Me: So, are there any areas you'd like me to focus on?
Client: Oh, absolutely!
*looks at me expectantly*
Me,thinking: Oh, I'm so sorry, my powers of telepathy seem to be on the fritz at the moment!
Me: And these areas would be...?
Client: Shoulders and neck!
Me: Let's get started then.
Second Conversation (verbatim!)
I'm working on a male client from Arkansas, have just started massaging his back
Client: Excuse me, Miss? Would you mind massaging my butt?
Me, thinking: And would you like some Grey Poupon with that?
*Sorry, just recently re-watched "Wayne's World"!*
Me: No problem, it's a full-body massage!
*My inner snark is improving!*