I almost forgot...

to post my POST-Irene pics. Here's the pile of broken branches that we collected from the backyard. Most of them are from the big ol' willow tree, some of which crashed to the ground while I was walking my dogs during the storm.

Snippet of a chat exchange...

Silver is stoked about a song by deadmau5, her latest favorite musician. She shares the video with me, and yes, dutiful mother that I am, I actually watch it...



Me: Okay, in that song, Rob Swire was the ghostly singer?
And is the musician pronounced "DEADMOUSE"? or "DEADMAUFIVE?"

Silver: no, actually
the guy who "died" was played by deadmau5 and yes, he has that tattoo on his neck in real life
it's pronounced "dead mouse"

Me: So who was Rob Swire?

Silver: the reason why it's spelled like that is because he couldn't fit it as a chatroom username when spelled correctly
the singer was Rob Swire
there's an actual version of the song without lyrics, it's a slightly different mix
I have both
also, deadmau5 is a huge nerd
he made several Minecraft references in his performances in LA

Me: Okay, is that music techno or what?

Silver: it's in a subgenre of electronica
he's "progressive house", apparently
funny thing is
Daft Punk is French house
and both Daft Punk and deadmau5 cover their faces when they perform
I wonder if it's a house music thing?

Me: And he wears the giant disco-ball-dead-mouse-head during performances?

Silver: yes
and it has LEDs on it
so it can change expressions
he apparently has different ones
here, lemme find a pic...

Me: But is it still TECHNO?!

Silver: yeah
if AVTechNO! and Daft Punk are considered Techno, then deadmau5 is definitely techno

Me: Okay.

Silver: xD
oh maaaaaaan
AVTechNO!'s new album is coming out in two days!!
this is one of the songs on it



Me: Now I have blogfodder, thanks!

Silver: xD
if you're going to use a video...
I think you should use this one



also, deadmau5 likes Cthulhu
a lot

Me: No, Silver. I'm blogging this CHAT!

Silver: like, he's getting a Cthulhu tattoo and everything xD
oh
ok

Me: LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Silver: ha
during the LA concerts, Rob Swire went on stage and sang Ghosts N Stuff...in a ghost-sheet costume
also, deadmau5 is in Vegas right now
complimenting the weather
also, getting his tattoo
he was on Twitter WHILE getting the tattoo!
the creator of Minecraft even asked about it!

Me: GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
I'm blogging. :D

Silver: LOL
ah
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150291652346806.333530.9980651805&type=1#!/photo.php?fbid=10150291661396806&set=a.10150291652346806.333530.9980651805&type=1&theater
let's see if that link works
that's him wearing the LED mau5head
also, note the Bullet Bill t-shirt (from Mario)

Me: that's pretty freaky.

Silver: LOL
also
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150291652346806.333530.9980651805&type=1#!/photo.php?fbid=10150291664036806&set=a.10150291652346806.333530.9980651805&type=1&theater
man, he's so cool
I want to go to one of his concerts someday
along with Daft Punk, AVTechNO! (if he ever has one), and Hatsune Miku
of note, he was the only electronica artist at Lolapalooza who performed at a main stage instead of in a "rave tent"
also, the Meowington's Hax tour?
named after his cat
his cat

Me: Okay.

Silver: also, a covalent bond is a bond in which an electron is shared between two atoms
just so ya know ;)

Me: yeah, I know that.

Silver: aaaaand I just realized that I could just type my stuff out instead of writing it

Me: Sheesh, do you think I'm a moron?

Silver: LOL
the college thinks I'm one
that was part of my biology homework!
I learned that in high school

Me: Yeah, I learned that in anatomy AND microbiology. And chemistry in high school.

Silver: oh

Me: OKAY, DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

Silver: my
god
there is a Kagamine Rin cover of that PON PON PON song x.x
oh god
it's even worse
it's a LEN Kagamine cover
also, English subtitles
oh my goooooood

Me: STOP
RIGHT

Silver: why is this so catchy?!

Me: NOW

Silver:



Me: NO, STOP
STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP
HOMEWORK

Silver: ah I see

Me: And I'm saying goodnight so I can blog.
GOODNIGHT
I LOVE YOU!

Silver: PON is the onomatopoeia for clapping
ok
good niiiight
let me know when you post it
<3 you!
Sent at 10:09 PM on Monday

Damn, I feel old.

I'm not a sheep...

but I will follow the herd on occasion, when it provides blog fodder!

Here's the list of NPR's top 100 SF/F titles, with the ones I've read bolded. I added comments as necessary!

