Moar! Clinical! Fun!

I had a much better day at clinical today (*whew*)!

I FINALLY DID A STRAIGHT CATH!!! YAY, I MADE PEE!!!

Of course, I cracked my preceptor up by saying, "I have PENIS," before correcting myself quickly and saying, "I have URINE!"

In addition, I did a wound dressing change, observed both a JP drain and a chest tube removal, used a ceiling lift, and wrote a nursing progress note. Among many other things, of course. 12 hours sometimes doesn't seem like enough time.

I also suggested to the doctor removing the chest tube that we raise the patient's bed higher, he was almost bent in half doing his work! These youngsters, gotta look out for 'em.

So, all in all, a very good day. Let's see if I can keep it up! As my clinical instructor said at the beginning of the semester, I should consider this semester one long job interview.

Fun at Clinicals

I just got home from my second hospital clinical session of the semester, and this happened:

1. I dodged flying poo, successfully.

2. My scrubs pocket received a lovely infusion of 5000 units of heparin. Luckily the needle stayed capped.

3. My patient, towards the end of the shift, told me I looked exhausted. That can't be good.

4. I got my period. With a VENGEANCE.

5. Related to 4., one-ply toilet paper in the staff restroom? No bueno!

And I go back this weekend for 24 more hours of fun! But first, I have the introduction and annotated bibliography for my Senior Capstone paper to write...

Weird Dreams

I had two bizarre dreams last night. In the first, I went to my favorite bowling alley (not that I have one in real life, I haven't been bowling in close to a decade, I'd say...). I was dismayed to find that the bowling alley had decided to feature Nude! Bowling!

I turned around and left, 'cause who wants to see that shit?

In my second dream, Marko came over to my place and commenced house cleaning. I followed him around to make sure he did a good job. No, he wasn't nude. (Get your minds out of the gutter!)

He wasn't wearing a French maid costume, either. Dammit.

My brain is weird. Or maybe it was the antihistamine/decongestant combo I took right before bed.

The Greatest Generation

Recently I had the honor of massaging a lady who was born at the tail-end of WWI (no, I didn't forget an additional capital "i"...) It was her first massage ever, so she was a little nervous and chatted throughout the massage.

She was a gracious, friendly lady who regaled me with snippets of her life's story (we would have been there far longer than an hour had she told me the whole.)

Three things struck me the most:

First, she was incredibly blunt and honest (and funny!)

Second, she told me after the massage that she was going to go home and have a beer.

Third, she gave me the best handshake I've experienced in YEARS. I'm not even joking. When/how did Americans lose the art of the good handshake? Here's a woman closing in on her 100th birthday, and she gave me a better handshake than anyone I've shaken hands with, male/female/young/old, in years.

I think it is an illustration of the decay of American society and good manners. Or maybe I'm just an old fuddy-duddy who lived in Germany too long. But I suspect the first...

I'm really glad my professional filter works.

As my elderly male client groaned, "Oh, that feels SO GOOD...the deeper you can get the better," the evil little voice in my head snarked, "That's what SHE said!"

It's a good thing my brain-mouth filter has a WORK SETTING.

Conan said it best.

I crushed the HESI exam so hard, I swear I could hear the lamentation of the women...

(feel free to fast-forward to 1:10...)

Yay, one less thing to worry about!