Epic. Party.

Well, I had a fantastic evening! You know why? Because it really looked like my guests were having a fantastic evening, and that's what really matters. :)

Plenty of food and drink, TONS of great conversation, lots of laughter, mix well, and you have the recipe for a good time.

Add guns, and you have a fantastic party for gun bloggers!

Did I mention yet that I OWN A GUN NOW????!!!!!

I received the most fabulous hostess gift EVAR: a .22 rifle from Ambulance Driver, for which I actually have plenty of ammo, coincidentally. And there just happens to be a range here in town...
Oh, and you could hear my shout of "I HAVE A GUN!!!" probably all the way in California...and only a group of gun bloggers would respond to that shout with cheers and applause. :)

I'm relieved, because now I know the State of Texas won't throw me out...I was starting to worry.

Anyway, the party wasn't over until around 3:00 AM, I didn't get to bed until 4:30, what with cleaning up and such (LEFTOVERS RULE!), and soon I'll be at the range, plinking away at targets. Life is very good.

Thank you to all of my wonderful guests, and those absent friends who called, texted, and IMed to wish us a good time. You are all so much appreciated!

Today

is a very special day!

It's SCI-FI's birthday!

It's also Roismhaire's birthday!

Happy birthday, you two! I hope you have a very wonderful one. :)

---

Oh, I believe I'm having a party this evening, as well.

Say it ain't so!!!

You are 31% hippie.

 

You're not in the lowest bracket of non-hippie-hood, but you're close. I advise a field trip to a food co-op or a farmer's market. Do a few interviews and take notes, because there will be a quiz next week to see if you've learned anything.

Are you a hippie?
Take More Quizzes

Okay, I'm lactose intolerant! I drink soy milk! That doesn't make me a hippie!

I really want to know...

why a man would have a gigantic tattoo of his own first name across his upper back, from shoulder to shoulder. Anyone know? Anyone? Bueller?

Also, I've given this Massage Protip before, but it bears repeating: if you indicate to me that your entire hip hurts, from your lower back into your hamstring, and you request me to focus on this area, TAKE YOUR FUCKING UNDERWEAR OFF. There's only so much I can do if I have to work through the sheet. I've seen it all before, your ass is not special. Thank you.

One more week!

Until my big shindig/blogmeet/potluck!

If anyone still needs directions, email me! Lucrativepain@yahoo.com. See, that was easy!

Good News!

Last week, I had a problem finishing my long essay on the Werewolf Legend. I had a long, hard day at work on Saturday, and I didn't get home until 8 PM, and the essay was due at 11. I worked on it until 11:15, then threw in the towel and went to sleep. I set my alarm for 3:30 AM, got up and worked on the essay until right before I had to leave for work, and submitted it to the prof at 7:50 AM.

I'm a grown-up. I had read the syllabus and knew that the professor didn't accept any late work nor any excuses. I figured even if I got no credit, at least he'd see that I had completed the assignment. When I received an email from him later that Sunday, stating that he was sorry I submitted the essay too late to grade, I was not surprised, but I thanked him and told him I'd do better.

Imagine my shock and joy to see an email waiting in my inbox this morning, saying he'd reconsidered and was giving me credit for the essay (with the addendum, "Don't expect me to ever be this generous again." Duly noted, Sir!) I got tons of points taken off because of the tardiness of my submission, but a 68 is far better than a ZERO.

I firmly believe he did this because I didn't whine and beg like a titty-baby, nor make lame excuses, nor complain to the department head, etc. Whatever his reason, I'm very grateful and VERY determined not to make the same mistake again!

That being said, I'd better get to work on my next essay, due tomorrow night at 11 PM...

My camera's batteries died...

but not before I filmed some incredible cuteness: KITTENS NURSING!

The two kittens with collars are the ones I'm adopting in a few weeks, Bruiser and Pipsqueak. The kittens will be eight weeks old this Wednesday.

Just before the video ends, you can hear Pipsqueak's distinctive, high-pitched "mew", which gave her her name:



So precious!
The best thing is that they're old enough to purr now. Gotta love the little, purring engines. :)

Overheard inside a treatment room...

Clueless Client (C.C.): Yeah, so my nephew used to do this when he was in college.

Elisha: Oh, what's that?

C.C.: He used to do massage. Then he got a REAL job.

Elisha (blink blink): Hm. Oh, really?!

C.C.: I didn't mean it THAT way!!

Elisha: ... (thinking: RIIIGHT! Asshole.)

---

I really can't make this shit up.

Two more weeks...

until my shindig/potluck/blogmeet/party!!!!!

Mark your calendars, Folks. Friday, July 30th beginning at 7 PM (but really, you can show up earlier if you like, I'll be here. :))

I'm nervous and excited, since I've never thrown a party like this. Hope y'all can make it out to visit, email me at lucrativepain@yahoo.com for address and directions.

I can't wait!

Ass-kicking

My own, that is. I'm referring to the class I'm currently taking, English Composition II, which I had no concerns about when I enrolled, but which is now making me want to rip my hair out. In chunks.

Anyway, extremely light to nonexistent blogging for the foreseeable future, and I'm sorry for my girls having to listen to me whine so much. They think it's funny, though, so I guess it's okay!

Silly Gun Poem

I felt like playing. :)

EvylRobot started it:

Black and blocky
was the Glocky
that did slay
the Jabberwocky.

Followed by Jennifer:

Asked did he
upon demise
What could be
the caliber size.

Sarah* continued with:

Jabberwockies, so hard to slay,
will go down if they are shot
with a round starting with “four”
and bearing the name Gold Dot.

Even though I wasn't tagged, I felt moved to write the following:

The Jabberwock, not known for wit
is easy to be stalked.
You merely find a place to sit
and leave him to be Glocked.

