Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Christina's One Word Movie Reviews

"How to Train your Dragon" in 3-D = FUCKING AWESOME!

Okay, two words, but they're the right words. :)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Today's my day off...

so I really didn't need to set an alarm clock. Tell it to my neighbor's rooster, who got loose again and decided that I needed to get out of bed, tout de suite. Feathery bastard, crowing right outside my window...chicken and dumplings sounds really good right now.


Sunday, March 28, 2010

Stormy skies...

seen on my walk yesterday.







These didn't turn out half bad!

And we didn't even get any rain...I was sure we'd get a big storm.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Overheard at a Health Fair...

I'm doing chair massage, and I'm working on a little old lady. Random dude walks up.

"Would you like me to massage you while you're massaging her? I have WONDERFUL hands..."

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Is my iPod trying to tell me something?

I have 422 songs on my iPod Nano. I have them on shuffle, since I like to mix things up.

EVERY TIME I've worked out in the past week or so, "What a Way to Wanna Be" by Shania Twain has played at some point during my exercise routine. Here are the lyrics:

I don't wanna wear that
It only makes me look fat
Time to tone my thighs-- gotta lose another size, yeah!
What a way to wanna be

Exfoliate--look great!
Feel guilty 'bout what you ate
You're buyin' all the books--
to learn the latest looks, yeah
What a way to wanna be

We like to buy, we like to spend,
to keep up with the latest trend
But we don't get no satisfaction
living like a slave to fashion
No more thinking for yourself,
just get it off a shelf

Oh, why be perfect? No,
it's not worth it!
Don't be so obsessed--c'mon give it a rest
This is not some contest--just do your best
'Cause nobody's perfect!
What a way to wanna be

Moisturize, exercise, erase the
rings around your eyes
Cover what you can,
get a Coppertone tan, yeah
What a way to wanna be!

Stabilize the mood you're in--
you're back on diet food again
Bigger is the best, but only
in the chest, yeah!
What a way to wanna be

We like to buy, we like to spend,
to keep up with the latest trend
But we don't get no satisfaction
living like a slave to fashion
No more thinking for yourself,
just get it off a shelf

[Repeat Chorus]

It's so very--unnecessary
Yeah, how insane--to be so vain
It's so synthetic--I just don't get it
I don't get it, baby, yeah, yeah

Don't be so obsessed--c'mon give it a rest
This is not some contest--just do your best
'Cause no--oh body's perfect!

[Repeat Chorus]

Not the true video, of course. You can't find those on youtube!

Now, I certainly wouldn't call myself obsessed with being perfect, since perfection is impossible to achieve. I do however believe that there's always room for improvement. So I'll continue to work out as much as I can, and Shania and this song can go to HELL!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

He's a chiropractor...

not a medical doctor!

Fielded a call from a patient yesterday at the office. You could hear by the shakiness of her voice that she was trying not to cry.

Seems she rolled her ankle sometime during the day, and was now completely unable to put any weight on her foot or move it, and if she touched it, the slightest pressure made her nearly black out and/or want to puke.

So what does she do? She calls her chiropractor in a panic, hoping he can fit her into his schedule and "pop" her foot back into joint. Just like that.

In her magical world of rainbows and unicorns, her chiropractor has special powers that he uses to fix massive injuries, with the wave of his hand and by applying a little pressure. Oh, and by maybe taking an xray or two. Because soft-tissue injuries show up SO WELL on xrays.

I understand being hurt and afraid, but you have to have some common sense as well.
I also understand not wanting the hassle of going to the ER and probably receiving a whopping bill to boot, as I'm not insured, but for some things, you have no choice.

As my boss told her over the phone, icing it overnight is probably not going to help much. She needs to go to the ER and get an MRI. She shouldn't fool around with her ankle, as she's going to need it to be able to walk on that foot for decades to come.

Chiropractic is a wonderful practice, but it can't cure or fix torn ligaments and tendons, nor can it pop completely dislocated feet/ankles back into joint.

That's your PSA of the day.

Friday, March 19, 2010


I'm one of those weird creatures with two middle names. Not only do they not go together, it make life sometimes slightly difficult. Like today, when I got a letter from the Texas Insured Something-or-Other (I already shredded the letter), letting me know that my car was not listed as insured in the state of Texas.


