but I thought being a bodyguard required some kind of discretion. I mean, shouldn't you take care to do your job unobtrusively? Unless of course you've been hired for show by some Hollywood wannabe.
So, personally, I don't get driving around in your Mercedes with the vanity plates reading:
BDYGARD
Unless you think it'll get you laid.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Nightmare
I had a horrible nightmare last night, the kind of nightmare that stays with you far longer than it ever should.
In this dream, my EX-roommate (the one in Las Vegas, I mean), who inexplicably was represented by Norm MacDonald, was pissed off at me for some reason. Really pissed off. So pissed off, in fact, that he grabbed my dog Tucker and broke Tucker's front leg with his bare hands.
I was understandably horrified by this turn of events, but instead of calling the cops, I merely kept bleating, "It's $3000 to fix his leg!"
And the dream continued on, covering a day or so, throughout which Tucker cried and yelped piteously whenever he tried to put any weight on that leg. Ugh. Horrible.
I woke up at some point and cuddled Tucker even tighter, murmuring, "Poor baby! Poor baby!"
I'm having a hard time forgetting this one.
In this dream, my EX-roommate (the one in Las Vegas, I mean), who inexplicably was represented by Norm MacDonald, was pissed off at me for some reason. Really pissed off. So pissed off, in fact, that he grabbed my dog Tucker and broke Tucker's front leg with his bare hands.
I was understandably horrified by this turn of events, but instead of calling the cops, I merely kept bleating, "It's $3000 to fix his leg!"
And the dream continued on, covering a day or so, throughout which Tucker cried and yelped piteously whenever he tried to put any weight on that leg. Ugh. Horrible.
I woke up at some point and cuddled Tucker even tighter, murmuring, "Poor baby! Poor baby!"
I'm having a hard time forgetting this one.
Riiiiiiiight...
I had a client earlier today who made me scratch my head. No, she didn't have head lice which she passed on to me. She just confused me.
I was reading her intake form before the massage, and she'd circled the great big NO next to "diabetes", yet she listed Metformin under her current medications. I recalled that Metformin, aka Glucophage, was an oral medication for diabetes, so I asked her about it.
"Oh, I take Metformin. It helps control my insulin levels. But I'm not diabetic. I don't have diabetes!"
Okey-dokey. De Nile is not just a river in Egypt, Folks.
Now if any of you edjumacated people out there have a different explanation for this apparent incongruence, let me have it. I'm not afraid to admit when I'm wrong.
I was reading her intake form before the massage, and she'd circled the great big NO next to "diabetes", yet she listed Metformin under her current medications. I recalled that Metformin, aka Glucophage, was an oral medication for diabetes, so I asked her about it.
"Oh, I take Metformin. It helps control my insulin levels. But I'm not diabetic. I don't have diabetes!"
Okey-dokey. De Nile is not just a river in Egypt, Folks.
Now if any of you edjumacated people out there have a different explanation for this apparent incongruence, let me have it. I'm not afraid to admit when I'm wrong.
Friday, February 05, 2010
It's all over but the shouting!
EXCELLENT news from my lawyer today! The parents of the babies I had are settling with the perinatal specialist! WOO-HOO! I just have to sign a waiver and release, have it notarized, and fax it to their lawyer. They are understandably concerned that I'll keep hitting them up for money, but I know for a fact this was the only outstanding bill dealing with the pregnancy, so I have no issues signing the waiver.
In other news, my life is so unexciting now that I have nothing much to report. I did apply at the local community college, with an RN major. I also went to the movies TWICE this week. I watched Avatar for the second time, this time in 3-D, which was excellent, and I saw "The Blind Side" yesterday, which totally blew me away. This is one of those rare movies that I think about a lot after seeing, also one of the exceedingly rare ones I plan on purchasing once it comes out on DVD. Good flick, go watch it. Sandra Bullock is outstanding, and the other actors are no slouches, either.
In other, other news, I'm coming to the inescapable conclusion that I need to find an additional job. Working two days a week is not going to pay my bills, and it would be really, really nice to be able to afford having internet service IN MY HOME. Imagine that, what a concept. ;)
So, it's back to checking craigslist obsessively and applying everywhere. Sigh.
Hope y'all are cruising along in the "smooth-sailing" lane.
In other news, my life is so unexciting now that I have nothing much to report. I did apply at the local community college, with an RN major. I also went to the movies TWICE this week. I watched Avatar for the second time, this time in 3-D, which was excellent, and I saw "The Blind Side" yesterday, which totally blew me away. This is one of those rare movies that I think about a lot after seeing, also one of the exceedingly rare ones I plan on purchasing once it comes out on DVD. Good flick, go watch it. Sandra Bullock is outstanding, and the other actors are no slouches, either.
In other, other news, I'm coming to the inescapable conclusion that I need to find an additional job. Working two days a week is not going to pay my bills, and it would be really, really nice to be able to afford having internet service IN MY HOME. Imagine that, what a concept. ;)
So, it's back to checking craigslist obsessively and applying everywhere. Sigh.
Hope y'all are cruising along in the "smooth-sailing" lane.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
You know you're doing a DEEP deep tissue massage...
when the massage table creaks loudly from the pressure you're putting on the body lying on said table!
Also: Had an interesting client yesterday. He's a pianist, a bowler, AND a martial artist (hapkido). Upper body, no particular tension or tightness, but his LEGS were like rocks. Weird combo, any way you slice it.
Also: Had an interesting client yesterday. He's a pianist, a bowler, AND a martial artist (hapkido). Upper body, no particular tension or tightness, but his LEGS were like rocks. Weird combo, any way you slice it.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
I don't have a yard at the moment.
It's more like a swamp crossed with a lake. And it's SO MUCH FUN taking the dogs out. NOT.
*sigh*
Oh, well. They'll go when they have to go, even if I have to drag them outside on leashes.
I just hope it doesn't get quite cold enough to freeze, but I'm afraid that's a forlorn hope.
But I've got nowhere to go tomorrow, and I checked out a stack of books and movies at the library today. AND I have plenty of food, too. So it'll be a jammies-and-blankets day, chez Christina!
*sigh*
Oh, well. They'll go when they have to go, even if I have to drag them outside on leashes.
I just hope it doesn't get quite cold enough to freeze, but I'm afraid that's a forlorn hope.
But I've got nowhere to go tomorrow, and I checked out a stack of books and movies at the library today. AND I have plenty of food, too. So it'll be a jammies-and-blankets day, chez Christina!
Did you know...
that one of the main reasons I moved to Texas was all the awesome bloggers who live here?
One such blogger is the marvelous Roismhaire, a Plano massage therapist with her own business, whom I met via our blogs long before I moved here.
She's funny, she's smart, and she's a true friend. We got together at her house on Monday, went to a Mexican restaurant for lunch (there were, like, FIVE Mexican restaurants on the same street...is Texas awesome, or what?!), then headed back to her house for some tinkering on the computer.
You see, Roismhaire has a Masters Degree in Computer Science (Shhhhhh! Don't tell her I told you!), and she's setting up a website for my business! Out of the goodness of her heart! FOR FREE!
Plus, she helped me design my new patient consultation sheets and my treatment notes, as well.
Even before my move, she was always ready with advice and tips on being a therapist in Texas, and she's always offering encouragement and strategies for success.
On top of all that, she's simply a hoot! We laugh and laugh, whether we're on the phone or meeting IRL.
I'm so glad she's my friend.
Now I just have to get her, Phlegmmy, and Holly together...the awesomeness would exceed safety parameters! But what a way to go!
One such blogger is the marvelous Roismhaire, a Plano massage therapist with her own business, whom I met via our blogs long before I moved here.
She's funny, she's smart, and she's a true friend. We got together at her house on Monday, went to a Mexican restaurant for lunch (there were, like, FIVE Mexican restaurants on the same street...is Texas awesome, or what?!), then headed back to her house for some tinkering on the computer.
You see, Roismhaire has a Masters Degree in Computer Science (Shhhhhh! Don't tell her I told you!), and she's setting up a website for my business! Out of the goodness of her heart! FOR FREE!
Plus, she helped me design my new patient consultation sheets and my treatment notes, as well.
Even before my move, she was always ready with advice and tips on being a therapist in Texas, and she's always offering encouragement and strategies for success.
On top of all that, she's simply a hoot! We laugh and laugh, whether we're on the phone or meeting IRL.
I'm so glad she's my friend.
Now I just have to get her, Phlegmmy, and Holly together...the awesomeness would exceed safety parameters! But what a way to go!
Girls' Night Out!
I had the glorious opportunity last night to enjoy a delicious meal in the company of two dear friends.
We met at Sweetie Pie's Ribeyes in Decatur, which I cannot recommend highly enough. Chicken Fried Ribeyes...who knew?
In addition to moi, Holly and Phlegm Fatale rocked the joint.
Naughty jokes were told (which caused our waiter to join us at the table at one point), and we were quite raucous in general, which is par for the course if you ever get any of us together.
Our waiter declared we were the best customers of the week, and gave us a free piece of red velvet cake to share...delicious!
Anyhoo, without further ado, here are somemugshots of the perpetrators pictures of all the gang.
Pretty in purple, it's Holly!
Lighting up the room with her smile, La Phlegm!
Here's the three of us (or two of us and my head, anyway...)
And Holly and myself with our fantastic waiter, showcasing his Popeye tattoo.
As you can see, a good time was had by all. Naturally. ;)
Man, the only problem I have with dinners like these is how short they are! We need to have a pajama party/sleepover sometime. Yes! That's it! Movies, games, girl talk, popcorn and ice cream...an overnighter!
*rubbing my hands together with glee*
I must get to planning!
Muahahahahahahaha!
We met at Sweetie Pie's Ribeyes in Decatur, which I cannot recommend highly enough. Chicken Fried Ribeyes...who knew?
In addition to moi, Holly and Phlegm Fatale rocked the joint.
Naughty jokes were told (which caused our waiter to join us at the table at one point), and we were quite raucous in general, which is par for the course if you ever get any of us together.
Our waiter declared we were the best customers of the week, and gave us a free piece of red velvet cake to share...delicious!
Anyhoo, without further ado, here are some
Pretty in purple, it's Holly!
Lighting up the room with her smile, La Phlegm!
Here's the three of us (or two of us and my head, anyway...)
And Holly and myself with our fantastic waiter, showcasing his Popeye tattoo.
As you can see, a good time was had by all. Naturally. ;)
Man, the only problem I have with dinners like these is how short they are! We need to have a pajama party/sleepover sometime. Yes! That's it! Movies, games, girl talk, popcorn and ice cream...an overnighter!
*rubbing my hands together with glee*
I must get to planning!
Muahahahahahahaha!
You know you live in rural Texas...
when there's a huge bloodstain in the garage from where your roommate just blew away a gigantic, cat-food-stealing possum with his shotgun.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
My new place...
Here are some pics of my new home, with gratuitous kitty shots tossed in for good measure. Oh, and Silver, when she was here, at the library!
I like it here so much. It does take a bit getting used to, though, how driving long distances is now becoming the norm!
I like it here so much. It does take a bit getting used to, though, how driving long distances is now becoming the norm!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
It's not the destination, it's the journey.
No, I'm not waxing all philosophical on you, or not too much, anyway.
Last Sunday, I got off of work early, and since it was such a beautiful day (unlike windy, chilly today), I got the pups leashed and we headed out for a long walk. I needed the exercise, meself!
We set off to explore areas I'd not yet visited in my perambulations, and since the road was extremely flat (thus the visibility was good) and very untraveled, I let the dogs off-leash so they could run.
Now remember, in Vegas, the only time I actually walked the dogs was when we were going to the park.
After about a half-hour or so of marching along, I turned around to head back home. Harley looked up at me all bewildered, as if to say, "WTF, Mom?! Aren't we GOING somewhere?!"
I replied, using my best Farmer Hoggett voice, "It's not the destination, Harley, it's the JOURNEY."
He still looked at me like I was a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Oh, well. Pearls before swine, and all that.
While we were on our way back home, I took a moment to greet some horses that were grazing along the fence line (squeeing internally, I might add. I've always been horse crazy.)
My dogs ambled a little closer to the fence, and I could almost see the wheels turning in Harley's little brain, "DAMN, that's a big dog!"
He eyed the horse's posterior, and I all but saw the thought bubble pop up over his head, "Man, his butt's way too high up! How'm I supposed to sniff it?!" Since I didn't happen to have a stepladder handy, and since the horse was on the other side of the fence anyway, Harley was destined to be disappointed. Poor thing.
I still think my dogs believe all the other critters around here are very strange dogs.
In any case, we had a really good time. :) I look forward to our next walk in the country.
Last Sunday, I got off of work early, and since it was such a beautiful day (unlike windy, chilly today), I got the pups leashed and we headed out for a long walk. I needed the exercise, meself!
We set off to explore areas I'd not yet visited in my perambulations, and since the road was extremely flat (thus the visibility was good) and very untraveled, I let the dogs off-leash so they could run.
Now remember, in Vegas, the only time I actually walked the dogs was when we were going to the park.
After about a half-hour or so of marching along, I turned around to head back home. Harley looked up at me all bewildered, as if to say, "WTF, Mom?! Aren't we GOING somewhere?!"
I replied, using my best Farmer Hoggett voice, "It's not the destination, Harley, it's the JOURNEY."
He still looked at me like I was a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Oh, well. Pearls before swine, and all that.
While we were on our way back home, I took a moment to greet some horses that were grazing along the fence line (squeeing internally, I might add. I've always been horse crazy.)
My dogs ambled a little closer to the fence, and I could almost see the wheels turning in Harley's little brain, "DAMN, that's a big dog!"
He eyed the horse's posterior, and I all but saw the thought bubble pop up over his head, "Man, his butt's way too high up! How'm I supposed to sniff it?!" Since I didn't happen to have a stepladder handy, and since the horse was on the other side of the fence anyway, Harley was destined to be disappointed. Poor thing.