1. The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien (read it once, long ago when I was a teenager...I haven't been able to read it again, I always get bogged down)
2. The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
3. Ender’s Game, by Orson Scott Card
4. The Dune Chronicles, by Frank Herbert
5. A Song Of Ice And Fire Series, by George R. R. Martin
6. 1984, by George Orwell
7. Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury
8. The Foundation Trilogy, by Isaac Asimov
9. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley
10. American Gods, by Neil Gaiman
11. The Princess Bride, by William Goldman (it's inconceivable to me NOT to have read this classic...;))
12. The Wheel Of Time Series, by Robert Jordan (this is the TRUE never-ending story, and I bailed after reading and re-reading the first six or so books)
13. Animal Farm, by George Orwell
14. Neuromancer, by William Gibson
15. Watchmen, by Alan Moore
16. I, Robot, by Isaac Asimov
17. Stranger In A Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein (of course, Heinlein is the MASTER)
18. The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss (reading this as we speak, so to speak)
19. Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut
20. Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley
21. Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, by Philip K. Dick
22. The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood
23. The Dark Tower Series, by Stephen King (tried this one and failed; I've not read anything by King since "It" totally terrified me...fucking CLOWN)
24. 2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke
25. The Stand, by Stephen King (see above)
26. Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson
27. The Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury
28. Cat’s Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut
29. The Sandman Series, by Neil Gaiman
30. A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess
31. Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein (duh)
32. Watership Down, by Richard Adams (many times)
33. Dragonflight, by Anne McCaffrey (LOVE this series, I've read it many times and took joy in sharing it with my oldest child, who's also a fan.)
34. The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein
35. A Canticle For Leibowitz, by Walter M. Miller
36. The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells
37. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, by Jules Verne
38. Flowers For Algernon, by Daniel Keys (I read this one when I was just a kid, borrowed from my older brothers who were reading it for high school English. DEPRESSING.)
39. The War Of The Worlds, by H.G. Wells
40. The Chronicles Of Amber, by Roger Zelazny
41. The Belgariad, by David Eddings
42. The Mists Of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley
43. The Mistborn Series, by Brandon Sanderson
44. Ringworld, by Larry Niven (LOVE Ringworld!)
45. The Left Hand Of Darkness, by Ursula K. LeGuin
46. The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien
47. The Once And Future King, by T.H. White
48. Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman
49. Childhood’s End, by Arthur C. Clarke
50. Contact, by Carl Saga (liked this, never watched the movie)
51. The Hyperion Cantos, by Dan Simmons
52. Stardust, by Neil Gaiman
53. Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson
54. World War Z, by Max Brooks
55. The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle
56. The Forever War, by Joe Haldeman
57. Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett
58. The Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant, The Unbeliever, by Stephen R. Donaldson
59. The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold
60. Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett
61. The Mote In God’s Eye, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
62. The Sword Of Truth, by Terry Goodkind
63. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy
64. Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke
65. I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson
66. The Riftwar Saga, by Raymond E. Feist (YES, read this, but only the first two series.)
67. The Shannara Trilogy, by Terry Brooks (to me, Terry Brooks epitomizes the author who shoots his wad right off the bat, and is never able to get to that level again)
68. The Conan The Barbarian Series, by R.E. Howard
69. The Farseer Trilogy, by Robin Hobb
70. The Time Traveler’s Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger
71. The Way Of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson
72. A Journey To The Center Of The Earth, by Jules Verne
73. The Legend Of Drizzt Series, by R.A. Salvatore
74. Old Man’s War, by John Scalzi (most definitely an author to watch)
75. The Diamond Age, by Neil Stephenson
76. Rendezvous With Rama, by Arthur C. Clarke
77. The Kushiel’s Legacy Series, by Jacqueline Carey
78. The Dispossessed, by Ursula K. LeGuin
79. Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury
80. Wicked, by Gregory Maguire
81. The Malazan Book Of The Fallen Series, by Steven Erikson
82. The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde
83. The Culture Series, by Iain M. Banks
84. The Crystal Cave, by Mary Stewart
85. Anathem, by Neal Stephenson
86. The Codex Alera Series, by Jim Butcher
87. The Book Of The New Sun, by Gene Wolfe
88. The Thrawn Trilogy, by Timothy Zahn
89. The Outlander Series, by Diana Gabaldan
90. The Elric Saga, by Michael Moorcock (very depressing, but my brothers were reading it, so I HAD to, too...:))
91. The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury
92. Sunshine, by Robin McKinley (it's on my TBR list)
93. A Fire Upon The Deep, by Vernor Vinge
94. The Caves Of Steel, by Isaac Asimov
95. The Mars Trilogy, by Kim Stanley Robinson
96. Lucifer’s Hammer, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
97. Doomsday Book, by Connie Willis
98. Perdido Street Station, by China Mieville
99. The Xanth Series, by Piers Anthony
100. The Space Trilogy, by C.S. Lewis

I have to say, some of these books (and authors!) I've never heard of! Others are old, beloved friends.

Also, forty out of a hundred, not bad. :D

Not Thanksgiving...

but I'm so thankful for my friends. Thank you for listening, it really helps when I'm doubting myself for whatever reason, you just make me feel better!

You know who you are...:)

You know you're reaching a "certain age"...

when your friend gently yet adamantly shakes her head "no" at you as you go into raptures over gaudy feather earrings at Claire's.

Sigh...

Overheard at the dinner table...

Older Lady: When I was a child, we had a horse, a cow, a pig, chickens...

Young Child (excitedly): Oh, did you have baby pigs?!

Older Lady (deadpan): No, we had bacon.

uproarious laughter from around the table

Saturday Randomocity:

- Masshole drivers. I'm speechless.

- Bruiser has picked his people, and it's not us. I'm maintaining the polite fiction of "This is my cat, I'm just SHARING him with you." and taking food up to my neighbor's place, but I'm just kidding myself. I don't see him at our place anymore at all. *sigh*

- We made a pilgrimage to Zimman's to look for fabric for costumes for a certain EVENT that's rapidly approaching (COLUMBUS DAY, GAH! I NEED TO LOSE TEN POUNDS!), and I was completely floored by the mountains and mountains of gorgeous available fabrics. I'm pretty sure Phlegmmy would have been in raptures. We took a pic of a bolt of fabric that we believe she'd love and sent it to her...haven't heard back yet, I hope she didn't pass out from squee overload!

- Outback Steakhouse. Chain restaurant? Yes. But their new wood-fired prime rib is the second best prime rib I've ever eaten, and I'm a connoisseur.

- Went to the local Y and signed up yesterday (s.a."GAH"). Perfectly suitable for my needs and located right around the corner.

