Sunday, October 17, 2010

Shut down. Cold.

My sometimes-nemesis at work, LINDA, has been harassing everyone at the spa to sign up for some lovely "business opportunity" (aka "pyramid scheme"), and she had yet to tackle me. Maybe she was saving the best for last? Who knows what goes on in the mind of LINDA. Anyway, she was getting ready to leave, while I was futzing around on my laptop, with our colleague Elisha also sitting at the table in the breakroom, texting away.

I felt LINDA looming next to me and glanced over to see her officiously holding a clipboard and poised pen.

"Christina, would you mind giving me your cellphone number?"

"Yes."

"Okay!" (Pen still poised, ready to write.) "Oh, you mean you would mind giving me your number?"

"YES."

"Um, do you have an email address?"

"Yes. But I'm not going to give it to you, and I'm not interested in your 'business opportunities', either."

(Sputtering now.) "But, but what if I need to get in touch with you?"

"For WHAT?"

"Spa business?"

"The spa has my number."

Finally vanquished, she retreated in disarray, slinking off to wherever LINDA lurks when not annoying me.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Elisha burst out laughing, "That was AWESOME!"

I demurred, explaining how hard it had been for me to overcome early indoctrination in people-pleasing politeness.

Elisha said with a smile, "That it was so hard for you makes it even MORE awesome!"

"Well, I'm forty years old. If I haven't learned by now how to stick to my guns, I might as well pack it in.

"You have ten years on me, that gives me a decade to grow some big, brass, Christina-Balls!"

For which I had no reply but laughter.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol

everyone fears the CLANG CLANG of the giant Christina-Balls

LMAO

b

Christina LMT said...

Damn skippy. You can hear me coming a mile away. :)

Bag Blog said...

Back in NM, there was a couple at our church who were part of the "in crowd." I had known them forever, but we ran in different circles. One day out of the blue they called to invite us to dinner. I was awed, and said yes. Then they mentioned a pyramid scheme sales thang. I can't begin to tell you the thoughts that went through my mind, but I told them we were not interested in their sales scheme and we did not go to dinner with them - ever.

Stick to your guns and shoot if you have to.

SCI-FI said...

Wait... you have brass balls?

(I start furiously rethinking your Christmas present...)

phlegmfatale said...

...and Christina Balls are covered in awesomesauce!!!

Christina LMT said...

Lou, that was very brave of you. I can only imagine how difficult that was...

SCI-FI, I am intrigued...what were you planning on gifting me with?!

Phlegmmy, that's so SWEET! :)

Julie said...

well done!!!!!

Christina LMT said...

Thank you, Ma'am!

Farmmom said...

That was fantastic! You just made my day!

Christina LMT said...

Love you, 'mom!

Lawyer said...

Good for you! At my previous job, one of my duties was to hold those people off. That stuff is a sticky, stinky mess.

Lissa said...

You would not BELIEVE the number of calls one gets on a new house phone that went a whole day without Do Not Call registering. I'm such a coward -- I just let it ring through. Hey, that's why God invented Caller ID.

Christina LMT said...

Lawyer, I don't envy you your previous job! Sounds like a nightmare.

Lissa, I don't blame you one tiny bit! I'd have done exactly the same. :)

K. Erickson said...

Okay, a woman telling another woman she has awesome sauce on her brass balls...there is something inherently WRONG about that visual.

Christina LMT said...

Says YOU! :D

Mike W. said...

Chocolate salty balls? I didn't know they came with sauce.

Christina LMT said...

Mmmmm, creamy goodness! Just ask Chef!

memory_lucky12 said...

O.O I read through the comments and it's all about BALLS. Covered in awesome sauce. Wow, the admiration! Anyways, that sounded pretty awesome, what you did.

Buck said...

I'm with The Daughter. I admire the chutzpah and think ya most definitely did the right thing... but the visuals I get where balls, women, and awesomesauce are combined in the same package are disturbing. Yeah, that IS a personal problem. I suppose. ;-)

TallyAngel said...

Buck and Twin I agree with y'all! You kick ass Mom!

Christina LMT said...

Thank you, thank you! *bows modestly*