Saturday, October 31, 2009

Avast, me Hearties...




Ye'd better have a Happy Halloween...or I'll make ye walk the plank!


Interesting Legal Development

I received the following email from my lawyer a few days ago:


FYI- I spoke to the attorney for Richland the other day and explained our circumstance and that we may have to sue others to get relief for you. He told me he has another case for Richland involving the EXACT SAME situation! Apparently, you're not alone!

Denise (name redacted), Esq.

Fascinating, isn't it? It would be very interesting to find out whether the other lady used the same surrogacy agency as me, because that would certainly indicate a pattern. We might only be the tip of the iceberg!

Friday, October 30, 2009

A tip for panhandlers:

If you approach my car and ask me for change, and I tell you, "Sorry, no," do NOT flip me off, okay? You giving me the finger is not going to induce me to magically change my mind and hand over some money to you, nor is it likely to influence any other motorists who might have observed your gesture to be more generous than I.

Just some helpful advice.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Now it's time to VOTE!

Okay, People. You have until tonight at 11:00 PM EASTERN to vote for your favorite haiku at All Atwitter! No, this is most certainly NOT a bleg for you to vote for my entry, I didn't even vote for my own haiku!

Read all the submissions, then choose your very favorite and vote for it. I'll be honest: I voted for Phlegm Fatale's, and not because she's my bestest friend, either.

Enjoy reading, and maybe you'll be inspired to participate next week...(see how diabolically clever I am? Muahahahahahahaha...)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Go! Participate!

In Sparrow's weekly haiku contest!

The winner gets to choose a military service member and Sparrow will send a deluxe care package to him/her. What a wonderful lady she is!

Not to mention it's ART. Haiku, I mean. So do something for your brain at the same time.

You have until 10 PM Eastern tonight to submit your haiku, so get cracking, Peeps!

I <3 Business Cards...

My day was looking rather bleak when I came into work earlier, I had not a single appointment booked. I was futzing around on the computer in my room, psyching myself up to go exercise despite a lack of motivation, when Alicia knocked on my door and told me I had a 9 AM appointment.

Furthermore, she told me the client had booked two 50-minute Swedish massages back-to-back, as it was cheaper for him to do that (due to a special we're running), than to have an 80-minute Swedish, as he had originally planned. So, one hour and forty minutes of light-to-medium pressure, full body massage. Piece of cake!

Icing on this cake? Alicia told me he had requested me by name!

Turns out I massaged him back in February, and he managed to hang onto my business card the entire time since then.

He's also a very good tipper!

What lesson did you take away from today's story, children?


Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Turns out my roommate is having a little feud with our next-door neighbor. Or maybe I should say our neighbor is feuding with my roommate!

I was at WalMart yesterday evening when I got a call from Keith, my roommate. I heard some voices and a LOT of barking in the background. He said, "Animal Control is here. Where do you keep Harley's and Tucker's rabies tags?"

After I told him where their collars were, he ended the call with no further explanations, and I wrapped up my shopping as quickly as I could and headed home.

Everything was quiet when I got there, including Keith, who was quietly seething.

The neighbor called Animal Control and reported him for having "Fifteen dogs, all jammed into that tiny house!" Which was a lie, by the way. There were only eight dogs in the house at the time, and five of them were OURS. Stupid bint.

The visit by Animal Control was actually anticlimactic. They didn't expect him to let them inside the house, but he did. He also immediately produced his business license for them to peruse, which spiked their guns quite nicely. They also commented on how clean the house was, for having so many dogs in it. Well, YEAH. Hello? It's his business, and he's extremely organized and fanatical about cleanliness, despite being something of a slob personally. (No offense, Keith!)

What I'm worried about is that Keith not only gets mad, he also gets even. This was merely the opening salvo in a resurgence of a battle between him and our neighbor, one I was unaware of.

He has already retaliated in one way: He has security cameras outside the house, and he showed the nice Animal Control officers footage of our neighbor's Lab, off-leash, crapping in our front yard. Which our neighbor did not pick up, of course. This means two citations for her.

I'm really afraid this is going to get ugly, fast.

I'll keep you all posted if anything else happens.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Does this blog make me look old?

Yes, People: It's my third Blogiversary!

Three years ago today, I started this modest little blog, and modest and little it has stayed. And that's just fine by me!

Just think...three years on the internet is like three decades in real life! Sorta like dog years...;)

Thank you to all my readers for sticking by me and reading my ramblings, you make it all worthwhile.

Here's to another three years! (At least...)

Friday, October 23, 2009

Quick Legal Update

Answer and Counterclaim filed.

Next up: Demand letters...muahahahahahaha!

To quote a friend:

That is all.

The best things in life are free...

and that goes DOUBLE for coffee!

I walked into my local Stop 'N' Rob for my morning coffee, and found the manager singing along with Olivia Newton John to "Hopelessly Devoted to You" from the Grease soundtrack.

