I'm NOT an Apple FanGrrrrrl...

so why did I dream of Steve Jobs?

I dreamed that I had a severely torn left rotator cuff, and Steve Jobs had healing hands, which he laid on my shoulder. I turned to him and said, "I can HEAR the buzzing!"

His hands were indeed buzzing, and hot, and they healed my rotator cuff perfectly in a couple minutes. Then I woke up. Weird. I didn't even get to say thank you!

TMI

Welcome to perimenopause. FML.

While always grateful...

for any cash tips, getting a wad of ones makes me feel like a stripper.

One who's having a bad day.

She's playing my song...

which I can't get out of my head today. Because I'm ALL about that bass (no treble).

In other news, I'm gearing up for the semester (my LAST, w00t!). Which involves fretting and stressing out about stuff I probably shouldn't be worrying about. Plus, I'm busy getting one child settled at a nearby university and finding her a place to live, and helping her twin with the enlistment process, which seems to take A. LONG. TIME.

I'm still waiting to hear from my preceptor, which probably is the biggest source of my anxiety. I can't give my work and volunteer organization my availability, and it's only a few weeks away, dammit! Hello, Preceptor...email me, willya? Please? Who knows, I might be doing night shifts this semester!

So, anyway, that's all that's been going on here with me. Nothing much, basically. I'll keep you posted.

Sporadically. :D

Unusual Compliment

Here's one I've never heard before, that I got from a client the other day:

"You're awakening my soul!"

Allrighty then...I'll take that.

Rude!

We were sitting in a restaurant celebrating SCI-FI's birthday the other day, and I noticed a couple at a nearby table who appeared to be on a romantic-type date. There was some snuggling before the male half of the couple moved to the other side of the table, lots of intimate looks and smiles, but what stood out the most to me is the smart phone resting on the woman's lap. Even while eating she'd glance down at it and even text occasionally (or type, who knows?).

Is this acceptable behavior now? I found it incredibly tacky and rude. My daughter Chaos played devil's advocate and reasonably pointed out that perhaps the lady had something urgent going on at work and needed to keep working on it through dinner.

Hmph. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think it's wrong to focus so much of one's attention on a digital device while out on a date. Put it in your purse or pocket, in silent mode or off.

YAY!

I have a child (Hi, TalliahAngel!!) who is in the process of enlisting in the US Air Force.

She took her ASVAB today (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) and scored 94!!
I'm so proud of her!

Now it looks like she's set to take the DLAB (Defense Language Aptitude Battery) next week, which is the next step in becoming a Cryptologic Linguist...like mother (and father), like daughter!

Proud mother is proud.

Identical Twin Humor

As a mother of (identical) twins, I've had to learn to tolerate the sometimes inexplicable humor my girls share.

Take yesterday, for example. We're driving down the highway, and one twin (who is wearing the same hair accessory and (almost) identical glasses as the other, which is NOT a common occurrence) says to her sister,
"You're so DUMB. Look at your dumb BOW, and your dumb GLASSES, and your dumb FACE!"

Immediately her sister ripostes, "No, YOU'RE so dumb! Look at YOUR dumb bow, and YOUR dumb glasses, and YOUR dumb face!"

Cue uproarious laughter from the girls, but not from me. I'm too busy trying not to crash the car as I simultaneously facepalm and roll my eyes.

Oh and the most inexplicable thing about all this is that my twins turn 21 this year...and they're STILL making jokes like this (and finding them funny!)

Quote of the Day

My daughter Chaos, outraged upon hearing that there's no McDonald's in Terminal 7 of LAX:


How can there be no McDonald's?! This is the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave!!!


Welcome home, Honey! 


 

For some reason...

I get a kick out of my two pups simultaneously lifting a leg on opposite sides of a tree/post/hydrant. Anytime this happens, I admonish them with

Don't cross the streams!!

I'm VERY easily amused.

To all the good ones out there...

Hopefully you know who you are and are valued!

Happy Fathers' Day!!!!

