The most amusing sight in a casino:
Pregnant cocktail waitresses!
The saddest experience of this past weekend?
The ticket guy at the monorail station needing to use a calculator to figure out that he owed me $16.00 change when I gave him a twenty for $4.00 worth of tickets.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Blinded by the light...
Two random, unconnected events.
First, how the hell did mushrooms grow out of my daughter's bathroom cupboard?!
WTF? I'm not talking mold or mildew here, and let me make it very clear that our apartment is SPOTLESS, after all, that's what I pay my cleaning people for.
Mushrooms, like you'd put on a pizza.
I called the maintenance office, and after I explained what was going on, I got about 10 seconds of total silence. Then followed disbelief, then finally determination to check it out themselves. Good! Because I really want to know how this happened.
Second, we had a guest in the spa today, an attractive, tanned young lady, whose teeth were so fucking white, you could spot them a mile away, in the dark, in a rain storm. I felt like I needed to find my shades.
Geez, I like my smile to be nice and all, but something that shrieks "FAKE!!!" every time you open your mouth is not for me!
In further news, we were visited by Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs a while back.
Sans Snow White, and there were actually only five, but still, leave me my illusions, m'kay?
ANYway, they were a group of obviously related, middle-aged men from the Ukraine, none of them over 5'4", all of them balding, with huge noses and ears that would not be out of place on a pitcher. I couldn't see their feet from my position behind the counter, but I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they had been shoe-less and covered with hair (oh wait, wrong movie!).
The funniest thing was what happened on their tour of the spa. They asked R., the attendant, if they could use the scale to weigh themselves. After being assured that this was no problem, they promptly stripped off all their clothing and proceeded to the scale. Thankfully, this was in the MEN'S spa, and not in the co-ed area which is open to the public. Since their English wasn't of the best, and R.'s Ukrainian nonexistent, R. just had to let them do their thing.
Observed in the Employee Dining Room (henceforth known as "EDR"), a lady in a most "intriguing" outfit.
I mean, I have no clue where she could have found it, and I didn't know such clothes existed.
Picture a lady of perhaps middle years, desperately hanging on to youth (or the appearance thereof) by her fingernails, not exactly overweight but certainly padded, stuffed, and I mean STUFFED into an ankle length skirt made of gray sweat-shirt material, with a white "racing stripe" on either side and a slit up the back. The second part to this ensemble is a gray hoodie, yes a HOODIE. The coup de grace, however, are the sparkly, silver high-heeled sandals. Add to this hair teased to HERE, and you get the complete picture.
I'm just glad she didn't notice my focused stare, or she might have got the wrong idea.
More crap to follow, as soon as I think of something! I really need to get a digital camera...
First, how the hell did mushrooms grow out of my daughter's bathroom cupboard?!
WTF? I'm not talking mold or mildew here, and let me make it very clear that our apartment is SPOTLESS, after all, that's what I pay my cleaning people for.
Mushrooms, like you'd put on a pizza.
I called the maintenance office, and after I explained what was going on, I got about 10 seconds of total silence. Then followed disbelief, then finally determination to check it out themselves. Good! Because I really want to know how this happened.
Second, we had a guest in the spa today, an attractive, tanned young lady, whose teeth were so fucking white, you could spot them a mile away, in the dark, in a rain storm. I felt like I needed to find my shades.
Geez, I like my smile to be nice and all, but something that shrieks "FAKE!!!" every time you open your mouth is not for me!
In further news, we were visited by Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs a while back.
Sans Snow White, and there were actually only five, but still, leave me my illusions, m'kay?
ANYway, they were a group of obviously related, middle-aged men from the Ukraine, none of them over 5'4", all of them balding, with huge noses and ears that would not be out of place on a pitcher. I couldn't see their feet from my position behind the counter, but I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they had been shoe-less and covered with hair (oh wait, wrong movie!).
The funniest thing was what happened on their tour of the spa. They asked R., the attendant, if they could use the scale to weigh themselves. After being assured that this was no problem, they promptly stripped off all their clothing and proceeded to the scale. Thankfully, this was in the MEN'S spa, and not in the co-ed area which is open to the public. Since their English wasn't of the best, and R.'s Ukrainian nonexistent, R. just had to let them do their thing.
Observed in the Employee Dining Room (henceforth known as "EDR"), a lady in a most "intriguing" outfit.
I mean, I have no clue where she could have found it, and I didn't know such clothes existed.
Picture a lady of perhaps middle years, desperately hanging on to youth (or the appearance thereof) by her fingernails, not exactly overweight but certainly padded, stuffed, and I mean STUFFED into an ankle length skirt made of gray sweat-shirt material, with a white "racing stripe" on either side and a slit up the back. The second part to this ensemble is a gray hoodie, yes a HOODIE. The coup de grace, however, are the sparkly, silver high-heeled sandals. Add to this hair teased to HERE, and you get the complete picture.
I'm just glad she didn't notice my focused stare, or she might have got the wrong idea.
More crap to follow, as soon as I think of something! I really need to get a digital camera...
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Head Scratchin'
This morning I had an interesting encounter at the elevator.
I was trying to exit, while a very large man pushed his way on.
Whatever, I thought.
I said, "Hi!", because I tend to greet everyone I meet (I'm just like that, sue me!).
