Monday, May 05, 2008

Dear Ms. B.L.,

I don't care that you're a lawyer. Nor do I care that you're wearing a rock the size of a jaw breaker on your finger, and several more around your neck.

You, my dear, are uncouth. It's bad enough that you didn't wash your hands after you used the toilet, but then to touch ME on the neck to show me where your problem areas are, with your disgusting, germy hands...*shudder*.

I'll have you know that only the fact that I'm a professional kept me from shrieking in horror when your fingers touched my neck, and that my flesh was crawling during the entire massage.

I couldn't wait for the massage to be over, because immediately afterwards I ran to our utility sink and scrubbed my neck and shoulders with a soapy wash-cloth. I hated giving you my business card, even though you asked for one, because I hope I never have to massage you again.

And a two-dollar tip, on top of that? Adding insult to injury, really. (BTW, I split your oh-so-generous tip between the two front desk people, because I didn't want those two dollar bills in my purse, bad tip-karma, dontcha know!)

And the young lady who was in the spa at the same time as you? You know, the gal with the tattoos, facial piercings and black-painted toe nails? SHE washed her hands after going to the bathroom, and I'd rather massage her than you ANY day.

Thank you, that is all.


Lin said...

Gee, maybe the woman acted like that because the ladies room was out of toilet paper. Wish I could send you a joke on that - it made you laugh but still go "Ewwww!"

phlegmfatale said...

gawdess! how revolting!

Christina LMT said...

Lin, trust me, PLENTY of tp. They have those huge dispensers in the stalls that hold about three or four rolls, and housekeeping stocks them every night! Bring on the joke, I can take it!

Phlegmmy, sometimes I wonder how I can do what I do and keep smiling. I can't believe how many women don't wash their hands after going to the loo, it's really, really disturbing. I try not to speculate on what the men do (or do NOT) in the bathroom!

And btw, it's GREAT to see you back on my blog, yay!

Mauser*Girl said...

It just goes to show that it doesn't matter how much money someone has, what designer clothes they wear, or what a great job they have: they can still be trash.

And seriously, a two dollar tip? I tip the local pizza delivery guy more than that, and they only have to drive a mile up the road!

Christina LMT said...

That's because you have class, MG!

Lin said...

Drats, that joke must have been in the computer that didn't survive the move but I found it on-line. Remember, you asked for it. grin

A very attractive woman goes up to the bar. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals for him to bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is so full and bushy. "Are you the manager?" she purrs, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no", he replies. "Can you get him for me? I so need to speak to him." She is now running her hands up beyond his beard and into his thick hair. "I’m afraid that I can’t." breathes the barman, clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Please tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."

Christina LMT said...


LOLing here.

Serves him right.

Putz said...

don't you guys be against all MEN ok????????

HollyB said...

Now, I try to tip tell me what the proper tip amount IS for a really good massage?
I've been tipping the woman who does my facial I being a cheapskate or fair?

Christina LMT said...

20% is OUTSTANDING! Trust me, you're being an excellent client. I'm thrilled when I get a twenty percent tip, anything more than that and I know I totally blew the client away. Really, 10% and up is perfectly fine!
Getting a $2.00 tip on a $60.00 service is an insult (to me, anyway)!

Angel said...

Hi, I just found your blog through another blog I read and wanted to comment on the no hand washing thing..I have to say that I do not wash my hands nor do I let my daughter because we are both allergic to so much soap that I do not want to cause a break out, HOWEVER i do keep a bottle of santizier in my purse that does not break us out that i use. I go through probably 2 big bottles a week, my daughter is a germaphob (spelling) I also keep a mini can of lysol in my purse to spray the toliet seat before and after each use.