He comes galumphing, trailing drool
and doesn't glance my way.
Oh, shit! No Vorpal-ammo, Fool!
He lives to die another day.

Anyone up for more verses? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

---

*Sarah can be found in my sidebar, under "Cranky Chicks with Guns", but blogger won't let me link in the body of the post.
Feel free to continue the epic!

---

Lissa, at "Looking for Lissa" in my blogroll (blogger just doesn't like wordpress links, Y'all!), composed the following in comments:

And as in uffish thought she stood,
The Goblin-wock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the front-door wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! NOT through-and-through
My lil' Siguette went snicker-snack!
The four nine-mil's quite turned its head
And put him on his back.

She's quite awesome, isn't she?

I give up.

It really sucks when you've waited with bated breath for a book to come out, then waited some more to purchase it and savored the anticipation of reading it, only to be completely disappointed when you finally get to sink your teeth into it.

See, you can't exactly sink your teeth into fluff, now can you?

I'm a faithful Laurell K. Hamilton reader. I've been a huge fan of her "Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter" series from the very beginning. She CREATED the paranormal suspense genre, which has spawned so many imitators and competitors.

But she totally jumped the shark for me with her latest entry into the series, "Bullet".

If Anita Blake has to fuck one more were-ANYthing, her goddamn coochie should fall off. She should be permanently bow-legged, and damn if she can get anything done, what with all the orgies she *has* to participate in. For the good of humanity, of course. It's all bound up in her magic. Whatever. If I want to read porn ("erotica", if you will), I'll read porn, online, for free. Or I'll read some vintage Emma Holly, an author who KNOWS her stuff, and can really rev my engine. I don't have to spend 20 bucks to read about my former favorite supernatural crime-fighter fucking her way through St. Louis' (and the rest of America's, for that matter) Were community. Sex-sex-sex-FIGHT-sex-sex-sex-MAGIC-sex-sex-sex-PARTY-sex-sex-sex-FIGHT...*yawn*

If I still had my WalMart receipt, I'd take this pile of feces back and get a refund. I think I'll donate it to my local library, instead. Let somebody else try to get some enjoyment from this book. You never know, stranger things have happened!

Too good to be true...

So, I made the big announcement about my days being doubled at the spa, right? Things were looking up, remember? Well, the day after the spa informed us of the happy news, my spa manager gave her two weeks' notice, which will eventually leave us with only one front desk person, Bri, who of course can't be expected to work seven days a week.
So, until a new part-time person is hired and trained, the spa is going to continue to open Wednesday-Sunday, leaving me again with only the weekends to work.

Sheesh, I can't seem to get ahead! Add to that the Malfunction Indication Light glaring at me from my car's dash, and you have a recipe for a very unhappy Christina.
Oh, and my English Comp II class started today...with an essay due this very night. Submitted with four minutes, three seconds to spare, and a bigger load of crap you've never seen. Wonder what grade I'll get for manure...

ANYWAY, still had a great day today, took the kiddos to the zoo, post with pics to follow, and we're going to the water park tomorrow...NO PICS! LOL. Hope y'all are out there having fun, stay out of the sun, stay hydrated, and all that jazz!

WTF, over?!

I dunno, but it would make sense to me, if the State of Texas knew that a particular driver had a history of blackouts, WHILE DRIVING, for said State of Texas to perhaps YANK SAID DRIVER'S LICENSE!!!!

The stupid, it burns and all that.

Epic Fourth...

This past Sunday, on Independence Day, my girls picked me up when I got off work and we headed down the highway toward Elsewhere, Texas, home of the lovely Phlegm Fatale and her beau, LawDog.

I could list all the fun stuff we did, but my twins have done such a stupendous job of it already, anything I added would be superfluous. Except neither of them mentioned LawDog's awesome chicken tortilla soup, of which we partook shortly after our arrival. OMNOMNOMNOM is all I'm sayin'...

Thank you, Phlegmmy and LawDog, for being very special, kind and generous people! It's an honor and a pleasure knowing you, and we had a blast! :)

woo-HOO!

I can't believe I forgot to mention this, but my hours at the spa have been doubled! I'll now be working Sat-Tue, so I'll be making more money, thank goodness. And I finally had some clients at the salon last week, too! Things are definitely looking up in that area. And it's only going to get better, because I say so. ;)

Special...

In the past week, I've worked on two different ladies celebrating their respective wedding anniversaries. One lady has been married for FIFTY years, and the other FIFTY-FIVE!!!! Incredible. They're both still happy, in love, grateful.

It can be done. This gives me hope that there's someone out there, even for me.
As we say in Germany, every pot has its matching lid!

Only I...

...could somehow manage to nick a nipple while shaving my thigh.

*sigh*

Well, it got in the way! It needs to learn how to dodge stray razors, is all I'm sayin'. And it bled like a sonofabitch. Let THAT be a lesson to it. Or me. Or something.

And FYI? It's fucking difficult to put a band-aid on a tiny cut on one's nipple, so that it is effective, anyway.

Happy Independence Day!!!

I proudly show my colors, how about you?




Hope y'all are out having a good one.

Comment of the day...

at work, from an 80-year-old retired school teacher, after her massage:

"If I were to grade you, you'd get an A+!"

Really made my day. Especially since she repeated it to my spa manager. :)

Going to Cabela's...

...makes me wet.

Seriously, just walking across the parking lot towards the store, where I would be able to fondle all the lovely handguns, was sufficient.

Stupid rain. Should have brought my umbrella.

Say what?!

The following sign greeted me as I entered my local grocery store:

GIANT PRIMAL MEAT SALE! COMING SOON!

"Primal meat"?!

I don't think I really want to know...