I, nothing loath, immediately chimed in, and we sang to end of the song together as I filled up my travel mug with coffee.

Apparently this charmed said manager sufficiently enough to tell me, "This one's on me!" when I walked up to the register to pay!

Never thought my pipes would earn me a dime, much less a cup of coffee...can I call myself a professional singer now? ;)

A question and NOT FUN!

First the it bad to have a handful of screws left over after you install a car stereo?

NOT FUN: when the car door closes on your ankle.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


from a chat with my daughter:

ZOMG...they're ORCS!!

Bonus points to whoever gets the reference.

Got Haiku?

Head over to Sparrow's place and enter her weekly haiku's for a wonderful cause.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Seen on the casino floor

A woman wearing a t-shirt stating:


Excellent post, Jay

THIS is why he runs with the big dogs.

Go, read JayG's post on why gun control will always fail to reduce violence.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


Remember, I give every client one of my business cards after their massage...

I'm putting clean sheets on the table in a treatment room right after my last massage of the day, when a male guest in a robe, sipping coffee, stops in the doorway and eyes me...

Guest: Hi, are you the manager?

Me (laughing): No!

Guest: Well, there's a business card back in the men's spa that says "Christina - Manager"...

Me (charitably): Maybe you read it name is Christina LastName.

Guest: No, it said "Christina LastName - MANAGER"!

Me: I doubt that, I'm sure it said "Christina LastName - Massage Therapist". We have a spa director and a supervisor, no manager. And I'm happy being an Indian, I don't want to be a chief!

Guest: "LastName"...where's that from?

Me: It's Dutch.

Guest: Oh, that's cool...

Guest (abruptly): Is that your natural hair color?

Me (blink, blink): Uh, hair is brown, it's just colored a bit auburn right now.

Guest: And you have green eyes?

Me: No, they're BLUE.

Guest: Well they look green!

Me: Must be my shirt...

Guest: You know, you're pretty good looking.

Me (laughing nervously): Well, thank you!

Guest walks away

Never a dull moment, I tell you...

Friday, October 16, 2009

An Experiment

Last night was something of an experiment for me. I'm not used to going to the movies by myself, and had in fact been resisting doing so since I left Silver in North Dakota. Anyone who knows me well will realize how unnatural it is for me to go so long without visiting the movie theater...I LOVE going to the movies and enjoy everything about the experience. (Except for how ridiculously expensive everything is...)

Instead of spending the evening sitting in my skivvies in front of the computer, surfing the 'net, I dolled myself up and went out.

I headed to the Red Rock Casino, where I saw "Zombieland" at the Regal Cinemas there.
VERY funny movie, see my previous post. And while I certainly missed seeing Silver's reaction to stuff, and missed our quiet snarking back and forth, I did enjoy myself tremendously.

Then, to continue my dissipation, I settled at the Rocks Lounge inside the Red Rock and played Deuces Wild video poker for about half an hour, while enjoying my free coffee with Bailey's and whipped cream...mmmmmmm.

Lest you think I'm some sort of compulsive gambler now, my budget is $10.00, and I cashed out at $11.25. So I MADE money; even counting the dollar tip I left the bartender, I came out ahead by a quarter! That's about my speed at gambling, I can't imagine wagering large amounts of money, it would make my tummy hurt!

So, all in all a successful outcome to my experiment. I'll have to repeat it soon...just to make sure I can get the same's for science, after all!

Christina's One Word Movie Reviews

Zombieland: hysterically funny!

(Okay, so that's TWO words...who cares?!)

Seriously, Folks: Go see the movie, you won't regret it. I laughed out loud on numerous occasions. Just remember it is very gory.

Monday, October 12, 2009

One Moment

I was given the heads-up about a walk-in just fifteen minutes before the scheduled appointment, and I had been taking a nap. After grumbling for a few seconds, I rallied: brushed my teeth quickly, fixed my hair, repaired my makeup (I'm a pro!), grabbed my oil and put my game face on.

After I called from the entrance to the men's spa and received acknowledgment from the client, I had to wait for a few moments, and I could hear his hesitant approach; he came around the corner, using a cane, taking careful steps with his twisted leg, his torso slightly hunched over, a huge smile on his face.

As we greeted each other, I shook his left hand, since he held the cane in his right.
While I guided him to the treatment room, I asked him a bit about his health history, and he explained he'd just come home from Iraq.

IEDs do massive damage, and those who survive them are usually permanently disabled, like my client.

Slightly halting speech from a brain injury, shrapnel and surgical scars all over his body, yet that incandescent smile that would not quit: tomorrow was his 24th wedding anniversary, and he was the luckiest man on earth.

Two healthy, happy children, an 8-month-old granddaughter he dotes on, and the love of his life still with him, by his side. His only regret that he couldn't bring all his soldiers home with him; two had lost their lives in the desert, and he told me he'd have gladly taken their place...a true hero.

