Saturday, October 06, 2007

Quick Spa Tales

Just a quickie...

Massaged a lady last week, a massage newbie, who had the most enormous breasts I've ever seen. Seriously, they were EACH the size of a large watermelon, only not as firm.

She was getting a shoulders, back, and neck massage, so needed to be face down on the table, with her face in the face rest.

Her face ended up hovering about a foot above the face rest.

I serendipitously found a breast bolster* on the shelf under the table, but that still wasn't enough, so I had to find her a pillow to rest her head on.

She was finally comfortable, and the rest of the session ran pretty smoothly, except for her having to turn her head from side to side so that I could massage her neck.

She's the lady from a previous post who tipped me twenty smackers for a sixty dollar service. Nice!

I received a wonderful compliment from a client last week. He was a young man attending UNLV, majoring in PR or advertising or some such.

His plan is to become a sports agent for the NBA.

We started talking about how Las Vegas needs a real professional sports team, and were commenting on the need for a new stadium, Sam Boyd Stadium being waaaaay out in the boonies.

I mentioned that it always takes forever for me to get there when my daughter has a high school marching band competition, and he lifted his entire torso off the table (he was face down) and blurted, "YOU have a daughter in high school?!"

Me: Uh, yeah...?

Him: No way! I though you were late twenties, thirty at the most!

Me: Well, it IS dark in here...

Him (laughing): No, no, even when you picked me up at the men's spa I thought that.

Me: Well, thank you very much, don't worry about leaving me a tip!

(He didn't, either! Man, I was only joking, sheesh!)

I wasn't wearing any make-up, either.

Maybe he needs glasses.

*breast bolster: imaging a boogie board made of squishy foam, tapering in thickness from one end to the other, and the thinner side has two big half-circles cut out, like a shark took a bite out of both sides. The boobs are supposed to go there. I guess.


phlegmfatale said...

ew, breast bolster. Melons? eek! poor thing.

Yar, sheesh! He still shoulda tipped you, cheap bastard!

Christina RN LMT said...

I know, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry...about non-tippy guy.

I just felt sorry for melon lady.
Her daughter got a massage, too, and looked exactly like Mom.

Breast reduction, anyone?

Chuck said... didn't happen to snag a few discreet camera phone pics did you? LOL

Christina RN LMT said...

Sorry, Chuck, but I'd like to keep my job!
Yeah, they were massive, definitely falling into the scary category.

4chun Cookie said...

For a short time that I worked there I never seen the bolster!! Mine would probably have fit in there nicely!! LoL....

He was an A$$!! Maybe the girls didn't ask for it when he left?

Christina RN LMT said...

That's certainly possible, Cookie.
We only really have one girl who's good about that.
Plus Abdul. He usually asks, too.
I heard that Sunday B. (who's back, by the way) went postal on the chick who never asks, because she (B.) had six client and only two tipped. One of the four who didn't is a regular customer of hers who ALWAYS tips, so something is fishy...