I was around the corner and the elevator doors were closing when my caffeine-less, muddled brain finally processed what this guy had said to me in return.
"Fuck you."
Wha'?
Well, good morning to you, too, Sunshine!
I couldn't even get angry, I was laughing too hard. I mean, who the hell just says, "Fuck you." to a total stranger?
Well, I hope whatever bug crawled up his ass decided to depart, and he had a better day.
Later on in the morning, this conversation occurred between my humble self and an innuendo-spouting guest, you know, the kinda guy who always has to find some sort of sexual connotation to everything.
Me: What size shoe do you wear? (We provide the guests with sandals for the spa, and I just KNEW what was coming!)
Guest: How about a size 15, 'cause you KNOW what they say about men with big feet! (expectant look on his face)
Me: (blandly)They need big shoes?
Guest: (hesitates, with a finger pointing at me) How about a size 9?
Me: No problem.
Me - one point
Horny guest - ZERO!!!!
Victory is mine!
I was trying to exit, while a very large man pushed his way on.
Whatever, I thought.
I said, "Hi!", because I tend to greet everyone I meet (I'm just like that, sue me!).
I was around the corner and the elevator doors were closing when my caffeine-less, muddled brain finally processed what this guy had said to me in return.
"Fuck you."
Wha'?
Well, good morning to you, too, Sunshine!
I couldn't even get angry, I was laughing too hard. I mean, who the hell just says, "Fuck you." to a total stranger?
Well, I hope whatever bug crawled up his ass decided to depart, and he had a better day.
Later on in the morning, this conversation occurred between my humble self and an innuendo-spouting guest, you know, the kinda guy who always has to find some sort of sexual connotation to everything.
Me: What size shoe do you wear? (We provide the guests with sandals for the spa, and I just KNEW what was coming!)
Guest: How about a size 15, 'cause you KNOW what they say about men with big feet! (expectant look on his face)
Me: (blandly)They need big shoes?
Guest: (hesitates, with a finger pointing at me) How about a size 9?
Me: No problem.
Me - one point
Horny guest - ZERO!!!!
Victory is mine!
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Random
Limousines don't automatically have the right-of-way.
There, now that I've got that out of my system, let me ask you something:
Do you find it more difficult to be rude to people or polite? Which requires more effort for you?
'Cause I've got to say, I find it pretty much impossible to be rude!
Unlike the guest we had in today.
Phrases heard: "I'm a college educated business professional!"
"I feel I'm being degraded!"
"No, you're not trying to "make sure we're on the same page", you are implying I'm too stupid to understand a spa menu!"
And so on, and so forth. Her tone was so bad, her embarrassed husband fled the reception area and apparently hid around the corner until she was finished.
Everything we said to her, she viewed as an attack.
How can you go through life that way, with such a huge chip on your shoulder, thinking everyone is out to get you?
I wasn't so much offended by her, rather almost bemused. Like observing some strange species of animal on TV.
What set her off? She was requesting a massage which overlapped a massage she was already scheduled to receive in a package she booked. We were just trying to avoid her wasting her money, etc. She didn't quite see it that way!
Needless to say, she was a lousy tipper (I'm just amazed she tipped at all!).
Anyway, it was a very interesting day!
Addendum to randomness:
TOTALLY smokin' guy walked in to get a massage. He smelled sooooo good and he had a piercing gaze (I've been reading far too many romance novels!)
After he was escorted back to the men's spa, his fragrance (NOT odor!) lingered around the reception area. Ahhhhhh.
After A. came to pick up his ticket, we told her how hot he was, and she just rolled her eyes at us, consummate professional that she is. Funny, how just a few minutes later she raced up to the reception as Smokin' Guy was getting situated in the treatment room, fanning her face with both hands and stating that she didn't know if this was going to work. We just laughed mockingly! She even said she had trouble looking directly at him! Making eye contact, that is. Well, HE was a good tipper!
There, now that I've got that out of my system, let me ask you something:
Do you find it more difficult to be rude to people or polite? Which requires more effort for you?
'Cause I've got to say, I find it pretty much impossible to be rude!
Unlike the guest we had in today.
Phrases heard: "I'm a college educated business professional!"
"I feel I'm being degraded!"
"No, you're not trying to "make sure we're on the same page", you are implying I'm too stupid to understand a spa menu!"
And so on, and so forth. Her tone was so bad, her embarrassed husband fled the reception area and apparently hid around the corner until she was finished.
Everything we said to her, she viewed as an attack.
How can you go through life that way, with such a huge chip on your shoulder, thinking everyone is out to get you?
I wasn't so much offended by her, rather almost bemused. Like observing some strange species of animal on TV.
What set her off? She was requesting a massage which overlapped a massage she was already scheduled to receive in a package she booked. We were just trying to avoid her wasting her money, etc. She didn't quite see it that way!
Needless to say, she was a lousy tipper (I'm just amazed she tipped at all!).
Anyway, it was a very interesting day!
Addendum to randomness:
TOTALLY smokin' guy walked in to get a massage. He smelled sooooo good and he had a piercing gaze (I've been reading far too many romance novels!)
After he was escorted back to the men's spa, his fragrance (NOT odor!) lingered around the reception area. Ahhhhhh.