If I can give to such a man even one moment of respite, a brief period without pain, and maybe an ear and a heart to listen to his story, I'm fulfilled.

I thanked him for his service, told him I was grateful for his sacrifice, and that the entire country is in his debt, but his response to that shook me. He told me I, and people like myself, those who are grateful and who love and appreciate the United States and know how good we have it here, are the reason he went to war. HE was grateful to ME, this wounded warrior, this hero. And I was left without words. Only tears.

Overheard inside the Casino, Ten Minutes ago...

one security guard remarking to the other:

Man, I was still drunk when I came in to work last night...


Sunday, October 11, 2009


If you direct your gaze to the ticker in my sidebar, you'll see that my weight now stands at 159.

The last time I weighed this little was when I got pregnant with my first child...which means I'VE FINALLY LOST THE BABY WEIGHT!!!!

It only took me a little over 18 years...

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Thank you, Sir...

for a wonderful, entertaining, not to mention educational weekend. :)


Wow, my readers have dirty minds...I LIKE that!

I learned how to play VIDEO POKER, you pervs! Sheesh, what did you think I meant...?

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Bring it.

Paid my lawyer her retainer today (and thank you again, all you wonderful people who helped me, I cherish you!) and signed the contract.

You assholes wanna play hardball with me? Bring it. My lawyer has teeth, and isn't afraid to use them.

Monday, October 05, 2009


I LOVE it when clients upgrade during the service! Not only is it a testament to my massage skills, but I also get HALF of the difference in price, not our usual 35%.

It always gives me a little boost. Plus it's a great incentive program from our boss to motivate us to up-sell.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

THIS, however, you can probably see all over the U.S...

but wish you couldn't!

I was leaving my local Stop 'n' Rob this morning, after picking up my caffeinated breakfast (yes, I'm an admitted failure at kicking the habit), and I saw a gentleman leaving who had, well, I won't call it a hat.

It was a visor, on his head. No big deal, right?


First of all, he was wearing the visor upside down. That's bad enough. But he was also wearing it SIDEWAYS. Basically, the part that's supposed to keep the sun out of your eyes/face? Over his ear, upside down.

I was already in my car, or I might just have asked him what the point was of wearing the thing in the first place. Just to look stupid? Well, if that was his objective, he succeeded admirably!

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Only in Vegas...

I was pulling into the employee parking lot at the casino today, around 6:30 AM, and saw a man walking across the street, "dressed" only in a white towel slung around his hips, and flip-flops. He had a bundle of clothes in his arms, but why he wasn't wearing *them*, I haven't a clue!

I tell you, every time I start thinking I'm jaded, something comes along and surprises me all over again!

Friday, October 02, 2009


Sometimes I feel cursed. I got a call from the Admissions Director at the Nursing College yesterday afternoon, asking me to come in for a meeting this morning.

Apparently, the sister campuses (which have been around much longer than the recently-established Las Vegas campus) have a much higher first-time testing pass rate for their graduates taking the NCLEX, so the Las Vegas campus is implementing some changes to improve the local students' outcome.

Bottom line: there will be NO November class. The next class starts on April 2nd. Not too big a deal, right? Except for the fact that they're starting over with the entire admissions process. AND they're shrinking the class size from 38 to 24. So more competition for fewer slots. The good news is that they're "extending me the courtesy" of an automatic admissions interview, because I apparently had the highest test scores the director has ever seen (who knew?), and my essay was also the bomb. Though he didn't quite put it in those words...;)

Also, since I've been through this interview before, I won't be nearly as nervous, and I'm already making bullet points so I don't sound so much like an idiot this time.

AND, since I'm making much less money this year than last, my FAFSA will hopefully grant me more financial aid next year.

As you can see, I'm trying very, very hard to find the silver lining in this whole mess. Even if it's only a millimeter thin...

Thursday, October 01, 2009

I'm happy to report...

I went to the park this afternoon and did NOT walk into a tree.

Legal Mess Update

Here's what's been going on:

-I've been served with papers. Basically the collection agency is suing me on Desert Perinatal Associates' behalf. I have until next Friday or Saturday to respond.

-I found a good lawyer, who has a detailed plan of action. Unfortunately, I'm having problems scraping together the $1,500 retainer she requires, so nothing has been done yet.

-The parents finally replied to my initial email, but they told me to contact Darci at the surrogacy agency, who has ignored my calls and emails thus far.

-I sent an email to the News Director at Channel 13 Action News here in Vegas. I've heard nothing yet on that front.

-My aunt is sending me $500, and my DAUGHTER, the college student, informed me after the fact that she also sent me $500 from her financial aid money. Now tell me, isn't she an awesome kid? I have $50 bucks saved up from tips, and I guess I'll have to get a payday loan of some kind, because I HAVE to get my lawyer on board, ASAP.

That's the status update. If anything changes, I'll let you guys know!