I still think my dogs believe all the other critters around here are very strange dogs.
In any case, we had a really good time. :) I look forward to our next walk in the country.
Better late than never...
Not having internet at home sucks. Big time. That being said (and it's my excuse for the lack of posting), I'd like to FINALLY say what a fantastic time I had at our mini-blogmeet on the 15th!
I'm normally uncomfortable in groups of people I don't know, but I had so much fun meeting Barleythere and Mrs. Barleythere, DanielS., and Mr. and Mrs. Swamp Rabbit, that I didn't feel uncomfortable for a second. Of course it's always fabulous to see Holly and JPG. :)
The food and company were splendid, I just wish we'd had more time together. Well, next time we can pick a place closer to the Big City, so that the drive for the others isn't so much of a bear.
Thanks again, Y'all, for coming out to see everyone and for giving me the chance to meet you, I really appreciated it!
I'm normally uncomfortable in groups of people I don't know, but I had so much fun meeting Barleythere and Mrs. Barleythere, DanielS., and Mr. and Mrs. Swamp Rabbit, that I didn't feel uncomfortable for a second. Of course it's always fabulous to see Holly and JPG. :)
The food and company were splendid, I just wish we'd had more time together. Well, next time we can pick a place closer to the Big City, so that the drive for the others isn't so much of a bear.
Thanks again, Y'all, for coming out to see everyone and for giving me the chance to meet you, I really appreciated it!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Unfortunate News...
Ambulance Driver will not be able to attend the Mini-Blogmeet scheduled for tomorrow.
To anyone who planned on attending merely to bask in his exalted presence, I apologize and hope you'll still be there at Babe's, tomorrow night at 8:00 PM!
To anyone who planned on attending merely to bask in his exalted presence, I apologize and hope you'll still be there at Babe's, tomorrow night at 8:00 PM!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Blog Meet is ON!
Come one, come all!
Date: Friday, January 15th
Time: 8:00 PM
Location: Babe's Chicken Dinner House
Attendees:
Christina LMT (duh!)
Holly
JPG
Ambulance Driver
Phlegm Fatale
LawDog
Possibles:
Tolewyn
Plus a super-seekrit blogger relative...
If you want to attend, EMAIL ME OR LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS POST.
Thank you!
Update:
DanielS will be attending, too!
Date: Friday, January 15th
Time: 8:00 PM
Location: Babe's Chicken Dinner House
Attendees:
Christina LMT (duh!)
Holly
JPG
Ambulance Driver
Phlegm Fatale
LawDog
Possibles:
Tolewyn
Plus a super-seekrit blogger relative...
If you want to attend, EMAIL ME OR LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS POST.
Thank you!
Update:
DanielS will be attending, too!
You know you live in a small town...
when the librarian takes your picture for the local paper, since you're the very first library patron to take advantage of the new interlibrary loan service!
God, I love it here!
God, I love it here!
Monday, January 11, 2010
In other news...
if you'll direct your gaze to the ticker in my blog's sidebar, you'll see that I'm in weight-loss triple-digits now! I never truly thought I'd see the day, but my success has exceeded all my dreams and fantasies. Just a few more pounds to go!
Where to start...?
Well, quite a lot has happened since Friday, and I guess I'll start from the beginning. Yeah, very boring and conventional, I know.
Friday evening, Silver and I had the wonderful opportunity to meet my blogfather, Big Dick, his gorgeous wife, Kelly, and his son, Dick, Jr. at Babe's Chicken Dinner House. Yes, I know he'll shake his head and roll his eyes at being called my blogfather, but too bad, so sad! He'll just have to suck it up and deal with it!
Not only was the company exceptional, but the food was to die for. Hands down the best fried chicken I've ever had. A foodgasm was easily achieved.
Saturday was my first day at the new job, and though my colleagues were grousing about it being slow in comparison to the usual Saturday, I was thrilled that I had services, despite being the therapist with the least seniority, and there being five other therapists there that day. Shit, at my last job in Vegas, *I* had the most seniority, so I was the therapist booked first, and I STILL wasn't getting any work. Now THAT'S slow, People!
After I got home from work, it was time to load up Silver, all her plethora of crap, the dogs (speaking of crap...;)), and drive up to Oklahoma to take her to the airport. Winter break is over, it's time for school again, muahahahaha!
She's arrived safely and I'm back home now, too. God, I hate long drives, especially when I'm tired, especially when it's after dark, and ESPECIALLY when there are so many stretches of highway under construction. I had a douchebag in a tiny car behind me for about half an hour who had four ultra-bright headlights competing to see which would blind me the most and cause my head to explode from the pain. I finally just risked getting a speeding ticket and zoomed away.
Also, it's freaking COLD. I mean, really, REALLY COLD. Ugh.
This could have contributed to something amusing that occurred in one of the aforementioned construction zones.
You know those electronic signs that the authoritah puts up around construction zones to advise drivers of crap? Well, on one stretch of highway, Silver and I counted at least six of these things, and every one advised us individually of a different speed in the construction zone. And no two consecutive signs stated the same speed! Either someone had fun hacking into the system, or the cold caused some snafus, 'cause the first sign stated, "Speed limit 49 ahead." WTF? 49? The next one said 47, followed by 49 a couple times, then 46, then the last sign said, "Speed limit 38 ahead." Weird. Especially because the only non-electric speed limit sign in the entire construction zone indicated that the speed limit was in fact 55.
Oh, well. At least Silver and I got some lulz out of it! We arrived at my wonderful friend's house and got a quick nap in before it was time to drive Silver to the airport. Having such good friends ROCKS! I also had the opportunity to eat at Cracker Barrel for the first time EVAR (weird, I know!). They certainly cook a bang-up breakfast! Finally I hit the road again and made it back home in around three hours.
Anyhoo, that's my weekend wrap-up. Tomorrow I have some training at our spa location in Plano, and my work schedule for next weekend is already shaping up nicely.
Also, a mini-blogmeet is in the works for next Friday. As soon as arrangements are set in stone, I'll share the details!
Hope y'all have a good week!
Friday evening, Silver and I had the wonderful opportunity to meet my blogfather, Big Dick, his gorgeous wife, Kelly, and his son, Dick, Jr. at Babe's Chicken Dinner House. Yes, I know he'll shake his head and roll his eyes at being called my blogfather, but too bad, so sad! He'll just have to suck it up and deal with it!
Not only was the company exceptional, but the food was to die for. Hands down the best fried chicken I've ever had. A foodgasm was easily achieved.
Saturday was my first day at the new job, and though my colleagues were grousing about it being slow in comparison to the usual Saturday, I was thrilled that I had services, despite being the therapist with the least seniority, and there being five other therapists there that day. Shit, at my last job in Vegas, *I* had the most seniority, so I was the therapist booked first, and I STILL wasn't getting any work. Now THAT'S slow, People!
After I got home from work, it was time to load up Silver, all her plethora of crap, the dogs (speaking of crap...;)), and drive up to Oklahoma to take her to the airport. Winter break is over, it's time for school again, muahahahaha!
She's arrived safely and I'm back home now, too. God, I hate long drives, especially when I'm tired, especially when it's after dark, and ESPECIALLY when there are so many stretches of highway under construction. I had a douchebag in a tiny car behind me for about half an hour who had four ultra-bright headlights competing to see which would blind me the most and cause my head to explode from the pain. I finally just risked getting a speeding ticket and zoomed away.
Also, it's freaking COLD. I mean, really, REALLY COLD. Ugh.
This could have contributed to something amusing that occurred in one of the aforementioned construction zones.
You know those electronic signs that the authoritah puts up around construction zones to advise drivers of crap? Well, on one stretch of highway, Silver and I counted at least six of these things, and every one advised us individually of a different speed in the construction zone. And no two consecutive signs stated the same speed! Either someone had fun hacking into the system, or the cold caused some snafus, 'cause the first sign stated, "Speed limit 49 ahead." WTF? 49? The next one said 47, followed by 49 a couple times, then 46, then the last sign said, "Speed limit 38 ahead." Weird. Especially because the only non-electric speed limit sign in the entire construction zone indicated that the speed limit was in fact 55.
Oh, well. At least Silver and I got some lulz out of it! We arrived at my wonderful friend's house and got a quick nap in before it was time to drive Silver to the airport. Having such good friends ROCKS! I also had the opportunity to eat at Cracker Barrel for the first time EVAR (weird, I know!). They certainly cook a bang-up breakfast! Finally I hit the road again and made it back home in around three hours.
Anyhoo, that's my weekend wrap-up. Tomorrow I have some training at our spa location in Plano, and my work schedule for next weekend is already shaping up nicely.
Also, a mini-blogmeet is in the works for next Friday. As soon as arrangements are set in stone, I'll share the details!
Hope y'all have a good week!
Thursday, January 07, 2010
You're shitting me, right?!
I happened to mention to my friend AD the issues I've been having getting my dogs to, *ahem*, defecate in a timely fashion.
It's been cold, it's been damp or drizzling, snowing or windy, or a combination thereof, and my dogs tuck their tails in to keep their nethers protected. I walk them around and around the yard, freezing my own ass off, until I finally give up and head back inside to the warmth. They just DON'T want to go, which has led to them pooping inside the house in the middle of the night.
Now AD used to train dogs, it was his business, so normally I'd trust any advice he could give me about dogs. However, AD is also a supreme practical joker and all-around smartass, so when he told me to dampen a matchstick and shove it up my dog's butt, I questioned his motives and my sanity.
I finally broke down yesterday, since I still had some casino matchbooks in my purse (it's always helpful to have matches on hand, since you never know when you might need to start a fire), and tried out this trick.
Unbelievable. Within 30 seconds, both my dogs were squatting and taking care of business.
No more stress, no more worries about them sneaking off and pooping right in front of my roommate's bedroom door (yes, one of them did this a few nights ago, and guess what my roommate stepped in first thing in the morning?) *facepalm*
So, thanks, Ambulance Driver, font of obscure, poop-related knowledge!
I can rest easy now, both in the knowledge that my dogs won't crap in the house, and in the fact that you were NOT shitting me, pun absolutely intended!
Doesn't mean I didn't google it, first chance I had today! ;-)
The Matchstick Trick
It's been cold, it's been damp or drizzling, snowing or windy, or a combination thereof, and my dogs tuck their tails in to keep their nethers protected. I walk them around and around the yard, freezing my own ass off, until I finally give up and head back inside to the warmth. They just DON'T want to go, which has led to them pooping inside the house in the middle of the night.
Now AD used to train dogs, it was his business, so normally I'd trust any advice he could give me about dogs. However, AD is also a supreme practical joker and all-around smartass, so when he told me to dampen a matchstick and shove it up my dog's butt, I questioned his motives and my sanity.
I finally broke down yesterday, since I still had some casino matchbooks in my purse (it's always helpful to have matches on hand, since you never know when you might need to start a fire), and tried out this trick.
Unbelievable. Within 30 seconds, both my dogs were squatting and taking care of business.
No more stress, no more worries about them sneaking off and pooping right in front of my roommate's bedroom door (yes, one of them did this a few nights ago, and guess what my roommate stepped in first thing in the morning?) *facepalm*
So, thanks, Ambulance Driver, font of obscure, poop-related knowledge!
I can rest easy now, both in the knowledge that my dogs won't crap in the house, and in the fact that you were NOT shitting me, pun absolutely intended!
Doesn't mean I didn't google it, first chance I had today! ;-)
The Matchstick Trick
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Things I love about living in rural Texas...
-The peace and quiet.
-How I can see all the stars and constellations at night.
-Hearing roosters crowing in the morning.
-That my boots get mucky enough I have to take them off as soon as I enter the house.
-Noticing kitty paw-prints all over my car.
-That Harley has made friends with at least one of the barn cats, who loves to rub herself against him as he sniffs her.
-Seeing cattle and horses on a daily basis. Actually, having cattle and horses to either side of my house!
-Hearing coyotes howling at night, sounding like wolves...and hearing the neighbor's donkeys braying defiantly in reply.
-Seeing green grass, even in winter.
-Christmas wreaths on the front of big-ass pick-up trucks.
-How friendly and helpful everyone is.
-Seeing cows grazing right next to an adult video store.
-Passing the "Northfork Ranch"...LOL
-The Red River
-Seeing cardinals every day.
-Passing a stretch of country road lined with trees, which seems to be the territory of a very large raptor of some sort, since I see it perched in one or the other of the trees almost every day.
-Saying "Y'all". :D
-The wonderful library and the lovely people who work there.
-The sunrises and sunsets.
-Oncoming traffic stopping to let me make a left turn (UNHEARD of in Las Vegas!).
-Really cheap auto insurance.
And finally:
-IT'S NOT LAS VEGAS!!!!
-How I can see all the stars and constellations at night.
-Hearing roosters crowing in the morning.
-That my boots get mucky enough I have to take them off as soon as I enter the house.
-Noticing kitty paw-prints all over my car.
-That Harley has made friends with at least one of the barn cats, who loves to rub herself against him as he sniffs her.
-Seeing cattle and horses on a daily basis. Actually, having cattle and horses to either side of my house!
-Hearing coyotes howling at night, sounding like wolves...and hearing the neighbor's donkeys braying defiantly in reply.
-Seeing green grass, even in winter.
-Christmas wreaths on the front of big-ass pick-up trucks.
-How friendly and helpful everyone is.
-Seeing cows grazing right next to an adult video store.
-Passing the "Northfork Ranch"...LOL
-The Red River
-Seeing cardinals every day.
-Passing a stretch of country road lined with trees, which seems to be the territory of a very large raptor of some sort, since I see it perched in one or the other of the trees almost every day.
-Saying "Y'all". :D
-The wonderful library and the lovely people who work there.
-The sunrises and sunsets.
-Oncoming traffic stopping to let me make a left turn (UNHEARD of in Las Vegas!).