- Two notable things happened during this process. First, a man came in to exercise who had forgotten his little key-card thingy and had to give his last name instead...and I almost choked on held-back laughter. Out of respect for the delicacy of feelings some of my readers have (*snerk*), I won't repeat the name here. Suffice it to say that in my head I was shrieking, "He might as well be named 'PUBES'!" Second, a teeny, rickety old couple came in to use the pool, noodles in hand. Just as I was thinking to myself, "How adorable, they still exercise together!" they started berating the poor front desk gal because the main pool was closed for the afternoon due to contamination. Like it's her fault! Oh, and the female half of the couple maimed my foot with her cane as they stalked off (okay, shuffled off is more accurate) in a huff.

- Dunkin Donuts decaf iced coffee with a hazelnut shot and milk RULES.

- ZOMFGIRENEMAGEDDON!!!!1!!ELEVEN!!! HALP US WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEE! Uh, probably not. But we do plan on securing all outside items so they don't become projectiles.

- Oh, and in case you were wondering...we did find some spectacular fabric to incorporate into my costume, squeeeee!

That's about it for me today, how are all y'all doing?

"Opportunist"...

equals "CAT"!

I've not felt much like posting lately because one of my cats, Bruiser, went missing. I hadn't seen hide nor hair of him in a week, and he hadn't been sneaking back to the house at night to eat the food I set out for him and his brother, either. I could tell by the amount of food left in the bowl.

We live near a conservation area and there are lots of dangers for an outside cat, but Bruiser is smart and comes from a long line of tough barn cats, so I wasn't too worried the first few days. As time passed, however, I started getting anxious. His brother, Pipsqueak, was even more anxious, and had been yowling for him, to no avail.

I had frequent nightmares of his being injured and helpless, mewing for me...

Today I sat down and started making phone calls. Local animal control, local vets, etc.

One call I saved for last, because I had to wait to get my phone bill to find the Tuna-Lady's number. Bruiser visited her last month and she made the mistake of feeding him tuna, hence the affectionate nickname I bestowed upon her. My cats wear collars with name tags and my phone number, so she called to make sure he hadn't been abandoned.

...

I know, LOGIC FAIL.

Anyway, I called and left a message on her answering machine, not expecting too much, only to get a call back a few minutes later, informing me that Bruiser was lying on her deck right now, chillin'. Little fucker!

He's been hanging out at that particular cul-de-sac for the past week, making friends with all the folks who live there, particularly the ones who give him treats.

In return he's warmed laps and hearts, filled the air with purrs, and brought them gifts like snakes and blue jays. Tuna-Lady sits on her deck with him every morning, drinking her coffee and enjoying his company.

Everyone loves him, especially Tuna-Lady's elderly neighbor with cancer, who considers petting Bruiser therapy.

*sigh*

It took three tries to get him to STAY in the car for the drive back to our house, and right now he's in my room, fairly satisfied since my dogs are there to keep him company and he has food. But it's not going to last. This is the cat who's an escape artist and who wants to be outside with every fiber of his feline being. I told Tuna-Lady that I'm sure he'll be back to visit there soon, and to just give me a call or text when he shows up and hangs out for too long.

I'll make sure I keep up with his Frontline for Cats and his vaccinations, and we'll reevaluate the situation as it gets colder here. Last winter, my cats were still kittens and 100% indoor cats, so I don't know how they'll behave this time around, especially considering we live in Massachusetts now, not Texas!

I know one thing for sure: if Tuna-Lady's husband weren't allergic to cats, Bruiser would undoubtedly have a permanent home there, regardless of what his collar says!

The irony...

is crushing...

I saw a morbidly obese young girl, maybe 12 or 13 years old, entering a restaurant with her family, wearing a tank-top that read:

YOUR HEALTH IS YOUR FUTURE

In all sincerity, good luck with that. You're going to need it.

Unexpected, yet welcome!

As I was bitching pissing and moaning whining dulcetly complaining for the millionth time about my lower back pain yesterday, my friend B. eyed me up and down and abruptly said, "Lie down!"

*blink blink*

"Uh, right here?" (We were in the living room at the time.)

"Yup, right here on the floor."

"Okay...?" Remembering with trepidation the many, MANY times my last chiropractor had attempted to adjust my lower back, I complied.

Then B., RN and one-time Physical Therapy student, proceeded to rearrange me to her liking.

"Flex that knee and bend the leg over to the floor...straighten the other leg...good...now lay your upper body flat...okay, where exactly does it hurt?"

I lifted the hem of my t-shirt a bit and prodded my left SI joint.

"Right here, and the pain extends across my hip and a bit down my leg, it feels WRONG, like something's catching there."

B. kneeled next to me and palpated the joint, saying, "Hmmm...it's definitely protruding a little more here than the other side..." Then she leaned over and cupped my left knee with her left hand, pulled it toward her, and PUSHED with her right hand against my recalcitrant ilium.

*POP...POP...POP...POP*

Oh. MY. GOD.

I felt things shifting all across my lower back, even in my right hip.

B. kept the pressure steady, until it was pretty obvious that my back was finished adjusting, then she rubbed it a bit and said, matter-of-factly, "All done."

As I turned over to lie flat on my back and stretch, pain-free for the first time in months, I batted my eyes at B. and asked, "Marry me?"

Alas, she turned me down flat, laughing even (her hubby beat me to the punch YEARS ago), but she did agree to getting a massage from me.

Somehow, it doesn't seem like enough.

Thanks so very much, B.!

*grumble grumble* Stupid ilium...you'd better stay where you belong, or I'll sic B. on you again!



Image Source

Nasal lavage...

...with peppermint tea: NOT RECOMMENDED.

LabRat is my hero, again!

If only every parent would read this, and absorb it, and agree with LabRat's brilliant-yet-commonsensical views, the world would be a far better, saner place.

