Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Invisible

Tonight was NOT a good night at the NY-NY casino. I made five whole dollars. Not only that, but for the first time the smoke really affected me. Half-way through my shift my eyes were bloodshot, burning, and tearing. I think it was the large number of cigars being smoked that did it.

The worst thing was the sense of being invisible. Usually, even if folks are disinterested, they'll at least make eye contact and say, "No, thank you." Tonight, I (mostly) received no acknowledgment at all. It was very depressing, to say the least. By the end of my shift, fatigue and discouragement lent the scene a surreal quality. All the noise of the machines, the lights and drifting smoke combined to disorient me.
Patrons resembled automatons, mechanically punching buttons and pulling levers. I walked the aisles between the slots, cheerily chirping, "Massage - Massage?" To no avail. I truly was invisible.

It was heavenly to get home and be greeted so wildly and enthusiastically by my dogs. I finally felt solid and connected. Acknowledged. Visible.

4 comments:

Buckskins Rule said...

Illegitimi non carborundum

We can't all be on top of our game all the time, right? Don't let one bad day get you down.

Christina LMT said...

Thank you, B.R. I'll be fine, I was really tired and discouraged last night, but this too shall pass!

Buck said...

Ya, what Buckskins said. There are good days and bad days... the best we can hope for is the former outnumber the latter.

And Good On Your puppehs. It really IS true: "The only unconditional love you'll receive in this life comes from your dog(s)." (Don't ask me how I know...)

Christina LMT said...

Thanks, Buck. My dogs are the best, really. :)