Misc.

-My new dentist's office, while being the typical, generic chain office (pushing upsales, etc.), redeems itself by playing hard rock/metal at adequate volumes. Everything's better with Iron Maiden. Even dentistry.

-Why didn't I realize until yesterday how much the Tobey Maguire "Spiderman" movies irritate me? I guess the first one was okay, but the rest? Ugh.

-Giving up caffeine (my precioussssssssssss) is fucking hard. And it makes me cranky.

-I can't wait for my massage on Wednesday. My colleague A. has her work cut out for her!

-New Englanders can't drive worth shit. Or they CAN, they just don't care to. Which pisses me off.

-I have a new mantra running through my head: Silver is an adult. Silver is an adult. Silver is an adult.
I guess it's more difficult than I realized to give up old patterns of behavior. I have to keep reminding myself that when I was Silver's age, I was married and getting ready to give birth to HER. And I knew EVERYTHING. I will probably have to amend the mantra when Chaos and TallyAngel get here next month, since they are adults, too.

-Why don't people listen? I bring clients into the treatment room, point out the chair, side table, and wall hooks on which they can place their clothing and sundry other items, then I come back into the room to find their stuff piled on the floor. Who puts their clothes on the floor, outside of their own homes? Weird.

-SCI-FI and MrsSCI-FI have the patience of saints. Just sayin'...

Stick a fork in me...

I'm done!

I took my physiological chemistry final yesterday, and it whupped my ass. Hopefully I got a high enough grade to get an A overall, but at this point, I'm just glad to have it over with. Now I have to prep for my writing proficiency exam (a requirement for graduation), which I'm taking the first week of June. *sigh* At least I had today to relax, right?

Hunger Games Week IV Update

SCI-FI: -6.6 pounds
Me: -4.6 pounds

Pretty respectable for four weeks. 

Onward and upward (or DOWNWARD!) Gotta reverse the SCI-FI winning trend...he's beating me like a rented mule! It's that darn testosterone...

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope all moms, grandmoms, stepmoms, and mentors of the female persuasion are having a wonderful day today, filled with whatever gives them joy.

Seen on a Bumper Sticker...

Jacob       Edward
I think I'll play on both teams.

Lord save me from Twitards.

Awkward.

That moment you put your feet in the stirrups and realize you forgot to shave your legs.

Heigh-Ho, Silver...

AWAY! From North Dakota, that is.

Silver is winging her way to Bean Town tomorrow, and I can't wait to see her! Safe travels, Baby!

Love you.

Nutrition

Done! I took my final yesterday and it was a piece of cake, and I got my project back with a very sweet A+!

Overall grade: A

Now I have to focus on chemistry. Final next Wednesday. Ugh.

The Avengers

Go. See it. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Also, if you have very small children, HIRE A MOTHERFUCKING BABYSITTER OR I'LL METE OUT SOME RIGHTEOUS HULK SMASH ON YOUR ASS.

I realized something today.

While at my music director's traditional end-of-semester party, I realized that if you're gonna do karaoke or any other kind of sing-a-long, it helps to actually have singers there. It's a ton of fun, we can harmonize,  and we actually hit the high note in Bohemian Rhapsody. ;)

Almost done...

Classes are officially over, w00t!! I have my Nutrition final tomorrow afternoon (right after my clinical orientation, gulp!), and my Physiological Chemistry final is a week from today. I have a LOT of catching up to do in PhysChem, but I have a week to study and I only need a 71 on the final to get an A in the class overall, so I'm not too worried (yeah, right...this is ME, who am I kidding?!).
Then I have to prep for my stupid Writing Proficiency Exam, which I'm taking the beginning of June. THEN I will finally be done and be able to enjoy my summer. :)

The Hunger Games Week III

SCI-FI and I are tied at -3.8 pounds! (Yes, I gained weight. I fell off the wagon for two days and gained four pounds. So I lost three. I call that a win!)

Once more unto the breach!

See you next week.

I had a blast last night...

at the blogdinner for Tam. Except for three things:

Alcohol has calories (CURSES!).

