Monday, July 27, 2009


I massaged a very nice lady this afternoon, whose fingers were adorned with two-inch acrylic nails.

One burning question was running through my mind throughout the massage:

How the hell can you wipe your ass with claws like that?!

Also, and completely unrelated: If you're dragging your huge-ass suitcase through a crowded hotel, BE CAREFUL OF OTHER PEOPLE.

Don't ram your suitcase into someone's leg and keep moving without even apologizing. And don't act like you don't know what happened, when the rammee is hopping up and down while letting loose a string of profanity that's turning the air blue and setting your hair on fire. Thank you.


Buck said...

Wiping one's ass with hella-long fingernails is but ONE question. innit? I've read the ancient Chinese mandarins (small "M") grew exceedingly long nails as a status symbol... to show they couldn't do anything for themselves, even if they had a mind to. "I've got people for that..." Heh.

Edward said...

Another day in paradise, huh?

phlegmfatale said...

I've always wondered about the wiping, too.


Christina RN LMT said...

Buck, sorta like they bound the high-class women's feet. To show that THEIR womenfolk didn't need to be able to walk around.

Ed, you know it's true!

Phlegmmy, I see your "Ew" and raise it with a "GROSS!"

Roismhaire said...

Maybe they're French and have a fountain of water wash their arse for them.
I used to work in an hotel in Jersey, a wee island off the coast of France, and I had to clean bidets. Yep. Arse cleaning equipment cleaner extraordinaire - that's on my resume!

Christina RN LMT said...

Well, it's an honorable profession, Roismhaire!
She wasn't French, either. Ugh. She was actually from Arizona. Very nice lady, just freaked me out with those claws.

Miz Minka said...

Maybe she uses those wipes on a stick that they know...for people whose arms are too short. Um...