Monday, January 19, 2009

Misc. Stuff and Aggravation

I've got a boatload of stuff to blog about, so let's get started!

-last night Silver and I were watching a "House, MD" DVD, when my dog Tucker apparently decided we weren't paying enough attention to him. He jumped up on the back of the couch, strutted to the light switch, and deliberately nudged the switch for the ceiling fan up with his snout. As the fan began to swirl lazily, he turned his head to look at us, as if to say, "So, are you paying attention to me now?!" Quite a few times over the past year, when we've been gone an especially long time during the day, we'd come home to find the ceiling fan in the living room whirling merrily. We wondered which dog was doing the deed, and now we know...mystery solved!

Of course we made a big fuss over him, smart pooch that he is!

-I saw something very cool yesterday morning. I was parking in our employee parking lot, which is a good quarter mile from the casino, and I saw a valet pull a skateboard out of the trunk of his car and zoom off toward the casino. That's one way to make sure you don't clock in late!

Massage vignettes (including the AGGRAVATING ONES):

-I was massaging a young lady yesterday, and immediately upon draping her back, I noticed what appeared to be a marble-sized sebaceous cyst smack-dab in the middle of her back. Needless to say, I was pretty grossed-out, since I had to massage right over it, necessitating my touching it repeatedly. Ugh. I was worried that if I applied too much pressure, I'd express some of the material of the cyst! Luckily, I was able to avoid that. I'd have charged her extra for it, though!

-As I was working on a gentleman's neck and shoulders with loose fists, knuckles on both of my hands cracked. I said, "Sorry," whereupon the client replied, "Don't apologize, that's exactly what I need, feels great!"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that it was ME whose joints had cracked, not his shoulders making noises while being adjusted. I'm not a chiropractor!

Now on to the aggravating clients...

-I massaged an investigator from L.A. (he works for a lawyer's office AND Rite-Aid, which I find fascinating). He'd won some money at the craps table and decided to treat himself to a massage. After we were done, he verified that we had tip envelopes up at the front desk, and assured me he'd leave me a little something...yeah, sure he did! ZIP, ZILCH, NADA is what he left me. Now, if he simply forgot in his haste to get back to the tables, okay, it happens (and hopefully he'll remember and come back up today to leave me a tip), but if he never intended on giving me a tip, he should have just kept his mouth shut about it, and not gotten my hopes up. If the latter is the correct scenario, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest his armpits!

-My last client of the day was half of a couple A. and I massaged in the side-by-side (couple's) room. I was doing the guy, A. the girlfriend. As always, I asked about surgeries, injuries, medications...and the most important, "Do you have any areas you'd like me to focus on today?" To which he replied, after a moment of thought, "Everywhere!" Fine. Whatever.
So I started the massage and was working on his shoulders when he said, "You can use more pressure." Uh, no I can't! You paid for a Swedish massage, which entails light-to-medium pressure (because it's our special, discounted service), so don't try to get me to do a deep-tissue massage without forking over the difference. That was the first indication this was going to be fun. I was working on his legs when he started snoring slightly, which is fantastic! The client falling asleep is a huge compliment to the therapist. A. and I exchanged a laughing glance at a particularly loud snort, and continued on. After the massage was over, and I had him sign his ticket, we had the following exchange:

Client: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Of course!
Client: The last time I had a massage, the therapist rubbed my feet...why didn't you?
Me: *blink blink* I did massage your feet!
Client: I remember you massaging the tops of my feet, but not the bottoms.
Me: I definitely massaged your feet both while you were face-down and face-up, with my knuckles and loose fists, even.
Client: I don't remember...and I was really looking forward to a good foot massage, too...that's my favorite part!
Me: *what I thought* You dumbass...why the hell didn't you tell me to focus on your feet when I asked you before the massage?! I'd have spent extra time on 'em, and you'd probably remember! I can't help it that you fell asleep and can't remember what I did!
Me: *what I said* I'm sorry, Sir, but I definitely did massage your feet. I'm a very thorough therapist and do a full-body massage every time. Have a wonderful evening!

Needless to say, he didn't leave me a tip...grrrrrrrr.

9 comments:

Trashman said...

You need someone to sit at the door and hand out tip envelopes. Some scary looking tattooed dude. That reminds the customers tips are appreciated and ensure survival.

Christina LMT said...

You looking for a job?

Trashman said...

Didn't you know I gave up construction. Right now I'm a kept man. I do love me some Vegas though.

Blondefabulous said...

I'd have had to balk at the Cyst girl!

EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christina LMT said...

Well, I kept making faces at it, Blondie!

Suldog said...

That's good stuff. I've always wondered what my masseur thinks while I'm on the table. Now I have at least some idea.

Question for you: As a masseuse, do you think you get a higher or lower percentage of male (or female) clients than a masseur?

(Reason I ask, personally: I prefer a masseur. Not because of any sexual proclivity for men, but exactly the opposite. When I am being massaged by a woman, my thoughts always travel to sex, no matter how much I know that it isn't a sexual encounter. I can never just fully relax and enjoy the massage.)

Christina LMT said...

Suldog, female therapists have a definite advantage over male therapists when it comes to clientele. So much so that the front desk always asks clients when they are booking whether they have a gender preference. If they don't, the appointment automatically goes to the male therapist. It's really that bad! Too many men are so homophobic, they're afraid to be touched by another man. And far too many women are self-conscious about exposing their bodies to a "strange" man, so they request female therapists as well. So good for you for going to a male therapist and giving him some work!

kvegas911 said...

God love ya girl! I am not sure how you touch some of these people sans gloves! LOL!

Christina LMT said...

I've worn gloves before, usually because I had a cut or something. I hate massaging with them, they are a pain in the ass. Now I stick to liquid bandage, that works just fine.