Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Am I the only person who worries about getting head lice while watching a movie at a theater?

I mean, think about're leaning your head back against the same seat that at least a hundred other heads have leaned against...chances are that somebody who sat there previously had lice! And I guarantee you that the headrests are probably the least frequently cleaned area of the theater.

I try not to think about it, or I can't enjoy the movie.

Maybe I'll start bringing a large garbage bag with me to cover that part of the seat...

Profound Words

My daughter Silver, a sophomore in high school, was sitting in her American Literature Honors class when the teacher stated (to the entire class), "YOU are the future of America!!"

Silver glanced around at her fellow students, one thought uppermost in her mind:
"Oh, God! We're doomed!!"

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


Well, I don't feel the burning desire anymore to try to recreate the eaten post verbatim, so I'll just give you the high notes.

I started my new job last Wednesday, worked Wednesday and Thursday and came in this past Monday to find out that the super nice lady who hired me, the Spa Director, was fired on Friday.

I also found out that I'm not the only person she promised a therapist position, there are at LEAST five other people (with seniority, no less) to whom she made identical promises!

Maybe she was fired for a reason...

The point is moot, anyway. Whoever gets hired to replace her is certainly under no obligation to honor her promises.

I'm definitely going to stick it out, though. If even half the people quit or transfer out of the spa who have threatened to in the past few days, I'll be sitting pretty!

Even though I can't get the image of rats deserting a sinking ship out of my head...

On another note, a lady I work with has a cold, and she irritated the hell out of me by sniffling all day. Being the courteous wench that I am, I graciously held out a tissue box to her, hoping she'd take the (oh, so subtle) hint and blow her frickin' nose!

Her reply, "Oh, no, I can't blow my nose. It would mess up my make-up!"

Just shoot me now.

Another colleague of mine told a client off today. She is a very amusing, tough as nails young lady, who happens to be 10 weeks pregnant.

She's massaging this guy, who is face down on the table, and he starts "wiggling", basically grinding his junk into the table.

She immediately removes her hands from him and asks (in a very stern voice), "Why are you moving?"

He replies sheepishly, "I'm just going with the flow..."

Therapist: "Well, DON'T, you are making me VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!

He didn't move an inch during the rest of the treatment session, not even when he was on his back on the table.

She definitely doesn't take any shit from the clients, and that's as it should be, though I'd be a little more diplomatic about it!

The hotel is very good about therapist security. Even though the customer is king, that stops when the treatment begins, if the client is an ass, that is.

My supervisor told me how a client asked at the very end of his massage, "Where's my happy ending?", possibly as a joke, and the therapist immediately broke off the session and security escorted the client out.

We just can't take any chances with our safety or our licenses, and all these losers have to do to get that kind of massage is open the phone book!


I saw the following sign outside a conference/convention hall today:

Steel Stud Manufacturing Association

I'm sorry, but as a healthy woman with an off-kilter sense of humor, one who lives in a town where the Chippendales have their own, permanent, theater, many thoughts unrelated to metal nailheads raced through my brain.

Needless to say, quite a few of them were x-rated naughty.

C'mon, "Steel Stud"??!!

The possibilities for abuse are endless!


What I'm reading right now:

Rereading the entire Honor Harrington series by David Weber, I'm almost finished with "War of Honor".

Absolutely excellent books which will always have a permanent place on my keeper shelf.


Take care of yourselves, folks, and have a great weekend!
(Yes, I know it's only Thursday night, but my weekend starts tomorrow, yaaaay!)

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Son of a Bitch!

Blogger ate my post.

I'll have to recreate it tomorrow, 'cause I've got to crash.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Big Day

Tomorrow's the big day...I'm starting my new job!

I'm excited, nervous, excited, scared, excited, well, you get the idea!

I will be working in a wonderful Spa on the Strip.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to perform massage until I have my license, the extremely pain-in-the-ass process of which I spoke in an
earlier post.

That's all right with me! I'll be working initially as a Spa Coordinator (fancy way of saying "receptionist"), and Spa Attendant (basically handing out towels, offering beverages and snacks, etc.)
This will afford me the excellent opportunity of really learning the ropes BEFORE I start massaging folks. So I won't feel like I'm being thrown to the wolves...this is a GOOD thing!

Anyway, it's nice to be able to share the positive stuff instead of just whining as usual.

One quick whine before I's f'ing FREEZING here! This is Vegas, WTF?!
I actually hit a patch of ice driving home today...totally not prepared for that.
We even had some snow last week.
And to think I moved to Vegas to get away from shitty weather like this...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Rice Krispies

As I'm getting old(er), I realize more and more that I resemble Rice Krispies.
Every time I move, I hear "SNAP, CRACKLE, AND POP"! Especially my knees.
It sucks.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

I think I'm in love...

Yup, he's a hero all right.

Read about this lovely man!

I guess any other suspects involved might think twice about trying something like this again!

Have a great weekend, folks.

Friday, January 05, 2007


Finished, finis, fertig, done!!!

I finally, finally graduated from Massage Therapy School on December 20th.

With a 4.0 average, thankyouverymuch!

I took my National Certification Examination for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork (NCETMB for "short") on January 2nd and PASSED! With high scores in every category!

I guess I'd better update my profile.

Now, I just have to go through the incredibly frustrating, expensive, all-around pain in the ass licensing process.

I have to get a state license, a Clark County License, and since I plan on doing out calls for my private practice, licenses for Henderson, North Las Vegas, and the City of Las Vegas!

And I also need to get a Health Card and Sheriff's (or Metro) Card.

The "wonderful" new state license unfortunately does not replace all the others, I have to get it in addition to them!

I'm not permitted to perform massage in my home (for pay), I can run my business OUT of my home, but am not allowed to touch anybody there (for pay).

The reason for all this crap is fairly obvious once you open the local yellow pages to the Massage section.

Here's a brief glimpse of the typical full page ads there:

"Blissful...Fantastic Asian Massage...Our Masseuses (!) will lead you to a blissful and relaxing experience...satisfaction oil rubdown...1st class full service full body rush attitude!"

"Superstars massage...excellent full body massage...treatment for kings (what about the queens!)...friendly and skilled masseuses (!)... hot oil slow caressing-secret touch...body shampoo and body scrub from head to toe"

"Awesome Asian oil rubdown massage...our job is to pamper you and make you RELAX from head to toe!...enjoy the tender touch of our friendly masseuses (!)"

Well, you get the idea. I must note that most of these ads are in lurid shades of pink and red, depicting cherries, lipstick (WTF?), and hearts, among other things, and also that some "masseuses" perform the "massage" in bikinis or lingerie (that's right there in the ad).

It's gotten to the point that the few legitimate therapists who advertise in the phone book actually have to put "non-sexual" in their ads, and I'm sure they still get calls requesting the other kind!

My school, and a few of my instructors especially, strongly suggested we NOT advertise in the phone book. I'm just going for referrals from my existing clientele, I'm not going to advertise at all, especially since my private practice will mostly consist of out calls (going to peoples' homes to perform the massage).

In other news, I had a fantastic Christmas with all three of my spawn, the younger two of whom I hadn't seen in a year (because of school), they are THISCLOSE to being as tall as their big sister, and I'm sure within the next six months they will surpass her.

Heh, heh, heh!

I don't know why I find this so amusing...maybe because it's karma?
I told her and told her when they were little not to pick on her baby sisters so much, because they might grow bigger than her and there are TWO of them.

Hmmm, didn't know I was psychic!

Anywho, it's time for me to order some yummy pizza and settle in for an evening of watching Silver play "Okami", it's like watching a movie!

I know, my life is all thrills and chills, innit? ;)