Quote of the Day

"Starbucks coffee tastes like heartburn. Or dragon piss. And Starbucks espresso tastes like vodka plus heartburn."

Missed the date...

Looking at the calendar, I realize that a few days ago was the 12th anniversary of the date my divorce was final. Now I've been divorced the same length of time I was married.

Make of that what you will, I suppose.

So...

I now have this fairly cushy spa gig, where I'm the only massage therapist on duty during my particular shift. It's a really nice spa which mainly focuses on skin care, so massage is almost an afterthought, but I'm working really hard to shift that perception, one massage and client at a time. ;)

So far it's not been very taxing, except for my first day where I subbed for the call-out and got thrown in with no prep. Business has been slow and I don't mind.

What gets me is my volunteer work.

Two hours a week I go into Boston and massage people from a pretty marginalized population. I'm sorry I'm being so vague, but I really can't go into detail without potentially giving away the organization I volunteer for, which defeats the purpose of this whole "anonymous blogging" gig, not to mention it risks violating my clients' privacy.

Physically the work is generally very easy, I've only had a couple of clients who've wanted deep tissue massage, but emotionally...it's been harrowing.

I've had clients experience emotional breakdowns during the massage session, sobbing and covering their faces. I've had clients relate traumatic events to me. I had a client tell me that he feels more comfortable talking to me than his therapist.

Touch is a powerful force, and I will never abuse it. And as difficult as these sessions might be for me, my clients are the ones who have lived through experiences I hope I never will, and are dealing daily with problems I can only view from the outside, for which I'm truly grateful.

All I can do is give them the best massage I possibly can, listen empathetically, and offer tissues, not platitudes. Hopefully that's enough.

FINALLY Part II

My grades for this semester FINALLY posted...

Yay, straight A's! I've not managed that in a couple semesters now, so it's about frickin' time.

I'm so happy. Now it's time to relax a bit. Headed to the movies soon for (possibly) a double feature, definitely Amazing Spiderman 2, possibly Godzilla, and who knows? I really want to see X-Men: Days of Future Past, too...

Memorial Day

Thank you for your sacrifice. I hope we who were left behind prove worthy of it.

 

FINALLY!

Last final completed, last major project plus paper finished and turned in (attheverylastminute!).

I am exhausted but yet I FEEL FANTASTIC! Summer, here I come!

And you know...next semester is my LAST semester in nursing school, w00t! Can't wait to be completely done.

When squirrels attack!

We live on an acre of land, and the neighbors have about the same size lot. There's no fence, and they don't care if my dogs are roaming around over there because 1. my dogs ignore the chickens and 2. more poop=more fertilizer.

After the incident of Tucker getting tagged by a car while attempting to get into a garbage bag left by the side of the road, I've been much more diligent about always going out with the dogs and keeping them within sight while they're doing their business (which includes scrounging under the neighbor's rabbit hutches for dropped food).

This morning, while half awake, I was standing in my jammies in the shade of a tree while observing my pups water the flowers (so to speak), when suddenly I was nearly beaned in the head by a bagel.

Yes, a bagel. From the sky.

As I stood there stupidly gazing at the bagel lying innocently in the grass, my sleepy brain trying to process it, I heard a rustling up in the tree and quickly looked up to spy an EVIL SQUIRREL looking back at me with its beady black eyes.

"Ah HAH," I triumphantly crowed. "Behold the villain of the piece!"

Now the question is: Did the squirrel really try to hit me in the head with the bagel? Or was it trying to appease the canine brute squad by tossing the bread down to them in the hopes that it itself would be ignored ("Please, for the love of all that's holy, TAKE THE BAGEL BUT SPARE ME! I have kits in the nest that need me!").
 There is some truth to this, because my dogs did run over immediately after they literally saw manna fall from heaven, and only my sharply-spoken "Leave it!" deterred them from starting to nosh.

Of course, the most mundane explanation is that the squirrel merely lost control of the too-big-for-it-to-carry-easily food item, and the timing is just coincidence...but considering the look we exchanged as we made eye contact...