I'm sending this link to all three of my daughters (who were vaccinated against HPV, thankyouverymuch.)

---

H/T to LabRat of the Atomic Nerds, who is far smarter than most, yet has such a way of explaining things, even us mere mortals can understand them.

Genius!

Found on Fukung (Frequently NSFW!)


I LOVE this...but then again, I'm a total geek. :)

---

H/T to SCI-FI!

Ahhhhhh...

...nothing says "ambiance" like a bag of dog poo.

:P

My favorite song...

just got a whole lot better.



Enjoy!

I haz a sad...

They've all gone home.

Okay...?

Could somebody explain to me the ridiculous overabundance of Dunkin Donuts stores in Massachusetts? I swear to God, there's one on every corner! I also saw many stores in neighboring states, but Mass is reaching DD critical mass!

In my town, there's even one spot with two DD stores right across the street from one another. You know, so they get you coming and going.

:facepalm:

You know you've been IMing too much...

when you drive by a bank and read the electronic sign out front thusly: At the moment, it's 75 degrees...


:facepalm:

I have been schooled!

By a six-year-old.

While asking my youngest client during a massage yesterday if she's still "Da Queen of Wewaxation," she replied indignantly, "It's 'ree-lax-ation', Miss Christina!"

And when I reminded her that during her most recent massage, she still called it "wewaxation", she insisted loftily, "I'm OLDER now."

Point.

Exercise!

Being on vacation is hazardous to my waistline. I made a fortuitous discovery today, however:

Kayaking = Excellent upper-body workout!

My arms were shaking when I lifted the kayak out of the water, and I can already tell that I'm going to be sore tomorrow. Win!

Overheard at the dinner table...

"Don't worry, you won't ever be psychotic...you're too OCD for that!"

Oh, have I mentioned...

that Silver is here?!

Yep, I have all three of my wonderful spawn with me until the end of summer, and I couldn't be more thrilled...even when they're bickering. (Though I do tend to head for the hammock when they ARE bickering. I'm not stupid!)

Here's a pic from a couple days ago, when we went on a sunset boat ride:



And here's the sunset!



It's absolutely gorgeous and peaceful here. I love it.

Who knew?

I had no idea that my pups would be so good at Bug Patrol!

I was sitting on the gazebo with Harley on my lap, when he scared the shit out of me by starting to lunge and snap. For a brief moment I was worried he was having another seizure, then I realized that he was snapping at mosquitoes! Tucker, who was lying on the dog bed, joined in, and it was the sound of castanets all around.

I guess my dogs hate mosquitoes as much as I do, or else they love the taste of 'em!

Weer'd, Harley and Tucker have found their prey drive at last, and it only took being bitten by skeeters a few times!

Who knew?

Rivendell

I'm spending a few weeks at Rivendell, a beautiful lake a few states away from where I now live.

I'm unhappy to report that locusts, *ahem* ITALIAN GREYHOUNDS, don't swim worth crap. Tucker, my big wuss, actually ran down the dock and jumped in to join me in the water. And pretty much sank like a stone.

*sigh*

When I held him around the chest, he desultorily stroked his front legs through the water (displacing almost none), barely paddled his hind feet, and called it done. He held his head majestically the whole time, either completely oblivious to, or uncaring of, the fact that I was the one propelling him through the water and simultaneously keeping him from drowning.

It was hilarious!

My girls spent the entire afternoon and evening in the water, until the skeeters drove them from the lake about half an hour after sunset.

I, however, after my dog-towing duties were complete, wrapped myself in a towel and vegged out on the gazebo, sipping booze with my feet up and enjoying the sunset.

Life is very sweet.





Pooped-out puppehs:

Had a Blast Last Night...

Weer'd Beard and Mrs. Weer'd came over for some grilled meat and stuff. By "and stuff" I mean tons and TONS of conversation and discussion of movies. My kids are cinema fanatics and they and the Weer'ds got along like a house on fire.

I had positioned this little fellow on the newel post of the porch steps, hoping to get a chuckle out of Weer'd, but I suppose he didn't notice (the duck is VERY tiny).



Good food was eaten, many movies' plots dissected, guns were admired (of course!), many tall tales were told, and much laughter was heard.

Thanks to SCI-FI and Mrs. SCI-FI for their hospitality and awesome friendship. They rock.

---

Bonus: It's always fabulous when your friends like your kids and vice-versa, and it was a hoot to see my kids hit it off so well with the Weer'ds.

Double Bonus: Seeing how my by Weer'd much maligned dogs, whom he labels "locusts", fawned over him and the Missus. They couldn't get enough lovin' from them, and I even got Weer'd to admit that despite their (by him perceived) hideousness, they are very nice and affectionate dogs. WIN!

Holy Cannoli!

Conversion of my TX driver's license to MA driver's license...ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS. What a racket.

Overheard at the dining table...

"Great, so I'm going to purp poople that's on fire!"

You had to have been there.

And the award for worst gas station name EVAR goes to...

Kum & Go

No, seriously.

We have arrived...

and there goes the neighborhood!

Mostly intact and with the car still running. All the animals are alive, too.

Win!

More later, I'm tired and need a shower.

Good-night!

Traveling with cats...

...without A/C, since it decided to break just as we crossed the border into Ohio. I guess it could be worse, the A/C could have decided to die while we were still in TX or OK!

The next day or so until we reach our destination should be interesting...

ALSO overheard at the Motel Six...

"Dueling Banjos" as a lady's ringtone...wtf?!?

Overheard at the Motel 6...

...Mom, this is really important...which socks should I wear? Striped, or Argyle?

Me: Definitely Argyle. You can't go wrong with Argyle!

Traveling with cats...

