawl) "Shit, for how much I paid for that mattress, it should sleep for me!"

Thursday, August 06, 2009


I had one of my favorite patients at the chiropractor's tell me today that since she started getting massages from me about two months ago, she hasn't woken up from the pain in her shoulder ONCE. Now that is the best reward I could ever get from doing massage.

I got choked up, just a little.

Monday, August 03, 2009

The joys of massage...

do not include being repeatedly gassed by one's client. It is something to endure.
At least I'm not married to the man, like Rhyan's client in this couple's massage. SHE has to deal with his raunchy ass on a daily basis.

Maybe she has no sense of smell.