-Really cheap auto insurance.
And finally:
-IT'S NOT LAS VEGAS!!!!
Haiku Time
Yes, it's that time again! I've woefully neglected Sparrow's weekly haiku contest, due to the whole moving half-way across the country thing, but I luckily made it this week!
So, go! Write haiku and submit them to the contest, it's for a good cause. You only have until 10 PM EASTERN to finish it, so don't dilly-dally!
So, go! Write haiku and submit them to the contest, it's for a good cause. You only have until 10 PM EASTERN to finish it, so don't dilly-dally!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Thanks
I owe thanks to so many people, I'm not sure where to begin. Well, I guess I should begin at the beginning, right?
Thanks to the wonderful FarmFamily in Colorado, and all the attendees at Blogorado in early November, who showed me what it's like to spend time with true, like-minded friends.
Thanks to Gay_Cynic, who mercilessly and relentlessly pummeled me with logic on our drive back to Las Vegas from Colorado. He made me realize that moving to Texas was not just feasible, but NECESSARY.
Thanks to my miserable, moody jerk-of-a-roommate in Las Vegas, who made moving out that much more attractive.
Thanks to all my friends and colleagues in Las Vegas, who didn't say I was crazy, but rather encouraged me to follow my dream and get the hell out of Sin City.
Thanks to my daughter Silver, who after a brief moment of fury at my decision, backed me up 100% and helped me move.
The most thanks go to my anonymous Knight in Shining Armor, who oh, so generously accompanied us on our cross-country trek, while putting up with driving the beast of a rental truck, dealing with my traumatized and occasionally ill-mannered pups, and the sniping that's common between mothers and their know-it-all teenage offspring.
Thank you, all you wonderful people!!!
*mwah*
Thanks to the wonderful FarmFamily in Colorado, and all the attendees at Blogorado in early November, who showed me what it's like to spend time with true, like-minded friends.
Thanks to Gay_Cynic, who mercilessly and relentlessly pummeled me with logic on our drive back to Las Vegas from Colorado. He made me realize that moving to Texas was not just feasible, but NECESSARY.
Thanks to my miserable, moody jerk-of-a-roommate in Las Vegas, who made moving out that much more attractive.
Thanks to all my friends and colleagues in Las Vegas, who didn't say I was crazy, but rather encouraged me to follow my dream and get the hell out of Sin City.
Thanks to my daughter Silver, who after a brief moment of fury at my decision, backed me up 100% and helped me move.
The most thanks go to my anonymous Knight in Shining Armor, who oh, so generously accompanied us on our cross-country trek, while putting up with driving the beast of a rental truck, dealing with my traumatized and occasionally ill-mannered pups, and the sniping that's common between mothers and their know-it-all teenage offspring.
Thank you, all you wonderful people!!!
*mwah*
Houston...
we have a problem.
Somehow I don't think I'll be able to walk my dogs here:
Sorry, this just tickled my funny bone! This pic is from our first night on the road, in Flagstaff. They'd had a foot and a half of snow the week before. Luckily, we had great weather the entire trip.
Somehow I don't think I'll be able to walk my dogs here:
Sorry, this just tickled my funny bone! This pic is from our first night on the road, in Flagstaff. They'd had a foot and a half of snow the week before. Luckily, we had great weather the entire trip.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Farewell, Las Vegas!
'Cause I'm outta here!
No regrets.
TEXAS, here I come!
I have no idea when I'll be able to get online, and no clue about my eventual internet access in my new home, so it'll be catch as catch can.
As a final token of my love for Las Vegas, I give you the smoke shop I always marveled at, the shop whose proprietor for the longest time I was sure was named "Huka", and you'll see why...
Ah, Vegas...you gotta love it!
No regrets.
TEXAS, here I come!
I have no idea when I'll be able to get online, and no clue about my eventual internet access in my new home, so it'll be catch as catch can.
As a final token of my love for Las Vegas, I give you the smoke shop I always marveled at, the shop whose proprietor for the longest time I was sure was named "Huka", and you'll see why...
Ah, Vegas...you gotta love it!
The girl is back in town...
Yay, Silver is here!!
Just in time, of course, to help me with the move. I'm so glad to see her!
Heh, she asked me if I thought she looked any older, and I said, "Nah...you still look like you're twelve!"
Hey, I'm the MOM, I get to say shit like that!
Isn't she a cutie?!
Just in time, of course, to help me with the move. I'm so glad to see her!
Heh, she asked me if I thought she looked any older, and I said, "Nah...you still look like you're twelve!"
Hey, I'm the MOM, I get to say shit like that!
Isn't she a cutie?!
Amazing.
So, Tuesday was my last day at the spa, and I had no regrets whatsoever at leaving. Most of the people who worked there with me from the beginning are long gone, having moved on to bigger and better things. (Sound familiar? ;)) Not to mention that I made a whopping $175 the entire last week I worked there.
It was a completely different story at the chiropractor's. Yesterday was my last day there, and I was very sorry to see my patients for the last time. A patient I've been massaging for months was scheduled, and since we always chat during our sessions, she knew it was my last day and that I was moving to Texas. This lady is unemployed at the moment, living with her sister, and has no car. She instead rides her bike all over the valley, taking enormous risks (in my opinion), since this town is not exactly bicyclist friendly! She's also a full-time student, and for obvious reasons, she's extremely short of cash. After the massage was over, I went into the room to change the sheets and found 15 one-dollar bills and a mound of change on the table, underneath her discarded gown. I was so touched that she'd literally emptied her pockets for me. It's nice to know that such a special lady is rooting for me and appreciates me!
One of my previously discharged patients called the office wanting to know who was there, since she had some home-made pomegranate jelly to give to everyone, and when she heard it was my last day and that we'd had a no-show, she raced over to fill the slot and paid out of her own pocket, her insurance benefits having been exhausted already. Oh, and I got a jar of jelly, too. :)
She also asked me, if I had time, to come over to her house this evening to massage her and her daughter, and I was glad to do so. Not only is she super-nice and one of my very favorite patients, but every little bit of money is going to help me with my moving expenses.
I'm going to miss these special people, but hope to still stay in touch. (H'ray for the intarwebz!)
Tomorrow I load up the rental truck (which I'm picking up at 7:30 AM...GAH!) and hit the road toward my new life.
I can't wait to get started.
It was a completely different story at the chiropractor's. Yesterday was my last day there, and I was very sorry to see my patients for the last time. A patient I've been massaging for months was scheduled, and since we always chat during our sessions, she knew it was my last day and that I was moving to Texas. This lady is unemployed at the moment, living with her sister, and has no car. She instead rides her bike all over the valley, taking enormous risks (in my opinion), since this town is not exactly bicyclist friendly! She's also a full-time student, and for obvious reasons, she's extremely short of cash. After the massage was over, I went into the room to change the sheets and found 15 one-dollar bills and a mound of change on the table, underneath her discarded gown. I was so touched that she'd literally emptied her pockets for me. It's nice to know that such a special lady is rooting for me and appreciates me!
One of my previously discharged patients called the office wanting to know who was there, since she had some home-made pomegranate jelly to give to everyone, and when she heard it was my last day and that we'd had a no-show, she raced over to fill the slot and paid out of her own pocket, her insurance benefits having been exhausted already. Oh, and I got a jar of jelly, too. :)
She also asked me, if I had time, to come over to her house this evening to massage her and her daughter, and I was glad to do so. Not only is she super-nice and one of my very favorite patients, but every little bit of money is going to help me with my moving expenses.
I'm going to miss these special people, but hope to still stay in touch. (H'ray for the intarwebz!)
Tomorrow I load up the rental truck (which I'm picking up at 7:30 AM...GAH!) and hit the road toward my new life.
I can't wait to get started.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
La Cucaracha
I don't know if I've mentioned this, but though creepy-crawlies in general don't disturb me in the least, I'm quite phobic when it comes to the dreaded, disgusting, disease-bearing COCKROACH.
I was preparing for a Diamond massage the other day, which is our most exclusive, expensive service. It involves a full-body scrub (exfoliation), plus a massage incorporating Swedish, deep tissue, and hot stone modalities.
I opened one of my cupboards to check how many sheets I had, and froze...as did the heinous cockroach sitting on the topmost sheet in the stack.
Now, when I say "phobic", I mean that I've mostly overcome the severe phobia I had as a child. I don't scream anymore, or gag, or jump on top of the nearest chair, table, bed, etc. Nor do I run away and cower in a corner, whimpering pathetically. (All behaviors which I have displayed in the past.)
Instead, as I felt my heart rate ratchet up while I started hyperventilating, I sprang into action. I HAD to kill this motherfucker, before the service started, and without alerting the guests on the other side of the door that anything at all was amiss. I slowly backed away, even as the noisome critter impudently twitched its antennae at me.
Bugspray! Where was the bugspray? Did we even HAVE any bugspray? Apparently not, I decided after frantically searching the storeroom. Foiled, I decided to return to the scene of the insectoid crime and dispatch the miscreant using more forceful measures...i.e. my shoe.
I pushed the table aside, so the bug couldn't run underneath, then, holding one of my shoes aloft, I started wildly pulling sheets out of the cupboard and onto the floor. Hey, they were soiled already, so who cares?
There it went! Unfortunately, it scurried into the next cabinet over, where all the towels and face cradle covers were neatly stacked. Great, now I'd have to replace all of those, too.
All this time, the clock was ticking down, every second bringing me closer to the moment when I'd have to collect my client from the lounge area.
I finally gave up, after emptying the towel cabinet, too. The vile critter had obviously scurried back into whatever hell spawned it, leaving behind droppings as evidence of its miserable existence. Droppings *I* would now have to clean up. Blech.
After hastily disposing of the soiled sheets and towels (and the poop, never forget the poop), I went and got my client and started the service. This was the longest hour and a half of my life, if you disregard the times I was in labor, of course.
The whole time I was massaging and scrubbing the nice lady who'd forked over a small fortune for this privilege, I kept seeing shadows scurrying out of the corner of my eye. You have to remember that the room is extremely dark, as well...this contributes to the client's relaxation. It was doing NOTHING for my blood pressure, though. Any time my ankle brushed against one of the dangling edges of a sheet, I imagined the skittering legs of the roach depositing germs in their wake. It was all I could do to at least maintain the semblance of calm. I had nightmare visions of the cockroach crawling ON MY CLIENT during the service.
I wanted to cry.
Finally, after about three eternities, we were through. I couldn't hustle the client out of the room fast enough!
I looked around my treatment room carefully: No roach.
I restocked my cupboards and went about my business, albeit with one eye always scanning the floors and walls carefully, wanting to make sure my nemesis didn't take me by surprise again.
It wasn't until the next day the villain showed its ugly face again, cheekily sitting on top of the clean sheets in the cupboard, causing me to experience serious deja vu.
Luckily, on this day I could employ my secret weapon: my favorite spa attendant, Maura! She who has no fear of cockroaches, and was blase about smashing it with MY shoe (hey, it was the least I could do, since she was willing to kill it, to let her borrow my shoe to do so), after I had rendered it a bit incapacitated but not dead by judiciously employing Lysol spray in an attempt to kill the damn thing.
My foe finally vanquished, I tidied up my room, new sheets AGAIN, and prayed I'd not have another encounter with an evil cucaracha.
You hear that, Cockroaches? Stay away from Christina LMT!
I was preparing for a Diamond massage the other day, which is our most exclusive, expensive service. It involves a full-body scrub (exfoliation), plus a massage incorporating Swedish, deep tissue, and hot stone modalities.
I opened one of my cupboards to check how many sheets I had, and froze...as did the heinous cockroach sitting on the topmost sheet in the stack.
Now, when I say "phobic", I mean that I've mostly overcome the severe phobia I had as a child. I don't scream anymore, or gag, or jump on top of the nearest chair, table, bed, etc. Nor do I run away and cower in a corner, whimpering pathetically. (All behaviors which I have displayed in the past.)
Instead, as I felt my heart rate ratchet up while I started hyperventilating, I sprang into action. I HAD to kill this motherfucker, before the service started, and without alerting the guests on the other side of the door that anything at all was amiss. I slowly backed away, even as the noisome critter impudently twitched its antennae at me.
Bugspray! Where was the bugspray? Did we even HAVE any bugspray? Apparently not, I decided after frantically searching the storeroom. Foiled, I decided to return to the scene of the insectoid crime and dispatch the miscreant using more forceful measures...i.e. my shoe.
I pushed the table aside, so the bug couldn't run underneath, then, holding one of my shoes aloft, I started wildly pulling sheets out of the cupboard and onto the floor. Hey, they were soiled already, so who cares?
There it went! Unfortunately, it scurried into the next cabinet over, where all the towels and face cradle covers were neatly stacked. Great, now I'd have to replace all of those, too.
All this time, the clock was ticking down, every second bringing me closer to the moment when I'd have to collect my client from the lounge area.
I finally gave up, after emptying the towel cabinet, too. The vile critter had obviously scurried back into whatever hell spawned it, leaving behind droppings as evidence of its miserable existence. Droppings *I* would now have to clean up. Blech.
After hastily disposing of the soiled sheets and towels (and the poop, never forget the poop), I went and got my client and started the service. This was the longest hour and a half of my life, if you disregard the times I was in labor, of course.
The whole time I was massaging and scrubbing the nice lady who'd forked over a small fortune for this privilege, I kept seeing shadows scurrying out of the corner of my eye. You have to remember that the room is extremely dark, as well...this contributes to the client's relaxation. It was doing NOTHING for my blood pressure, though. Any time my ankle brushed against one of the dangling edges of a sheet, I imagined the skittering legs of the roach depositing germs in their wake. It was all I could do to at least maintain the semblance of calm. I had nightmare visions of the cockroach crawling ON MY CLIENT during the service.
I wanted to cry.
Finally, after about three eternities, we were through. I couldn't hustle the client out of the room fast enough!
