Thursday, December 07, 2006

Tag, you're it! Or something to that effect...

My friend European over at Girl With Greencard has put in a request for me to list six weird things about me.
I'll give it my best shot!

1) I live in Las Vegas and hate to gamble. Not only does gambling have all the entertainment value of watching paint dry (in my not-so-humble opinion), but if I wanted to throw my money away, I could just flush it down the toilet!

2) When I want to torture my spawn, let's say they have been obnoxious and won't listen to me, I start talking with various accents, a British or Southern one.
IT FREAKS THEM OUT.
I soon have them begging me to stop, promising excellent behavior, etc.
Also, I have a very powerful soprano singing voice, so when trapped in the car (a two-door Hyundai Accent) with misbehaving spawn, I have been known to SING my displeasure. Loudly, at a Very. High. Pitch. Rattling windows and all.
Works like a charm, every time.

3) Every item of clothing, every box of cereal, every other vaguely box-shaped item with a label in my house faces left, invariably. Don't ask me, I don't know (great Ozzie song, btw.!)
I also have all my books alphabetized by author. All other food items, such as cans or bottles, must face forward so you can see the label, and are grouped together (no, they are NOT alphabetized, I'm not that anal!)

4) I'm not much on comedies where the humor is derived from people being humiliated.
Even though I'm aware it's not real, that they are actors, etc., I feel too embarrassed to watch.
If I'm in the movie theater, and something like that happens, I'll close my eyes and cover my ears. It used to be really bad when I was a kid, if we were watching Gomer Pyle or something similar, I'd usually run out of the room!

5) I can read a book I like over and over again, I even have some books from when I was a kid, and now my kids are reading them. The weird thing is that even if I've read a book a million times, if it made me cry the first time I read it, it'll make me cry the millionth time I read it!
I get so absorbed when I read that I tune everything out (one of the reasons my marriage failed, I believe!). My kids learned quickly to physically push the book down to break my connection with it. I even got locked in the library when I was twelve, because I didn't notice them closing up and shutting off the lights!

6) I sometimes think quirky thoughts. For example, the other morning on my drive to work I noticed a lone men's dress shoe lying in the middle of the Strip.
I immediately started speculating...whose shoe was it? Did it miss its mate? Where was the matching shoe right now? Would somebody save the shoe, would drivers swerve to miss it, or would it end up a smear on the road surface by the end of the day? Where has that shoe been, and how did it get there? I've learned not to share thoughts like these with people, because I always get a blank stare, followed by, "You're weird, you know that?"
But I can share with YOU, right????

Well those are my six weird things, but I'll throw in a bonus seventh:
I HATE television. That makes me weird to most Americans, so I guess it qualifies as something to list here. I don't even receive local channels. I have a TV set so we can watch DVDs and play video games.

That's all folks! I'll not tag anybody else, because it appears this is spreading like wildfire, and most people whose blogs I read have already been tagged!

Thanks, European!

3 comments:

Silver the Evil Chao said...

Wow, you're more insane than I thought, thinking about shoes and all. ;)

European said...

Weird is goooood. :)

phlegmfatale said...

Except for the labels, you don't sound weird to me at all! Oh, and maybe your marriage failed because it wasn't exciting enough to tune out your reading - didja ever think of it that way??? I did.