I did all they asked, compared the car's VIN to the one listed on my insurance policy, check. Got all the numbers together (VIN, insurance policy number, license plate number, reference number on the letter itself), and gave them a call.

After wending my way through the automated system, I got a hold of a nice lady named Linda, who asked me the fatal question: What's your FULL name...?

D'oh, again!

Seems that my insurance company has me listed as Christina A. (name redacted), while on my actual vehicle registration I'm listed as Christina A. I. (name redacted).

D'oh, for the third time.

Their computers couldn't handle this discrepancy and were unable to reconcile these two seemingly different identities, so my records never got properly amended.

Luckily, Linda was able to take care of it posthaste! Let's hear it for real humans!

All the while I was handling this, I was inwardly cursing my folks for not being able to agree on a middle name, which is how I ended up with BOTH. My dad's bright idea, btw. THANKS, DAD! ;)

On another meh note: Fat-free cheese is an abomination on par with Milli Vanilli: it doesn't MELT. Much.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Everything's Bigger in TEXAS...

Did you know that DFW airport is bigger than the entire island of Manhattan? I didn't, either! And I found this out by reading a Pro-Texas billboard on the side of the highway. I didn't know they felt it necessary to publish propaganda for the state...I thought the awesomeness of it spoke for itself. LOL!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Overheard in the Kitchen...

my roommate's reaction to receiving the Census letter

"They can go to hell! The less the government knows about me the better. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-government. I'll defend 'em to my death...just anonymously."

Good point.


You know when you're all excited, 'cause you have a bunch of fun plans for your day off? Yeah, me too!

Tomorrow's my day off, but it's also spring break, and the spa is hopping. I just got a call from the lovely Bri, our receptionist, begging me to come in. We're normally closed on Mondays and Tuesdays, so it's hard for her to find people willing to come in on their days off to work. Yeah, I said I'd do it. Hey, I'm not going to turn down the chance to make money! I need all I can get: I'm going to have all three of my girls spending the summer with me (squeeeee!), and you know how teenagers eat. :)

Thursday is also my day off, so I'll just shift my "fun" plans over there. It's all good. Oh, even better: Bitchy-Woman refused to come it, so I won't have to deal with her! Yay!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

It's such an incredibly lovely day outside...

I took a walk with my dogs and tried not to think about bitchy people who do nothing but bitch and bitch. And bitch. And tear other people down.

'Cause I work with someone like that, and I don't like it or her.


Saturday, March 13, 2010

Warning: Profanity Ahead!

If those motherfucking assholes who park their lazy, barely-driving-the-speed-limit selves in the passing lane, keeping ME from getting to where I need to go, don't GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY, I might have to unleash the rage.

This is a warning.

Friday, March 12, 2010


Overheard at the chiropractor's office:

"Oh, you like this, huh? My wife says it does nothing for her..."


Reason #3,468 I love living in a small town...

Marvin the Mechanic. Who figured out what the other bozos didn't, tightened the offending, screeching belt, AND cleaned my corroded battery connections. While discussing his pets, the flower beds he has around his house which his wife is working on today, and good places in town to get good, cheap food. And booze.

Then charged me ten bucks for it.

Life is good.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Happy Ending?

I've blogged here before about the crap I and most other therapists have to put up with from clients who want more than a therapeutic massage.

Here's a lovely video that *I* like to think sums up perceptions about massage, therapists, and what we'd like for every slimy client to get...

The video is sorta-kinda SFW...

(H/T to Salamander for telling me about the video and sending me the link.)

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Just got back...

from walking a little over 5 miles with my dogs. We had a lot of fun, though my precious pups were dragging a bit there towards the end. I took some pics, petted some horsies (squeee), and now am rejoicing that I don't have to go to the gym today. Oh, and I won't have to dremel my dogs nails this week, either. They did that on their own, walking and running on the hard surface of the road.

I also really enjoyed hearing the croaking of frogs whenever I passed a pond (tank?). Cicadas I'm used to hearing. Frogs? Definitely none of those in Las Vegas!

As we walked across the yard to the street, I noticed some daffodils (?) spearing up from around the base of a tree. Did my taciturn, redneck, macho roommate plant these, or were they here when he bought the place, eight years ago?