I THINK NOT!

Gonna have to wear a hard hat when walking the dogs now.

Serendipity

So, I quit my job at the spa effective March 1st, thinking that it was really time for me to find a job in a hospital, like a tech or aide position. Since then, I've been volunteering my massage services weekly, which is very rewarding in every way but one, the one needed to pay my bills!

I've applied for seven different positions at five different hospitals, and have yet to hear back from a single HR department, and when I call, I'm told the "application process takes time," and many variations of "don't call us, we'll call you."

Swell, thanks.

A couple days ago, TallyAngel and I were running errands in the neighborhood, one of which was her getting her hair cut. Her preferred salon is right next to a fairly upscale day spa, and loth to sit around and wait, I wandered next door with my Starbucks venti cup in hand, wearing jeans and a t-shirt and ratty sneakers, just to see what's what.

The lady behind the counter turned out to be the spa manager, and I casually asked her if she was hiring massage therapists. Her face lit up as she exclaimed, "Yes! What's your availability? I'm assuming you're state licensed? Can you email me your resume?"

I walked out after having had a tour of the spa, questions about commission, hours, and the like answered, and setting up a practical  (like an audition) for the next day.

Yesterday, I showed up and wowed her with my amazing massage skillz and magic fingers (and elbows!), and after speaking for a bit with the Vice President of the company (who told me that my resume was *ahem* "impressive"), I was offered a position.

I go in in an hour to fill out all the boring forms and make copies of my various certificates and licenses, then I start next week!

Serendipity-doo-dah, Bitches! Woo-hoo!
 _________________________________________________________________________________
Update:

Serendipity strikes AGAIN!

Exactly 23 minutes after this post went live, while I was in the middle of eating breakfast, my phone rang. It was the manager of the spa, and she was frantic: the sole massage therapist working Saturdays had called in sick, and would I be willing to jump in and cover her shift? With the first massage starting at 9:15?

If it involves making some much-needed moolah, then count me in!

So I came, I massaged, and I conquered. $90 in cash tips later, plus 39% commission, plus whatever credit card tip the one client left me...yeah, I'd say it was a good move to "help out". LOL...

The icing on the cake? Right before I left for the day, while I was finally filling out that boring paperwork, the manager mentioned that this was the second time in six weeks the Saturday therapist had called in sick, leaving the spa with no massage coverage. Then she said that if I wanted Saturdays, too, that shift was mine...

I'm feeling pretty good right now. Exhausted, but good!

Dream/Nightmare

I had a dream about a week ago. It starred Old NFO as a sooper seekrit spy type dude. There were all these covert operations and James Bond-type shenanigans, then he had a new assignment which required him to team up with another agent who had to pretend to be his wife...

Old NFO, you were "married" to my classmate Damarys, who's 25, from the Dominican Republic, and smoking hot. You're welcome. ;)

My nightmare was last night. Ugh.

I was lucky enough this semester to have my pediatric clinical rotation be over half-way through the semester, as we doubled up on our clinical hours every week to free up the clinical site for the next group of students. So my last Monday clinical was on March 24th. Except when I dream.

I dreamed that I woke up in a patient's room in my jammies, on a Monday morning, and it was apparently my very last clinical day. The patient was a small infant lying in a crib, and the nurse was bustling around telling me to hurry up. She told me, "He needs a blood transfusion. Take care of it."
Then she walked out of the room, leaving me alone with the sick, listless infant.

I walked over to the old-fashioned refrigerator that was inexplicably inside the room. It looked much like this one, only it was pale yellow instead of green. 

                                              source

I opened the door to find bags of blood hanging inside, so I grabbed one and turned to my patient.

Luckily, even asleep, sanity prevailed and I realized, "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! I never learned how and I need HELP!!"

That's when I woke up; it was 3:30 AM. It took me until 5 AM to calm down enough to go back to sleep.

I think it's about fucking time this semester ended. One more week of classes, one big project, a med-calc exam, and two finals, then I'll be free for the summer. It can't come soon enough to suit me!