I totally suck at pool.
and
I can't wear high-heels for a long period of time. My feet HURT.

It was truly a pleasure to meet new people and get reacquainted with "old" friends! The good times rolled. :)

Hunger Games Week Two

Total weight lost by moi: 4.8 pounds

Total weight lost by SCI-FI: 1.2 pounds

I'm currently in the lead, but don't count SCI-FI out...his weight tends to fluctuate, and tomorrow he might be down five pounds! I do have a slight edge, because as of today, I feel well enough to hit the gym again! Yay, working out! SCI-FI frowns on exercise, unless he's exercising his MEGA-BRAIN, so as I said, I have a slight edge. But SCI-FI also has testosterone on his side, which can't be discounted.

See you next Monday!

I am in LOVE...

with my new bank!

It's local, it's open all the time (see=SUNDAY!), the customer service rep was super-friendly and helpful, and when I was opening my new checking account today, she didn't bat an eye when I used my LTC as a secondary form of ID.

Bank of America can kiss my lily-white ass.

Overheard at the Spa...

"Fresh off the boat from 'Jersey Shore'." - My colleague K., describing the clients we're about to massage.

He had a point.


Oh, and just as an aside, it would be to your benefit to mention to your massage therapist, BEFORE the massage, that you got a piercing in your forearm earlier in the day. Thanks ever so much.

It's pretty sad...

when the neighbor's rabbit hutches smell far more pleasant to me than the guy standing next to where I'm sitting on the T. Fresh rabbit urine and droppings are more tolerable than STALE HUMAN PISS. Ugh.

Hunger Games Update

Week 1: Down 3.2 pounds. 23 left to go...

SCI-FI is being coy with his totals, likely part of his overall strategy of lulling me into a false sense of security...but we shall see who triumphs in the end!

CHRISTINA LMT/SCI-FI HUNGER GAMES: MAY THE BIGGEST LOSER WIN!!!

Nyquil dreams...

I want to dick punch my subconscious. While wearing brass knuckles.

First RAH, now JIM CARREY?!

Seriously, what's wrong with Vin Diesel? Or Chris Hemsworth as Thor. In those jeans...mmmm.

                                                                     source



Hey, Old NFO...where can I get some vindaloo around here? I'm envying you your vindaloo dreams.

Pity Party

I've had probably a month or so to write this paper, which is due early Thursday morning. Why is it that I only have a page and a half written so far? Why am I sweating bullets trying to finish it at practically the last minute? Procrastination SUCKS. Especially since I have two other projects, two exams, two concerts, and a final exam left to go. Plus I've been sick since Wednesday, missed two out of three days of work this week because of it (there goes my next paycheck), AND I got my period today. And dieting sucks. There. I'm done venting now. Bet you're relieved. But, hey...at least I'm not pregnant!

QOTD

Weer'd: But what if we tip you...in GUN?

Barter is a wonderful thing.

May the odds be ever in your favor...

Today marks the official start of the Christina LMT/SCI-FI Hunger Games. No, we're not going to fight to the death, we're competing in weight-loss. God, I'm going to be a cranky, raging bitch. My apologies in advance.

I had an interesting dream last night...

RAH was my father-in-law. Yeah, we got it on.

I guess I read too many of his later books during my formative years.

Ouch...

In the past few weeks, two therapists have been fired from my work. One for challenging our (tiny, pregnant) manager to a round of fisticuffs ("You wanna take this outside, huh? HUH?"). The other was texting on her iPhone. While she was giving a massage.

The stupid, it BURNS.

Fall 2012

I just registered for my fall classes! I'm going to be taking 16 credits: Intro to Nursing, Pathophysiology, Nursing Research (which is an online class), and Health Assessment. Two classes with labs, one of which, Intro to Nursing, is in actual facilities, with real live patients! Here's to hoping I keep them that way!

Hey, I recognize that!

As I look around during my long commute to school, I realize, "Yep, I've been on this particular train before."

