Sunday, July 15, 2007

I'm a wuss.

Well, I had the babies on July 9th, as planned.

But I ended up needing a c-section, after going through labor, pushing like a fiend, etc.

The babies are both fine, I got to see them, and Silver, who was with me for the whole ride, holding my hand during the surgery, even got to hold both babies after they were cleaned up a little.

They are now residing with their parents, who are ecstatic at finally having a family, and I'm very happy for them!

I knew, intellectually, that having a c-section, and especially the recovery from one, was going to be painful, but the reality...!

Yesterday was the first day since the surgery that I felt semi-normal, and I really detest taking the prescription pain pills, they made me feel loopy and knocked me on my ass, so yesterday I switched to otc ibuprofen.

I had to go to the bank on Friday, and the cute, perky, twenty-something teller asked me "When are you due?". I wanted to kill her, and no jury of my peers (meaning middle-aged women with children) would convict me!

I calmly explained that I had delivered twins by c-section five days prior, and she responded by saying that I was still walking with a bit of a wobble...DEATH!!!


Yes, my abdomen is still swollen and distended, so I guess I look about 5-months along, or so, and yes, I AM walking funny because I'm in fucking pain, but still!

All I'm saying is, unless the wench is wearing a t-shirt that screams "Baby on Board", or she brings up the subject herself, DON'T assume a woman is pregnant.

Enough on that subject.

Yesterday my milk came in.
Too fucking bad!
Since I'm obviously not nursing any babies, I want it to dry up ASAP. This requires me to wear sports bras 24/7, except when in the shower. Back in the stone age, the last time I gave birth, you had the option of getting a shot to dry up your milk if you decided not to nurse. When I asked my OB, who's been in practice for about 10 years, he didn't know what I was talking about. I talked to a veteran nurse in Labor and Delivery, and she told me the medication I was talking about had had serious side effects, like seizures and damage to the pituitary gland...okay, I guess I can live without it!
All I can say is...holy shit, I'm STACKED!
Instant boob job, I wish I could keep it without the pain and threat of milk leakage!
And no, there will be no pictures, thankyouverymuch!

I picked up my thirteen-year-old twin daughters, known here as Thing 1 and Thing 2, from the airport yesterday. Silver has been in Omaha since Thursday, the day after I was released from the hospital (that's another story! I didn't get discharged until after 10 PM and was PISSED!).
I'm so happy to have them here with me, I haven't seen them since Christmas.
They have grown so much, and I know that Thing 1 is probably already as tall as Silver (5'2''). Probably by this Christmas, she'll be taller than her big sister!

Unfortunately, since I'm still recovering, we won't be able to be as active as I hoped. No roller coasters, swimming, etc. I've been encouraged to walk, and that suits me fine, but my daughters are inexhaustible, so I just hope they won't be disappointed.
On the other hand, they haven't seen any of the summer movies yet, so I've promised them a movie marathon, plus there are still a few movies out now, or coming out in the next few weeks, that I'd like to see with them, too.
So I guess we'll be staying busy!

Take care of yourselves and have a great Sunday!

Phlegmmy, thanks so much for your concern, you were the motivation for me to finally sit my ass down and write this post!

P.S. I had a dream last night that I was asked to play on a polo team.
The thing is, the game was played on elephants, not horses, and the ball was the size of a volleyball.
I woke up with one burning question: How the hell are you supposed to hit the ball from the back of an elephant?!


Sonja said...

I second the "unless she brings it up herself, don't assume a woman is pregnant" thing. I had a colleague at work who'd turn every little thing into a "you might be pregnant." As in "I have a slight headache." - "Oh, when I was pregnant, I got them all the time. Are you sure you're not pregnant??? HUH?"
I shared a classroom with her for a week. *shudder*

Christina RN LMT said...

How annoying!
The next time someone asks me that, I'll tell them, "Oh, I'm not pregnant, I have an inoperable tumor in my abdominal cavity, but thanks for asking!"

phlegmfatale said...

Well, of course, you're supposed to hit the volleyball with that long, skinny mallet.

Sorry things got a little hairy with the delivery, but I'm glad you and the wee bairns came out alright. Yeah, that was a shitty thing for that girl to say - people just don't think. Maybe that bitch will think twice next time. If you wanted to be really shitty back, you could say "yeah, well, I just lost a set of twins, so thanks for bringing that up."

The milk thing - you know, you could be doing a porn gig right now. Or in a Japanese ganster film.

Enjoy the jugs, anyhoo.

I'm glad you're ok, and glad to see you back in here. Have been thinking of you and wondering how it was all going...

Christina RN LMT said...

LOL, Plegm!
I thought about many guys are out there with the lactating fetish!
I'll stick to my own (unlactating) boobs, and someday my prince will come (hopefully)...

Dick said...

All I can say is...holy shit, I'm STACKED!
Applauds loudly.

Glad everything went well for ya!

Christina RN LMT said...

Thanks, Dick!

SFC B said...

Gratz there Miss Christina.