I looked around my treatment room carefully: No roach.
I restocked my cupboards and went about my business, albeit with one eye always scanning the floors and walls carefully, wanting to make sure my nemesis didn't take me by surprise again.
It wasn't until the next day the villain showed its ugly face again, cheekily sitting on top of the clean sheets in the cupboard, causing me to experience serious deja vu.
Luckily, on this day I could employ my secret weapon: my favorite spa attendant, Maura! She who has no fear of cockroaches, and was blase about smashing it with MY shoe (hey, it was the least I could do, since she was willing to kill it, to let her borrow my shoe to do so), after I had rendered it a bit incapacitated but not dead by judiciously employing Lysol spray in an attempt to kill the damn thing.
My foe finally vanquished, I tidied up my room, new sheets AGAIN, and prayed I'd not have another encounter with an evil cucaracha.
You hear that, Cockroaches? Stay away from Christina LMT!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Yee-HAH!
My brand spankin' new Massage Therapy License for the State of Texas arrived in the mail today!
*whew*
I'm so relieved...now I can get right to work as soon as I get there!
Sorry for the ghetto "photoshop", I didn't want to waste time tinkering with the pic!
*whew*
I'm so relieved...now I can get right to work as soon as I get there!
Sorry for the ghetto "photoshop", I didn't want to waste time tinkering with the pic!
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha
An interesting canvas...
I keep my car parked in the (tiny) driveway of my roomie's house. Yesterday morning, I awoke to find my car encased in a lovely layer of ice. I luckily have a rear windshield defroster, and I scraped enough of the front windshield with my gloved hand to enable me to drive to the stop 'n' rob to get my morning decaf coffee.
Today, as I was driving away from my veterinarian, I glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed some writing in the dusty residue on my rear windshield. Some witty person had written GLOBAL WARMING, MY ASS!!!! on it at some point during yesterday's icy morning.
I larfed and larfed!
I keep my car parked in the (tiny) driveway of my roomie's house. Yesterday morning, I awoke to find my car encased in a lovely layer of ice. I luckily have a rear windshield defroster, and I scraped enough of the front windshield with my gloved hand to enable me to drive to the stop 'n' rob to get my morning decaf coffee.
Today, as I was driving away from my veterinarian, I glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed some writing in the dusty residue on my rear windshield. Some witty person had written GLOBAL WARMING, MY ASS!!!! on it at some point during yesterday's icy morning.
I larfed and larfed!
Sunday, December 06, 2009
'Nother Update
So...I've found a place to live!
Actually, I found it via Craigslist the Saturday after Thanksgiving. :)
I'm renting a room from a gentleman who lives in exactly in the area I wanted to move to, so YAY!
He lives in a large home on several acres of land, raises sheep, rabbits, and chickens, and has a 2,000 sq.ft. garden in his backyard that he could use some help with. Hey, the price is right, and if I get to eat the produce from that garden, of COURSE I'm going to help! I told David (my future landlord/roomie) that as long as he showed me what to do, I'd be glad to help out. Oh, and kids and pets are welcome...he has plenty of room. (Yes, I googled him and checked the sex offender registry, give me some credit!) Plus, I do have good instincts about people.
In other news, I have a part-time (weekend) job waiting for me, too! At a brand-new spa about a half-hour (freeway) drive from Newtown. That was a complete shot in the dark, btw. They hadn't advertised an opening, I just googled local spas and emailed them with my resume attached. Then they contacted ME. Life is good.
Silver and I roll out of Vegas on Friday the 18th of December, and I do NOT plan on looking back.
Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.
Actually, I found it via Craigslist the Saturday after Thanksgiving. :)
I'm renting a room from a gentleman who lives in exactly in the area I wanted to move to, so YAY!
He lives in a large home on several acres of land, raises sheep, rabbits, and chickens, and has a 2,000 sq.ft. garden in his backyard that he could use some help with. Hey, the price is right, and if I get to eat the produce from that garden, of COURSE I'm going to help! I told David (my future landlord/roomie) that as long as he showed me what to do, I'd be glad to help out. Oh, and kids and pets are welcome...he has plenty of room. (Yes, I googled him and checked the sex offender registry, give me some credit!) Plus, I do have good instincts about people.
In other news, I have a part-time (weekend) job waiting for me, too! At a brand-new spa about a half-hour (freeway) drive from Newtown. That was a complete shot in the dark, btw. They hadn't advertised an opening, I just googled local spas and emailed them with my resume attached. Then they contacted ME. Life is good.
Silver and I roll out of Vegas on Friday the 18th of December, and I do NOT plan on looking back.
Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
You know...
...you live in a questionable neighborhood when one of your neighbors is breaking pieces of styrofoam off of a box to use as "snow" for her outside Christmas display.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Update:
First off, I called the Texas Board of Massage Therapy today and my application HAS BEEN APPROVED!!!
Now I just have to wait for them to print the actual license and mail it to me. :D
Second, my lawyer, Denise (name redacted), received the medical billing statements from the opposing attorney and sent them on to Darci at the surrogacy agency, along with a sternly worded email. Something to the effect of: take care of this, or we'll be forced to sue you, and NOBODY wants that...
I'm having a good day.
Now I just have to wait for them to print the actual license and mail it to me. :D
Second, my lawyer, Denise (name redacted), received the medical billing statements from the opposing attorney and sent them on to Darci at the surrogacy agency, along with a sternly worded email. Something to the effect of: take care of this, or we'll be forced to sue you, and NOBODY wants that...
I'm having a good day.
Two weeks...
since I switched to decaf coffee. And I feel great! I'm sleeping better, except when Lourdes the 100 pound dog shares my double bed...
No headaches, the crankiness has subsided, and my mind is clearer now.
I've gotta keep this up!
No headaches, the crankiness has subsided, and my mind is clearer now.
I've gotta keep this up!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Uh. Mah. Gah.
The spa has been proactive and has already hired my replacement, a young lady I've known for a while, by sight anyway, since she worked as a dealer on the casino floor. Alecia is a recent graduate of my alma mater, NSMT, and is a welcome addition to the spa.
We were pretty much done with work by early afternoon, and after futzing around a bit, I asked if she'd like to do a trade.
Oh. My. God.
She's good. She's so very, very good. I've been in pain for the past few days, my back and neck giving me hella problems...Alecia pounded the shit out of me, and I feel better than I have in months. MONTHS. I had some really bad trigger points, and she killed 'em, and not with kindness, with extreme prejudice, rather.
Of course, I'll probably be bruised tomorrow, but it was so worth it.
Thank you, Alecia! I'll get you next Saturday!
We were pretty much done with work by early afternoon, and after futzing around a bit, I asked if she'd like to do a trade.
Oh. My. God.
She's good. She's so very, very good. I've been in pain for the past few days, my back and neck giving me hella problems...Alecia pounded the shit out of me, and I feel better than I have in months. MONTHS. I had some really bad trigger points, and she killed 'em, and not with kindness, with extreme prejudice, rather.
Of course, I'll probably be bruised tomorrow, but it was so worth it.
Thank you, Alecia! I'll get you next Saturday!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving...
have a GOOD one, Folks!
:D
UPDATE:
Just wanted to add that I'm most definitely thankful for the wonderful readers I have...you make it worthwhile for me to try to come up with my scribblings!
:D
UPDATE:
Just wanted to add that I'm most definitely thankful for the wonderful readers I have...you make it worthwhile for me to try to come up with my scribblings!
Sorry...
about the lack of posting, but I'm going slightly insane trying to get everything together for my move. Finding a job and a place to stay are high on my priority list as well. Thanks for your patience, I know my blog has been teh suxxor lately.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Awkward...
is glancing down during the scalp massage to find your client's eyes wide open, staring at you...
Overheard in the Spa
Me (in the shower): Maura? Could you hand me a razor, please?
(a few moments later)
Maura (handing the razor over the shower stall door): Did you want me to shave you, too?
Me: ...
Me: Uh, no...it's just my armpits, that's not much fun.
Maura: Okay.
(a few moments later)
Maura (handing the razor over the shower stall door): Did you want me to shave you, too?
Me: ...
Me: Uh, no...it's just my armpits, that's not much fun.
Maura: Okay.
Fear and Loathing
The epiphany I had on my drive back from Blogorado was facilitated by my friend GayCynic, who pummeled me about the head and shoulders with logic.
I'm not happy living in Las Vegas, and haven't been for a long time. Now that my daughter is off to college, I really have nothing holding me here.
So I have decided to move to Texas, home of the bigger and better!
I have many, many blogfriends who live there, who have already been helping me out with information, tips, hints, offers to check potential rentals out, offers to let me stay for a few days when I get there, and the list goes on and on. It's so good to have friends.
I'm moving the week before Christmas, I've already given notice at both of my jobs, and have been assured of receiving letters of recommendation. My application for my Texas massage therapy license went off by certified mail a week from yesterday, and I got the little green postcard in the mail confirming receipt a few days ago.
I've also been applying for full-time jobs at various local hospitals, since I do have a lot of experience in the medical field. I'll need to be making money right off the bat to pay my bills, and while I certainly want to build up a private massage practice, things like that take time (and money), two things I'm not exactly blessed with currently.
So, we'll see how things go. I might have help for my move, I might not. I might rent a truck or trailer, or I might shove all my crap into my storage unit and move bare-bones. Silver will be here on her winter break to help me, but we still have to get her back to Vegas in mid-January to catch her flight back to North Dakota. Maybe I'll do another roadtrip!
Oh, my poor car...;)
Anyway, life is too short to stay somewhere you're miserable, even if you do have a job. Friends are more important. I'm pursuing happiness, Peeps! And it feels great!
And a wee bit terrifying.
Wish me luck.
I'm not happy living in Las Vegas, and haven't been for a long time. Now that my daughter is off to college, I really have nothing holding me here.
So I have decided to move to Texas, home of the bigger and better!
I have many, many blogfriends who live there, who have already been helping me out with information, tips, hints, offers to check potential rentals out, offers to let me stay for a few days when I get there, and the list goes on and on. It's so good to have friends.
I'm moving the week before Christmas, I've already given notice at both of my jobs, and have been assured of receiving letters of recommendation. My application for my Texas massage therapy license went off by certified mail a week from yesterday, and I got the little green postcard in the mail confirming receipt a few days ago.
I've also been applying for full-time jobs at various local hospitals, since I do have a lot of experience in the medical field. I'll need to be making money right off the bat to pay my bills, and while I certainly want to build up a private massage practice, things like that take time (and money), two things I'm not exactly blessed with currently.
So, we'll see how things go. I might have help for my move, I might not. I might rent a truck or trailer, or I might shove all my crap into my storage unit and move bare-bones. Silver will be here on her winter break to help me, but we still have to get her back to Vegas in mid-January to catch her flight back to North Dakota. Maybe I'll do another roadtrip!
Oh, my poor car...;)
Anyway, life is too short to stay somewhere you're miserable, even if you do have a job. Friends are more important. I'm pursuing happiness, Peeps! And it feels great!
And a wee bit terrifying.
Wish me luck.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Two more things I remember about Blogorado:
First, my face getting tired from smiling, nay GRINNING so much.
And second, how much I LOVE the smell of gunpowder.
And second, how much I LOVE the smell of gunpowder.
Another tip for massage clients:
When I tell you before the massage, "Undress to your level of comfort," that doesn't mean you can take your underwear off half-way through the massage. Got it? Good.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Haiku
Don't forget to try your hand at Sparrow's Haiku Contest!
It benefits our military service folk serving in harm's way. So go ahead, participate...what? Are you chicken?!
Bok-bok-bok...
C'mon! Don't be scared! It's EASY!
5syllables
7syllables
5syllables
Piece of cake.
:D
It benefits our military service folk serving in harm's way. So go ahead, participate...what? Are you chicken?!
Bok-bok-bok...
C'mon! Don't be scared! It's EASY!
5syllables
7syllables
5syllables
Piece of cake.
:D
Sunday, November 15, 2009
What I Did Last Weekend (with PICTURES!):
Met many imaginary friends, except they were REAL!
One of them was a Man in a Kilt!!
(I'd put more pics of my friends up, but a lot of them are camera-shy...)
Had LOTS of guns in my trunk, and none of them were mine:
Went to a library and a museum:
Yes, that's the most dangerous librarian in the world.
Ate TONS of delicious food, but was too busy eating to get any pictures...:D
Went horseback riding:
Began the process of learning how to shoot (because I have a long way to go, Baby! But it was a very good start.):
I even had ammo in my back pocket in this one, LOL.
Fired an Evil Black Rifle™:
One among many others I fired, Yay!
Told people where to go:
I kid...I don't even remember why I was pointing, but it's a good picture!
Met the cutest little girl I've known since MY girls were little, and my supremely stylish and and always classy friend, Phlegm Fatale:
(She can even make a Porta-John look like an acceptable prop.)
Narrowly avoided hitting a HUGE deer (I was in the vehicle RIGHT behind this truck):
But I still helped desecrate the deer carcass:
And even found the time to blog a little:
Basically, I had the best vacation I've ever had, meeting the nicest people I've ever known.
Thank you all. I'll be there next year, with bells on.
One of them was a Man in a Kilt!!
(I'd put more pics of my friends up, but a lot of them are camera-shy...)
Had LOTS of guns in my trunk, and none of them were mine:
Went to a library and a museum:
Yes, that's the most dangerous librarian in the world.
Ate TONS of delicious food, but was too busy eating to get any pictures...:D
Went horseback riding:
Began the process of learning how to shoot (because I have a long way to go, Baby! But it was a very good start.):
I even had ammo in my back pocket in this one, LOL.
Fired an Evil Black Rifle™:
One among many others I fired, Yay!
Told people where to go:
I kid...I don't even remember why I was pointing, but it's a good picture!
Met the cutest little girl I've known since MY girls were little, and my supremely stylish and and always classy friend, Phlegm Fatale:
(She can even make a Porta-John look like an acceptable prop.)