Someone has defaced the sign on the door at the end of the compartment.
Instead of:

                         DO NOT LEAN AGAINST DOOR
                               NO PASSING THROUGH
it reads:
                         DO NOT LEAN AGAINST DOOR
                         NO   ASSING     ROUGH

Now, I've heard of "roughhousing", but "rough assing" is new to me. Hmmm...on second thought, I really don't want to know more.

Have a great weekend and a Happy Easter, everyone! I'm going to be working and studying for a nutrition exam. And working on a paper. And doing chemistry homework. Yay.

I'm such a dork.

Why, oh WHY, did I feel compelled to mention "My Friend Flicka" during nutrition class? Just because the mom in that book had a thyroid issue due to iodine deficiency, and we were discussing iodine and goiter...*sigh* It's not like I'm in fucking 6th grade, I'm in COLLEGE.

Oh, well. At least I'm certain to be remembered. As that annoying, never-get-her-to-shut-up dork, if nothing else.

Shocked!

I was shocked when I got my chemistry exam back a couple of hours ago: I GOT A 97!!! I truly wasn't expecting that, especially after the professor disclosed at the beginning of lecture that the class average was 64.

Now I don't have to sweat the third exam as much, since the lowest exam grade of the three will be dropped. I am dreading the cumulative final, though...*GULP*.

I'm so looking forward to the summer! No class, my twins will be here, I'll still only be working part-time...life will be good! I just have to get there...

Please, for the love of all that's holy!

Don't wear overpowering (or ANY, really!) fragrance when you're getting a massage.

My first client of the day today was DRENCHED in perfume that smelled like the misbegotten child of baby powder and those blue things you put in your toilet tank. It made the back of my throat burn and my nose itch and run.

Plus, it had horrendous staying power: I could still smell it in my room at the end of my shift, four hours later.

Don't do it, people! Think of your therapists and take pity on their respiratory tracts! Thank you.

Last week...

I was wearing shorts and basking in the sun. Now I'm back to wearing my heavy coat, scarf, and gloves. WTF, New England?!

Concerts!

It's that time!

If anyone local-ish would like to attend one or both of the concerts I'm performing at (yes, they are different!), drop me a line at lucrativepain@yahoo.com and I'll email you the pertinent info.

I'm nervous and excited!

Fashion victim?

Or just stupid?

A man wearing pegged jeans, especially when one pant leg is pegged higher than the other, ESPECIALLY with sneakers with NO SOCKS.

*shudder*

Seen on campus today. I wanted to run screaming in the other direction, but I had a class in the same building as the unfortunate young man.

As far as New England winters go...

this one has been a bust. I'm NOT complaining! ;)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Found on Facebook. I love it!

Overheard at the breakfast table...

mini-B (6 yrs. old): "I don't know what a 'chiropractor' is...sounds like a dinosaur!"

Trying to get a mental image of a dinochiro...hmmmm.

Spring Break!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

In the words of a famous person on the intarwebz, that is all.

Overheard at the breakfast table...

B. (Mrs. SCI-FI) and I are discussing the merits of having lunch at our local faux-Mexican place again...

B: Well, at least if we go there, we're sure to get lots of free stuff since that kid who works there likes you.

Me: Oh, c'mon! He doesn't "like" me, I'm just a good customer who's polite.

B: He has a crush on you!

Me: I'm old enough to be his mother!

B: Maybe he has a thing for MILFs.

*blink blink*

Me: Yeah, I got nuthin'. Except I'M BLOGGING THIS!

B. rolls her eyes...

Damn traffic!

The traffic was so bad on my commute to work last night, it took me FOUR TIMES as long to get there than normal.

Yeah, a whole EIGHT MINUTES instead of the customary two.

:D

Thank you, Weer'd!

SCI-FI, Weer'd, and I had a lovely afternoon at the range today, turning money into smoke and noise.

After firing so many,  many handguns over the past couple of years, I've finally decided on a carry gun!

This is quite the momentous occasion. And the winner is ................................drumroll please.............................. the CZ 82!

