Speaking of gas stations...

has anyone else encountered gas pumps that no longer accept debit cards? Many of the gas stations around my area have switched to cash or credit only, and I also noticed that at the big truckstop, they have a lower price for diesel if you pay with cash versus paying with credit card.

Signs of the times, or harbingers of worse to come?

You're not fooling us!

Stupid gas stations! We all know that when your sign says "Regular Unleaded $3.26 (and a teeny-tiny 9)", we're pretty much gonna be paying $3.27 per gallon for gas. So stop the stupid mind games and just put "Regular Unleaded $3.27" and let us be pleasantly surprised when we end up paying a skosh less at the pump.

Thank you.

Observed in the casino...

at the register of a restaurant:

A jar that said:

Tipping - Bad for Cows, Good for Staff!

I thought it was cute.

:)

You know you're getting old...

when someone in another room calls out in a concerned voice, "Are you okay?!" when they hear you grunt as you rise from a squat.

Overheard in the trailer park...

A neighbor is admiring my Italian Greyhounds...

Neighbor: Them shore are purty dawgs!

Me (smiling): Thank you! I think so too.

Neighbor: Are them Great Danes?

Me: ...


No, I'm not making this up or exaggerating.

Bad English...

no, not another grammar Nazi post!



:)

Overheard in the Spa...

after a massage...

Client: My thyroid thanks you!

Me: *blink blink* Your thyroid is welcome...?

"Paging Dr. Christina..."

I was a bit taken aback when my client with the gigantic swelling on his upper lip asked me after the massage what I thought he should put on it.

Do I look like a doctor?

It's specifically stated in every state's massage regulations I've ever seen that diagnosing and/or treating any disease, illness, or injury is well outside the massage therapist's scope of practice. It's expressly forbidden, in fact.

So why does this happen so often?

For what it's worth, considering that the swelling on the guy's face looked like it was about to sprout a prophecy-spewing Kuato, I recommended some calendula therapy oil.

After I told him he should see a doctor ASAP. ;)

VERY cool...

I caught this commercial while I was sweating away on the elliptical machine at my gym. I think it's nifty!

Priorities...

I haz dem.

So I apologize for the dearth of posts. I apologize for the fact that I've not been keeping up with my blog reading. And I apologize for not being on the GBC very much at all lately.

This is my last semester of prerequisites before I apply for nursing school. I HAVE to get A's, or I can kiss my chance at even being invited to TEST for nursing school goodbye.

My statistics class isn't exactly difficult, but it's online, which means it's very time-consuming. And the SNOMG!MAGEDDON! we had here two weeks in a row meant that those two weeks were A&P II-free. And now we're playing catch-up. Which means lots and lots of home-study before our first exam next week.

So, anyway...that's why I've been so AWOL lately. And also why it will likely continue that way until May!

Don't worry, I'll still pop in now and again, and I do try to read everyone else's blogs sporadically, it just won't be every day like I normally do.

Bear with me, my friends!

Pet Peeves

If even the news folks can't get it right, we're doomed...

It's "Joint Chiefs of Staff" not "Joint Chief of Staffs". Dumbass. Just like the plural of "passerby" is "passersby". Or "courts martial" NOT "court martials". See the principle here? "Sisters-in-law" NOT "sister-in-laws". God, it makes me cringe.

And someone HANGED himself. Not HUNG.

Here's a little tip to help you remember:

"The distraught widower HANGED himself from the chandelier, after he HUNG a portrait of his late wife up in the bedroom."

Granted, I'm far from an English grammar expert. I tend to sprinkle commas in where they feel right, since I never learned any of that in school, and when I TRIED to learn the rules as an adult, they made absolutely no sense to me. So I wing it.

But so many obvious bloopers just rub me the wrong way, like fingernails on a chalkboard. And as this is my blog, I feel free to vent.

What are your pet (grammar/spelling) peeves? Share in the comments!

Awkward.