Here are some of the views on our walk. I'm sure they will be even more beautiful when spring has fully sprung!


Love the water tower in the distance:


I'm sure very soon a bird couple will be using this nest:


The following REALLY amused me. A massive gate structure, suited to an equally massive mansion, plantation, or ranch house a la South Fork, yet up the driveway is a modest, unassuming three-bed-room (probably) brick house. The brick does match, though! Oh, and you can see Harley's butt in the second picture. The sun was so bright today, I couldn't see what I was photographing most of the time!



Speaking of my pups, they were so tired by the end of our trek, they stood still long enough for me to take pictures!



And when we finally got home, they lapped up a bit of water and collapsed. They are STILL sacked out, for that matter.

Tucker tuckered out. Harley is buried under sheets and blankets.


All in all a very good way to pass a couple hours. Now only if my 85 SPF sunblock had worked a bit better...*sigh*.

Sunday, March 07, 2010


Much like ducklings or goslings, who imprint on the first thing they see after they've finished hatching out of the egg, newbie massage clients tend to stick with their first therapist if at all possible. This can be advantageous, naturally...if YOU are their very first massage experience. Unfortunately, it's much more likely that you'll get stuck with someone who is constantly comparing the massage you're giving them with the massage they've become accustomed to, always to your detriment.

Yesterday, however, the unexpected happened.

I did an 80-minute deep-tissue massage on a client who's been coming here since we opened last fall, who received her very first massage EVER from one of my colleagues, and who has been faithful to this other therapist since. She was not thrilled at all to have a different therapist, but I did my thing, and she seemed happy when we were finished, and tipped well.

Later I heard she went up to the front desk to check out and, with a grave expression on her face, stated to the receptionist, "We have a big problem..."

She liked MY massage better! She said she wanted to see me from now on, and was worried about hurting the other therapist's feelings.

Hopefully my colleague won't notice her defection, otherwise it could be awkward between us. Honestly, though, every therapist does his or her massage differently, and there are always going to be clients who prefer one over the other, it's the nature of the business and HUMAN nature, to boot.

So I'm never going to mention this to anyone at work, and hope I can keep flying under the radar, since I'm the low (wo)man on the totem pole at the spa...intentionally poaching clients is a serious no-no, and I don't want folks to get the wrong impression of me.

Hey, I can't help it if I'm good. ;)

When one has cool friends...

who go on marvelous adventures abroad, one never knows what kind of goodies might end up in one's mailbox...


Is she trying to tell me something? I'd like to think so.

I look good in black. ;)

Thank you, Brigid...I bet they heard my squeeeeeeeeing all the way in Houston!

Friday, March 05, 2010


Take heed and learn from my egregious example: It rarely pays to lie!

There's a nice Hispanic lady named Gloria who comes by the chiro office every Friday, selling tamales, burritos, or (like today) enchiladas out of her truck. The food's not that great, and she's EXPENSIVE, but every once in a while, I feel bad so I'll shell out the dough and buy food I don't really want.

My boss had reached his own personal limit, and when he saw her coming through the tinted windows of the practice, darted into his office while tossing, "I'm not here!" over his shoulder.

Gloria guilted me into buying the truly mediocre, overpriced enchiladas, then she asked, "Dr. *Chiro* not here?" I shook my head and said, "No"...right before my boss, not hearing MY answer and feeling guilty about hiding while Gloria was asking for him, strode out of his office to greet her.


I was so unbelievably embarrassed, and I knew my face was turning fiery red. I quickly blurted, "Doctor! There you are!" as if that was going to fool anyone.

Boy, lesson learned. After Gloria had left, I threatened to throttle my boss, and I told him I'd never, ever lie for him again. I also decided never to purchase anything from Gloria again, because she'll probably spit (or worse!) into my food.

Sheesh, try to help a guy out, and all you get is humiliation and heartburn from bad enchiladas!

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Live from North Texas...

it's Christina LMT, blogging from her very own home!

I have internet, and it's a Very Good Thing.


More furry neighbors...

No, not THAT kind of furry, you sick-minded so-and-sos!

THIS kind of furry:



Pretty horsies, seen on my walk today. Full-sized ones, obviously...just for Buckskins Rule and FarmGirl!

I hope you are all having a lovely week!