A couple weeks ago on a Tuesday I did a trade with my friend A., with whom I work at the spa, and received a FANTASTIC massage. I strolled into work on Wednesday night feeling like a million bucks and greeted the usual gang. A. was there, and I immediately thanked her for the wonderful massage and mentioned that I had even posted her awesomeness on the facebookenings.
Meanwhile, as I continued my effusiveness, I observed A.'s face becoming more and more, well STUFFED looking. You might even say "constipated". My babbling trickled to a halt as I realized I must have stepped in it somehow. (Not an uncommon occurrence in my lifetime, trust me!)
I quickly changed the subject and a short while later A. escorted me out the back where we could have a conversation not likely to be overheard.
It turns out that A. had been asked by L. to do a trade on Tuesday, too. But A. had put her off, telling her "[she had] something to do on Tuesday."
Yeah, that would be trading massages with moi!
And of course when I first entered the break room and started blathering about the epic massage I had received and how AWESOME A. was, L. was standing right behind me and heard everything.
I realize that I really didn't do anything wrong since A. hadn't apprised me of the situation, but I was still mighty embarrassed.
Oh, well. Awkward is my middle name.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Friday, July 19, 2013
All Zumba Classes are not Created Equal
*WARNING* incredibly boring blogpost ahead, consider yourselves warned!
So, I've been pretty proud of myself for heading to the local Y every Sunday morning for the past six weeks or so for a most excellent Zumba class. Doing the same thing over and over again at the gym gets really old, really fast, so I decided recently to mix things up a bit, taking yoga, Zumba, and a brutal weight-lifting class. I've always considered myself a fairly decent dancer (oh, hell...who am I kidding, *I* think I ROCK!), and I took ballet as a child and ballroom dancing classes as a teenager.
C., our Sunday morning instructor, is always cheerful and full of energy, and her class is always packed. I believe we've had up to 30 participants, which makes for a very crowded room. It's a fantastic over-all workout and I feel I'm getting my money's worth. So far I've stuck to the back of the class, but I think I've got most of the routines down well enough now that I could move up a row or so this coming Sunday.
Yesterday I was idly perusing the class schedule at the Y, and lo and behold: A Friday morning Zumba class! Perfect, I thought. I always drag my feet going to the gym, but if I know a class is scheduled, I make more of an effort to get my butt in gear.
Dear God, I should have known better.
My first clue should have been the relatively small size of the class, only ten or so people. My second clue should have been the lack of, well, people of a certain age, shall we say. Third would be that three of the participants were male. Further indications of the hell to come would have been obvious to a toddler, such as the minuscule, artfully torn, midriff-bearing, brightly colored, "ZUMBA"-emblazoned outfits most of the others were wearing. Not to mention the tanned, toned,
pumped, and buff bodies encased by said outfits. Did I mention the six-packs on display? No, I'm not talking about beer, more's the pity!
Speaking of pity... pity me, dear Readers!
The instructor, H., was friendly and up-beat, and she started the class at a high intensity. Then she turned it up to ELEVEN. I tried my best to keep up, and focused on the footwork, mostly eschewing the hands/arms.
You know, I've always thought that I could swing my hips and shake my ass with the best of them, but I was WRONG WRONG WRONG. I never knew that Zumba required twerking skills! (Look it up, Folks. My children enlightened me. *shudder*)
I was panting and sweating buckets within minutes, keeping my gaze glued to the instructors feet and her gyrating ass, totally acceptable behavior in Zumba class, I might add.
Every once in a while, I would catch a glimpse of a doughy, whiter-than-white, stiff and totally awkward middle-aged chick in the mirror, then I'd realize: Oh, yeah. That's me. Fuck.
But you know what? Even though I wanted to quit half-way through, I stuck it out to the end, mentally composing this blogpost as a coping mechanism, to distance myself from the torture. I also eventually realized that several of the folks who were madly gyrating along with H. were actually Zumba instructors themselves, which made me feel a bit better about my lack of coordination and grace. Not to mention my lack of booty-shaking skillz.
And you know something else? I'll be back there next Friday at 9:00. I can't possibly get any worse, so that means I can only get better!
GO, ME!
