from my 88-year-old patient.
I answered a call light in the middle of the night. My patient beckoned me over to her bedside and we had the following exchange:
"This is gonna be an odd request..."
"Don't worry about it, I'm here to help!"
"My snatch is itching, could you wash it for me?"
*blink blink*
So I did.
I cannot make this shit up. Seriously. I can't.