Who doesn't want them?

If you don't, I don't wanna know you!



Unless you're my daughters, in which case, carry on! Talk to me in about ten years or so. ;)

Another classic...

Yes, yes...I know it's filler. Bear with me for a bit longer, my friends...a week and a half and I'm all DONE.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope all my friends and family are having a simply lovely, marvelous Thanksgiving. Lots of food and laughter, with quiet moments of contemplation here and there. Remember, it *IS* a day for reflection.

So take some time off from griping about stuff and instead focus on the positive. I'm sure you'll find something you are very thankful for, I know I do.

I'm thankful for all of you. I'm thankful for my health. I'm thankful that I live in the United States of America, despite everything still the best damn country in the world.

And I'm really thankful that in two weeks this semester will be over...

My subconscious...

is fucking with me.

We had our final review in Microbiology lab last night, since our lab exam is next Tuesday. We went over all the Protozoa and Helminths that are pathogenic to humans, and our lab instructor had all the slides out for us to look at in preparation for our test.

So what did I dream about last night? My test. But when I entered the lab in my dream, instead of three or four microscopes set up at every table, there were small, white dessert plates with colorful blobs of unidentifiable substances on them. And we were supposed to look at said blobs with the naked eye and determine what critter was being shown.

Fuck.

I hate my subconscious.

Pimpin'...

my daughter's new blog!

If you'd like to follow along in the day of a high school student who goes to a Department of Defense school overseas, leavened with a judicious helping of snark, head on over to "What Happened at School Today?" and read TallyAngel's adventures.

I enjoy 'em, and I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom!

The Final Countdown...

to the end of the semester. Sorry, I know the blogging has been pretty spotty lately, and it's only going to get worse over the next few weeks, as it's crunch time at school.

So bear with me, please!

Help Evie!

My good friends Unix-Jedi and Dixie from the GBC have the most adorable little tot you can imagine, and her name is Evie.



Check your blood sugar levels immediately, 'cause I predict a spike!

They have entered Evie in a cuteness contest at Gerber, and they need more votes for her to win! She'll get a nice scholarship and be featured in advertisements for Gerber...so help her out, please!

Go to this link and vote. You can vote daily until the end of the month, so make it part of your daily routine. Yes, you have to enter an email address and verify, blah, blah, blah. Who cares? You're ensuring that the cutest and most deserving baby wins, and you're making me happy! Don't you want to make me happy? Please?

You know you want to...

Hit me...

with your best shot...



Fire away!

C is for cookie

that's good enough for me!



I've had Cookie Monster on the brain lately, maybe because it's winter, and I'm craving all sorts of things that are BAD for me to eat. Dammit. I'm being a good girl, though...

Shamelessly stolen from my own Facebook...

GODDAMN, PEOPLE! Turning yourself into old shoe leather is NOT attractive. Is it some kind of body dismorphic disorder that people who obsessively tan can look at themselves in the mirror and say, "Damn! I look fiiiiiiine. All youthful and with a healthy glow...thanks to my TAN!" when in reality they look like hairless Shar-peis?

---

Because I'm tired and lazy. :D

Note(s) to self...

If at all possible, avoid I-35 during rush hour.

Also, when massaging a slumming goddess, or possibly (since I might be wrong) a Valkyrie, it behooves one to remember that some legs DO go on forever, and to schedule time accordingly. While the client might appreciate the extra time, the front desk person who ends up having to stay late will NOT.

Veteran's Day

I called my twenty-something-ish boss yesterday to see if we'd be getting paid today, as we are every other Thursday. You know, because it's a holiday...?

She asked, slightly bewildered, "What holiday is it?"

*sigh*

I might have let my disbelief show a little too much in my response of, "Veteran's Day!", because she quickly apologized to me.

To my Dad, my uncle, both my brothers. To all currently serving, and those who've honorably served in the past.

Thank you. Thank you for your service. Thank you for keeping us safe, and helping make this country great.

To everyone else out there, take a moment and thank a vet. Take a moment to reflect on their sacrifices. Be grateful.

Like we really should be EVERY DAY, not just on November 11th.

PSA

The next piece of shit, motherfucking, microcephalic pinhead who PUTS ON THE BRAKES when entering the freeway on-ramp, instead of accelerating in preparation for merging with traffic, is getting my bumper so far up his ass, he'll be burping in Korean for the rest of his short, pathetic, perpetually coitus-free life.

Weirdest job...

A first for me today: got a client's leg hair stuck in the side of my finger like a splinter. It STUNG, too. It was mostly broken off, and I needed tweezers to yank it out. Too weird.

