Sunday, December 09, 2007

Drama

As a massage therapist there are many avenues of employment open to me. I chose the spa setting because I wanted a relaxing workplace environment, one where stress stays far, far away.

I guess I shoulda read the fine print, or something.

First off, the fact that business has been glacier slow has everyone at each other's throats. Needless to say everyone's paychecks have been affected, too.

Then there was the lovely scene we had on Wednesday, where six security guards, a mix of uniformed and plainclothes, arrived to "escort" two spa employees off the property.

So long! Have a nice life!

And if anyone knows what was going on, they're not talking. Which means the gossip-mill is running overtime.

The only info we got was a memo Thursday morning, informing the spa staff that Ms.C. and Mr.A had "resigned their positions", yeah right!

To cap it all off, like the cherry on top of a shit sundae, I had to refuse a service yesterday on a lady who was four weeks pregnant (hotel policy - NO massage whatsoever during the first trimester, and this lady hadn't even seen her OB yet). Since SHE couldn't get a massage, her two friends who were booked with other therapists cancelled, too.

Ms. Popularity I ain't at the moment, though really my colleagues were very cool about it.

Outside of the spa, I've had drama galore, too. Wednesday on my way to work a guy was furiously honking at me, until I dared to roll my window down to see what was up.

Turns out my brake lights weren't working. Great. I got out of work early (it's slow, remember?) and headed over to my mechanic. They had to practically take my car apart to figure out where the burnt-out switch was ('cause of course it couldn't be something as simple as a mere light-bulb replacement), and the new switch wasn't available from the dealership until Thursday morning. There goes my Christmas money.
Plus I had to walk home from the auto-shop AND walk back the next day to pick my car up. And I was late to work, too. Of course.

Let's not forget the little tid-bit about my dogs eating my glasses. Well, almost. They did chew them up and eat the nose pieces and temples. That was Wednesday night.

Then there was the necessity of taking one of my pups to the vet. Why? Because the little shit blows himself so much his doggie pecker got stuck in the "out" position!
After two days of exposure I figured I'd better get him checked out. Now I'm in the unique position of having to use "personal lubricant" on my dog's wang if it gets stuck again, oh joy. Hey, wouldn't some people pay money for pics of that? If it's YOU, I really don't want to know...

Hope you guys are having a great weekend.

I'm not going to curse myself by saying that my weekend couldn't be any worse than the week leading up to it.

Oh, shit, too late.

*UPDATE*
Forgot to mention the fact that I jacked-up my right thumb today, too. Which makes massaging people just a wee bit difficult. Not to mention typing. A bag of frozen peas is calling my name, c-ya...

9 comments:

Joey said...

I had no idea that dogs blew themselves let along get their hog stuck in the out position.

YIKES!

Chuck said...

Damn, you're right.....talk about drama! What a week you've had, you poor thing! Have your dogs been fixed? Might stop the hard-ons if they were. My dog never gets it up and believe me, I've tried to get it there. LOL just kidding....

Christina said...

Joey, the vet said he's never heard of it! So my dog is "special". As a matter of fact, he tried to tell me at first that Tucker must have already had irritation there, so he was licking it to relieve it. I said nope, 'cause Tucker has a full-on erection and he's really going to town and humping air while he's at it. (TMI! Sorry!) Apparently the edge of the prepubice (I guess the sheath) got folded under and stuck, so his penis couldn't fully withdraw.

Chuck, they were both neutered at a very young age, but the vet said (in his utterly adorable Aussie accent), "Gender is in the brain, not the gonads." There are still plenty of hormones racing around his body at his age (ten months), so masturbation is normal and encouraged, as long as it's not to the point of trauma to the member.

Chuck said...

Five wonderful words...

"masturbation is normal and encouraged" :)

Christina said...

Yup, I thought so too...

4chun Cookie said...

Wow!! I'm dying laughing!!! I can't believe that!! Poor little guy! His little pecker must be licked raw sumtimes!!

Christina said...

Cookie, I think he "tuckered" himself out!

phlegmfatale said...

He must be bone tired after over-extending himself like that.

Christina said...

Phlegm - *cue rimshot*

Ha-ha-ha!