So, I've been pretty proud of myself for heading to the local Y every Sunday morning for the past six weeks or so for a most excellent Zumba class. Doing the same thing over and over again at the gym gets really old, really fast, so I decided recently to mix things up a bit, taking yoga, Zumba, and a brutal weight-lifting class. I've always considered myself a fairly decent dancer (oh, hell...who am I kidding, *I* think I ROCK!), and I took ballet as a child and ballroom dancing classes as a teenager.
C., our Sunday morning instructor, is always cheerful and full of energy, and her class is always packed. I believe we've had up to 30 participants, which makes for a very crowded room. It's a fantastic over-all workout and I feel I'm getting my money's worth. So far I've stuck to the back of the class, but I think I've got most of the routines down well enough now that I could move up a row or so this coming Sunday.
Yesterday I was idly perusing the class schedule at the Y, and lo and behold: A Friday morning Zumba class! Perfect, I thought. I always drag my feet going to the gym, but if I know a class is scheduled, I make more of an effort to get my butt in gear.
Dear God, I should have known better.
My first clue should have been the relatively small size of the class, only ten or so people. My second clue should have been the lack of, well, people of a certain age, shall we say. Third would be that three of the participants were male. Further indications of the hell to come would have been obvious to a toddler, such as the minuscule, artfully torn, midriff-bearing, brightly colored, "ZUMBA"-emblazoned outfits most of the others were wearing. Not to mention the tanned, toned,
pumped, and buff bodies encased by said outfits. Did I mention the six-packs on display? No, I'm not talking about beer, more's the pity!
Speaking of pity... pity me, dear Readers!
The instructor, H., was friendly and up-beat, and she started the class at a high intensity. Then she turned it up to ELEVEN. I tried my best to keep up, and focused on the footwork, mostly eschewing the hands/arms.
You know, I've always thought that I could swing my hips and shake my ass with the best of them, but I was WRONG WRONG WRONG. I never knew that Zumba required twerking skills! (Look it up, Folks. My children enlightened me. *shudder*)
I was panting and sweating buckets within minutes, keeping my gaze glued to the instructors feet and her gyrating ass, totally acceptable behavior in Zumba class, I might add.
Every once in a while, I would catch a glimpse of a doughy, whiter-than-white, stiff and totally awkward middle-aged chick in the mirror, then I'd realize: Oh, yeah. That's me. Fuck.
But you know what? Even though I wanted to quit half-way through, I stuck it out to the end, mentally composing this blogpost as a coping mechanism, to distance myself from the torture. I also eventually realized that several of the folks who were madly gyrating along with H. were actually Zumba instructors themselves, which made me feel a bit better about my lack of coordination and grace. Not to mention my lack of booty-shaking skillz.
And you know something else? I'll be back there next Friday at 9:00. I can't possibly get any worse, so that means I can only get better!
GO, ME!
Monday, July 08, 2013
Quote of the Day from my Youngest (by 21 endless, pain-filled minutes) Daughter
Said in a sepulchral tone of deepest melancholy, while contemplating her black-on-black sneakers as we're driving to weight-lifting class:
My shoes are a reflection of my soul...
I larfed.
My shoes are a reflection of my soul...
I larfed.
Who edits these things?
I just received my mental health nursing clinical placement form, which I need to fill out and return to my school as soon as possible.
Here are the errors I found on the form:
fACULTY (minor, I know, but I'm nitpicky ;).)
DISPBUSMENT (I have no idea what this is supposed to be, disbursement maybe? Is it an acronym?)
A run-on sentence:
The following information is required in order to submit your fingerprints which will be taken by human resources as part of processing your appointment or in connection with the reinvestigation required due to the risk level associate (sic) with your position.
FOLLWINTG (following)
WIEGHT (weight)
I dunno, maybe I'm being too harsh. But this IS an official form and the errors (which not only display an underlying laziness and lack of concern, but could also easily be corrected) piss me off.
Somebody is not doing his/her job. Yet getting paid for it.
Fuckers.
Here are the errors I found on the form:
fACULTY (minor, I know, but I'm nitpicky ;).)
DISPBUSMENT (I have no idea what this is supposed to be, disbursement maybe? Is it an acronym?)
A run-on sentence:
The following information is required in order to submit your fingerprints which will be taken by human resources as part of processing your appointment or in connection with the reinvestigation required due to the risk level associate (sic) with your position.
FOLLWINTG (following)
WIEGHT (weight)
I dunno, maybe I'm being too harsh. But this IS an official form and the errors (which not only display an underlying laziness and lack of concern, but could also easily be corrected) piss me off.