After A. came to pick up his ticket, we told her how hot he was, and she just rolled her eyes at us, consummate professional that she is. Funny, how just a few minutes later she raced up to the reception as Smokin' Guy was getting situated in the treatment room, fanning her face with both hands and stating that she didn't know if this was going to work. We just laughed mockingly! She even said she had trouble looking directly at him! Making eye contact, that is. Well, HE was a good tipper!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Yes, you do get naked...
Think no evil!
I did field the question today whether one gets naked before receiving a massage.
The answer is YES, especially if you want the massage to be good! If you leave any garments on, the therapist will generally not massage that area, which means no gluteal work, and if you leave a bra on, well, the straps definitely get in the way!
Thankfully, no female client has ever left her bra on when I was working, but panties yes, all the time. Pretty frustrating!
Also had one guy leave his JEANS on. I mean, what am I supposed to do then?!
All I could do for the lower body was compressions through the sheet. BOring.
Well, I guess everyone has their comfort zones, so to speak.
Another thing I've noticed since starting work at the spa is how disadvantaged the male therapists are. So many men apparently have a problem receiving a massage from another man. Someone also told me that the thought of getting an erection from a massage by a MAN was too horrifying to contemplate! Relax, dudes! If it happens, so what? Nine times out of ten the therapist won't even notice (we're not looking at your crotches, for God's sake!), and it's a completely normal reaction to massage (as long as you're not masturbating, and you don't try to get me to touch it, in which case your ass is outta there, ASAP!).
Anyway, the bottom line is (no pun intended), if you're going to receive a full body massage, take a shower, wear the robe provided (with nothing underneath), and RELAX.
That is the ultimate massage experience!
I did field the question today whether one gets naked before receiving a massage.
The answer is YES, especially if you want the massage to be good! If you leave any garments on, the therapist will generally not massage that area, which means no gluteal work, and if you leave a bra on, well, the straps definitely get in the way!
Thankfully, no female client has ever left her bra on when I was working, but panties yes, all the time. Pretty frustrating!
Also had one guy leave his JEANS on. I mean, what am I supposed to do then?!
All I could do for the lower body was compressions through the sheet. BOring.
Well, I guess everyone has their comfort zones, so to speak.
Another thing I've noticed since starting work at the spa is how disadvantaged the male therapists are. So many men apparently have a problem receiving a massage from another man. Someone also told me that the thought of getting an erection from a massage by a MAN was too horrifying to contemplate! Relax, dudes! If it happens, so what? Nine times out of ten the therapist won't even notice (we're not looking at your crotches, for God's sake!), and it's a completely normal reaction to massage (as long as you're not masturbating, and you don't try to get me to touch it, in which case your ass is outta there, ASAP!).
Anyway, the bottom line is (no pun intended), if you're going to receive a full body massage, take a shower, wear the robe provided (with nothing underneath), and RELAX.
That is the ultimate massage experience!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Go Tell the Spartans...
Saw 300 on Sunday with Silver. Excellent, excellent movie, with LOTS of computer animated blood flying!
I turned to Silver at one point during the show and asked her why all the warriors weren't drenched in blood, since they were spilling it so copiously, and she suggested that maybe they were sweating it all off.
And no, in case you're wondering, I didn't worry about head lice at all while watching the flick, I think I'm mastering that phobia...YAY, ME!
The only thing that bothered me during the whole movie experience was the parents who brought the entire brood of kiddies to watch...5 kids aged about 12/13 down to maybe 4/5.
WTF were they thinking?! That they didn't want to pay for a babysitter? Well, I can tell you that their sleep in the foreseeable future is sure to be interrupted by nightmares suffered by the youngest of the children, at the minimum.
What happened to taking the kids to see a Disney flick, anyway? They don't ALL suck!
Well, now that I've gotten that out of my system, let me share a little vignette from the spa that got lost in all the sleaze of my last post.
The spa I work at is located at the opposite end of a hallway from the casino wedding chapel. There were NINE weddings scheduled on Valentine's Day (how cliche, no?). At about five minutes to 5:00 PM, two handsome, young, tuxedo-clad men, made notable by the panicked expressions on their faces, came storming into the spa.
"The wedding chapel, where is it?!" one gasped. My colleague and I pointed to our right and said, "All the way at the other end of the hallway!".
After they stampeded out again, my colleague and I had a chuckle over the close resemblance of the young men's eyes to the eyes of getting-ready-to-bolt horses...white all the way around!
Here's a message to people who, for whatever reason, don't want to leave a tip for their therapist or aesthetician...DON'T LIE!
I might hate you and feel bad for your therapist/aesthetician when you say, "No, thanks.", when I ask if you'd like to leave a gratuity, but I will respect your honesty.
Don't tell me you just have to get some cash and you'll be right back, or any of the other lame-ass, ridiculous excuses you come up with!
Just say NO.
That's all.
I turned to Silver at one point during the show and asked her why all the warriors weren't drenched in blood, since they were spilling it so copiously, and she suggested that maybe they were sweating it all off.
And no, in case you're wondering, I didn't worry about head lice at all while watching the flick, I think I'm mastering that phobia...YAY, ME!
The only thing that bothered me during the whole movie experience was the parents who brought the entire brood of kiddies to watch...5 kids aged about 12/13 down to maybe 4/5.
WTF were they thinking?! That they didn't want to pay for a babysitter? Well, I can tell you that their sleep in the foreseeable future is sure to be interrupted by nightmares suffered by the youngest of the children, at the minimum.