It feels great in my hands, I shoot fairly accurately with it (and the more I practice, the better I shall get), the recoil is moderate, and I just plain DIG the epic muzzle flash and the clouds of smoke from the "dirty, Russian gunpowder". Also, and the importance of this can NOT be overstated, it's a very cheap gun. Even a strapped-for-cash college student like myself can swing the purchase of one of these guns. And that's a very good thing.

So thanks again, Weer'd, for inviting us onto your playground and sharing your toys so nicely. You're a good friend.

Today...

I *am* the meaning of life! (Go look it up, Douglas Adams, dontchaknow?) :D

Do you speak Jargon?

I KNOW you do!

The first sentence from a paper I have to read for class:

"Current models or frameworks used to represent and or conduct research on determinants of human health have lagged behind in adopting emerging concepts of ecosystems: multiple spatial and temporal scales; nested hierarchies of socioeconomic and biophysical environments; inherent complexity of interrelationships among environmental components and influences; external environmental influences; and feedback loops between environments, providing self-organizational capacity and functional emergent properties."

 I'm pretty sure I know what the author is REALLY saying, though..."Hurr...I r smart!"

No wonder I presently want to beat my head against a wall.

I hab a code...

To those with whom I shared my tiramisu last night, using MY spoon, I offer a sincere apology, in advance.

I'm just trying to get through this without my head going splodey from the sinus pressure. Ugh.

Epic!

Dinner at Polcari's with AD and all the gang. Follow-up to, uh...follow. :D

Too much homework to do right now. Though I'm still buzzing from the two (measly!) drinks I had. Should be interesting...

*sigh*

I'm truly a light-weight!

98

was my score on my chemistry exam!

Of course, me being me, I'm irritated at the problem I got wrong.

*rolls eyes*

Is it THAT hard?

When I announce my presence with a cheery "Good morning!" as I walk into the small, sparsely populated classroom, is it really too much to ask that I get at least one reply?

Look, I don't even require a good morning in return, "Morning," without specification, would suffice.

Sheesh, some people!

I don't care.

My lovely and talented eldest daughter, Silver the Evil Chao, mentioned on facebook the other day that she feels like people are laughing at her behind her back.

Fuck the haters.

I know for a fact that people were laughing at me at the gym today, because I heard them, and I really don't care. Hey, I was bopping to a catchy song between sets, because I need all the motivation I can scrounge just to work out to begin with. Plus, the song reminds me of the epic roadtrip last summer with my twins!

La la la la la!

Hey, at least I wasn't singing along...out loud. :D

Exam...

crushed, annihilated, defeated. Thoroughly.

Now on to the paper that's due tomorrow for my nursing class...

Apropos of that, I lurve the dedicated "quiet floor" at my school library, it's so...QUIET. I can focus and get stuff done here.

Hey, you!

Yeah, you...disgusting man on the T who's picking his ears and flicking the earwax hither and yon. If that shit lands on the pretzel I'm eating, YOU'RE GOING DOWN. Be prepared. And buy some fucking q-tips and use them. AT HOME.

More local linguistic foibles

I've noticed that folks use "lay" instead of "lie" a LOT (really makes me cringe, btw.) And also "anyways" which is NOT a word. Just sayin'...

Filed under misc.:
-I got my first chemistry lab report back, 95! W00t!
-I've written two essays for my nursing class so far, several more to go.
-I have my first chemistry exam on Wednesday (gulp!).
-The director of the chamber singers is a bit too lackadaisical for my taste. He was absent last Wednesday and the accompanist directed. I was warned by another singer that he was a bit of a Nazi. She was right, and I LOVED IT. We finally got shit done! He kept order properly and we REHEARSED.
-We had a fire drill yesterday, right while I was in the middle of working out. Just call it workoutus interruptus.The entire building was evacuated, and all us gym rats were huddled together outside, in our shorts and t-shirts, trying to laugh about how quickly the sweat froze and how many calories we were burning with our shivering. Luckily it wasn't too cold and the sun was shining.
-I've noticed a student who wears a burqa to school, and I wonder what her student ID picture looks like.
-There's an actual "Occupy NBU" movement on campus. They have a folding table and chairs set up inside the main campus building, with four, two-man dome tents behind them. On the cold, marble floor. LOL. They are the butt of many jokes.