It's extremely difficult, though not quite impossible, to avoid touching particularly billowy side-boob during a massage. Sorry, Lady...I did my best!

Stick a fork in me...

I'm done. Almost completely booked today from 10:00 AM to 7:00 PM. And I get to do it all over again tomorrow. Hooray for Valentine's Day!

Really, I'm cryin' all the way to the bank. ;)

Reach out...

Silver and I saw Human Nature live at the Imperial Palace in Las Vegas twice while I worked there, and they were absolutely phenomenal. I have all their Motown albums, and love to sing along to their music and work out to it. Oh, and they're a former boy band from Australia, just fyi...



Enjoy!

Jeebus, it's COLD outside...

My skin feels like it's being flayed every time I walk the dogs and when I get back inside my face and ears are cherry-red and numb. My dogs just keep giving me dirty looks when I force them to abandon the warm bed and venture outside to take care of business.

School has been canceled for the second week in a row, and since I only go one day a week for A&P II, this means we are six hours behind in lecture and four hours in lab. I have no clue how they plan on catching us up, especially since we were supposed to take our first exam next Wednesday.

At least I'm catching up on other important shit. Like my taxes. And I'm trying to work ahead in my online Statistics class...online stops for NOTHING. I've been hitting the gym pretty hard as well.

Other than that, I really have nothing much to blog about.

I leave you with a lovely Valentine's Day offering...aren't they PRETTY?

Because everyone can use some Bert...

not to mention pigeons...

Absolutely Nothing.

That's my advice.

Snippets of my day so far...

-woke up in a dog-poo covered bed.

-spilled moderately hot coffee over my freshly-showered body.

-splashed super-mentholated foot soak in my eye.

-while whirling toward the sink to rinse my eye, bashed my head into an open cupboard door.

-had a client repeatedly grab my arm, marveling at my "guns", while asking where I work out.

Hey, it can only get better, right? RIGHT?!

*sigh*

Don't answer that.

Repeat after me:

"I do not touch the massage therapist. The massage therapist touches me."

Thank you.

"Chance of snow 30%...

accumulations of up to 1 inch."

These words, I do not think they mean what you think they mean...







The spa is shut down today, and I don't think I'll make it to the gym or the post office, either (sorry, Brigid!). I have food and heat and hot water, and I have PLENTY of schoolwork to do, so I think I'll just hunker down and wait for it to melt.

Curse you, Algore! You and your global warmening!

Mini-Shindig!

So...I'll be in the Boston area the beginning of March for a few days, visiting friends and celebrating my birthday (YAY, I'm OLD[er]!). I'm planning on having a little get-together on Saturday, March 5th for lunch. If you're interested in joining us for some yummy food and conversation, let me know, either in the comments or via email. Lucrativepain@yahoo.com

Come one, come all!

I'm excited. :)

Thank you,...

Phlegmmy and LawDog!

I had a wonderful time this past weekend, ate far too much food, drank just enough booze (LOL), and had plenty of interesting, entertaining conversation. It never ceases to amaze me how much fun can be had, even when things don't work out exactly as planned. Too cold to go shooting? No big deal, we'll just hang out and talk. We ran out of time to do massages? Hey, I can come back NEXT week and do 'em, and we'll hang out some more! WIN!

It's always a pleasure to see my friends and spend time with them, and even those who couldn't be there in person were there in spirit (or called on the phone, imagine that! ;))

There was a pack of hounds there always looking for scraps of food or laps to curl up on, including my two pups. And Phlegmmy's couch was as comfortable as ever.

Also, let me just say that if you need to go clothes shopping, whether you're looking for a specific item, or just need something new, take Phlegmmy with you! She is the most incredible personal shopper on the planet. In the time it takes you to read this post, she'll have at least five outfits picked out for you that suit you beautifully.

All in all, this is the most fun I've had in MONTHS. (Pretty much since the last party at Phlegmmy's - go figure!)

And one last time: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAWDOG!