Sunday, August 19, 2007


I've been really busy at the spa the last two days, and here's a run-down of some of the more unusual clients I've had.

-We have the lady who doesn't wash her hands after using the toilet...I'm glad I saw that after our session, otherwise I'd have been grossed out the whole time.

-Another lady I massaged was slender and small-boned, but had the HUGEST scapulae (shoulder blades). They looked like they belonged to a man twice her size.
They didn't stick out or anything. They were just really, really large.

-And I had the first client ever to warn me that receiving massage made her gassy. I told her to do what she had to do, that it was actually a sign of "release" (massage lingo alert), which was a good thing. So she proceeded to demonstrate, copiously. I survived!

And let me reiterate...if you're going to receive a full-body massage...GET NAKED!!!!!

I swear to God, the next time I have a client on the table and undrape him/her and find underwear, I'm gonna cry.

Honestly, people, I'm not interested in seeing your derrieres, only in working your glutes...can you tell the difference?

Unless you happen to be Vin Diesel, then all bets are off.

The worst is when it's a guy wearing boxer shorts. Then most of the thigh and the ass are off limits to me, which really makes it difficult to give my best massage.
I have to work through the sheet, can't do any gliding or connecting strokes, etc.

I had three massage newbies today, that's always my favorite! I'll be utterly immodest and say that they all loved my massage, and tipped very well, yay me!

It's because I KICK ASS!!


Sorry about that. I'm just slightly euphoric, since I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to massage professionally, considering I graduated last December. I got nationally certified less than two weeks later, but the state licensing process was so long that I was hugely pregnant by the time I received my license, so the spa couldn't utilize me for massage. Then I went on maternity leave and here we are, 8 months after graduation, and I'm finally doing what I went to school for. It made me wonder whether I was any good at all. So this kind of validation is sweeeeeeet!

Anyway, I'm pooped. I had 7 sessions today, then picked up Silver and we watched Hairspray again. I'm obsessed with that movie, it was my sixth time seeing it.
So it's time for me to say good night, folks!
Hope you're having a great weekend.


Chuck said...

I've only had two professional massages (those Asian places don't count, right?) in my life and I couldn't imagine laying there in my boxers.

Still gotta see Hairspray. I think we'll go see it sometime this week.

Christina RN LMT said...

Nope, any place that has the word "parlor" in its name does not provide professional massage!
Sweeping generalization there, which I'm famous for.
I had a friend in school who is Asian, and her Mom back in England was PISSED when she found out her daughter was attending massage school. Mom was certain guys would think she provided "happy endings"!
Not so, of course!
And I'm so proud of you for shedding your boxers, I have a little tear in my eye...

You'll definitely love Hairspray, it's a hoot!

Anonymous said...

Way to go!!! Ur so lucky! If "Mr. K" comes in, u HAVE to call me!!! I'm so jealous just thinking about it! Well, when u massage me, I'll get naked! =) Can't wait!

Christina RN LMT said...

I'll call you the minute you-know-who comes in!
I know YOU'LL get naked!! ;)
I miss you at the spa, you have no new gal forgot to give me a message from my daughter. I ended up spending 45 minutes waiting at her school with my engine running before I realized nobody was there!
I was pissed.

phlegmfatale said...

wow. I wish it weren't such a long drive because then I could have you give me a massage, and I'd definitely tip you well.

What I want right now is one of those salt-scrub exfoliating massages. What do they call those and where can I find one in Dallas that one be super-expensive or a gauntlet of bitchy rich women?

Christina RN LMT said...

Well, you can have a body scrub, or salt glow (which are pretty much the same, just make sure the place you get one has a vichy shower, they RULE!), but those are body treatments, not massages.
So try to find a place that offers packages, you could probably find a package that is a combo of those things, like a scrub, wrap, massage combo. Maybe they throw in a facial, too.
Those are fun, but pricy.
Vichy="vee-she", and it's a table shower.

Christina RN LMT said...

And Phlegmmy...if you come to Vegas, of course the massage would be on the house!
No tipping required. :)

phlegmfatale said...

I would give you an obscene tip, and I promise not to be gassy. Ok, thanks for the tips. Will look it up. I've heard those things are amazing for your skin.