What happened to taking the kids to see a Disney flick, anyway? They don't ALL suck!
Well, now that I've gotten that out of my system, let me share a little vignette from the spa that got lost in all the sleaze of my last post.
The spa I work at is located at the opposite end of a hallway from the casino wedding chapel. There were NINE weddings scheduled on Valentine's Day (how cliche, no?). At about five minutes to 5:00 PM, two handsome, young, tuxedo-clad men, made notable by the panicked expressions on their faces, came storming into the spa.
"The wedding chapel, where is it?!" one gasped. My colleague and I pointed to our right and said, "All the way at the other end of the hallway!".
After they stampeded out again, my colleague and I had a chuckle over the close resemblance of the young men's eyes to the eyes of getting-ready-to-bolt horses...white all the way around!
Here's a message to people who, for whatever reason, don't want to leave a tip for their therapist or aesthetician...DON'T LIE!
I might hate you and feel bad for your therapist/aesthetician when you say, "No, thanks.", when I ask if you'd like to leave a gratuity, but I will respect your honesty.
Don't tell me you just have to get some cash and you'll be right back, or any of the other lame-ass, ridiculous excuses you come up with!
Just say NO.
That's all.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Did you miss me?
Of COURSE you did!
Well, computer issues resolved (it was a crapped-out wireless router), so here I am again, boring the masses.
Just a few vignettes of spa life:
The lovely (middle-aged, white) couple from New Jersey, who come to Vegas twice a year for conventions.
The hubby always books the couples massage in the side-by-side room, always has the same (black) male therapist massage his wife, and always tries to get this therapist to agree to completely undrape his wife's ass while it is being massaged.
So he (hubby) can watch.
Of course the therapist always refuses, because he's a professional who'd like to KEEP HIS LICENSE, FOR GOD'S SAKE!
According to both therapists involved, the hubby never has his face in the face cradle, but instead always has it turned toward his wife, so he can observe the wife-massage action.
I guess it takes all kinds. One guess what this guy's (not-so-secret) fantasy is!
Then there was the guy who spent quite some time perusing the large spa menu posted just outside our door. Who then came to the front desk and asked if we had the "special" massage that apparently wasn't listed on the menu!
When told by my colleague that all offered massages were listed, he then asked her (who happens to be Korean-American), whether she was the "only Oriental gal" doing massage at our spa. He left, obviously disappointed, after she explained to him that she wasn't a massage therapist, and that she was the only person of Asian descent working there!
This, by the way, is a recurring theme at our spa!
"Special massages" and "Orientals".
Look in the goddamn yellow pages, you fucking perverts.
You'll find everything you're looking for there.
(Yes, I've decided to be not-so PG-13 anymore. Why? Because this is how I really am and because I'm a comment whore who is desperate for any kind of response to my posts...didn't you know that about me already? ;))
Oh, and a little message to the disgusting asshole who hawked a loogie on me from who-knows-which hotel room balcony as I was leaving work:
You are very lucky that I don't know who you are. I would have had a couple of buddies from security hold you down while I permanently rearranged your tackle.
If said loogie had hit my head or face instead of my shin, the consequences for you would have been fatal. I'll leave it to your imagination, but trust me when I say that anything you can imagine falls far short of my reality...
One last vignette before I sign off for tonight:
"Naturally Santa"
As opposed to "Artificially Santa"?
Apparently this is an organization of "real" Santas, men who have the gut, the white hair and beard, and for all I know, the twinkle in their eyes! (Probably, since this is Vegas after all, the red nose and cheeks, too...alcohol is abundant here!)
Not to mention the ho-ho-hos on every street corner! (horrible pun, I know, twenty lashes with a wet noodle for me!)
One more thing.
Let it be known that Canadians are generally horrible tippers...but they're really polite about it!
Well, computer issues resolved (it was a crapped-out wireless router), so here I am again, boring the masses.
Just a few vignettes of spa life:
The lovely (middle-aged, white) couple from New Jersey, who come to Vegas twice a year for conventions.
The hubby always books the couples massage in the side-by-side room, always has the same (black) male therapist massage his wife, and always tries to get this therapist to agree to completely undrape his wife's ass while it is being massaged.
So he (hubby) can watch.
Of course the therapist always refuses, because he's a professional who'd like to KEEP HIS LICENSE, FOR GOD'S SAKE!
According to both therapists involved, the hubby never has his face in the face cradle, but instead always has it turned toward his wife, so he can observe the wife-massage action.
I guess it takes all kinds. One guess what this guy's (not-so-secret) fantasy is!
Then there was the guy who spent quite some time perusing the large spa menu posted just outside our door. Who then came to the front desk and asked if we had the "special" massage that apparently wasn't listed on the menu!
When told by my colleague that all offered massages were listed, he then asked her (who happens to be Korean-American), whether she was the "only Oriental gal" doing massage at our spa. He left, obviously disappointed, after she explained to him that she wasn't a massage therapist, and that she was the only person of Asian descent working there!
This, by the way, is a recurring theme at our spa!
"Special massages" and "Orientals".
Look in the goddamn yellow pages, you fucking perverts.
You'll find everything you're looking for there.