Narrowly avoided hitting a HUGE deer (I was in the vehicle RIGHT behind this truck):
But I still helped desecrate the deer carcass:
And even found the time to blog a little:
Basically, I had the best vacation I've ever had, meeting the nicest people I've ever known.
Thank you all. I'll be there next year, with bells on.
Friday, November 13, 2009
The way to a girl's heart is through the gun range...
This is my AAR (aka "after action report"), and it's gonna be simple, because honestly? I might not be quite as shiny or squeaky, but I'm still a n00b.
Any errors in spelling, etc. are mine, I'm going off smudged pencil on a tiny, spiral notebook. Don't blame my teachers, who were nothing but awesome: patient, kind, thorough.
One of my best memories of being at the range is hitting the half-sized silhouette at 250 yards, turning to LawDog and exclaiming, "I HIT IT!" Only to have him reply with a gentle smile, "Of course you did."
THAT'S the kind of teacher who will make any student shine.
Thanks are due to Aepilotjim, Ambulance Driver, Old NFO, and of course the aforementioned LawDog.
Thanks also to all the cool kids who let me play with their toys! So nice of them to share.
Okay, I'm going to list the firearms I got to shoot, with my own little cryptic notes. I hope this makes sense. And I have no pictures yet, but I will eventually.
At Blogorado, I fired the following weapons:
-Bersa Thunder .380 (yes, the famous one)
Not to blaspheme, but I only felt this was okay, possibly because I have HUGE hands for a woman.
-Springfield 1911 MilSpec (this one was Jim's)
-Ruger 22/45
-Glock 17 (SQUEEEEE! I loved this. :))
-Heritage Arms Rough Rider .22 (fun!)
-Sig Mosquito .22
-Rock Island 1911 .45 ACP
-Smith & Wesson 5 screw .38
-Henry Lever Action .22 (again, FUN!)
-Single Action Rossi
-AR 15 with EoTech Sights (Meh, believe it or not)
-Citori 12 gauge shotgun (this one was FarmMom's, and I actually hit a few clays! w00t! MUCH FUN)
-Ruger Super Blackhawk .44 magnum. (Oh, my GOD. I lurved this gun! Thank you so much, Stingray! I knocked down a popper with each shot.)
-Smith & Wesson model 25 .45 Long Colt (VERY nice)
-Walther PPK (this was FarmGirl's; it was extremely cool to shoot, fit my hands well.)
-Taurus PT 140 Millennium
-Hi Standard HD Military .22 (I loved shooting this, because I finally took down my nemesis who had been taunting me all day: the full soda can. I hit that sucker TWICE.)
-Taurus Judge (shoots either .45 Long Colt or .410 shotgun shells; this is FarmMom's critter killer, and it's a beast! I loved it...maybe I'm a (gun) size queen?)
-Ruger Mark III 22/45 (my notes say I liked it!)
-Bersa .45 (ditto, this one was Gay_Cynic's, thanks, G_C!)
-M14 (kicked like a FUCKING MULE, but I didn't bruise. I was sorta/kinda hitting the target, and that's all that matters to me!)
DUNN, DUNN, DUNN:
-M24 in .308 caliber (hit a barrel that was 970 yards away, 3 out of 5 shots, and it was WINDY. Don't piss me off. ;) Funny thing about this is, so that I wouldn't feel intimidated, Jim told me I was shooting at the one that was 500 yards out. I only found out last night that I was shooting at the FARTHER one. Yeah, he's evil like that, and he admits it!)
Well, that's all, Folks. I'm sure I forgot a few guns here or there, I was so excited it was bound to happen. I'll have you know that I always waited until I was off-range and unarmed to do any squeeing or happy dances. Safety trumps squeeing, always.
I've definitely found a new hobby, certainly an activity I love.
I also have to remind myself to breathe...I was getting a bit out of breath from excitement, and from unconsciously holding my breath while aiming and firing. No worries, I'll get better!
Oh, and I hit the bull's eye on my first target with my third shot. Just sayin'...
(Oh, I know: Beginner's luck!)
Any errors in spelling, etc. are mine, I'm going off smudged pencil on a tiny, spiral notebook. Don't blame my teachers, who were nothing but awesome: patient, kind, thorough.
One of my best memories of being at the range is hitting the half-sized silhouette at 250 yards, turning to LawDog and exclaiming, "I HIT IT!" Only to have him reply with a gentle smile, "Of course you did."
THAT'S the kind of teacher who will make any student shine.
Thanks are due to Aepilotjim, Ambulance Driver, Old NFO, and of course the aforementioned LawDog.
Thanks also to all the cool kids who let me play with their toys! So nice of them to share.
Okay, I'm going to list the firearms I got to shoot, with my own little cryptic notes. I hope this makes sense. And I have no pictures yet, but I will eventually.
At Blogorado, I fired the following weapons:
-Bersa Thunder .380 (yes, the famous one)
Not to blaspheme, but I only felt this was okay, possibly because I have HUGE hands for a woman.
-Springfield 1911 MilSpec (this one was Jim's)
-Ruger 22/45
-Glock 17 (SQUEEEEE! I loved this. :))
-Heritage Arms Rough Rider .22 (fun!)
-Sig Mosquito .22
-Rock Island 1911 .45 ACP
-Smith & Wesson 5 screw .38
-Henry Lever Action .22 (again, FUN!)
-Single Action Rossi
-AR 15 with EoTech Sights (Meh, believe it or not)
-Citori 12 gauge shotgun (this one was FarmMom's, and I actually hit a few clays! w00t! MUCH FUN)
-Ruger Super Blackhawk .44 magnum. (Oh, my GOD. I lurved this gun! Thank you so much, Stingray! I knocked down a popper with each shot.)
-Smith & Wesson model 25 .45 Long Colt (VERY nice)
-Walther PPK (this was FarmGirl's; it was extremely cool to shoot, fit my hands well.)
-Taurus PT 140 Millennium
-Hi Standard HD Military .22 (I loved shooting this, because I finally took down my nemesis who had been taunting me all day: the full soda can. I hit that sucker TWICE.)
-Taurus Judge (shoots either .45 Long Colt or .410 shotgun shells; this is FarmMom's critter killer, and it's a beast! I loved it...maybe I'm a (gun) size queen?)
-Ruger Mark III 22/45 (my notes say I liked it!)
-Bersa .45 (ditto, this one was Gay_Cynic's, thanks, G_C!)
-M14 (kicked like a FUCKING MULE, but I didn't bruise. I was sorta/kinda hitting the target, and that's all that matters to me!)
DUNN, DUNN, DUNN:
-M24 in .308 caliber (hit a barrel that was 970 yards away, 3 out of 5 shots, and it was WINDY. Don't piss me off. ;) Funny thing about this is, so that I wouldn't feel intimidated, Jim told me I was shooting at the one that was 500 yards out. I only found out last night that I was shooting at the FARTHER one. Yeah, he's evil like that, and he admits it!)
Well, that's all, Folks. I'm sure I forgot a few guns here or there, I was so excited it was bound to happen. I'll have you know that I always waited until I was off-range and unarmed to do any squeeing or happy dances. Safety trumps squeeing, always.
I've definitely found a new hobby, certainly an activity I love.
I also have to remind myself to breathe...I was getting a bit out of breath from excitement, and from unconsciously holding my breath while aiming and firing. No worries, I'll get better!
Oh, and I hit the bull's eye on my first target with my third shot. Just sayin'...
(Oh, I know: Beginner's luck!)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Thank you so much for EVERYTHING,
FarmFamily!
I had the best time of my life over this past weekend. Absolutely the best.
FarmGirl and her Mom, Dad, and Mamaw are the kindest, most hospitable and generous people it has ever been my pleasure to meet.
I do not exaggerate when I say that attending Blogorado and meeting all the other bloggers was a life-altering event for me. More info will follow as I process it. I just got back into Las Vegas and I'm trying not to collapse from exhaustion before all my laundry is done.
Pics will be posted and an after-action report of all my shooty goodness as well.
Bear with me, and be patient, please!
I had the best time of my life over this past weekend. Absolutely the best.
FarmGirl and her Mom, Dad, and Mamaw are the kindest, most hospitable and generous people it has ever been my pleasure to meet.
I do not exaggerate when I say that attending Blogorado and meeting all the other bloggers was a life-altering event for me. More info will follow as I process it. I just got back into Las Vegas and I'm trying not to collapse from exhaustion before all my laundry is done.
Pics will be posted and an after-action report of all my shooty goodness as well.
Bear with me, and be patient, please!
Monday, November 09, 2009
Friday, November 06, 2009
Poetic Justice
When you go around taking pictures of people's asses, then have the audacity to POST THEM ON YOUR BLOG, you shouldn't be surprised at the outcome. Rest in Peace, Jim. It was nice knowing you, however so briefly.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
BLOGORADO!!!
I'm going to be incommunicada for a few days, my friends. One of my friends from the Gunblogger Conspiracy, FarmGirl, is hosting a shindig at her abode in Colorado...and we're calling it BLOGORADO! (Clever, no?)
Thanks to splitting travel and room costs, and the kindness of my roommate, who offered to watch my dogs for free, not to mention the overwhelming generosity of the FarmFamily in providing provender for all of us bloggers descending on their town, I'm able to attend, myself!
This is the first vacation I've ever taken, just for myself, by myself. I'm so excited, I feel like I'm leaking SQUEEEEE everywhere!
We're going to shoot many guns, big and small, ride horses, shoot the breeze, drink undoubtedly copious amounts of alcohol, and just have a blast in general.
I'll take lots of pictures, and I'll try to blog when I get the chance, internet access being rather spotty, I'm told.
The best part, by FAR, of this entire weekend is getting to meet all of my friends, IN REAL LIFE.
I'm happy. :)
Thanks to splitting travel and room costs, and the kindness of my roommate, who offered to watch my dogs for free, not to mention the overwhelming generosity of the FarmFamily in providing provender for all of us bloggers descending on their town, I'm able to attend, myself!
This is the first vacation I've ever taken, just for myself, by myself. I'm so excited, I feel like I'm leaking SQUEEEEE everywhere!
We're going to shoot many guns, big and small, ride horses, shoot the breeze, drink undoubtedly copious amounts of alcohol, and just have a blast in general.
I'll take lots of pictures, and I'll try to blog when I get the chance, internet access being rather spotty, I'm told.
The best part, by FAR, of this entire weekend is getting to meet all of my friends, IN REAL LIFE.
I'm happy. :)
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Nipped that one in the bud...
Overheard inside a treatment room:
I'm massaging an Army MP, recently returned from Iraq, and I've already thanked him for his service...
The massage is almost over, and I'm working on his left quad.
Client: (tentatively) So....I promised my buddies I'd ask you a question...
Me: (sternly) DON'T ask me for a Happy Ending! If you ask me for a Happy Ending, this massage is OVER.
Client: (in a VERY small voice) Okay.
I was laughing inside, though.
I'm massaging an Army MP, recently returned from Iraq, and I've already thanked him for his service...
The massage is almost over, and I'm working on his left quad.
Client: (tentatively) So....I promised my buddies I'd ask you a question...
Me: (sternly) DON'T ask me for a Happy Ending! If you ask me for a Happy Ending, this massage is OVER.
Client: (in a VERY small voice) Okay.
I was laughing inside, though.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Deja vu?
On Halloween, I did a massage that felt very familiar...almost like I had experienced it all before, not because of similar clients, but more because it was a comedy of errors...
It was a side-by-side massage, and I was alone at the spa, due to some people leaving early, and some calling off. We beseeched Madison from our sister property, and she was gracious enough to come to our aid.
The oddness began at the booking. It was a mother and daughter pair, and both had the same first name. I'll call them Gladys. So we had Gladys Senior and Junior, though Junior was pretty senior herself! Which meant Senior was ANCIENT. Not to mention tiny and built like a little bird.
I was massaging Junior, while Madison tackled Senior (NOT literally). The main thing I noticed about Junior was that she hadn't showered. I got a powerful pong of body odor, overlaid with perfume. Not a very pleasant combination, but I'm a professional, dangit, so I kept on truckin'. The next thing I noticed was getting a lovely scratch on my thigh, THROUGH my skirt and fishnet stockings (don't forget I was in costume, including five-inch boots!) because Junior decided against wearing her hair clip, and clipped it onto the corner of the table instead. Where it was in the perfect position to SCRATCH ME as I was coming around to that side of the table.
*sigh*
I explained to her that I was going to put her clip on the counter with her other things and proceeded to amuse Madison with my non-existent juggling skills: My hands were very oily and the plastic hair clip was therefore very slippery! Luckily I didn't drop it, though it was a close thing.
After that little interlude, everything ran smoothly. Right up until Senior shook the rafters with a tremendous, basso profundo FART. Right in Madison's face.
My head whipped around because I was so surprised, and I met Madison's gaze of horror...that was enough to set me off! I laughed (silently) so hard, my entire body was shaking, and I was supremely grateful that Junior (somehow) remained oblivious to everything. Maybe she was sleeping!
At any rate, this was the last of the unusual happenings during this massage, but they were quite enough to give me that niggling feeling of deja vu...
It was a side-by-side massage, and I was alone at the spa, due to some people leaving early, and some calling off. We beseeched Madison from our sister property, and she was gracious enough to come to our aid.
The oddness began at the booking. It was a mother and daughter pair, and both had the same first name. I'll call them Gladys. So we had Gladys Senior and Junior, though Junior was pretty senior herself! Which meant Senior was ANCIENT. Not to mention tiny and built like a little bird.
