Wednesday, July 22, 2009

D'oh!

If you're going to read a smutty novel, and stop reading right in the middle of a particularly juicy sex scene, it might behoove one to keep better track of said book, and not leave it at the movie theater concession stand. Oh, and if you do leave said book, don't use one of your business cards as a bookmark, doofus!

15 comments:

Ambulance Driver said...

Was Buck almost ready to plunge his turgid, quivering manhood deep into Vanessa's velvety sheath?

Were her full, womanly breasts heaving beneath her flimsy, translucent bodice as she breathlessly savored the rough feel of his workman's hands as they devoured her willing flesh?

Will Buck and Vanessa ever get a chance to do the nasty, or will Christina never find her book, leaving them poised there on page 157, one mighty thrust away from consummating their forbidden love for one another?

Dun dun duunnn...

Christina LMT said...

Ambulance Driver, what have YOU been reading?! Or writing, for that matter...?

I was reading a vampire/werewolf novel penned by a former erotica author. One who still has a VERY fine grasp of the best turn of phrase for sex scenes. No purple prose here! I can't stand books like that, usually. I just roll my eyes at 'em.

I still read romance novels, and I'm not ashamed of it, either. But my standards are very high.

And I did get my book back, and hope to God the pimply-faced youth who handed it to me never cracked it open!

Kevin said...

I remember once as a kid my mom left a Harold Robbins book out, and being curious I flipped through a few pages. It was a real eye-opener, for sure.

Christina LMT said...

Kevin, I can imagine! I had two older brothers, and unfortunately they left their "reading material" out where a nosy little sister could easily access it. Kama Sutra, Delta of Venus, numerous Hustler, Penthouse, and Playboy...all read by the age of 13 or so. Talk about an education!

Dick said...

I neeed to put some serious sex into my new book.

Christina LMT said...

Dick, there can never be too much sex in a book. Good call.

Buck said...

Was Buck almost ready to plunge his turgid...

I had no part in this. Srsly. Erm... lately.

Suldog said...

No use lying, Buck. We've heard about you and Vanessa.

Christina LMT said...

Buck, YOU'RE the one who brought it up, so now it's fair game! I did laugh when I read AD's vignette...;)

So, just who is this hussy Vanessa, anyway? Why haven't you blogged about her, hmmm?

Suldog, you need to pester him a little, okay? I want details.

Brigid said...

I remember once as a kid, Mom was reading one of those "Bodice Ripper? romance novels, which were suddenly the rage. She was gasping and going "oh my, oh my this is JUST SMUT. OMG, I'm going to throw this out. . . .just as soon as I'm done reading it.

Even better, I catch my dad, reading same book a couple of weeks later, as Pirate Brandon brandishes his "love sword" Dad's going. "OMG, this is just garbage, This is PORN. . I'm going to throw it out!. . as soon as I'm finished reading it.

Christina LMT said...

*LOL*

Brigid...they had to see just how bad it could get, right? ;)

Buck said...

A gentle man never tells tales out of school. Unless he happens to be writing romance novels... or bodice-rippers, or whatever they're called. Or letters to his beloved while deployed. I should scan some of those, mayhap. (Heh. "nevah hoppen, Gee-Eye")

Buck said...

Hmmm. Overactive spacebar. I meant gentleman, of course.

10% said...

Vamp/werewolf pseudoerotica? Sounds like an Anita Blake/Laurel Hamilton novel.

If so substitute dusky orbs and turgid members for male tripods and a little light S&M.

Christina LMT said...

Buck, you are a true gentleman!

10%, while I do very much enjoy all of Laurell Hamilton's books, in this case I was reading Emma Holly. She writes very straightforward sex scenes. Good ones.