Waste of my time...

and the client's money.

Had a young client yesterday who was having a couple's massage with his even younger girlfriend. He was a massage newbie, and when asked about areas of concern or focus, he merely told me he had a large knot in his lower back from years of playing tennis. Good enough, I thought.

When we do couple's massages here, we start our clients face-up, since we finish with hot stones on the back. So I did the relaxation-aroma therapy thingy, then began my first stroke up the client's traps to his neck...and he completely spazzed. His entire torso came up of the table, twisting, as he threw his head back..."Oh, sorry...I'm extremely ticklish!"

No shit, Sherlock.

Oh. My. God. It never stopped. He was ticklish EVERYWHERE. Didn't matter how firm I made my touch or where I touched him, he jerked and spasmed, twitched and tensed, giggling mostly silently. I was rolling my eyes at Elisha, who was massaging the girlfriend, and she was trying not to laugh. She told me later that she thought at first the guy was having a seizure. He apologized periodically throughout the massage, but I didn't give a crap. I was grimly determined to see this through to the bitter end.

I think, barring labor and childbirth, that those were the longest fifty minutes of my life. I was never so glad to have a massage be over, that's for sure.

Funny thing is, he said he enjoyed the massage and he still tipped me. It wasn't enough, though. Trust me, it wasn't enough.