I was massaging Junior, while Madison tackled Senior (NOT literally). The main thing I noticed about Junior was that she hadn't showered. I got a powerful pong of body odor, overlaid with perfume. Not a very pleasant combination, but I'm a professional, dangit, so I kept on truckin'. The next thing I noticed was getting a lovely scratch on my thigh, THROUGH my skirt and fishnet stockings (don't forget I was in costume, including five-inch boots!) because Junior decided against wearing her hair clip, and clipped it onto the corner of the table instead. Where it was in the perfect position to SCRATCH ME as I was coming around to that side of the table.
*sigh*
I explained to her that I was going to put her clip on the counter with her other things and proceeded to amuse Madison with my non-existent juggling skills: My hands were very oily and the plastic hair clip was therefore very slippery! Luckily I didn't drop it, though it was a close thing.
After that little interlude, everything ran smoothly. Right up until Senior shook the rafters with a tremendous, basso profundo FART. Right in Madison's face.
My head whipped around because I was so surprised, and I met Madison's gaze of horror...that was enough to set me off! I laughed (silently) so hard, my entire body was shaking, and I was supremely grateful that Junior (somehow) remained oblivious to everything. Maybe she was sleeping!
At any rate, this was the last of the unusual happenings during this massage, but they were quite enough to give me that niggling feeling of deja vu...
Sunday, November 01, 2009
I LOVE this song!
I always love female rock singers, and this is a new band called Halestorm. Love 'em almost as much as Flyleaf.
Party Time!
Okay, I have several pictures from the Halloween Party last night, but first I'd like to make two observations of parties in general:
1)Drinking games are really, really boring if you are not drinking.
2)The guy who thinks he's hysterically funny, isn't. He's usually an obnoxious douche bag.
I did have fun, despite not staying very long and not drinking, I met several nice people, and I actually TALKED to them! Funny thing is, I mostly talked to a gal named Tara (another PIRATE, w00t!) about meeting people on the internet who are NOT creeps. I told her that I've met the most wonderful people online, that I feel I've found my tribe, and she just looked at me with incomprehension. She's just had bad luck, I believe.
I also saw the most incredible, clever costumes. Two young men came as Mormon missionaries, complete with bike helmets and backpacks. One of them was artfully made up to look like he'd either been in a wreck, or been beaten up. Even his shirt was torn, soiled, and bloody.
Then we had zombie Marilyn Monroe, accompanied by zombie Gilligan and zombie Skipper. Too funny! The guys were draped in seaweed, and had seashells and starfish glued to their shirts and pants. I loled!
We had three lady pirates, including myself.
Anyway, on to the pictures!
Our hostess with the mostest: Crystal
The Grim Reaper, and his flapper lady (Pete and Maura)
My direct supervisor, Joy, as Athena (though she should have gone with an owl, not an asp...)
Gladiatrix Marisol, with Crystal and Maura.
Crystal with Tara, one of the other pirate ladies.
So, I left the party at around 10 PM, because I knew I had to get up early today. Plus, the hardcore drinking had begun, and I was feeling a bit uncomfortable.
Now I need to start planning what to wear/what I'll be NEXT Halloween! I LOVE dressing up in costume. :D
1)Drinking games are really, really boring if you are not drinking.
2)The guy who thinks he's hysterically funny, isn't. He's usually an obnoxious douche bag.
I did have fun, despite not staying very long and not drinking, I met several nice people, and I actually TALKED to them! Funny thing is, I mostly talked to a gal named Tara (another PIRATE, w00t!) about meeting people on the internet who are NOT creeps. I told her that I've met the most wonderful people online, that I feel I've found my tribe, and she just looked at me with incomprehension. She's just had bad luck, I believe.
I also saw the most incredible, clever costumes. Two young men came as Mormon missionaries, complete with bike helmets and backpacks. One of them was artfully made up to look like he'd either been in a wreck, or been beaten up. Even his shirt was torn, soiled, and bloody.
Then we had zombie Marilyn Monroe, accompanied by zombie Gilligan and zombie Skipper. Too funny! The guys were draped in seaweed, and had seashells and starfish glued to their shirts and pants. I loled!
We had three lady pirates, including myself.
Anyway, on to the pictures!
Our hostess with the mostest: Crystal
The Grim Reaper, and his flapper lady (Pete and Maura)
My direct supervisor, Joy, as Athena (though she should have gone with an owl, not an asp...)
Gladiatrix Marisol, with Crystal and Maura.
Crystal with Tara, one of the other pirate ladies.
So, I left the party at around 10 PM, because I knew I had to get up early today. Plus, the hardcore drinking had begun, and I was feeling a bit uncomfortable.
Now I need to start planning what to wear/what I'll be NEXT Halloween! I LOVE dressing up in costume. :D
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Avast, me Hearties...
It's HALLOWEEN!
Ye'd better have a Happy Halloween...or I'll make ye walk the plank!
ARRRRRRRRRRRR!
Ye'd better have a Happy Halloween...or I'll make ye walk the plank!
ARRRRRRRRRRRR!
Interesting Legal Development
I received the following email from my lawyer a few days ago:
Christina,
FYI- I spoke to the attorney for Richland the other day and explained our circumstance and that we may have to sue others to get relief for you. He told me he has another case for Richland involving the EXACT SAME situation! Apparently, you're not alone!
Denise (name redacted), Esq.
Fascinating, isn't it? It would be very interesting to find out whether the other lady used the same surrogacy agency as me, because that would certainly indicate a pattern. We might only be the tip of the iceberg!
Christina,
FYI- I spoke to the attorney for Richland the other day and explained our circumstance and that we may have to sue others to get relief for you. He told me he has another case for Richland involving the EXACT SAME situation! Apparently, you're not alone!
Denise (name redacted), Esq.
Fascinating, isn't it? It would be very interesting to find out whether the other lady used the same surrogacy agency as me, because that would certainly indicate a pattern. We might only be the tip of the iceberg!
Friday, October 30, 2009
A tip for panhandlers:
If you approach my car and ask me for change, and I tell you, "Sorry, no," do NOT flip me off, okay? You giving me the finger is not going to induce me to magically change my mind and hand over some money to you, nor is it likely to influence any other motorists who might have observed your gesture to be more generous than I.
Just some helpful advice.
Just some helpful advice.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Now it's time to VOTE!
Okay, People. You have until tonight at 11:00 PM EASTERN to vote for your favorite haiku at All Atwitter! No, this is most certainly NOT a bleg for you to vote for my entry, I didn't even vote for my own haiku!
Read all the submissions, then choose your very favorite and vote for it. I'll be honest: I voted for Phlegm Fatale's, and not because she's my bestest friend, either.
Enjoy reading, and maybe you'll be inspired to participate next week...(see how diabolically clever I am? Muahahahahahahaha...)
Read all the submissions, then choose your very favorite and vote for it. I'll be honest: I voted for Phlegm Fatale's, and not because she's my bestest friend, either.
Enjoy reading, and maybe you'll be inspired to participate next week...(see how diabolically clever I am? Muahahahahahahaha...)
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Go! Participate!
In Sparrow's weekly haiku contest!
The winner gets to choose a military service member and Sparrow will send a deluxe care package to him/her. What a wonderful lady she is!
Not to mention it's ART. Haiku, I mean. So do something for your brain at the same time.
You have until 10 PM Eastern tonight to submit your haiku, so get cracking, Peeps!
The winner gets to choose a military service member and Sparrow will send a deluxe care package to him/her. What a wonderful lady she is!
Not to mention it's ART. Haiku, I mean. So do something for your brain at the same time.
You have until 10 PM Eastern tonight to submit your haiku, so get cracking, Peeps!
I <3 Business Cards...
My day was looking rather bleak when I came into work earlier, I had not a single appointment booked. I was futzing around on the computer in my room, psyching myself up to go exercise despite a lack of motivation, when Alicia knocked on my door and told me I had a 9 AM appointment.
Furthermore, she told me the client had booked two 50-minute Swedish massages back-to-back, as it was cheaper for him to do that (due to a special we're running), than to have an 80-minute Swedish, as he had originally planned. So, one hour and forty minutes of light-to-medium pressure, full body massage. Piece of cake!
Icing on this cake? Alicia told me he had requested me by name!
Turns out I massaged him back in February, and he managed to hang onto my business card the entire time since then.
He's also a very good tipper!
What lesson did you take away from today's story, children?
ALWAYS HAND OUT BUSINESS CARDS, IT CAN'T HURT AND IT MIGHT EVEN HELP YOU MAKE MONEY!
Furthermore, she told me the client had booked two 50-minute Swedish massages back-to-back, as it was cheaper for him to do that (due to a special we're running), than to have an 80-minute Swedish, as he had originally planned. So, one hour and forty minutes of light-to-medium pressure, full body massage. Piece of cake!
Icing on this cake? Alicia told me he had requested me by name!
Turns out I massaged him back in February, and he managed to hang onto my business card the entire time since then.
He's also a very good tipper!
What lesson did you take away from today's story, children?
ALWAYS HAND OUT BUSINESS CARDS, IT CAN'T HURT AND IT MIGHT EVEN HELP YOU MAKE MONEY!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Drama!
Turns out my roommate is having a little feud with our next-door neighbor. Or maybe I should say our neighbor is feuding with my roommate!
I was at WalMart yesterday evening when I got a call from Keith, my roommate. I heard some voices and a LOT of barking in the background. He said, "Animal Control is here. Where do you keep Harley's and Tucker's rabies tags?"
After I told him where their collars were, he ended the call with no further explanations, and I wrapped up my shopping as quickly as I could and headed home.
Everything was quiet when I got there, including Keith, who was quietly seething.
The neighbor called Animal Control and reported him for having "Fifteen dogs, all jammed into that tiny house!" Which was a lie, by the way. There were only eight dogs in the house at the time, and five of them were OURS. Stupid bint.
The visit by Animal Control was actually anticlimactic. They didn't expect him to let them inside the house, but he did. He also immediately produced his business license for them to peruse, which spiked their guns quite nicely. They also commented on how clean the house was, for having so many dogs in it. Well, YEAH. Hello? It's his business, and he's extremely organized and fanatical about cleanliness, despite being something of a slob personally. (No offense, Keith!)
What I'm worried about is that Keith not only gets mad, he also gets even. This was merely the opening salvo in a resurgence of a battle between him and our neighbor, one I was unaware of.
He has already retaliated in one way: He has security cameras outside the house, and he showed the nice Animal Control officers footage of our neighbor's Lab, off-leash, crapping in our front yard. Which our neighbor did not pick up, of course. This means two citations for her.
I'm really afraid this is going to get ugly, fast.
I'll keep you all posted if anything else happens.
I was at WalMart yesterday evening when I got a call from Keith, my roommate. I heard some voices and a LOT of barking in the background. He said, "Animal Control is here. Where do you keep Harley's and Tucker's rabies tags?"
After I told him where their collars were, he ended the call with no further explanations, and I wrapped up my shopping as quickly as I could and headed home.
Everything was quiet when I got there, including Keith, who was quietly seething.
The neighbor called Animal Control and reported him for having "Fifteen dogs, all jammed into that tiny house!" Which was a lie, by the way. There were only eight dogs in the house at the time, and five of them were OURS. Stupid bint.
The visit by Animal Control was actually anticlimactic. They didn't expect him to let them inside the house, but he did. He also immediately produced his business license for them to peruse, which spiked their guns quite nicely. They also commented on how clean the house was, for having so many dogs in it. Well, YEAH. Hello? It's his business, and he's extremely organized and fanatical about cleanliness, despite being something of a slob personally. (No offense, Keith!)
What I'm worried about is that Keith not only gets mad, he also gets even. This was merely the opening salvo in a resurgence of a battle between him and our neighbor, one I was unaware of.
He has already retaliated in one way: He has security cameras outside the house, and he showed the nice Animal Control officers footage of our neighbor's Lab, off-leash, crapping in our front yard. Which our neighbor did not pick up, of course. This means two citations for her.
I'm really afraid this is going to get ugly, fast.
I'll keep you all posted if anything else happens.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Does this blog make me look old?
Yes, People: It's my third Blogiversary!
Three years ago today, I started this modest little blog, and modest and little it has stayed. And that's just fine by me!
Just think...three years on the internet is like three decades in real life! Sorta like dog years...;)
Thank you to all my readers for sticking by me and reading my ramblings, you make it all worthwhile.
Here's to another three years! (At least...)
Three years ago today, I started this modest little blog, and modest and little it has stayed. And that's just fine by me!
Just think...three years on the internet is like three decades in real life! Sorta like dog years...;)
Thank you to all my readers for sticking by me and reading my ramblings, you make it all worthwhile.
Here's to another three years! (At least...)
Friday, October 23, 2009
Quick Legal Update
Answer and Counterclaim filed.
Next up: Demand letters...muahahahahahaha!
To quote a friend:
That is all.
Next up: Demand letters...muahahahahahaha!
To quote a friend:
That is all.
The best things in life are free...
and that goes DOUBLE for coffee!
I walked into my local Stop 'N' Rob for my morning coffee, and found the manager singing along with Olivia Newton John to "Hopelessly Devoted to You" from the Grease soundtrack.
I, nothing loath, immediately chimed in, and we sang to end of the song together as I filled up my travel mug with coffee.
Apparently this charmed said manager sufficiently enough to tell me, "This one's on me!" when I walked up to the register to pay!
Never thought my pipes would earn me a dime, much less a cup of coffee...can I call myself a professional singer now? ;)
I walked into my local Stop 'N' Rob for my morning coffee, and found the manager singing along with Olivia Newton John to "Hopelessly Devoted to You" from the Grease soundtrack.
I, nothing loath, immediately chimed in, and we sang to end of the song together as I filled up my travel mug with coffee.
Apparently this charmed said manager sufficiently enough to tell me, "This one's on me!" when I walked up to the register to pay!
Never thought my pipes would earn me a dime, much less a cup of coffee...can I call myself a professional singer now? ;)
A question and NOT FUN!
First the question...is it bad to have a handful of screws left over after you install a car stereo?
NOT FUN: when the car door closes on your ankle.
NOT FUN: when the car door closes on your ankle.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Got Haiku?
