I'm giving a patient an extended-release potassium pill, which is gigantic and extremely foul-tasting. The patient is having a procedure, so can't eat or drink anything (except for her meds), so she can't chug a giant glass of water to get the pill down. You can't dissolve it, crush it, or chew it, either...unfortunately, the instant it comes into contact with moisture, it starts dissolving...and tastes incredibly disgusting.
Me (watching the patient shove the pill all the way to the back of her throat with her finger): Oh, it's like giving a cat a pill!
The patient's twenty-something daughter: It's like giving a blow job...
Me (inside my head): Only if you have a gag reflex...
The patient reaches out with her free hand and smacks her daughter's arm: I can't take you anywhere!
Me (to the daughter): Maybe that's not the best thing to say in a semi-private room!!!
Things to consider when you're in the hospital:
-even if you're in a private room: NO PRIVACY
-but definitely worse when you have a roommate: you can hear EVERYTHING, including when the other patient is shitting into the bedside commode.