Of COURSE you did!
Well, computer issues resolved (it was a crapped-out wireless router), so here I am again, boring the masses.
Just a few vignettes of spa life:
The lovely (middle-aged, white) couple from New Jersey, who come to Vegas twice a year for conventions.
The hubby always books the couples massage in the side-by-side room, always has the same (black) male therapist massage his wife, and always tries to get this therapist to agree to completely undrape his wife's ass while it is being massaged.
So he (hubby) can watch.
Of course the therapist always refuses, because he's a professional who'd like to KEEP HIS LICENSE, FOR GOD'S SAKE!
According to both therapists involved, the hubby never has his face in the face cradle, but instead always has it turned toward his wife, so he can observe the wife-massage action.
I guess it takes all kinds. One guess what this guy's (not-so-secret) fantasy is!
Then there was the guy who spent quite some time perusing the large spa menu posted just outside our door. Who then came to the front desk and asked if we had the "special" massage that apparently wasn't listed on the menu!
When told by my colleague that all offered massages were listed, he then asked her (who happens to be Korean-American), whether she was the "only Oriental gal" doing massage at our spa. He left, obviously disappointed, after she explained to him that she wasn't a massage therapist, and that she was the only person of Asian descent working there!
This, by the way, is a recurring theme at our spa!
"Special massages" and "Orientals".
Look in the goddamn yellow pages, you fucking perverts.
You'll find everything you're looking for there.
(Yes, I've decided to be not-so PG-13 anymore. Why? Because this is how I really am and because I'm a comment whore who is desperate for any kind of response to my posts...didn't you know that about me already? ;))
Oh, and a little message to the disgusting asshole who hawked a loogie on me from who-knows-which hotel room balcony as I was leaving work:
You are very lucky that I don't know who you are. I would have had a couple of buddies from security hold you down while I permanently rearranged your tackle.
If said loogie had hit my head or face instead of my shin, the consequences for you would have been fatal. I'll leave it to your imagination, but trust me when I say that anything you can imagine falls far short of my reality...
One last vignette before I sign off for tonight:
As opposed to "Artificially Santa"?
Apparently this is an organization of "real" Santas, men who have the gut, the white hair and beard, and for all I know, the twinkle in their eyes! (Probably, since this is Vegas after all, the red nose and cheeks, too...alcohol is abundant here!)
Not to mention the ho-ho-hos on every street corner! (horrible pun, I know, twenty lashes with a wet noodle for me!)
One more thing.
Let it be known that Canadians are generally horrible tippers...but they're really polite about it!