Head over to Sparrow's place and enter her weekly haiku contest...it's for a wonderful cause.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Excellent post, Jay
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Random
Remember, I give every client one of my business cards after their massage...
I'm putting clean sheets on the table in a treatment room right after my last massage of the day, when a male guest in a robe, sipping coffee, stops in the doorway and eyes me...
Guest: Hi, are you the manager?
Me (laughing): No!
Guest: Well, there's a business card back in the men's spa that says "Christina - Manager"...
Me (charitably): Maybe you read it wrong...my name is Christina LastName.
Guest: No, it said "Christina LastName - MANAGER"!
Me: I doubt that, I'm sure it said "Christina LastName - Massage Therapist". We have a spa director and a supervisor, no manager. And I'm happy being an Indian, I don't want to be a chief!
Guest: "LastName"...where's that from?
Me: It's Dutch.
Guest: Oh, that's cool...
Guest (abruptly): Is that your natural hair color?
Me (blink, blink): Uh, no...my hair is brown, it's just colored a bit auburn right now.
Guest: And you have green eyes?
Me: No, they're BLUE.
Guest: Well they look green!
Me: Must be my shirt...
Guest: You know, you're pretty good looking.
Me (laughing nervously): Well, thank you!
Guest walks away
Never a dull moment, I tell you...
I'm putting clean sheets on the table in a treatment room right after my last massage of the day, when a male guest in a robe, sipping coffee, stops in the doorway and eyes me...
Guest: Hi, are you the manager?
Me (laughing): No!
Guest: Well, there's a business card back in the men's spa that says "Christina - Manager"...
Me (charitably): Maybe you read it wrong...my name is Christina LastName.
Guest: No, it said "Christina LastName - MANAGER"!
Me: I doubt that, I'm sure it said "Christina LastName - Massage Therapist". We have a spa director and a supervisor, no manager. And I'm happy being an Indian, I don't want to be a chief!
Guest: "LastName"...where's that from?
Me: It's Dutch.
Guest: Oh, that's cool...
Guest (abruptly): Is that your natural hair color?
Me (blink, blink): Uh, no...my hair is brown, it's just colored a bit auburn right now.
Guest: And you have green eyes?
Me: No, they're BLUE.
Guest: Well they look green!
Me: Must be my shirt...
Guest: You know, you're pretty good looking.
Me (laughing nervously): Well, thank you!
Guest walks away
Never a dull moment, I tell you...
Friday, October 16, 2009
An Experiment
Last night was something of an experiment for me. I'm not used to going to the movies by myself, and had in fact been resisting doing so since I left Silver in North Dakota. Anyone who knows me well will realize how unnatural it is for me to go so long without visiting the movie theater...I LOVE going to the movies and enjoy everything about the experience. (Except for how ridiculously expensive everything is...)
Instead of spending the evening sitting in my skivvies in front of the computer, surfing the 'net, I dolled myself up and went out.
I headed to the Red Rock Casino, where I saw "Zombieland" at the Regal Cinemas there.
VERY funny movie, see my previous post. And while I certainly missed seeing Silver's reaction to stuff, and missed our quiet snarking back and forth, I did enjoy myself tremendously.
Then, to continue my dissipation, I settled at the Rocks Lounge inside the Red Rock and played Deuces Wild video poker for about half an hour, while enjoying my free coffee with Bailey's and whipped cream...mmmmmmm.
Lest you think I'm some sort of compulsive gambler now, my budget is $10.00, and I cashed out at $11.25. So I MADE money; even counting the dollar tip I left the bartender, I came out ahead by a quarter! That's about my speed at gambling, I can't imagine wagering large amounts of money, it would make my tummy hurt!
So, all in all a successful outcome to my experiment. I'll have to repeat it soon...just to make sure I can get the same results...it's for science, after all!
Instead of spending the evening sitting in my skivvies in front of the computer, surfing the 'net, I dolled myself up and went out.
I headed to the Red Rock Casino, where I saw "Zombieland" at the Regal Cinemas there.
VERY funny movie, see my previous post. And while I certainly missed seeing Silver's reaction to stuff, and missed our quiet snarking back and forth, I did enjoy myself tremendously.
Then, to continue my dissipation, I settled at the Rocks Lounge inside the Red Rock and played Deuces Wild video poker for about half an hour, while enjoying my free coffee with Bailey's and whipped cream...mmmmmmm.
Lest you think I'm some sort of compulsive gambler now, my budget is $10.00, and I cashed out at $11.25. So I MADE money; even counting the dollar tip I left the bartender, I came out ahead by a quarter! That's about my speed at gambling, I can't imagine wagering large amounts of money, it would make my tummy hurt!
So, all in all a successful outcome to my experiment. I'll have to repeat it soon...just to make sure I can get the same results...it's for science, after all!
Christina's One Word Movie Reviews
Zombieland: hysterically funny!
(Okay, so that's TWO words...who cares?!)
Seriously, Folks: Go see the movie, you won't regret it. I laughed out loud on numerous occasions. Just remember it is very gory.
(Okay, so that's TWO words...who cares?!)
Seriously, Folks: Go see the movie, you won't regret it. I laughed out loud on numerous occasions. Just remember it is very gory.
Monday, October 12, 2009
One Moment
I was given the heads-up about a walk-in just fifteen minutes before the scheduled appointment, and I had been taking a nap. After grumbling for a few seconds, I rallied: brushed my teeth quickly, fixed my hair, repaired my makeup (I'm a pro!), grabbed my oil and put my game face on.
After I called from the entrance to the men's spa and received acknowledgment from the client, I had to wait for a few moments, and I could hear his hesitant approach; he came around the corner, using a cane, taking careful steps with his twisted leg, his torso slightly hunched over, a huge smile on his face.
As we greeted each other, I shook his left hand, since he held the cane in his right.
While I guided him to the treatment room, I asked him a bit about his health history, and he explained he'd just come home from Iraq.
IEDs do massive damage, and those who survive them are usually permanently disabled, like my client.
Slightly halting speech from a brain injury, shrapnel and surgical scars all over his body, yet that incandescent smile that would not quit: tomorrow was his 24th wedding anniversary, and he was the luckiest man on earth.
Two healthy, happy children, an 8-month-old granddaughter he dotes on, and the love of his life still with him, by his side. His only regret that he couldn't bring all his soldiers home with him; two had lost their lives in the desert, and he told me he'd have gladly taken their place...a true hero.
If I can give to such a man even one moment of respite, a brief period without pain, and maybe an ear and a heart to listen to his story, I'm fulfilled.
I thanked him for his service, told him I was grateful for his sacrifice, and that the entire country is in his debt, but his response to that shook me. He told me I, and people like myself, those who are grateful and who love and appreciate the United States and know how good we have it here, are the reason he went to war. HE was grateful to ME, this wounded warrior, this hero. And I was left without words. Only tears.
After I called from the entrance to the men's spa and received acknowledgment from the client, I had to wait for a few moments, and I could hear his hesitant approach; he came around the corner, using a cane, taking careful steps with his twisted leg, his torso slightly hunched over, a huge smile on his face.
As we greeted each other, I shook his left hand, since he held the cane in his right.
While I guided him to the treatment room, I asked him a bit about his health history, and he explained he'd just come home from Iraq.
IEDs do massive damage, and those who survive them are usually permanently disabled, like my client.
Slightly halting speech from a brain injury, shrapnel and surgical scars all over his body, yet that incandescent smile that would not quit: tomorrow was his 24th wedding anniversary, and he was the luckiest man on earth.
Two healthy, happy children, an 8-month-old granddaughter he dotes on, and the love of his life still with him, by his side. His only regret that he couldn't bring all his soldiers home with him; two had lost their lives in the desert, and he told me he'd have gladly taken their place...a true hero.
If I can give to such a man even one moment of respite, a brief period without pain, and maybe an ear and a heart to listen to his story, I'm fulfilled.
I thanked him for his service, told him I was grateful for his sacrifice, and that the entire country is in his debt, but his response to that shook me. He told me I, and people like myself, those who are grateful and who love and appreciate the United States and know how good we have it here, are the reason he went to war. HE was grateful to ME, this wounded warrior, this hero. And I was left without words. Only tears.
Overheard inside the Casino, Ten Minutes ago...
one security guard remarking to the other:
Man, I was still drunk when I came in to work last night...
D'oh!
Man, I was still drunk when I came in to work last night...
D'oh!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
FINALLY!!!
If you direct your gaze to the ticker in my sidebar, you'll see that my weight now stands at 159.
The last time I weighed this little was when I got pregnant with my first child...which means I'VE FINALLY LOST THE BABY WEIGHT!!!!
It only took me a little over 18 years...
The last time I weighed this little was when I got pregnant with my first child...which means I'VE FINALLY LOST THE BABY WEIGHT!!!!
It only took me a little over 18 years...
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Thank you, Sir...
for a wonderful, entertaining, not to mention educational weekend. :)
UPDATE:
Wow, my readers have dirty minds...I LIKE that!
I learned how to play VIDEO POKER, you pervs! Sheesh, what did you think I meant...?
UPDATE:
Wow, my readers have dirty minds...I LIKE that!
I learned how to play VIDEO POKER, you pervs! Sheesh, what did you think I meant...?
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Bring it.
Paid my lawyer her retainer today (and thank you again, all you wonderful people who helped me, I cherish you!) and signed the contract.
You assholes wanna play hardball with me? Bring it. My lawyer has teeth, and isn't afraid to use them.
You assholes wanna play hardball with me? Bring it. My lawyer has teeth, and isn't afraid to use them.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Nice!
I LOVE it when clients upgrade during the service! Not only is it a testament to my massage skills, but I also get HALF of the difference in price, not our usual 35%.
It always gives me a little boost. Plus it's a great incentive program from our boss to motivate us to up-sell.
It always gives me a little boost. Plus it's a great incentive program from our boss to motivate us to up-sell.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
THIS, however, you can probably see all over the U.S...
but wish you couldn't!
I was leaving my local Stop 'n' Rob this morning, after picking up my caffeinated breakfast (yes, I'm an admitted failure at kicking the habit), and I saw a gentleman leaving who had, well, I won't call it a hat.
It was a visor, on his head. No big deal, right?
WRONG!
First of all, he was wearing the visor upside down. That's bad enough. But he was also wearing it SIDEWAYS. Basically, the part that's supposed to keep the sun out of your eyes/face? Over his ear, upside down.
I was already in my car, or I might just have asked him what the point was of wearing the thing in the first place. Just to look stupid? Well, if that was his objective, he succeeded admirably!
I was leaving my local Stop 'n' Rob this morning, after picking up my caffeinated breakfast (yes, I'm an admitted failure at kicking the habit), and I saw a gentleman leaving who had, well, I won't call it a hat.
It was a visor, on his head. No big deal, right?
WRONG!
First of all, he was wearing the visor upside down. That's bad enough. But he was also wearing it SIDEWAYS. Basically, the part that's supposed to keep the sun out of your eyes/face? Over his ear, upside down.
I was already in my car, or I might just have asked him what the point was of wearing the thing in the first place. Just to look stupid? Well, if that was his objective, he succeeded admirably!
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Only in Vegas...
I was pulling into the employee parking lot at the casino today, around 6:30 AM, and saw a man walking across the street, "dressed" only in a white towel slung around his hips, and flip-flops. He had a bundle of clothes in his arms, but why he wasn't wearing *them*, I haven't a clue!
I tell you, every time I start thinking I'm jaded, something comes along and surprises me all over again!
I tell you, every time I start thinking I'm jaded, something comes along and surprises me all over again!
Friday, October 02, 2009
*sigh*
Sometimes I feel cursed. I got a call from the Admissions Director at the Nursing College yesterday afternoon, asking me to come in for a meeting this morning.
Apparently, the sister campuses (which have been around much longer than the recently-established Las Vegas campus) have a much higher first-time testing pass rate for their graduates taking the NCLEX, so the Las Vegas campus is implementing some changes to improve the local students' outcome.
Bottom line: there will be NO November class. The next class starts on April 2nd. Not too big a deal, right? Except for the fact that they're starting over with the entire admissions process. AND they're shrinking the class size from 38 to 24. So more competition for fewer slots. The good news is that they're "extending me the courtesy" of an automatic admissions interview, because I apparently had the highest test scores the director has ever seen (who knew?), and my essay was also the bomb. Though he didn't quite put it in those words...;)
Also, since I've been through this interview before, I won't be nearly as nervous, and I'm already making bullet points so I don't sound so much like an idiot this time.
AND, since I'm making much less money this year than last, my FAFSA will hopefully grant me more financial aid next year.
As you can see, I'm trying very, very hard to find the silver lining in this whole mess. Even if it's only a millimeter thin...
Apparently, the sister campuses (which have been around much longer than the recently-established Las Vegas campus) have a much higher first-time testing pass rate for their graduates taking the NCLEX, so the Las Vegas campus is implementing some changes to improve the local students' outcome.
Bottom line: there will be NO November class. The next class starts on April 2nd. Not too big a deal, right? Except for the fact that they're starting over with the entire admissions process. AND they're shrinking the class size from 38 to 24. So more competition for fewer slots. The good news is that they're "extending me the courtesy" of an automatic admissions interview, because I apparently had the highest test scores the director has ever seen (who knew?), and my essay was also the bomb. Though he didn't quite put it in those words...;)
Also, since I've been through this interview before, I won't be nearly as nervous, and I'm already making bullet points so I don't sound so much like an idiot this time.
AND, since I'm making much less money this year than last, my FAFSA will hopefully grant me more financial aid next year.
As you can see, I'm trying very, very hard to find the silver lining in this whole mess. Even if it's only a millimeter thin...
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Legal Mess Update
Here's what's been going on:
-I've been served with papers. Basically the collection agency is suing me on Desert Perinatal Associates' behalf. I have until next Friday or Saturday to respond.