Somebody is not doing his/her job. Yet getting paid for it.
Fuckers.
Saturday, July 06, 2013
Context is EVERYTHING.
File this one under "Things I Never Expected to Hear my Doctor Say to Me.":
"Good thing you don't sleep naked."
"Good thing you don't sleep naked."
Tuesday, July 02, 2013
Interesting day at work.
Not only was I called The Human Rolling-pin (a good thing, trust me), but I was subjected to (too) much conversation on the brilliance of a client's child. Yeah, the mom told me how much her daughter's "photogenic memory" helped her in school. I had to bite my tongue and just nodded my head and murmured assent. Hey, I need the tip money!
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Karma is a bitch!
Just ask the motorcyclist who almost ran over me and my dogs yesterday.
My pups and I were finishing our morning constitutional and were waiting for a break in the typical morning rush hour traffic to cross the busy, two-lane street in front of our house. Nicely enough, a local cop in his patrol car stopped to let us cross. Harley, Tucker, and I hustled across the oncoming traffic lane, then passed in front of the cop car and were about to make it onto the sidewalk when we had to come to a screeching halt because an impatient motorcyclist on his crotch-rocket decided that he didn't need to wait in the line of cars. Nope, he thought it was a good idea to go speeding alongside the stopped vehicles. Places to go, people to see. And apparently run over, too. Have I mentioned there's no shoulder on this road? Luckily he was able to stop in time, but not before scaring the shit out of me and my dogs and pissing me right the fuck off. Tucker even pulled out of his collar and was loose in the street.
After hurling choice invective at the helmeted bonehead, I was focused on getting Tucker leashed and all three of us off of the road. The nice police officer had a different priority, though. After courteously waiting until my dogs and I were safe, he turned on his pretty lights and siren and disabused the motorcyclist of his notion that he could continue on his merry way unscathed. They were still there fifteen minutes later when I was putting the trash by the curb.
That put a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I hope they threw the book at him.
Ah, Karma...sometimes you're on my side.
My pups and I were finishing our morning constitutional and were waiting for a break in the typical morning rush hour traffic to cross the busy, two-lane street in front of our house. Nicely enough, a local cop in his patrol car stopped to let us cross. Harley, Tucker, and I hustled across the oncoming traffic lane, then passed in front of the cop car and were about to make it onto the sidewalk when we had to come to a screeching halt because an impatient motorcyclist on his crotch-rocket decided that he didn't need to wait in the line of cars. Nope, he thought it was a good idea to go speeding alongside the stopped vehicles. Places to go, people to see. And apparently run over, too. Have I mentioned there's no shoulder on this road? Luckily he was able to stop in time, but not before scaring the shit out of me and my dogs and pissing me right the fuck off. Tucker even pulled out of his collar and was loose in the street.
After hurling choice invective at the helmeted bonehead, I was focused on getting Tucker leashed and all three of us off of the road. The nice police officer had a different priority, though. After courteously waiting until my dogs and I were safe, he turned on his pretty lights and siren and disabused the motorcyclist of his notion that he could continue on his merry way unscathed. They were still there fifteen minutes later when I was putting the trash by the curb.
That put a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I hope they threw the book at him.
Ah, Karma...sometimes you're on my side.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Generally...
...whenever a foreign-born (male!) client answers my question of "Have you ever had a massage before?" with "Well, not a massage like this...back home, massage is TOTALLY different," I have my suspicions on how the session is going to go. And I'm (unfortunately) usually right.
*sigh*
And to add insult to injury, he didn't tip me.
I'll have to have the front desk add a note to his file: If client calls to schedule another massage, refer him to Soong's Pleasure Palace down the road.
*sigh*
And to add insult to injury, he didn't tip me.
I'll have to have the front desk add a note to his file: If client calls to schedule another massage, refer him to Soong's Pleasure Palace down the road.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Overheard in the Car...
Tally: OMG, this song is unicorn herpes!
Me: *blink blink* Whut?
Tally: You know? It's all *magical* and it never leaves you! You get it totally stuck in your head.
Me: Back in MY day, we called that an "earworm"...
Me: *blink blink* Whut?
Tally: You know? It's all *magical* and it never leaves you! You get it totally stuck in your head.
Me: Back in MY day, we called that an "earworm"...
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Jenga Madness!
