Thursday, March 29, 2007

Head Scratchin'

This morning I had an interesting encounter at the elevator.
I was trying to exit, while a very large man pushed his way on.
Whatever, I thought.
I said, "Hi!", because I tend to greet everyone I meet (I'm just like that, sue me!).
I was around the corner and the elevator doors were closing when my caffeine-less, muddled brain finally processed what this guy had said to me in return.

"Fuck you."


Well, good morning to you, too, Sunshine!

I couldn't even get angry, I was laughing too hard. I mean, who the hell just says, "Fuck you." to a total stranger?

Well, I hope whatever bug crawled up his ass decided to depart, and he had a better day.

Later on in the morning, this conversation occurred between my humble self and an innuendo-spouting guest, you know, the kinda guy who always has to find some sort of sexual connotation to everything.

Me: What size shoe do you wear? (We provide the guests with sandals for the spa, and I just KNEW what was coming!)

Guest: How about a size 15, 'cause you KNOW what they say about men with big feet! (expectant look on his face)

Me: (blandly)They need big shoes?

Guest: (hesitates, with a finger pointing at me) How about a size 9?

Me: No problem.

Me - one point
Horny guest - ZERO!!!!

Victory is mine!


Sonja said...

Ahhh yes. Perpetually stuck in the jr. high mindset. I was subbing in 6th grade the other day and a kid said "I don't have my homework, but I have a homework pass." And when I told him "Okay, give it to me," I had a bunch of sixth-graders giggling and snorting as if I'd just said the funniest thing ever.

Mauser*Girl said...

Email me your email address, would ya? :)

BO Snagley said...

Good morning.

phlegmfatale said...

what a dickhead that guy was on the elevator. I think your subconcious was protecting you from an uncomfortable situation when it didn't let you immediately recognize the offensive thing the guy said. anyway, what a jerk!!!