-I found a good lawyer, who has a detailed plan of action. Unfortunately, I'm having problems scraping together the $1,500 retainer she requires, so nothing has been done yet.
-The parents finally replied to my initial email, but they told me to contact Darci at the surrogacy agency, who has ignored my calls and emails thus far.
-I sent an email to the News Director at Channel 13 Action News here in Vegas. I've heard nothing yet on that front.
-My aunt is sending me $500, and my DAUGHTER, the college student, informed me after the fact that she also sent me $500 from her financial aid money. Now tell me, isn't she an awesome kid? I have $50 bucks saved up from tips, and I guess I'll have to get a payday loan of some kind, because I HAVE to get my lawyer on board, ASAP.
That's the status update. If anything changes, I'll let you guys know!
-I've been served with papers. Basically the collection agency is suing me on Desert Perinatal Associates' behalf. I have until next Friday or Saturday to respond.
-I found a good lawyer, who has a detailed plan of action. Unfortunately, I'm having problems scraping together the $1,500 retainer she requires, so nothing has been done yet.
-The parents finally replied to my initial email, but they told me to contact Darci at the surrogacy agency, who has ignored my calls and emails thus far.
-I sent an email to the News Director at Channel 13 Action News here in Vegas. I've heard nothing yet on that front.
-My aunt is sending me $500, and my DAUGHTER, the college student, informed me after the fact that she also sent me $500 from her financial aid money. Now tell me, isn't she an awesome kid? I have $50 bucks saved up from tips, and I guess I'll have to get a payday loan of some kind, because I HAVE to get my lawyer on board, ASAP.
That's the status update. If anything changes, I'll let you guys know!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Adding injury to insult...
I walked into a tree tonight. And I was walking BRISKLY.
Voila:
I look like someone whacked me with a big stick. Now to come up with a variety of amusing explanations to keep from having to admit how FUCKING STUPID I am...
Voila:
I look like someone whacked me with a big stick. Now to come up with a variety of amusing explanations to keep from having to admit how FUCKING STUPID I am...
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Second one...
I just massaged another guy (the second one) with a tramp-stamp tattoo. This one was a back-packer from Australia, really nice guy. The first one was a few months back and he was from Scotland. Consensus: if you see a guy with a tramp stamp, he's most likely NOT from the United States. Unless he's gay.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
My ticker.
I don't know if you've been paying attention to my weight-loss ticker, but just in case you haven't noticed, I wanted to point out to you that I've changed my goal weight by ten pounds. I moved it up from 135 to 145, because honestly, I think I'd be too skinny at 135. It's amazing and a bit scary to me that I only have about 16 more pounds to go in my journey. Hopefully those 16 pounds come out of my upper thighs...just sayin'!
At any rate, I'm so close I can almost taste victory on my tongue, and its taste is sweet.
:)
At any rate, I'm so close I can almost taste victory on my tongue, and its taste is sweet.
:)
Friday, September 25, 2009
Yet another pet peeve.
Hypocrisy of parents who make their kids wear bicycle helmets, but don't wear them themselves. What kind of message are you sending your kids? That's about as asinine as buckling your baby into a car seat, but not wearing your seatbelt!
"Oh, wear the helmet to protect your skull, but once you turn 18, who gives a fuck anymore?!"
Oh, and if you do put a helmet on your kid's head, make sure it fits properly and covers the fucking forehead, okay, Moron? You know, the part of the skull most likely to hit the pavement if your precious babe goes over the handlebars? Wearing a helmet so loosely that it slips back and forth is useless.
Christina's rant and public service announcement of the day.
"Oh, wear the helmet to protect your skull, but once you turn 18, who gives a fuck anymore?!"
Oh, and if you do put a helmet on your kid's head, make sure it fits properly and covers the fucking forehead, okay, Moron? You know, the part of the skull most likely to hit the pavement if your precious babe goes over the handlebars? Wearing a helmet so loosely that it slips back and forth is useless.
Christina's rant and public service announcement of the day.
I LURVE the thrift store!
I just bought five pairs of jeans, two belts, and three sweaters for a grand total of $32.50. You can't beat that with a stick!
I got lucky because the jeans were half-off today, $2.50 a pair instead of $5.00.
WIN!
I got lucky because the jeans were half-off today, $2.50 a pair instead of $5.00.
WIN!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I'm in.
I haven't blogged about it, since I didn't want anyone to know if I failed...but I just got the call yesterday that I've been accepted into the next class at a private nursing college here in Las Vegas!!
I start classes on November 30th, and will be finished in 22 months, graduating with my Associates Degree in Nursing. Then I will take the NCLEX and become a Registered Nurse!
Everything is falling into place, here's hoping the next two years go as smoothly...
Of course, you'll be riding along with me, so to speak!
I start classes on November 30th, and will be finished in 22 months, graduating with my Associates Degree in Nursing. Then I will take the NCLEX and become a Registered Nurse!
Everything is falling into place, here's hoping the next two years go as smoothly...
Of course, you'll be riding along with me, so to speak!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Client Roundup
I massaged three clients today.
My first client was incredibly demanding and micromanaged the massage.
My second client had the most horrid hangover breath EVER, which he insisted on blowing in my face.
My third client was a former boxer and wanted to get deep tissue work, though he only paid for a Swedish massage. And he had really, really smelly feet.
That being said, all three of them were extremely kind, interesting people, whom I enjoyed chatting with and working on.
Nobody's perfect, least of all me.
My first client was incredibly demanding and micromanaged the massage.
My second client had the most horrid hangover breath EVER, which he insisted on blowing in my face.
My third client was a former boxer and wanted to get deep tissue work, though he only paid for a Swedish massage. And he had really, really smelly feet.
That being said, all three of them were extremely kind, interesting people, whom I enjoyed chatting with and working on.
Nobody's perfect, least of all me.
Friday, September 18, 2009
My first time.
I lay back against the hard surface, my clothes mostly discarded in the rush to get to this point. My partner, much more experienced than I at this sort of thing, murmured soothing words of encouragement.
I spread my legs wide, as commanded; I closed my eyes, a mix of excitement and nerves making my heart race inside my chest.
I felt the heat first, then the pressure, then...RIIIIIIIIIP.
Ouch! That smarted...
Yes, Folks: I've gotten my first ever Brazilian wax.
I love the results, and it wasn't as painful as I feared. Don't ask for pictures, please, 'cause it ain't gonna happen!
I spread my legs wide, as commanded; I closed my eyes, a mix of excitement and nerves making my heart race inside my chest.
I felt the heat first, then the pressure, then...RIIIIIIIIIP.
Ouch! That smarted...
Yes, Folks: I've gotten my first ever Brazilian wax.
I love the results, and it wasn't as painful as I feared. Don't ask for pictures, please, 'cause it ain't gonna happen!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Floridians, you gotta love 'em!
I massaged a very nice old lady yesterday, visiting from Florida, who paid me a wonderful compliment. She told me after her massage that she felt like a new woman! That always makes me happy. I was even happier when she tipped me $45, which is more than I make on commission from the massage! Both events, combined, made my day.
:)
:)
Gee, thanks. [/sarcasm]
If you're getting a massage while massively congested due to a nasty cold (which, I reiterate for probably the thousandth time, I do NOT recommend), and not only do I considerately dispose of your nasty snot rags, but give you my very last cough drop, the least thing you can do is leave me a tip. Especially if, as you said, you LOVED your massage.
Thank you. Enjoy your flight back to Australia. Where they apparently don't tip.
Thank you. Enjoy your flight back to Australia. Where they apparently don't tip.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Seen on the casino floor five minutes ago...
a woman, wearing a "Turn to Christ" t-shirt, going wild shooting craps.
Friday, September 11, 2009
It's been two weeks...
since I moved, and I finally feel like I'm completely settled. I went from a 1000 sq.ft. apartment to a 100 sq.ft. room (plus a 25 sq.ft. storage unit!), and said room is rather full with my belongings, but to me it feels cozy rather than cramped. I hung the last picture and unpacked the last book today, and I have a warm feeling of accomplishment at last.
The dogs seem finally to have made the adjustment, I no longer have to keep the bedroom door closed at night so they don't have an "accident" somewhere in the house (they now know to use the doggy-door to go outside). This is a Very Good Thing, because my roommate keeps the thermostat set just below "swelter", and my room got suffocatingly hot with the door closed, even with a fan going. My dogs sleep under the covers, you see...and they put out a LOT of heat!
Anyway, I no longer have the feeling that I'm simply spending the night at someone's house...I'm actually home.
It's a good feeling.
The dogs seem finally to have made the adjustment, I no longer have to keep the bedroom door closed at night so they don't have an "accident" somewhere in the house (they now know to use the doggy-door to go outside). This is a Very Good Thing, because my roommate keeps the thermostat set just below "swelter", and my room got suffocatingly hot with the door closed, even with a fan going. My dogs sleep under the covers, you see...and they put out a LOT of heat!
Anyway, I no longer have the feeling that I'm simply spending the night at someone's house...I'm actually home.
It's a good feeling.
Monday, September 07, 2009
Turn of phrase...
Overheard inside of a treatment room:
Wow, what you're doing to my shin TOTALLY doesn't suck!
Wow, what you're doing to my shin TOTALLY doesn't suck!
Introducing:
Dorothy, my newly-minted massage therapist colleague!
What a nice young lady. I'm very impressed.
She's not quite 4'10" tall, and looks about twelve. Needless to say, she has to set the massage table as low as it'll go!
She was kinda thrown into the deep end today, her very first day. I tried to help her out and explain things as we went along, but it wasn't easy because we were all busy this afternoon. Our last massage of the evening was a couple's hot stone massage. I'd gotten everything ready hours before when I had a break, so that we wouldn't be running around like chickens with their heads cut off. The massage was scheduled for 5:00 PM.
5 o'clock rolls around, and our clients are nowhere to be seen. Hmmm. They booked in person earlier in the day, and the massages were paid for at that time. Yay, we get our commission and don't have to do any work!
Wait...not so fast. At quarter after, they waltz in.
An Asian couple whose English skills are rather lacking, which bodes ill for the rest of the massage. So we get them on the tables at 5:20, which means they're getting a thirty-minute hot stone massage instead of a fifty minute one. NO PRESSURE, RIGHT?
Of course I ask my client, the man, whether he's had any recent injuries or surgeries, he says that both he and his wife are healthy. Excellent! We proceed.
Obviously we don't have enough time to do the full body. I massage the entire posterior aspect (the entire back of his body, while he's lying face-down), then turn him over to start massaging his neck and scalp.
I've barely started rubbing his neck with the stones, when he suddenly thrusts his right foot out from under the sheets and says, "My big toe is sore!" Of course, I assume he wants me to work on this sore spot, so I put the stones down and mosey to the foot of the table to work on his big toe.
I start gently rubbing it, and he's twitching and "ouch"ing, finally he jerks his foot away and says, "No, my toe is HURT, please don't touch it!"
To that I say: D'OH! with a side of *facepalm*!
Miscommunication and language difficulties rear their ugly, ugly heads.
I fall all over myself apologizing, of course. Because the customer (or massage client) is always right.
Needless to say, I did not get a tip from this massage. Oh, well.
What a lovely beginning to Dorothy's glamorous career as a Las Vegas Massage Therapist!
What a nice young lady. I'm very impressed.
She's not quite 4'10" tall, and looks about twelve. Needless to say, she has to set the massage table as low as it'll go!
She was kinda thrown into the deep end today, her very first day. I tried to help her out and explain things as we went along, but it wasn't easy because we were all busy this afternoon. Our last massage of the evening was a couple's hot stone massage. I'd gotten everything ready hours before when I had a break, so that we wouldn't be running around like chickens with their heads cut off. The massage was scheduled for 5:00 PM.
5 o'clock rolls around, and our clients are nowhere to be seen. Hmmm. They booked in person earlier in the day, and the massages were paid for at that time. Yay, we get our commission and don't have to do any work!
Wait...not so fast. At quarter after, they waltz in.
An Asian couple whose English skills are rather lacking, which bodes ill for the rest of the massage. So we get them on the tables at 5:20, which means they're getting a thirty-minute hot stone massage instead of a fifty minute one. NO PRESSURE, RIGHT?
Of course I ask my client, the man, whether he's had any recent injuries or surgeries, he says that both he and his wife are healthy. Excellent! We proceed.
Obviously we don't have enough time to do the full body. I massage the entire posterior aspect (the entire back of his body, while he's lying face-down), then turn him over to start massaging his neck and scalp.
I've barely started rubbing his neck with the stones, when he suddenly thrusts his right foot out from under the sheets and says, "My big toe is sore!" Of course, I assume he wants me to work on this sore spot, so I put the stones down and mosey to the foot of the table to work on his big toe.
I start gently rubbing it, and he's twitching and "ouch"ing, finally he jerks his foot away and says, "No, my toe is HURT, please don't touch it!"
To that I say: D'OH! with a side of *facepalm*!
Miscommunication and language difficulties rear their ugly, ugly heads.
I fall all over myself apologizing, of course. Because the customer (or massage client) is always right.
Needless to say, I did not get a tip from this massage. Oh, well.
What a lovely beginning to Dorothy's glamorous career as a Las Vegas Massage Therapist!
Profound wisdom...
seen on a t-shirt worn by a rather rotund man walking on the Strip today:
Fat people are hard to kidnap.
Good point!
In other news, I'm still alive, and Michael Jackson is still dead. As is Teddy Kennedy.
Fat people are hard to kidnap.
Good point!
In other news, I'm still alive, and Michael Jackson is still dead. As is Teddy Kennedy.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
I'm sick...
and my creative juices have been drowned in mucus.
I'll be back sometime soon. Hopefully I'll feel better ASAP.
I'll be back sometime soon. Hopefully I'll feel better ASAP.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Happiness is...
having my elderly client tell me after his very first massage ever, that he hasn't felt this good in years. :)
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