That's all for now!

Not a big fan of Starbucks here.

I think they're overpriced and overrated.

Yet I still bought a peppermint hot chocolate and a caramel square there today.

Have you made your purchase?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Unfortunate Discovery.

Apparently, just because I can READ on the bus doesn't mean I can STUDY on the bus.

Kindle reading, with its font and line-spacing changeability, is perfectly fine. My chemistry textbook? Not so much...*urp*.

Motion sickness sucks. Or blows, rather. Chunks...

I have been honored...

by two very special people, Old NFO and Ruth.

They awarded me this:

The cool thing is, this means "favorite blog" in German, w00t!


At any rate, I'm very grateful to NFO and Ruth for thinking of me. THANK YOU!

Well...

I was going to apologize to the lady sitting quietly in the stall after I resoundingly and robustly belched in the bathroom, thinking I was alone, but when I realized she wasn't going to wash her hands before exiting, I decided she didn't deserve an apology.

One uncouth turn deserves another.

To the Girl in the Gym...

who was wearing this t-shirt:

I totally *heart* your being awesome, too. For some reason, seeing you wearing this shirt just made my day.

Thanks!

Also, I need to get me one of these shirts.

Image from here.

You know what's cool?

Sprinting for your train, making it, and not being even slightly out of breath. THAT'S cool.

Speaking of the train, it is slightly awkward to get to a "good" part in a book you're reading, when you and the rest of the passengers are packed in tightly as sardines. I just pretend I'm invisible (and my Kindle is, too). Besides, everyone else is doing their own thing, anyway. Nobody is reading over my shoulder. Right?!

Inconceivable!

My chem. professor reminds me SO much of this guy. It cracks me up every lecture.

Misc.

-saw "One for the Money", and it didn't suck! (Caveat: I'm a huge fan of the books, so YMMV.)

-I got my health insurance card in the mail today, w00t!

-survived my first week of school, relatively unscathed. Except for my habitual fretting over stuff that's not due for months, which is SOP for me.

-massaged for 7 hours today, five clients total. Not one of them talked, so I had 7 hours to spend inside my own head. That's not always a good thing, trust me (see above bullet point!)

-filed my taxes today, too...Yay! I'm actually getting money back from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts...must mean I'm poor. ;)

-Two of my 90-minute massages were prenatals, and my first one had EPIC GAS. I'm talking, reeking like the bastard child of a skunk and hell effluvium. And rotten eggs. Though that's three parents. This was THROUGH a blanket and a sheet, mind you. Reminds me of time I was pregnant with Silver and woke up her dad from a sound sleep. But I digress...

-I have homework! As a matter of fact, I have to memorize a song by MONDAY. When am I supposed to do that?! I have no time! (I have a mandatory post-holiday, holiday party for work tomorrow night. Sigh. At least it's free food!)

And that's about all I've got right now. Have a great Sunday!

Chorus...

wasn't challenging enough, so I auditioned for the Chamber Singers and got in! Now I'm in two musical groups, w00t!

I'll have more details on concerts, etc., at a later date, should anyone be inclined to come hear us perform.

UPDATE:
Forgot to mention that I'm singing Soprano 1 in Chorus and Alto 1 in the Chamber Choir. I made the mistake of mentioning that I could go "pretty low" during the audition, so he asked me to show him. "Wow, you CAN go low...you'll be an Alto, I need Altos!"

Hell..

is being stuck at a subway station due to a malfunctioning train and being forced over and OVER and OVER again to listen to a third-grade-skill-level saxophonist butchering "Mary Had a Little Lamb", "The Star-Spangled Banner", "The Wedding March", and "Happy Birthday". Among a few other songs. I believe "When Johnny Comes Marching Home" was one of them, but I can't be quite sure BECAUSE HE SUCKED!!!

Man, where are earplugs when you need them?!

Poor K.!

Not only did his deep tissue client fart on him twice while his face was in close proximity to her exhaust pipe (he was bent over, massaging her hamstrings), but she only tipped him four bucks!

