I happened to mention to my friend AD the issues I've been having getting my dogs to, *ahem*, defecate in a timely fashion.
It's been cold, it's been damp or drizzling, snowing or windy, or a combination thereof, and my dogs tuck their tails in to keep their nethers protected. I walk them around and around the yard, freezing my own ass off, until I finally give up and head back inside to the warmth. They just DON'T want to go, which has led to them pooping inside the house in the middle of the night.
Now AD used to train dogs, it was his business, so normally I'd trust any advice he could give me about dogs. However, AD is also a supreme practical joker and all-around smartass, so when he told me to dampen a matchstick and shove it up my dog's butt, I questioned his motives and my sanity.
I finally broke down yesterday, since I still had some casino matchbooks in my purse (it's always helpful to have matches on hand, since you never know when you might need to start a fire), and tried out this trick.
Unbelievable. Within 30 seconds, both my dogs were squatting and taking care of business.
No more stress, no more worries about them sneaking off and pooping right in front of my roommate's bedroom door (yes, one of them did this a few nights ago, and guess what my roommate stepped in first thing in the morning?) *facepalm*
So, thanks, Ambulance Driver, font of obscure, poop-related knowledge!
I can rest easy now, both in the knowledge that my dogs won't crap in the house, and in the fact that you were NOT shitting me, pun absolutely intended!
Doesn't mean I didn't google it, first chance I had today! ;-)
The Matchstick Trick