Friday, September 24, 2010

Screeching brakes...

So I was at work yesterday until 7 PM. I had NOTHING scheduled, so I was working for free. (Yay. NOT.)

Right at 6 I got a walk-in. Just a thirty-minute back, neck, and shoulder massage. As I read the client's intake sheet, two things stood out. One, she was just twenty, and two, in the space next to "are you pregnant", she'd left "yes" and "no" uncircled and had written in "might be"...

I collected her from the lobby and escorted her back to the treatment room. She was gorgeous and so heart-breakingly young. She looked like a baby to me.

I was thinking as I massaged her, "This girl is MUCH too young to even be daydreaming about having children, what was she thinking?! She's less than a year older than Silver!"

Suddenly my train of thought came to a screeching halt..."Waitaminute! When *I* was her age, I was married and pregnant! I (felt like I) was a grown-up and knew everything there was to know about life. Who the fuck am I to be judging her?"

I finished the massage and silently wished her the best of luck with her "maybe" pregnancy.

A reality check now and then is beneficial in silencing our inner asshole.

16 comments:

Old NFO said...

Good point, but your POV was as a momma there for a few minutes too :-)

Lissa said...

LOL. At 30 I'm just starting to contemplate having kids. I mentioned that to a family friend (age 23) the other day; she blurted out, "WHAT? But you're so young! We're still, like, children!"

Bag Blog said...

I had my first baby at age 21. I was just a baby myself and yes, I thought I knew lots. Yet, it was what was right for me - maybe not for others.

Christina LMT said...

NFO, you have a point as well. I keep forgetting that I often have my "mom" hat on!

Lissa, 30 is a very good age for kids, as long as you're READY for 'em. Heh, when I was 30, all three of my kids were in school already...
On the other hand, my oldest brother didn't have his first child until he was 40. His oldest and my oldest started school the same day...his Kindergarten, mine college!

Exactly, Lou. Everyone is different. Naturally our experiences shape us. Silver told me that there were plenty of kids at her college freshman orientation who were flummoxed that she'd flown up there by herself and took care of everything there alone. Of course, we stayed in touch by cell and skype...it was a good experience for both of us. Empty nest dry-run!

Sarah said...

Mom was twenty-one and had been married for all of ten and a half months when I came along. When I was that age, I couldn't even begin to imagine having kids - and still can't even though I'm turning twenty-nine next month.

Christina LMT said...

Sarah, my daughter Silver feels the same way. Actually, she doesn't want to have any kids, ever. We'll see...

Mike W. said...

I'm ambivalent whole kids thing. I mean I LOVE my nephews, but I get to bring them back to their parents when I'm done with them.

If they popped out already able to talk & use the crapper on their own I'd find the idea much more amenable.

Christina LMT said...

Mike, you literally made me LOL.
For me, it was far easier as a parent when they were infants. Once they became mobile and able to talk is when I started having issues... Now I find that the older they get, the more I enjoy being with them. Let's face it, reading the same book as your kids and being able to have a discussion about it, or having a spirited discussion about politics sure beats watching yet another soul-and-mind-destroying episode of "Barney the Dinosaur"!

Buck said...

Ah, kids. Gotta love 'em, but I'm with you when ya say discussing politics (while drinking beer and smokin' cigars) is MUCH better than Barney. Having your fingernails pulled out one by one would be better than watching Barney, but leave me not digress.

Your comment about "inner asshole" struck a chord. Mine just REFUSES to be silenced, tho, and makes his appearance known all too often.

Christina LMT said...

My inner asshole is named "Barbara". Oddly enough, that was my mother's name...

Bob S. said...

LOL, I really lucked out

If they popped out already able to talk & use the crapper on their own I'd find the idea much more amenable.

When we married, our kids were 6, 8 and 12. I rarely refer to them as step kids but I missed out on the whole diaper and milk puke era.

Now I've got wonderful kids who discuss politics, cooks wonderful meals to comfort SWLMMHCEM and can work on our computers.

Christina LMT said...

You *are* a very lucky man, Bob, for many, many reasons. The truly remarkable thing about you is that you're also aware of how lucky and blessed you are. It's beautiful to see. Your children are lucky to have you as a dad.

Mike W. said...

It's funny, from my blog you might think my inner asshole makes an appearance often but that's not the case.

You've got to really push me for him to come out. Hell if anything he minds his own business too often.

For me, it was far easier as a parent when they were infants. Once they became mobile and able to talk is when I started having issues.

haha, well you're the expert. I just have an aversion to shitty diapers and crying babies. I guess that's a sign that I'm not ready for kids.

That said, my brother had my oldest nephew at age 20. Hard to believe that kid will be in high school in a year. He's already giving me shit for being single. (he has much to learn...)

Christina LMT said...

My inner asshole also only emerges on my blog. I'm too nice sometimes. :D

If you're not ready, you're not ready, and you're smart to be aware of that.

Shannon said...

I had all 4 of my kids between 20 & 30 - it felt like unending chaos while I was going through it. However, at almost 39 now, I am ever so glad I did while I was that young.

Christina LMT said...

Shannon, there are definitely upsides to it. Having a sophomore in college at age forty it pretty cool, I must admit. ;)