(Yes, I've decided to be not-so PG-13 anymore. Why? Because this is how I really am and because I'm a comment whore who is desperate for any kind of response to my posts...didn't you know that about me already? ;))
Oh, and a little message to the disgusting asshole who hawked a loogie on me from who-knows-which hotel room balcony as I was leaving work:
You are very lucky that I don't know who you are. I would have had a couple of buddies from security hold you down while I permanently rearranged your tackle.
If said loogie had hit my head or face instead of my shin, the consequences for you would have been fatal. I'll leave it to your imagination, but trust me when I say that anything you can imagine falls far short of my reality...
One last vignette before I sign off for tonight:
"Naturally Santa"
As opposed to "Artificially Santa"?
Apparently this is an organization of "real" Santas, men who have the gut, the white hair and beard, and for all I know, the twinkle in their eyes! (Probably, since this is Vegas after all, the red nose and cheeks, too...alcohol is abundant here!)
Not to mention the ho-ho-hos on every street corner! (horrible pun, I know, twenty lashes with a wet noodle for me!)
One more thing.
Let it be known that Canadians are generally horrible tippers...but they're really polite about it!
Christina's Words of Wisdom #4
Whenever somebody says they "don't mean to be a bother/difficult/a pain in the ass..." they ALWAYS ARE!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Incommunicado...or is it "-da"?
Folks, I'm gonna be out of touch for a while (probably).
My wireless network has crapped out on me (since last Friday, actually), and the gurus at GeekSquad won't be able to work their magic until March 3rd (my birthday, by the way!) Happy birthday to me!
I'll have internet again!
I'm typing this on my daughter's computer, which is not an ideal arrangement, hence my lack of posts until I'm back on-line.
Take care of yourselves out there, I'll try to keep up at least on my reading every few days.
I'm sure I'll have lots of interesting spa stories to share, I already have a few saved up.
C-ya!
My wireless network has crapped out on me (since last Friday, actually), and the gurus at GeekSquad won't be able to work their magic until March 3rd (my birthday, by the way!) Happy birthday to me!
I'll have internet again!
I'm typing this on my daughter's computer, which is not an ideal arrangement, hence my lack of posts until I'm back on-line.
Take care of yourselves out there, I'll try to keep up at least on my reading every few days.
I'm sure I'll have lots of interesting spa stories to share, I already have a few saved up.
C-ya!
Friday, February 09, 2007
Interesting...
Seen in the window of a pick-up truck I parked next to at work.
Sticker 1: WARNING This truck is protected by loaded weapons!
Sticker 2: Nothing in this truck is worth dying for.
Convinced me!
Sticker 1: WARNING This truck is protected by loaded weapons!
Sticker 2: Nothing in this truck is worth dying for.
Convinced me!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Hint(s)
Here's a hint to all you folks who plan on spending time in Las Vegas...
prostitution is NOT LEGAL!!!!!!
I know, you'll see all the flippin' huge billboards reading "Hot Babes, Direct To You!!!" being driven around town on the back of trucks, and you'll be accosted on every corner by guys handing out fliers reading the same, but trust me on this, it's still not legal.
Head out to Nye county if you are interested in partaking of the ladies of the night, heck, the Chicken Ranch and Sheri's Ranch will even send a complimentary limo to pick you up and drive you there!
Just trying to help you out...
Here's another hint, a freebie:
Don't ever fall asleep in a public area of a casino, because within two minutes a security guard will be in your face, busting your chops.
It's not pretty.
On another note, not hint-related at all, if I ever get so fat that it takes me 10 minutes to walk down a 10 yard hallway, wheezing all the way while leaning (heavily, natch) on a walker, with my feet three feet apart because my thighs are so huge, either strap me to a gurney headed for the bariatric surgery center, or shoot me.
Thanks in advance, you guys rock!
prostitution is NOT LEGAL!!!!!!
I know, you'll see all the flippin' huge billboards reading "Hot Babes, Direct To You!!!" being driven around town on the back of trucks, and you'll be accosted on every corner by guys handing out fliers reading the same, but trust me on this, it's still not legal.
Head out to Nye county if you are interested in partaking of the ladies of the night, heck, the Chicken Ranch and Sheri's Ranch will even send a complimentary limo to pick you up and drive you there!
Just trying to help you out...
Here's another hint, a freebie:
Don't ever fall asleep in a public area of a casino, because within two minutes a security guard will be in your face, busting your chops.
It's not pretty.
On another note, not hint-related at all, if I ever get so fat that it takes me 10 minutes to walk down a 10 yard hallway, wheezing all the way while leaning (heavily, natch) on a walker, with my feet three feet apart because my thighs are so huge, either strap me to a gurney headed for the bariatric surgery center, or shoot me.
Thanks in advance, you guys rock!
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Tired
I love the mountains, and I love the desert.
But I have to tell you, I'm getting really tired of the city of Las Vegas.
It's just plain UGLY.
Also tacky, tawdry, with no buildings of architectural value.
Anything that might have any historical value gets imploded to make way for the newest mega-resort or high-rise condo tower.
The streets are overcrowded and the public transportation is a joke.
On the other hand, Las Vegas has enormous energy, and one can have a lot of fun here.
Also, I've found most of the locals to be very friendly and helpful (not just in the tourist areas, either!)
Coming from the East Coast, this was a welcome change!