Talk about adding insult to injury...

Ow ow ow!

As my (big, bodybuilding) client was turning over onto his back during the massage, he TOTALLY kneed me in the thigh. Ow. I was grimacing and silently screaming, hoping he'd keep his eyes closed so he wouldn't freak out and think I was having a seizure or something.

Then he apparently realized he'd made secondary contact because he muttered a "Sorry..."

Hey, at least he's a good tipper!

There's something totally cool...

about a client telling me how "wicked good" her back feels after the massage. Dare I say "WICKED COOL"? ;)

Crazy day.

Yeah, that was yesterday. It started off okay, until I got to work. I had an older male client whose chart was littered with "Deep Tissue Massage", who told me that he HATED deep tissue and wanted really light pressure. Turns out his son, a Jr., is also a regular client here and somehow the two charts were conflated. Now the front desk has to figure out which notes are for which client, and fix up two brand-new charts, which of course need to be signed by the respective men. *sigh*

Then I had a client who has the same name as another client and there were two charts and two files. Luckily we could figure out which was which by birthdate and address, and it doesn't appear that any of the therapists erroneously charted.

THEN, there was the new client who was wearing her bra AND a tanktop when I walked in (in addition to her underwear, which I have grown accustomed to here). I told her she needed to take the tops off if she wanted me to massage her, which took her aback (no pun intended). I'm sorry, but if you want a massage with your clothes on, go to the mall and get a chair massage. My patience for that sort of thing has run dry.

THEN there was the client (luckily not mine) who was jerking off during his massage. The therapist was almost done by the time she noticed, so she finished the massage and went and told the owners of the spa about it (unfortunately our manager, who always has our backs, wasn't there yesterday). They asked her if the client had touched her or said anything inappropriate, and when she told them no, he hadn't, they told her it was all okay.

WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!

No, it is NOT okay. It's never okay for a client to masturbate during the massage, no matter whether he/she says or does anything else "inappropriate". Believe me, this is going to be addressed during our mandatory staff meeting Post-Holiday Party...

And finally, I got home and found my blog gone and my gmail inaccessible. Someone must have hacked my gmail account and done something that violated Google's Terms of Use (or whatever it's called.) I felt like a huge part of me was missing! Anyway, at least I got it all straightened out today and I'm BACK. Of course I changed my password. Here's hoping that today is a better day.

Actual Movie Title

"Apple Ass Battle Bang II"

I don't know what disturbs me more, the fact that there are people out there who will pay money to see this, or that this is a SEQUEL.

It's pretty sad...

that my prenatal massage client had to have parental consent forms signed before I could massage her.

You know...

if you're swarthy and hairy...if you sound like an extra from the Sopranos...and if you sport a tattoo that says "Made in Napoli" on your arm...I get the sneaking suspicion that you might be of Italian heritage! Just a WAG on my part...;)

Somehow...

you know it's likely to be a bad massage when the first thing you notice on the intake form is *BE CAREFUL OF THE BACK PIERCINGS!*

*sigh*

Happy New Year!!!

I hope all y'all out there have a healthy, happy, and prosperous New Year.

Overheard at Dinner

"When the internet hates you more than Justin Bieber, you know you've failed epically."

Silver, discussing Governor Rick Perry's hilariously disastrous YouTube video.

Another spelling "gem"...

Seen on a client's chart: "Client complains of psiatic pain..."

*sigh*

PSA

If you're not sure how to spell something, look it up or ask for help.

That way we can avoid having excrescences like "periformace" and "soreatick" crop up in our clients' charts. Which are legal documents, after all...

Silver is lucky...

to still be alive. Just sayin'.

She was walking behind me as we were carrying stuff out to the car the other day, and the sun was shining brightly. She asked me in all seriousness, "Mom, do you still have white paint in your hair?"

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

"No, Silver. As a matter of fact, I washed the paint I did get in my hair out a few days ago. You know, after we finished painting the room?!"

"Oh...you mean that's ALL GRAY HAIR? You have THAT MUCH GRAY HAIR?! HOLY CRAP!"