Sometimes in the middle of a massage, I'll think..."Wow, I'm getting paid to rub my hands and arms all over this naked person. That's truly bizarre..."

Not the post I was planning on writing.

I was massaging a lady last night whom I took to be in her late fifties, early sixties.

As I draped her leg, I noticed a star tattoo on her instep and started to mentally compose a funny post about how startling it is to find tattoos on older women.

Then, as we were chatting, she mentioned her age: 46...whoops! There goes THAT blogpost, I thought.

As the massage continued, we started talking about kids and grandkids, and how simultaneously awesome and scary it was to have kids at a young age. We ended up debating the ideal age difference for siblings, and she admitted that her two youngest children were only 10.5 months apart.

I couldn't help asking, curiously,

"Wow, did you think you couldn't get pregnant while breastfeeding?"

"Not exactly," she said.

Then, after a slight hesitation, "My husband wasn't one you said 'no' to," she stated flatly.

That statement, and her delivery, hit me with the force of a blow.

I hear a lot of things while giving massages, some of them are funny, some heartbreaking, and I usually only blog about the funny or touching ones, because that's the kind of blog I have.

Not this time.

Several outstanding bloggers have posted about rape recently, and these posts, and the accompanying comments, have stayed on my mind. Go read their posts, if for some reason you haven't yet, because they are far more articulate than I am. I just want to add one thing.

NO MEANS NO.

That applies if it's some drunk chick you pick up in a bar. It applies regardless of what she's wearing. And it CERTAINLY also applies to the woman you vowed to love and cherish, the woman who wears your wedding band.

NO MEANS NO.

Another LOL

Last night, as I was loading the washer, which happens to be right outside my roomie's bedroom, I heard him say, "Muppet?!" in a tone of mingled surprise and dismay...what does it say about me that I *immediately* knew to what he was referring?

LOL

I know, I know...it's mean to laugh, but I can't help it! At least I didn't laugh right in front of her...
the gal who sits next to me in Microbiology, I mean. Who proudly showed off her very first, brand-new tattoo...

"I solemny swear I am up to no good."

*I* solemnly pointed out the missing "l"...

The poor gal quite deflated at that. Am I a bitch? Don't answer that!

Milestones

Two years ago today, I had bariatric surgery. I had a lap-band placed, and I think it's one of the best, if not THE best, things I've ever done for myself.

I went from here:


to here:


and in the process regained my health and my zest for life.

I don't deny myself any food that I really want, but I do eat far more mindfully now, and often enough just asking myself, "Is it really worth it?" suffices to stop me from eating something I really shouldn't.

That's one big milestone. Another one that I completely spaced is my four-year blogiversary, which passed unnoticed a few weeks ago. Go, me!

Both things, weight-loss surgery and blogging, have transformed my life immeasurably. I've made the best friends I've ever had through blogging, and I can't picture how dull and dreary my life would be without you all. So thank you for being my friends, all you bloggy people out there! Whether you lurk without commenting, read and comment, or blog yourselves, you are ALL appreciated.

*smooch*

There's a kiss for each and every one of you!

---

UPDATE:
I have been COMMANDED, by a certain lovably bossy someone who shall remain nameless, to add the following photo to this blogpost.

Status

So, I did do extremely well on my A & P exams. 194 out of 200 on my lecture exam, 151 out of 150 on my lab practicum. W00T!

I only need 150 more points to get an A in the whole class, so I don't even need to take the final nor the last lab test (they drop the lowest grade, so I don't need to take 'em, LOL)

I'm really happy, mainly because I don't have to stress about it anymore. An A is really necessary for applying to nursing school, especially at my school.

In other news, I got to mess around with sheep brains last night, identifying the gross anatomy. That was fun!

I'm Jealous

A friend and I had a conversation about jealousy earlier today, and it made me think of the song by Shania Twain. Not good for working out to, but a great song nonetheless.

Exercised my right, with pleasure!

I had the choice between paper or electronic ballot, and I chose paper...just for the sheer satisfaction I felt while filling in the little rectangle next to the NON-incumbent candidates with black ink, making sure every little corner was completely covered. FUN!

Now it's back to the report on Human Herpesvirus 1 & 2, due this afternoon...YIKES!

All dressed up...

and no place to go!

Got all snazzed up in costume last night to hand out candy to the kids in the trailer park, only to discover that the kids in the trailer park LEAVE the trailer park to go trick-or-treating.

*sigh*

Oh, well...at least I looked good!

Here, what do you think?





(yes, the costume is [mostly] from last year, I'm cheap! And yes, I guess this could be construed as fishing for compliments. Well, fuck it! Why the hell not?)