Believe it or not, I managed to reach my advanced age without ever playing the game Jenga. My daughters were quick to try to exploit my inexperience...to their detriment, as I proceeded to build to VICTORY and trounce them. Heheheheheh.
Here's a pic of one of Chaos' and my towers, it is an epic construction which proceeded to tumble mere seconds after this shot was taken.
I think it's pretty impressive!
Here's a pic of one of Chaos' and my towers, it is an epic construction which proceeded to tumble mere seconds after this shot was taken.
Fun visit!
Yesterday, Rivendell was graced by the presence of Wally and the lovely A.!
Much delicious food was consumed, many fun discussions were had, and we got the dock put together and installed. (Wally, Sci-Fi, and various progeny literally took the plunge and did the lake end of things...I was more than willing to tote that barge and lift that bale, as long as I didn't have to get into the lake. BRRRRRR....)
It's nice to spend time with good friends, and we'll have to do it again REALLY SOON. Because fun. And because BACON AND BURGERS. :D
Much delicious food was consumed, many fun discussions were had, and we got the dock put together and installed. (Wally, Sci-Fi, and various progeny literally took the plunge and did the lake end of things...I was more than willing to tote that barge and lift that bale, as long as I didn't have to get into the lake. BRRRRRR....)
It's nice to spend time with good friends, and we'll have to do it again REALLY SOON. Because fun. And because BACON AND BURGERS. :D
Sunday, May 26, 2013
The Blue Zephyr...
...is a snazzy car to someone who drove a bare-bones, manual transmission car for almost a decade. It's automatic and it even has CRUISE CONTROL.
The only problem is, when you've worked hard all day and then have a three-hour drive in the rain, cruise control combined with the mesmerizing shush-shush of the windshield wipers, the cars in front of you throwing up clouds of mist, the hum of the tires on the wet pavement, and the sameness of the countryside all lead to an increasingly rapidly approaching stupor.
Not really a safe situation.
Thank heavens for TallyAngel's conversation, my dog Harley's frantic attempts to get to the front of the car where the trash bag with the WENDY'S DETRITUS was located (yes, I'm positive in his teeny-tiny brain it was ALL IN CAPS), and caffeine.
We arrived safely in Rivendell, albeit a little damp around the edges, and now we're going to rest for a few days. Well deserved after the semester from hell.
While I'm sitting on my butt, surfing the 'net, reading trashy novels (and some not-so-trashy), and playing board games with most of my family, I will take more than one moment to reflect on those who gave their lives so that I can sit here in comfort, taking my ease.
Thank you so much for your sacrifice, I will never forget.
The only problem is, when you've worked hard all day and then have a three-hour drive in the rain, cruise control combined with the mesmerizing shush-shush of the windshield wipers, the cars in front of you throwing up clouds of mist, the hum of the tires on the wet pavement, and the sameness of the countryside all lead to an increasingly rapidly approaching stupor.
Not really a safe situation.
Thank heavens for TallyAngel's conversation, my dog Harley's frantic attempts to get to the front of the car where the trash bag with the WENDY'S DETRITUS was located (yes, I'm positive in his teeny-tiny brain it was ALL IN CAPS), and caffeine.
We arrived safely in Rivendell, albeit a little damp around the edges, and now we're going to rest for a few days. Well deserved after the semester from hell.
While I'm sitting on my butt, surfing the 'net, reading trashy novels (and some not-so-trashy), and playing board games with most of my family, I will take more than one moment to reflect on those who gave their lives so that I can sit here in comfort, taking my ease.
Thank you so much for your sacrifice, I will never forget.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Beyond pissed.
Well, ONE FUCKING POINT destroyed my GPA. My 9-credit Adult Health class only had points from the four exams we took, even the final was only worth 25% of the grade. I got, respectively, 96, 86, 94, and 96 on the exams. All the papers I had to write for my clinical (which has the same professor) were worth nothing. I don't know why she bothered even grading them and assigning points. I don't know why I even bothered working so hard on them and why I stressed so much. If I had gotten ONE MORE QUESTION correct, on any of the exams, my overall score would have been 94. Instead, the average is 93. Which, of course, is an A-. Since it is a 9-credit class, this A- torpedoed my 4.0, and now I have a 3.927. I know, I know..."first world problem", right?
Whatever, all I know is that I don't know why I try so hard, and now there's no point anymore. Who cares?