She belatedly realized the danger she was in. Maybe it had something to do with how quickly I whipped around to face her. It might have had to do with my narrowed eyes and clenched teeth. Or perhaps it was the steam coming out of my ears...

"It looks GREAT on you, Mom...really!!" she said in a quavering voice.

And so she lives to annoy me another day.

Merry Christmas!

I hope all of you wonderful people have a very merry Christmas and a healthy, happy New Year!

School...

I'm taking twelve credits this upcoming spring semester at NBU. I wanted to do more nursing classes, but I have to do three classes from the "first three semesters" (if I were a Freshman, not a transfer student) that I'm missing before I can move on to Clinicals.  So I'm taking Physiological Chemistry (Lecture, Discussion, and Lab), Nutrition, and Intermediate (Nursing) Seminar. Those only bring me up to 10 credits, and since I want to be considered a full-time student, and since it miraculously doesn't conflict with any of my other classes, I'm also taking UNIVERSITY CHORUS!!!!!

I'm going to be singing and performing again, Y'all! I'm so excited, I can't WAIT. I haven't sung since I left the Las Vegas Master Singers when I moved to Pahrump, NV in early 2004. Holy crap, the last time I performed was Christmas of 2003! That's far too long. My pipes may be rusty, but they'll limber up fast. I've missed singing and it's something a part of me really needs. It's nice that I can get college credit and an easy "A" while fulfilling that need. :)

"If you're gonna paint...

...you need caulk. The bigger the crack, the more caulk you need. You hold the gun at an angle and squeeze steadily, moving down. Make sure your finger is wet, the caulk needs it wet, 'cause you don't want it to get hard too fast, then get your finger in there and smooth it down..."

Part of the down-and-dirty caulk tutorial I received from our contractor.

Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

There is something slightly surreal...

in overhearing the middle-aged carpenter who's doing some work outside singing along with the Divinyls' "I Touch Myself", especially since he's mangling the lyrics.

O Happy Day!

Bright futures beckon
Endless possibilities
Adulthood begins!

Happy Eighteenth Birthday, Chaos and TallyAngel!

I love you and I'm so proud of you both!

Wow.

Just found out I also got accepted into another Nearby University's nursing program.

That's okay, though. I'm sticking with NBU!

It's a Regional Thing

Two different people today at work described something demonstrably stupid as being "reTAHded".

I love it here!

Overheard in the Dining Room...

"He has a voice that sounds like scissors."

"Scissors?!"

"Jabbing into you!"

That makes way more sense.

Miss you...

Boundless heart offered
Gracious kindness to strangers
Making all welcome

Rest in peace, Mamaw. We'll miss you, but we're relieved that your suffering is over.

I did it.

Though it's just the beginning!

I just received my acceptance letter into Nearby Big University's (NBU) Nursing Program!!!

I start the end of January and will be on my way to getting my Bachelor's of Science in Nursing.

Let the partying commence!

Most Excellent Evening!

I had a wonderful afternoon and evening today, spending a solid hour at the range with Weer'd, getting to shoot my rifle (yay!), his CZ82 (checking out potential carry guns), a revolver in .22LR (help me out here, bro...what was it called?!), and his "Baby Beretta".
 
I had a ton of fun and we stayed until they kicked us out for a scheduled match.

We decamped for Casa Weer'd, where the always delightful Mrs. Weer'd awaited us.
After sipping tea and chatting for an hour or so, it was time for me to head back home. A day well spent, my friends!

Thanks again, Weer'd, for a most excellent day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

to everyone out there (who celebrates Thanksgiving, of course!)

Now I retire to enjoy my food coma, hope you do the same.

So proud!

Last Friday, my oldest daughter, Silver the Evil Chao, was inducted into Upsilon Pi Epsilon (UPE), the International Honor Society for the Computing and Information Disciplines.

Yeah, she kicks total ass...as if you didn't know already!

I Welcome our Mollusk Overlords.

...but don't tell Breda!

Overheard in the breakroom...

