Tuesday, September 04, 2007


Before I start a new week at work, I want to share some highlights from last week.

I massaged a 90-year-old woman, who immigrated from Mexico to the U.S. in 1945.
She met a German immigrant in Washington, D.C. in 1948, and they fell in love and were married for 33 years before he died of cancer, which is the tragedy of her life.
She spoke of him with such passion in her voice, that I teared up when she told me about his death (which was 26 years ago!). Crying while giving a massage is never a good idea.

I also want to rescind my "no underwear" rule in very special cases, such as this:
If you don't understand the instruction "slide BETWEEN the sheets, face down, with your face in the face rest.", you have my permission to keep your undies on, 'K?!
Otherwise I might have a leetle shock when I reenter the room.

My daughter intends on going to college at the University of North Dakota, in Grand Forks, so it was very cool to have a client who not only has lived in Grand Forks all her life, but also attended UND. I picked her brain during the entire massage!

It was bound to happen. I guess you'd say it was inevitable. I finally had my first creepy client.
I scoured the internet to find a picture that reminded me of this fella, but struck out.
If you've ever seen the cheesy 70's movie "Earthquake", and you remember the dude who tried to rape Victoria Principal's character, you know what this client looked like.
He was a construction worker from North Carolina, about 6'2", with a black goatee and mustache, but blond, curly, almost afro-like hair (which was not a wig!).
The massage started out fine, he had some issues with sciatica (he said), and wanted work on his thighs and glutes primarily.
No problem, said I!
But when he started pulling the sheet aside, to tell me exactly where he wanted the deepest strokes, I started feeling the heebie-jeebies.
He never quite crossed the line, it's like he knew just how far to push it before I'd break off the session, but he got very, very close. Anytime you have to tell your client that you can't massage their gluteal cleft (aka "ass crack"), you have a problem!
He also asked me if he could extend the massage, but thankfully he was my last client, so I told him I went off-shift after our session, then he asked if I could work overtime! Thankfully, again, this is not allowed. When I mentioned that the male massage therapists had some openings, he quickly declined!

After the massage was over, I told my (young, male) boss about it, and he ran back to the men's spa to check this guy out.
When he came back, the first thing he said was, "Is he wearing a wig?!", then he proceeded to tell me not to worry, the guy was only "this big", and my boss was only holding finger and thumb about two inches apart. That made me laugh!

Anyway, it's back to work now, hopefully I'll have more stories to share!

Have a great week, Folks.

One more thing. I just wanted to make very clear that I never, ever initiate conversation with a client during a session. I know it seems like I jabber the whole time, but I only talk with clients if they start the conversation. Anything else would be inappropriate and unprofessional!


Chuck said...

LOL This is quite educational! If I ever meet you for a massage I'll know just not what to do...

Christina RN LMT said...

See, I provide a public service!

phlegmfatale said...

Well, I suppose it's better to have 26 years of widowhood to miss a hubby than to have 26 years of hubbydom wishing to be a widow!

Anyhoo. Asscrack massage guy sounds like a real winner. Whether he's only this big or not. Ew.

Watch out for that one - I'll bet he'll be back.

Christina RN LMT said...

Phlegm - see my latest post...you're absolutely right!
I agree with the marriage thing.
It was just so touching the way she talked about him, how she misses him every day.
I guess I was feeling sorry for myself, too.