_______________________________________________________________________________
Yes, I know the math is not quite right. The first three exams were 50 questions, two points each. The final was 100 questions, one point each. ARGH.
Whatever, all I know is that I don't know why I try so hard, and now there's no point anymore. Who cares?
_______________________________________________________________________________
Yes, I know the math is not quite right. The first three exams were 50 questions, two points each. The final was 100 questions, one point each. ARGH.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Bay-bee-sitt-er? What's that?
Yesterday afternoon, a lady scheduled for a massage arrived right on time.
Yay.
Unfortunately, she arrived with her two daughters, aged somewhere between eight and ten. Even more unfortunately, the two people working the reception desk were young, easily intimidated (read "steamrollered"), and didn't say anything until the client had already been taken back by the therapist for her session. Then, and only then, they called one of our managers to bitch about it "not being [their] job" to babysit.
No shit, Sherlock! What's far more important is the LIABILITY issue. Not to mention the other guests getting services...they certainly didn't want to hear a bunch of giggling and trampling of little feet down the halls.
The manager said the only thing he could: it was too late to do anything about it.
I really hope they drove home to the lady after her massage that she couldn't bring her kids with her again.
Unless she brings them right into the room with her (relaxing!). Otherwise the precedent has been set, and she'll think it's a-okay to schlepp her crotch-fruit with her to the spa anytime.
She and her kids are just lucky that I missed the whole kerfluffle because I was in services the entire time.
Duct tape is my friend...
heheheheheheh
Yay.
Unfortunately, she arrived with her two daughters, aged somewhere between eight and ten. Even more unfortunately, the two people working the reception desk were young, easily intimidated (read "steamrollered"), and didn't say anything until the client had already been taken back by the therapist for her session. Then, and only then, they called one of our managers to bitch about it "not being [their] job" to babysit.
No shit, Sherlock! What's far more important is the LIABILITY issue. Not to mention the other guests getting services...they certainly didn't want to hear a bunch of giggling and trampling of little feet down the halls.
The manager said the only thing he could: it was too late to do anything about it.
I really hope they drove home to the lady after her massage that she couldn't bring her kids with her again.
Unless she brings them right into the room with her (relaxing!). Otherwise the precedent has been set, and she'll think it's a-okay to schlepp her crotch-fruit with her to the spa anytime.
She and her kids are just lucky that I missed the whole kerfluffle because I was in services the entire time.
Duct tape is my friend...
heheheheheheh
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Will you look at that?
I've got ANOTHER friend who's just published a kick-ass, SF novel!
Peter, aka Bayou Renaissance Man, has always been one of my favorites blog-reads, and his move to fiction is a wonderful and welcome development.
So, go, buy, and read "Take the Star Road". I guarantee you won't be disappointed!
Peter, aka Bayou Renaissance Man, has always been one of my favorites blog-reads, and his move to fiction is a wonderful and welcome development.
So, go, buy, and read "Take the Star Road". I guarantee you won't be disappointed!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Saturday Haiku (Shades of Scarlett O'Hara)
My pets need their shots
waiting in line at Petco
estimate: one hour
An old yellow lab
shits aisle-blocking poo-puddle
sudden change of plans!
Tomorrow I'll try,
poosplosion-fate-temptation,
a different Petco!
waiting in line at Petco
estimate: one hour
An old yellow lab
shits aisle-blocking poo-puddle
sudden change of plans!
Tomorrow I'll try,
poosplosion-fate-temptation,
a different Petco!
Friday, May 10, 2013
Last day of clinical...
Had to work 1100-2330. Finished with a Code Blue that was unsuccessful. And my partner confused gout with goiter.
I've learned so much over the past few months, and I'm so grateful to my nurse/instructor, who does an excellent job at both. Now I've got three more exams and two finals, then my summer may begin!
I've learned so much over the past few months, and I'm so grateful to my nurse/instructor, who does an excellent job at both. Now I've got three more exams and two finals, then my summer may begin!
Sunday, May 05, 2013
Conversation during clinical
I'm at a computer, working on my nursing progress note of the day, when my partner approaches me...
Partner (looking down at her scut sheet): What's an MI again?
Me (trying to keep the disbelief from showing on my face or in my voice): A myocardial infarction...?
Partner: ...
Me (now unable to hide my incredulity): A heart attack?!