Don't get me wrong, Las Vegas has been very good to me, and I don't see myself leaving in the foreseeable future, but I eventually want to be somewhere
green, with trees that aren't palm trees or pines, where it rains more than five times a year, where I can have space, and feel that I can breathe freely.
Sometimes I feel like I can never be completely happy, no matter where I live, but I've come pretty damn close here.
So I guess I'll stick around for a while.
But I have to tell you, I'm getting really tired of the city of Las Vegas.
It's just plain UGLY.
Also tacky, tawdry, with no buildings of architectural value.
Anything that might have any historical value gets imploded to make way for the newest mega-resort or high-rise condo tower.
The streets are overcrowded and the public transportation is a joke.
On the other hand, Las Vegas has enormous energy, and one can have a lot of fun here.
Also, I've found most of the locals to be very friendly and helpful (not just in the tourist areas, either!)
Coming from the East Coast, this was a welcome change!
Don't get me wrong, Las Vegas has been very good to me, and I don't see myself leaving in the foreseeable future, but I eventually want to be somewhere
green, with trees that aren't palm trees or pines, where it rains more than five times a year, where I can have space, and feel that I can breathe freely.
Sometimes I feel like I can never be completely happy, no matter where I live, but I've come pretty damn close here.
So I guess I'll stick around for a while.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Question
Am I the only person who worries about getting head lice while watching a movie at a theater?
I mean, think about it...you're leaning your head back against the same seat that at least a hundred other heads have leaned against...chances are that somebody who sat there previously had lice! And I guarantee you that the headrests are probably the least frequently cleaned area of the theater.
I try not to think about it, or I can't enjoy the movie.
Maybe I'll start bringing a large garbage bag with me to cover that part of the seat...
I mean, think about it...you're leaning your head back against the same seat that at least a hundred other heads have leaned against...chances are that somebody who sat there previously had lice! And I guarantee you that the headrests are probably the least frequently cleaned area of the theater.
I try not to think about it, or I can't enjoy the movie.
Maybe I'll start bringing a large garbage bag with me to cover that part of the seat...
Profound Words
My daughter Silver, a sophomore in high school, was sitting in her American Literature Honors class when the teacher stated (to the entire class), "YOU are the future of America!!"
Silver glanced around at her fellow students, one thought uppermost in her mind:
"Oh, God! We're doomed!!"
Silver glanced around at her fellow students, one thought uppermost in her mind:
"Oh, God! We're doomed!!"
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Miscellaneous
Well, I don't feel the burning desire anymore to try to recreate the eaten post verbatim, so I'll just give you the high notes.
I started my new job last Wednesday, worked Wednesday and Thursday and came in this past Monday to find out that the super nice lady who hired me, the Spa Director, was fired on Friday.
I also found out that I'm not the only person she promised a therapist position, there are at LEAST five other people (with seniority, no less) to whom she made identical promises!
Maybe she was fired for a reason...
The point is moot, anyway. Whoever gets hired to replace her is certainly under no obligation to honor her promises.
I'm definitely going to stick it out, though. If even half the people quit or transfer out of the spa who have threatened to in the past few days, I'll be sitting pretty!
Even though I can't get the image of rats deserting a sinking ship out of my head...
On another note, a lady I work with has a cold, and she irritated the hell out of me by sniffling all day. Being the courteous wench that I am, I graciously held out a tissue box to her, hoping she'd take the (oh, so subtle) hint and blow her frickin' nose!
Her reply, "Oh, no, I can't blow my nose. It would mess up my make-up!"
Just shoot me now.
Another colleague of mine told a client off today. She is a very amusing, tough as nails young lady, who happens to be 10 weeks pregnant.
She's massaging this guy, who is face down on the table, and he starts "wiggling", basically grinding his junk into the table.
She immediately removes her hands from him and asks (in a very stern voice), "Why are you moving?"
He replies sheepishly, "I'm just going with the flow..."
Therapist: "Well, DON'T, you are making me VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!
He didn't move an inch during the rest of the treatment session, not even when he was on his back on the table.
She definitely doesn't take any shit from the clients, and that's as it should be, though I'd be a little more diplomatic about it!
The hotel is very good about therapist security. Even though the customer is king, that stops when the treatment begins, if the client is an ass, that is.
My supervisor told me how a client asked at the very end of his massage, "Where's my happy ending?", possibly as a joke, and the therapist immediately broke off the session and security escorted the client out.
We just can't take any chances with our safety or our licenses, and all these losers have to do to get that kind of massage is open the phone book!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
I saw the following sign outside a conference/convention hall today:
Steel Stud Manufacturing Association
I'm sorry, but as a healthy woman with an off-kilter sense of humor, one who lives in a town where the Chippendales have their own, permanent, theater, many thoughts unrelated to metal nailheads raced through my brain.
Needless to say, quite a few of them werex-rated naughty.
C'mon, "Steel Stud"??!!
The possibilities for abuse are endless!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
What I'm reading right now:
Rereading the entire Honor Harrington series by David Weber, I'm almost finished with "War of Honor".
Absolutely excellent books which will always have a permanent place on my keeper shelf.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Take care of yourselves, folks, and have a great weekend!
(Yes, I know it's only Thursday night, but my weekend starts tomorrow, yaaaay!)
I started my new job last Wednesday, worked Wednesday and Thursday and came in this past Monday to find out that the super nice lady who hired me, the Spa Director, was fired on Friday.