...not recommended. Not only was I shat upon, but my very favorite, ancient, lumpy, not to mention irreplaceable, pillow was pissed on and ruined. You know the big cat house in the zoo? That's what the car smells like. Oh, and my forearms are generously scratched, too.

That being said, I feel sorry for my poor kittehs. They have no clue what's going on, they're terrified of getting out of the car at rest-stops, and they refused to drink when we did take breaks.

Seeing as I only got three hours of sleep last night this morning, we ended our travels earlier than I had hoped, and luckily the cats seem to have recovered nicely. Using the make-shift litter box, drinking water, and trying to steal the dogs' food, too. :)

Time to order pizza and watch some Glee! Good night's sleep and back on the road early tomorrow!

Updates will follow ('cause I KNOW you're interested...;))

Killing me...

Bonus points to whomever names the movie in which this song plays a prominent role!

Overheard at the Dairy Queen...

TallyAngel (speaking in a tone of dawning horror): OMG, Mom!

Me: What?!

TallyAngel: I didn't know you had so much gray hair!

Me: ...

TallyAngel: I guess it's official now, you're old.

Me, employing a particular digit: Gee, thanks...


I'm amazed she made it to 17, truly I am. ;)

Ch-Ch-Changes...

A week from today, the twins and I will be on the road.

What was planned to be a lengthy vacation has morphed into a one-way move.

While Texas has been very good to me, it's time for a major change. I will be moving to New England and going to school full-time, working on my Bachelor's of Science in Nursing, instead of just my ADN. Since I already have so many credits, I can have my BSN in 2.5 years. In that case, why go to school for 2 years for an ADN, right?

I will be staying with dear friends who will let me pay rent in massages, and I won't be so lonely any more. Win-win!

Wish me luck, especially on the road trip. Tiny car, two non-driving teenagers, two dogs, and two cats=recipe for potential disaster!

:D

Movies

Okay, so far we've seen the following:

Green Lantern - all three of us enjoyed it. Yes, it has been savaged by the critics and it's bombing at the box office, but we were pleasantly surprised.

Red Riding Hood - Again, I was pleasantly surprised. I had NO expectations of enjoying this movie, but I did. Mainly because of the mystery.

MegaMind - All three of us adored this movie, we laughed so hard! It was extremely enjoyable and I wouldn't mind seeing it again.

Super 8 - ZOMG, RUN, don't walk, to the theater to see this movie on the big screen. It's worth every penny you pay for the ticket. Amazing story, fantastic acting.

Plus, we've watched numerous episodes of Glee, since TallyAngel hasn't seen the show at all, and wants to get into it. I'm an admitted Gleek, so it's no hardship for me to rewatch the first season with her.

Still on the agenda: X-Men First Class, Transformers III, Cowboys and Aliens, and Harry Potter. And probably some more that I've forgotten about.

Yes, my twins and I love movies, why do you ask? ;)

---

EDITED TO ADD: Captain America. TallyAngel had a COW that I had forgotten we plan on seeing that one, too...

Seen...

on a bumper sticker in my neighborhood:

DON'T ASK ME FOR A RIDE AND I WON'T ASK TO FUCK YOUR GIRLFRIEND

Keeping it classy in the trailer park!

Ah, yes...

if the earshattering music volume and constant bickering didn't quite convince me, tripping over the shoes left forlorn in the middle of the room did the trick:

My twins are really here!

And I'm ecstatic, headache, stubbed toes and all. :)

Something...

I should have internalized years ago, since I certainly knew it to be true:

DEFECTIVE VACUUM CLEANERS WON'T CLEAN YOUR CARPET.

Holy crap, what a pain in the ass.


In other news, MY TWINS ARRIVE TONIGHT! W00T!

Continuing the Parade of the Bizarre...

are the clients who called the spa's front desk after their massage, from INSIDE the treatment room, to ask for towels so they could wipe the oil off their bodies before getting dressed.

"The call's coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!"

Interesting...

I had a client the other day who had her shirt on when I first came into the room. I had to insist she take it off. Awkward.

This same client also asked, as I was rubbing a hot stone on her back, "How do you get your hands so hot?"

*sigh*

Maybe I'd be more charitable if she hadn't been my very last client at the end of a long, busy day. A day during which I spent most of my time in a treatment room whose A/C they can't seem to get working right. It was 83.3 degrees Fahrenheit in there at one point. It's draining to perform massage in such heat, and I was sweaty and gross by the end of the day. And cranky.

Worst. Massage. EVAR.

At least that's what my last client told my boss about the massage I gave her.

Don't get me wrong, I have gotten the odd complaint here or there, it happens. You can't please everyone, every time. This was different, though.

She came to me from my esthetician colleague, from whom she got a facial and eyebrow waxing...where there was a wee waxing mishap, resulting in her left eyebrow being slightly truncated compared to the right. You know what, shit happens.

So she was PISSED OFF before she walked in my door. Did she say anything to my colleague? No. Instead, she whined to me about not being able to relax during the massage, because of her EYEBROW, and abruptly shortened the massage from an hour to half an hour. I bent over backwards to make her happy, obviously unsuccessfully.

She told my boss that she could barely even feel my touching her, that it was the worst massage she's ever had, bitched about the waxing (which she didn't pay for, of course.) She refused to receive another massage from a different therapist, accepted the 10% discount on the massage she got from me. After she made sure she had everyone's name, our district manager's email address (you know, so she can bitch some more), she literally THREW the money she owed at my boss and stormed out of the spa.

Look, she had a legitimate gripe, I get that. But there are better ways to resolve issues than acting like a petulant child.

Happy Father's Day!

To all you Dads, Step-dads, Grandpas, Uncles, Big Brothers...you know who you are, but I don't think you always realize what an incredible job you're doing. You rarely give yourselves enough credit, so take a moment to absorb the accolades!

