Public Service Announcement

Dear Oblivious Slow Drivers in the Fast Lane:

Get. The. FUCK. Out. Of. My. Way. 

Or I'm gonna shank a bitch.

Oh, hell. Why limit it to the fast lane? ALL of you oblivious slow drivers, GET OUTTA MY WAY.

Channelling Inigo Montoya

Written on a tip envelope


  "Thanks for a mollifying morning!! :)"


Somehow I don't think he really knows what that word means.

Here we go again...

Clients coming in who have colds. No. Just no.


Also: HAPPY BELATED THANKSGIVING. Sorry, I was in food coma for most of the day and forgot to post anything.

Today

I played Scattergories and dominoes with psych patients. Hey, every clinical should be this fun!

However, I didn't appreciate the asshat behind me who was HONKING because I didn't blithely make a left turn into oncoming traffic. Sorry that I didn't use my telekinetic powers to move the cars out of the way so that you could get home faster, Douchebag, but I'm not supposed to use them for expedience.

Quote of the Day

"Everything's better with melted chocolate!"

Typical

I had to use off-site parking at school today. Of course the only space I could score was at the ass end of beyond.

Well, that sucks, I thought. I'm going to be coming back here after dark...but wait, at least the parking space is right under a light!

Which of course turned out to be the ONLY light that was not working tonight. Everywhere else was brightly illuminated, but my car was in a pool of shadow.

*sigh*

The HORROR!

Giving a group presentation on Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) in my Nursing Ethics Class.

Showing a Youtube video using the classroom computer and campus wifi, which apparently doesn't have Adblock or anything similar.

Having ads for FUCKING RAZORS pop up during the video, where young girls and women are describing the horrible mutilation they experienced at the hands of those who should love and protect them.

Fucking insane and ridiculous and I wanted to die. ARGH.

Quote of the Day

"Knead my ass like it's a lump of dough...!"

Alrighty then...

Christina's Time-Saving Techniques...

1. Assess line at cafe; note it's really, really long.
2. Realize you only have five minutes before your next class and you NEED CAFFEINE.
3. Grab a coke.
4. Approach the young man who's second in line, ask him what he plans to order.
5. After ascertaining he's only getting an iced coffee, offer to buy it for him if you can sneak your coke in, too.
6. Pay for coke and iced coffee and go on your way.

WIN-WIN

Quote of the Day

"Is he barking through his monkey?"

Sassy Bank Sign

GO, RED SOX!
NOW GO SHAVE.

Gotta love my clients!

A client wrote on a tip envelope:

Thx for the back and butt magic!! :)

There are worse things to be known for than being a purveyor of BUTT MAGIC (said in an exaggerated fashion while doing jazz hands and spirit fingers...)

I should put that on my business cards.

Overheard in a Birthing Suite

Husband (speaking anxiously to wife in labor): Honey, are you okay?!

Wife (with a very slight smile on her face): I have a HEAD in my PELVIS.


He didn't ask her again.

It's always nice...

when the owner of the spa is within earshot when a client tells the front desk staff that the massage she just received from me was the BEST MASSAGE EVAR.

I had a dream

I dreamed that today was Sunday and I didn't have to go to work. Then I woke up.

*sigh*

It would have been a dream come true!

Off to the salt mines, Y'all.

Public Service Announcement

If you're driving in heavy traffic through a tunnel, don't become obsessed with identifying the movie the kids in the minivan in front of you are watching. It will not end well.

Note to Self: Don't Blog When Exhausted...

I had my mental health clinical today, and it was a very good day.

A gentleman complimented me on my sweater.

A lady told me after a lengthy conversation that I had "a good light." (I got verklempt!)

(...)

Edited by author to remove stuff that wouldn't have been added had she not been totally exhausted.

Driving among Massholes

You must be prepared to SLAMONTHEBRAKES at any given nanosecond. Just sayin'.

Missin' my Blogorado Peeps.

I haz a sad.

Also: Stingray without Labrat is like peanut butter without jelly. I sense a disturbance in the force.

Oh, well...NEXT YEAR I'LL BE THERE, NO MATTER WHAT!!!

Dream or nightmare?

You decide!

I dreamed I was working an overnight at the hospital, and rather than taking care of patients, the entire staff sang karaoke together, instead. LOUDLY.

The worst part is we were supposedly singing "Fernando" by ABBA, but even my subconscious doesn't know the song very well,  so it was a mash-up of "Fernando" and "Mandy" by Barry Manilow.

Fernando:

Mandy:

Yeah, I vote "nightmare". My brain is seriously fucked up.