Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Close Encounters of the Curb Kind

The lovely Nearby Big University (NBU) I attend has a requirement for my major of either completing a portfolio or taking a Writing Proficiency Exam (WPE) to demonstrate one's, well, writing proficiency. I guess writing an essay to get INTO the program and getting A's on all my papers isn't enough.

Because I'm a transfer student, I couldn't choose the portfolio option (all papers submitted have to be from NBU, and I didn't have enough), and since I have to fulfill this requirement before taking a specific class this fall, I had to take the WPE yesterday.

So, after a day spent at the emergency vet and dealing with my injured kitty and shelling out hundreds of dollars instead of perusing the reading set and taking notes for my exam, I got up yesterday morning at 5 AM and headed to the campus super early to beat the traffic. I parked where I usually do, in the lot, and started re-reading the articles and taking notes.

Around this time, I started feeling grumbles from my gut. I tend to be a nervous test-taker, and my nerves affect my belleh in a bad way. Plus, I had eaten a LOT of watermelon the day before, which in hindsight I really regret. I realized I should head inside and find a bathroom, stat. It was pouring rain, and I didn't have an umbrella or bag with me, because we were not allowed to bring anything of the sort into the exam with us (I didn't know at the time that they had a room set aside for a bag/coat check...grrrr.)

So, for the first time since being a student at NBU, I decided to take advantage of the convenient parking garage and head inside, out of the rain.

Since I'd been sitting in the car for over half an hour, all my windows were fogged up. I adjusted the vents to blow on the windshield and rolled the windows down, but the windshield wasn't completely clear as I inched my way carefully through the garage. The lower level was pretty much packed already, so I decided to head to the upper level, which was closer to the exam room anyway.

As I swung around the curve onto the ramp, I heard a horrible grinding sound and my car shuddered to a halt...the gray walls and gray floor and gray windshield had conspired to hide the existence of the low (GRAY!) curb which divided the up ramp from the down ramp. And I had managed to drive up said curb and firmly lodge my tiny car on it. I was pinned like a bug in some sadistic entomologist's collection and wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

After a circus involving using the emergency call box to get campus police out (no cell phone service in the garage), campus maintenance, the crappy jack that came with my car, and my mega-awesome, gigantic maglite, my car was un-stuck, deemed safe to drive (no pieces/parts falling off, no suspicious leaks or puddles), and I finally found a bathroom. I also made it to my exam with time to spare.

Honestly, it will be a miracle if I passed.

P.S. once the curb was car-free, it was shown to have a round hump at its end, with a hole in it. You know, a hole perfect for a pole with some kind of SIGN warning about the existence of the fucking curb?! I wonder how long said pole lasted before some poor sap in an SUV mowed it down...


Eseell said...

Good luck!

Weer'd Beard said...

In a very tight parking lot I managed to do some automotive gymnastics and get my truck nosed out of the lot...except I didn't see that guard rail, and I dragged that sum'bitch from my driver's-side door jam all the way to the back wheel well.

Took about 4 hours with a rubber hammer to clean out most of those dents. Man I felt like shit that day!

SCI-FI said...

That curb had it coming...