Thanks for everything you do for the child/children in your life!

Behind the times...

What the heck's wrong with me?! TallyAngel sent this link to me MONTHS ago, Phlegmfatale posted a live version of it on her blog last month, and I listened to neither, don't ask me why. Then last night, I heard a cover of it, liked it, and went back to the source. Oh. My. God.
What an amazing song! What an incredible voice! I want to cry when I hear this song. I want to strip naked and roll around in this song. I want to perform this song.



Just beautiful.

Been there, done that...

declined the t-shirt.

But I laughed so hard when I listened to this! Definitely NSFW, but funnier than shit!
I swear I had flashbacks. Especially the "openly weep[ing]" part...



This book may just be the best baby shower gift EVAR.

Wish I could be there...

I'd proudly wear pink.

SOON!

In less than a week, my twins will be here! Flying all the way from England, they'll be spending the summer with me, here in Texas for a few weeks, then mostly in New England.

I can't WAIT!

Squeeeeee...:D

ROFLMAO!

LOOK OUT! IT'S PEANUT ZOMBIES!



Found here.

So, what caliber for peanut zombies?

H/T to SCI-FI!

Happy Birthday!

Silver the Evil Chao, my oldest spawn, turns TWENTY YEARS OLD today. No longer a teenager, by law she is still prohibited from drinking alcohol and purchasing a handgun. One more year to go, Baby!

Damn, I feel old...

I hope you have a wonderful, special, happy day today, Sweetheart!

Have I?

PhlegmPhest 2011

What's there to say about PhlegmPhest? Nothing that won't sound like ridiculous hyperbole. :D

We enjoyed delectable food, scintillating conversation, MUCH laughter, and just spending time with friends.

Absolutely the best way to spend a weekend, as far as I'm concerned, and I can't wait for another wonderful gathering.

Thank you so much, Phlegmmy and LawDog!

Amazing!

On my way to PhlegmPhest 2011, I happened upon a grocery store with the best customer service EVAR!

I had to *ahem* use the facilities, and before I washed my hands, I noticed a sign on the inside of the door of the restroom..."Employees must wash your hands."

AWESOME!

What service! They don't even expect customers to wash their own hands...

I was out walking the dogs just now...

and a snippet of a song from a pickup truck's radio wormed its way into my mind. No, it wasn't the following song, but for some reason, the bit I heard reminded me of the refrain. And it's a cool song, anyway. Which is now stuck in my head, and YOURS. Muahahahaha...

EPIC VIDEO!

Yes, it's rather long, but STILL...WATCH IT!

H/T to B!

Just once.

Just once, one fucking time, I'd like a client to come right out and ask me for a happy ending. So that I could have the satisfaction of giving him the thorough, verbal smack-down he so richly deserves and could legitimately and with full justification end the massage right then and there.

Instead, I get the slimy, sneaky ones. The clients who hint and allude and tease. The ones I'd like to punch right in the face. Or the groin.

And there's nothing I can do about it. Because if I say anything, they'll protest their innocence and make me out to be some kind of paranoid prima donna.

Bastards, albeit clever ones.

Memorial Day

Thanks to all who sacrificed their lives to ensure our nation's freedom.

Visit the folks in my sidebar, most of them have said it far better than I ever could.

Just walk away.

I know I've blogged about this before, but it bears repeating:

Don't lie. If you have no intention of tipping, just walk away. Don't tell the front desk, "Oh, I left my wallet/purse/ATM card upstairs in my room, I'll come back with the tip. What time do y'all close?"

I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times a client who's said something like that actually followed through, and that's if I amputated three fingers and a thumb.

I'm gonna die from the cute!

Tip o' the hat to B!

New Experiences

First: It was my first time to serve on a jury.

and

Second: It was my first time (that I clearly remember) bugging out because of an oncoming tornado.

Both experiences were opportunities for learning and both were exciting in different ways. And as my roommate said, a day when you learn something new is not a wasted day (or something to that effect, right, Mulligan?)

:D

She-Hulk

I astonished the postmaster of my little town today when I walked into the post office carrying two rather heavy boxes of books. The combined weight was 49 pounds, plus I was also shlepping my mammoth purse, and I had a bag of cds I was planning on mailing, too.

Honestly, I only had problems opening the door, other than that, it was no big deal.

I guess all that time in the gym is good for something!

Seriously?!

If you can afford to pay $600 for you and your three daughters to get our most exclusive massages, you can afford to do better than handing a twenty dollar bill to the front desk gal to "split it between" the therapists. Fucking cheapskate.

Massage Protip Number Bajillion and Three...

When I say, "Get undressed to your level of comfort," it's a discreet way for me to say, "It's totally okay for you to keep your undies on, if you should feel uncomfortable being completely naked."

It does NOT mean keep your jeans, belt, socks, shoes, boots, whatever on! Good Lord, people! Have some common sense!

This ain't my first rodeo.

I've been doing massage for quite a few years now and I'm pretty jaded. Nothing much fazes me anymore.

I've had the groaners and the moaners. I've had the folks with flatulence.
I guess it was the juxtaposition of the moaning and the farting that discombobulated me a bit today. Not to mention the occasional chuckle thrown in.

"Mmmmmmmmmm...ooooooh...oh HO ho ho ho..."

blaaaaaaaaat!

"Uh.....oh, yeah...mmmmmmmmm"

pppllllllllltttttt!

*blink blink*

At least his gas was odorless. And he never sported wood.

Grrrrr...

I've been dying for a good nap for days, nay WEEKS. My sleep was awful during the semester, stress from school making it fractured and nightmare-ridden, so now I'm trying to make up for lost time.