"Then I told that disgusting perv, 'Don't you come in here thinking this is a whorehouse! And don't ask anybody else here that question!'"

I was too busy to ask for details, but I'm pretty sure I know what question the disgusting perv asked.

*sigh*

"Game called...

...on account of *BLARGH*!!!"

For the very first time since I became a massage therapist, I had to break off a massage yesterday. My final client of the day ended up hurling (luckily, she made it to the bathroom in time!) about thirty minutes into her ninety minute massage.

She emerged from the loo looking rather wan, but insisted she wasn't sick, she felt fine. Picture me rolling my eyes, HARD.

I explained that it was a very bad idea to continue the massage under the circumstances and that she was welcome to reschedule with me when she felt better. Of course we didn't charge her for this visit.

Hey, she still tipped me, which I thought was very decent of her, considering.

Hope she feels better.

New England Rotary*

EQUALS Wheel of DEATH!




*aka "roundabout" or "traffic circle" for all you non-New Englanders!

Tech Bleg

So, any advice on how to watch my Hulu stuff on our TV?

Thanks in advance...I know y'all are way more clever than I am with stuff like that!

Observation:

There's something inexplicably delightful and charming in hearing my very refined and oh-so-proper Moroccan colleague, A., sprinkle the f-bomb randomly into conversation.

Perhaps it's the accent?

Uh, no...not really!

As I was waiting for my client to emerge from the treatment room, my colleague J., visibly disturbed, scurried down the hallway toward the breakroom. As she passed by me she paused and muttered, "You ever have a client say, 'Thank GOD I wore underwear today!' before the massage?!"

Thankfully, no!

And I don't even want to begin to contemplate the meaning behind that statement.

Thank you.

Monday Haiku

glinting through the woods
blue sky, clouds, russet treetops
pond's calm reflections

DISTURBING!

Massaged a young woman yesterday, and when I draped her back, I noticed her trampstamp.

It was a lovely, Gothic cross.

*blink blink*

'Cause nothing says "FUCK ME HARDER, YOU NASTY BASTARD! OOOOH, YEAH...SPANK ME!"
like knowing Jesus died for your sins...and IS WATCHING YOU!!!!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, but it's not my fault that the person scheduling your appointment fucked up and booked you an hour instead of a 90-minute massage.

 I'm sorry that your expectations of what a massage is weren't met. Massage therapists aren't chiropractors, and it's outside of our scope of practice to do spinal manipulations and adjustments.

I'm sorry that I didn't "beat (you) up" enough. You have several herniated disks, you take muscle relaxants and narcotic painkillers, and deep tissue massage is contraindicated.

I'm sorry that you apparently weren't listening when I explained all this to you.

I'm sorry that you had to spend 15 minutes at the front desk complaining about it all.

I'm sorry that I was already in with another client, and that I wasn't there to discuss it more with you and the front desk associate.

That being said, I'm glad you got the massage for free and I'm glad you rebooked with another therapist (who goes by the nickname "Hitler"). Maybe she can make you happy. Maybe she won't care about risking your health and her license and will beat the shit out of you.

I'm sorry, but it's not my problem anymore.

RIP

I was stunned and saddened to hear today of the passing of William the Coroner.

We weren't close friends, by any means, but I certainly enjoyed reading his blog and I hope he got an occasional chuckle from mine.

My condolences to his family and friends, he was definitely a special person, and he's gone much too soon.

Rest in peace.

Mayhem...

in the backyard!

Critters (most likely coyotes) nabbed one of the neighbors' chickens in our backyard.
It looks like a down pillow exploded back there and my dogs are going crazy sniffing, sniffing, sniffing everywhere. Not to mention peeing.

I'm amazed at how long my wimpy dogs stayed out in the cold this evening, investigating all the intriguing scents. Maybe they aren't such high-maintenance, etepetete wusses after all!

Weather Observation

You know it's a bit chilly outside when your dog's poo steams.

Wait, is that weather, or climate?

Let's ask Al Gore!

Friday Night Haiku

Lasers are awesome!
Blasting kidney stones to bits
Making my friend well