I also found out that I'm not the only person she promised a therapist position, there are at LEAST five other people (with seniority, no less) to whom she made identical promises!
Maybe she was fired for a reason...
The point is moot, anyway. Whoever gets hired to replace her is certainly under no obligation to honor her promises.
I'm definitely going to stick it out, though. If even half the people quit or transfer out of the spa who have threatened to in the past few days, I'll be sitting pretty!
Even though I can't get the image of rats deserting a sinking ship out of my head...
On another note, a lady I work with has a cold, and she irritated the hell out of me by sniffling all day. Being the courteous wench that I am, I graciously held out a tissue box to her, hoping she'd take the (oh, so subtle) hint and blow her frickin' nose!
Her reply, "Oh, no, I can't blow my nose. It would mess up my make-up!"
Just shoot me now.
Another colleague of mine told a client off today. She is a very amusing, tough as nails young lady, who happens to be 10 weeks pregnant.
She's massaging this guy, who is face down on the table, and he starts "wiggling", basically grinding his junk into the table.
She immediately removes her hands from him and asks (in a very stern voice), "Why are you moving?"
He replies sheepishly, "I'm just going with the flow..."
Therapist: "Well, DON'T, you are making me VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!
He didn't move an inch during the rest of the treatment session, not even when he was on his back on the table.
She definitely doesn't take any shit from the clients, and that's as it should be, though I'd be a little more diplomatic about it!
The hotel is very good about therapist security. Even though the customer is king, that stops when the treatment begins, if the client is an ass, that is.
My supervisor told me how a client asked at the very end of his massage, "Where's my happy ending?", possibly as a joke, and the therapist immediately broke off the session and security escorted the client out.
We just can't take any chances with our safety or our licenses, and all these losers have to do to get that kind of massage is open the phone book!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
I saw the following sign outside a conference/convention hall today:
Steel Stud Manufacturing Association
I'm sorry, but as a healthy woman with an off-kilter sense of humor, one who lives in a town where the Chippendales have their own, permanent, theater, many thoughts unrelated to metal nailheads raced through my brain.
Needless to say, quite a few of them were
C'mon, "Steel Stud"??!!
The possibilities for abuse are endless!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
What I'm reading right now:
Rereading the entire Honor Harrington series by David Weber, I'm almost finished with "War of Honor".
Absolutely excellent books which will always have a permanent place on my keeper shelf.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Take care of yourselves, folks, and have a great weekend!
(Yes, I know it's only Thursday night, but my weekend starts tomorrow, yaaaay!)
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Big Day
Tomorrow's the big day...I'm starting my new job!
I'm excited, nervous, excited, scared, excited, well, you get the idea!
I will be working in a wonderful Spa on the Strip.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to perform massage until I have my license, the extremely pain-in-the-ass process of which I spoke in an
earlier post.
That's all right with me! I'll be working initially as a Spa Coordinator (fancy way of saying "receptionist"), and Spa Attendant (basically handing out towels, offering beverages and snacks, etc.)
This will afford me the excellent opportunity of really learning the ropes BEFORE I start massaging folks. So I won't feel like I'm being thrown to the wolves...this is a GOOD thing!
Anyway, it's nice to be able to share the positive stuff instead of just whining as usual.
One quick whine before I go...it's f'ing FREEZING here! This is Vegas, WTF?!
I actually hit a patch of ice driving home today...totally not prepared for that.
We even had some snow last week.
And to think I moved to Vegas to get away from shitty weather like this...
I'm excited, nervous, excited, scared, excited, well, you get the idea!
I will be working in a wonderful Spa on the Strip.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to perform massage until I have my license, the extremely pain-in-the-ass process of which I spoke in an
earlier post.
That's all right with me! I'll be working initially as a Spa Coordinator (fancy way of saying "receptionist"), and Spa Attendant (basically handing out towels, offering beverages and snacks, etc.)
This will afford me the excellent opportunity of really learning the ropes BEFORE I start massaging folks. So I won't feel like I'm being thrown to the wolves...this is a GOOD thing!
Anyway, it's nice to be able to share the positive stuff instead of just whining as usual.
One quick whine before I go...it's f'ing FREEZING here! This is Vegas, WTF?!
I actually hit a patch of ice driving home today...totally not prepared for that.
We even had some snow last week.
And to think I moved to Vegas to get away from shitty weather like this...
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Rice Krispies
As I'm getting old(er), I realize more and more that I resemble Rice Krispies.
Every time I move, I hear "SNAP, CRACKLE, AND POP"! Especially my knees.
It sucks.
Every time I move, I hear "SNAP, CRACKLE, AND POP"! Especially my knees.
It sucks.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
I think I'm in love...
Yup, he's a hero all right.
Read about this lovely man!
I guess any other suspects involved might think twice about trying something like this again!
Have a great weekend, folks.
Read about this lovely man!
I guess any other suspects involved might think twice about trying something like this again!
Have a great weekend, folks.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Finally!
Finished, finis, fertig, done!!!
I finally, finally graduated from Massage Therapy School on December 20th.
With a 4.0 average, thankyouverymuch!
I took my National Certification Examination for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork (NCETMB for "short") on January 2nd and PASSED! With high scores in every category!
I guess I'd better update my profile.