The last nap I attempted, on Tuesday, died in its infancy, thanks to my soon-to-be former roommate hallooing at the door.

Today, I had just turned out the light and laid my head on my pillow with a sigh of satisfaction when my phone rang. Normally, I turn the ringer off during nap-time, but I was on-call at the spa today, so I had to leave it on. As it was my favorite brother on the other end, I ended up chatting with him for over half an hour. I think my replies to him at the end of that time were rather monosyllabic, but I don't think he noticed. :D

Finally, FINALLY, I was able to slumber. Albeit with bizarre dreams.

An all-too-short time later came a knock at the door...I'm pretty sure the nice, young Mormon missionaries weren't expecting a wild-haired, crazy-eyed woman to answer the door with dog in hand (he was barking furiously), but that's what they got! They shoved a card with their URL into my hands and took off.

I gave up on the nap and decided to whine on my blog instead. Lucky you.

I don't know...

what disturbed me the most.

1. The fact that my just-turned-eighteen-year-old client had numerous tattoos.

2. The fact that the tattoos were not new.

Or 3. The fact that when I entered the room, she was texting away on her iPhone, peeking through the face rest cut-out, and that I had to use my MOM VOICE to tell her to TURN OFF THE PHONE AND GIVE IT TO ME.

At least she listened.

Thanks, Silver!

My daughter, Silver the Evil Chao, sent me this pic yesterday. It's such a CUTE ITALIAN GREYHOUND...and the sentiment ain't so shabby, either. ;)



Of course, there are lots more Loldogs, go check 'em out yourself!

The Spa Business

...is feast or famine.

Witness this week: Thursday and Friday, I had nothing.
Today, my first massage wasn't until 3:30 PM, yet tomorrow I don't get a break until 3:00 PM.

Make hay while the sun shines, I guess. I hope the tips are good tomorrow!

Today...

douchenozzles abound on the highway.

Which isn't really anything new or exciting, but my blood pressure still reacts the same way, every time.

Yay?

Summer...it's headed for North Texas like a freight train. Temps are rising and I saw my first June bugs today.

I also already got my first mosquito bite. Fucker.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!

I got a B on my statistics final, but I got an A overall! w00t!

So my final grade in both classes this semester: A!!!!

I'm so glad this semester is OVER.

Deep breath.

Summer's here!

Scary smart...

My dogs being dogs, they get REALLY EXCITED when it's time to go for a walk. I mean, REALLY EXCITED. I don't like it when Harley especially gets that excited, because I can't seem to break him of the habit of jumping up at me. And I've tried and tried. So, when I'm talking or skyping with someone, and I need to let them know I'm going to be gone for a while because my dogs need to go out, I've gotten in the habit of saying, "The dogs need to go O-U-T." Spelling the word.

It only took a week or so for the dogs to make the connection. I can't even SPELL "Out" around them, they know what it means!

I'm screwed.

But I welcome my Italian Greyhound Overlords. They are easy to please. :)

Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor!

ZOMGTHORTHORTHORTHOR!!!!!!SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEADSPLOSION!!ONE!!11!!

*ahem*

Thor was very good.


And my final is done. And was meh. But I only need to get a 70 to get an A overall, so I don't care.

:D

It's my FRIDAY!

w00t! Par-TAY!

wait...Statistics final tomorrow...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

It's my FRIDAY! w00t! Stu-DAY!

*sigh*

Happy Mother's Day!

To all you moms out there, enjoy the day and allow yourselves to be pampered for a change. You deserve it!

Yep...

I got nothing.

Oh, well I guess I could mention that today I had my SECOND brush with almost-fame. Meaning that I was supposed to massage someone famous, but they decided not to do the massage thing after all. And no, I won't tell you who!

A while back, the spa was all set to massage a very famous 80's band, but they were such prima donnas that that fell through as well.

Heh, not that I could really write about it if I *did* massage anyone famous. That would be quite unprofessional, after all. ;)

At first...

when I draped his back, I peered at the tattoo on his right shoulder and wondered why anyone would want a tattoo of an upside-down pile of poo. Then, when I had come around to his side and was facing the head of the table, I looked more closely at it, being somewhat hindered by the dimness of the room, and realized that it wasn't poo, it was a heart. A heart of stone.

Considering that his girlfriend was in the next room getting a facial, I wonder what he's trying to say with that particular image. Not to mention that it was a VERY ugly tattoo. Hmmmm.

Librarians rock!

I just got back from working out at my local gym. I'd managed to get there earlier than ever before (before 7 AM! Gasp!). Whom did I spy?

Our local librarian. An elderly woman, her long, graying hair back in a jaunty ponytail, glasses firmly in place, wearing THIS t-shirt:



And pumping iron.

She's my hero.

---

Image from here

Seen on a chalkboard...

in a casino restaurant:

THIS MONTH'S SPECIAL: FRENCH DIP WITH AUJU SAUCE!

:facepalm:

Of course, being in Texas...

we didn't have to wait until today. Just sayin'...

This one's for my friends in the Northeast!

NSFW!!!!



While watching this, I laughed so hard I cried.

No coffee needed.

As I turned into the road that takes me past the casino to the hotel this morning, I was driving in the left of two lanes, passing a van. I tend to drive rather rapidly, you know. This road has four lanes, two on either side of a wide, grassy median. I glanced at my rear-view mirror, then looked ahead...into the eyes of the little old lady who was merrily driving in my lane, GOING THE WRONG WAY.

I quickly moved into the right lane, deeming it far too early in the day to play chicken. Plus, those little old ladies can be ruthless. I didn't want to risk it.

At least the shot of adrenaline to my system woke me up quite nicely.

Bleg...

So, would anyone in my neck of the woods be available (and willing!) to kitty-sit for me for several weeks this summer? I'm going on a rather long trip with my daughters, taking the dogs with us, but it would be extremely impractical and difficult to take the cats.

I'll pay a hundred bucks!

Thanks, y'all.

I laughed SO HARD...

this is truly a classic!


I'm so envious.



H/T to Officer Cynical

I wish you all...

a happy, happy Easter. :)

Dammit!

Embedding disabled.

Go here----->http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_QLzthSkfM

Watch the video. Laugh.

Contemplating...

the state of education in the U.S., when a college student doesn't know that 2000ml equals 2l. Fucked. Up.

Sad...

We had a fire the other day here at the trailer park. Just around the corner from us, a few houses away. Thankfully, the prevailing wind was blowing away from us, and the response from the fire department was prompt. (Heck, not just our little fire department, either: we had crews here from several nearby towns!)

Unfortunately, the trailer was completely destroyed, as were the two vehicles of the folks who lived there. I feel very sad for them, yet thankful that no one was hurt.

Here's the damage:





But I was reminded today that there's beauty here, too...

Statistics Yoda...

"Reject the null hypothesis or do not reject the null hypothesis. There is no 'accept'."

Should I...?

As most of you know, I have two almost grown-up kittens, Bruiser and Pipsqueak. Pipsqueak is perfectly happy staying inside and observing the great outdoors through the window, from the comfort of the back of the couch.

Bruiser, on the other hand, takes every opportunity to slip outside that he can. When I get home, I have to have a foot ready to repel him when I open the door. Now I'm wondering if I should just bow to the inevitable and acknowledge the fact that Bruiser is happier when he gets some outside time.

I've never wanted to have an outside cat. I believe the dangers are formidable, especially living in a trailer park located in a semi-rural area, as we do. But he's just so HAPPY when he can go on walkabout. Sometimes, when he's managed to escape, he even joins the pups and me while we perambulate, and plays outside with teh puppehs. He's pretty fast and stays right on Harley's heels!

He's had all his shots, is neutered, and I do the monthly anti-flea/tick regimen, so what do YOU think? Thumbs up or down on letting him roam daily?

Ego boost.

I just massaged a lady who received a gift card for said massage from friends for her birthday.

We got to chatting a bit and I mentioned that I was hoping to go to nursing school this fall, but that I planned on continuing practicing massage.

She responded, "I hope you do, because you'd be doing a great disservice to humanity if you ever stopped doing massage."

That warmed me down to my toes!

Everybody needs an ego boost once in awhile.

I feel all...special!

It seems I'm running with the big dogs now, or at least Scott seems to think so!

Both Breda and Peter have gotten solicitations by this Scott person, and I guess he's just working his way through somebody's blogroll. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (NOT!).


From:
"Scott"

To:
lucrativepain@yahoo.com

Dear Christina,

I am writing to you with a great interest in composing a guest blog for your website. I am a health, safety, and political advocate with a passion for economics and our nation's fiscal responsibility. I believe that under our current administration, budgets have become lopsided in favor of trendy "green" environmental policies. In light of the recent push by the House GOP to curb some of the overzealous EPA regulations, I feel that I could write a compelling article that would be of great interest to the readers of (http://lucrativepain.blogspot.com/).

Please feel free to email me back if this interests you.

Best Regards,

Scott Portman

NScott.QA@gmail.com

I didn't reply and if you're reading this, Scott, I'm not interested in letting you post anything on MY blog. You wouldn't get the readership you're interested in, anyway. :P

A & P II Lab Exam II and Lecture Exam II

A and A!

Oh, really?!

I've recently had two very manly men tell me completely opposite things, and I want YOU, my dear readers, to tell me which one of them is right.

Men squeeing. Yes or no?

I agree with Manly Man #2, that on occasion it's perfectly acceptable for a man to squee.

Manly Man #1 thinks only "men" (yes, he made the airquotes!) squee. (And women too, of course!)

What do you think? Opine in comments, please.

Bleg (not for me)...

I know times are tough, but if you have any money to spare, please consider going here, to help some young children who suddenly lost their Dad.

Also: Carpe Diem.

You never know when your time is up, so enjoy the time you have.

Ghetto Photoshop...

I'm so sorry!




But all I want to say right now is:

"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!!"


Bastards.

I'm in the mood...

for some HEART!





These ladies are STILL rockin'!

Damn, my dogs are prissy...

but they're not stupid!

It's already getting up there in temperature here in lovely north Texas, and my dogs are not thrilled. They get pissy and difficult when it's too cold, wet, windy, you name it, and they're not happy when it gets too hot, either.

I was walking with them to check the mail today, and as we were heading back home, I was annoyed by Harley constantly lagging behind and almost wrapping the leash around me in the process. Usually both he and Tucker are up ahead at the end of their leashes, sniffing and looking around.

Then I realized that Harley was trying to stay in my shadow, out of the sun. And I laughed and let him be.

Clever Harley is clever.

:D

*whew*

I took my second A&P II exams today, lab and lecture. They covered the respiratory and digestive systems and metabolism. I'm pretty confident I did well on the lab, and I guess we'll see about that stinking lecture exam.

Other than that, nothing new going on. Usual road rage at assholes who stay in the passing lane, blocking and backing up everyone behind them. *YAWN*

Also, work has been pretty dead the past few weeks, to the chagrin of my bank balance.

So, how's everyone else doing?

One Word Movie Review...

Sucker Punch:

Bizarre

(But kick-ass!)

Also, ZOMGWTF?! They're remaking CONAN THE BARBARIAN?!

PSA

Some folks around here apparently pronounce "Jeff" as "Jee-iff". Just thought you should know, it might come in handy...