Now, I just have to go through the incredibly frustrating, expensive, all-around pain in the ass licensing process.
I have to get a state license, a Clark County License, and since I plan on doing out calls for my private practice, licenses for Henderson, North Las Vegas, and the City of Las Vegas!
And I also need to get a Health Card and Sheriff's (or Metro) Card.
The "wonderful" new state license unfortunately does not replace all the others, I have to get it in addition to them!
I'm not permitted to perform massage in my home (for pay), I can run my business OUT of my home, but am not allowed to touch anybody there (for pay).
The reason for all this crap is fairly obvious once you open the local yellow pages to the Massage section.
Here's a brief glimpse of the typical full page ads there:
"Blissful...Fantastic Asian Massage...Our Masseuses (!) will lead you to a blissful and relaxing experience...satisfaction guaranteed...hot oil rubdown...1st class full service full body massage...no rush attitude!"
"Superstars massage...excellent full body massage...treatment for kings (what about the queens!)...friendly and skilled masseuses (!)... hot oil slow caressing-secret touch...body shampoo and body scrub from head to toe"
"Awesome Asian Touch...hot oil rubdown massage...our job is to pamper you and make you RELAX from head to toe!...enjoy the tender touch of our friendly masseuses (!)"
Well, you get the idea. I must note that most of these ads are in lurid shades of pink and red, depicting cherries, lipstick (WTF?), and hearts, among other things, and also that some "masseuses" perform the "massage" in bikinis or lingerie (that's right there in the ad).
It's gotten to the point that the few legitimate therapists who advertise in the phone book actually have to put "non-sexual" in their ads, and I'm sure they still get calls requesting the other kind!
My school, and a few of my instructors especially, strongly suggested we NOT advertise in the phone book. I'm just going for referrals from my existing clientele, I'm not going to advertise at all, especially since my private practice will mostly consist of out calls (going to peoples' homes to perform the massage).
In other news, I had a fantastic Christmas with all three of my spawn, the younger two of whom I hadn't seen in a year (because of school), they are THISCLOSE to being as tall as their big sister, and I'm sure within the next six months they will surpass her.
Heh, heh, heh!
I don't know why I find this so amusing...maybe because it's karma?
I told her and told her when they were little not to pick on her baby sisters so much, because they might grow bigger than her and there are TWO of them.
Hmmm, didn't know I was psychic!
Anywho, it's time for me to order some yummy pizza and settle in for an evening of watching Silver play "Okami", it's like watching a movie!
I know, my life is all thrills and chills, innit? ;)
I finally, finally graduated from Massage Therapy School on December 20th.
With a 4.0 average, thankyouverymuch!
I took my National Certification Examination for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork (NCETMB for "short") on January 2nd and PASSED! With high scores in every category!
I guess I'd better update my profile.
Now, I just have to go through the incredibly frustrating, expensive, all-around pain in the ass licensing process.
I have to get a state license, a Clark County License, and since I plan on doing out calls for my private practice, licenses for Henderson, North Las Vegas, and the City of Las Vegas!
And I also need to get a Health Card and Sheriff's (or Metro) Card.
The "wonderful" new state license unfortunately does not replace all the others, I have to get it in addition to them!
I'm not permitted to perform massage in my home (for pay), I can run my business OUT of my home, but am not allowed to touch anybody there (for pay).
The reason for all this crap is fairly obvious once you open the local yellow pages to the Massage section.
Here's a brief glimpse of the typical full page ads there:
"Blissful...Fantastic Asian Massage...Our Masseuses (!) will lead you to a blissful and relaxing experience...satisfaction guaranteed...hot oil rubdown...1st class full service full body massage...no rush attitude!"
"Superstars massage...excellent full body massage...treatment for kings (what about the queens!)...friendly and skilled masseuses (!)... hot oil slow caressing-secret touch...body shampoo and body scrub from head to toe"
"Awesome Asian Touch...hot oil rubdown massage...our job is to pamper you and make you RELAX from head to toe!...enjoy the tender touch of our friendly masseuses (!)"
Well, you get the idea. I must note that most of these ads are in lurid shades of pink and red, depicting cherries, lipstick (WTF?), and hearts, among other things, and also that some "masseuses" perform the "massage" in bikinis or lingerie (that's right there in the ad).
It's gotten to the point that the few legitimate therapists who advertise in the phone book actually have to put "non-sexual" in their ads, and I'm sure they still get calls requesting the other kind!
My school, and a few of my instructors especially, strongly suggested we NOT advertise in the phone book. I'm just going for referrals from my existing clientele, I'm not going to advertise at all, especially since my private practice will mostly consist of out calls (going to peoples' homes to perform the massage).
In other news, I had a fantastic Christmas with all three of my spawn, the younger two of whom I hadn't seen in a year (because of school), they are THISCLOSE to being as tall as their big sister, and I'm sure within the next six months they will surpass her.
Heh, heh, heh!
I don't know why I find this so amusing...maybe because it's karma?
I told her and told her when they were little not to pick on her baby sisters so much, because they might grow bigger than her and there are TWO of them.
Hmmm, didn't know I was psychic!
Anywho, it's time for me to order some yummy pizza and settle in for an evening of watching Silver play "Okami", it's like watching a movie!
I know, my life is all thrills and chills, innit? ;)
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