Partner (slapping her forehead with her palm): Oh, RIGHT! That makes sense, it says there was a metal stent placed. But why do I keep thinking "muscle"?
Me (in lecture mode): Because "myo" means "muscle"; the cardiac muscle is affected by a myocardial infarction...
Partner: Right, thanks...now I just have to look up what sennosides are...
Me: ...
I think I have a permanent bruise on my forehead from all the headdesking I've been doing.
Partner (looking down at her scut sheet): What's an MI again?
Me (trying to keep the disbelief from showing on my face or in my voice): A myocardial infarction...?
Partner: ...
Me (now unable to hide my incredulity): A heart attack?!
Partner (slapping her forehead with her palm): Oh, RIGHT! That makes sense, it says there was a metal stent placed. But why do I keep thinking "muscle"?
Me (in lecture mode): Because "myo" means "muscle"; the cardiac muscle is affected by a myocardial infarction...
Partner: Right, thanks...now I just have to look up what sennosides are...
Me: ...
I think I have a permanent bruise on my forehead from all the headdesking I've been doing.
Saturday, May 04, 2013
Thursday, May 02, 2013
Faith in Humanity Restored:
when a busker at a train station stops in the middle of a song to give a clueless tourist directions.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Not to go all "Tales from the Toilet" on you or anything...
But first there was this, and then today, a young lady was POPPING HER PIMPLES in the public restroom.
WTF is WRONG with people?!
There is a line, and she didn't just cross it, she stampeded over it, blowing it up with thermite as she passed and salting the earth for good measure, as soon as it had cooled enough.
I think I threw up a little in my mouth...
WTF is WRONG with people?!
There is a line, and she didn't just cross it, she stampeded over it, blowing it up with thermite as she passed and salting the earth for good measure, as soon as it had cooled enough.
I think I threw up a little in my mouth...
If you like werewolf/vampire (urban fantasy) stories...
then you HAVE to read "Written in Red" by Anne Bishop! Yeah, I was all, "Yawn...another vampire/werewolf/human story."
*insert eyeroll*
But I'm a huge fan of Ms. Bishop's so I gave it a shot. I'm SO glad I did! Just when I thought nothing new could be wrung from that tired old trope, she took it, shook it out, and made it look AWESOME and fresh.
I don't want to give anything away, but let me tell you this: I have very little time currently for reading fiction. The semester is coming to an end and I have a boatload of things to finish and lots of studying to do. Yet in the two weeks or so since I bought the book, I've read it THREE TIMES. Yep. Three. I have other books in my TBR pile, yet I chose to reread "Written in Red".
And that means something.
Get it and enjoy.
*insert eyeroll*
But I'm a huge fan of Ms. Bishop's so I gave it a shot. I'm SO glad I did! Just when I thought nothing new could be wrung from that tired old trope, she took it, shook it out, and made it look AWESOME and fresh.
I don't want to give anything away, but let me tell you this: I have very little time currently for reading fiction. The semester is coming to an end and I have a boatload of things to finish and lots of studying to do. Yet in the two weeks or so since I bought the book, I've read it THREE TIMES. Yep. Three. I have other books in my TBR pile, yet I chose to reread "Written in Red".
And that means something.
Get it and enjoy.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Saturday, April 20, 2013
On a lighter note...
Just before I left the hospital after clinical the other evening, I prudently made a pitstop at the public restrooms on the first floor. After all, you never know if the train service is going to be delayed (or canceled!), and you should never miss an opportunity to pee, right?
As I was winding up my affairs, I heard a phone ring nearby, and a man answered and started talking.
"Odd," I thought. "Is the door somehow propped open, and the guy is talking right outside? I hope nobody heard me pee!"
As I was washing my hands, I realized that the voice was coming from a stall behind me.
"Excuse me, but this is the women's bathroom."
"WHAT?! I'm in the WOMEN'S ROOM?! Oh, God...hold on, I'll call you right back!"
So, not only did he waltz into the women's bathroom without noticing the lack of urinals, he also answered the phone while taking a dump!
I didn't wait to see if he'd finish pooping before leaving and calling his friend back, or if he'd pinch a loaf and hurry to the men's room next door to complete his business.
Some things are just destined to remain a mystery. And I'm okay with that.
As I was winding up my affairs, I heard a phone ring nearby, and a man answered and started talking.
"Odd," I thought. "Is the door somehow propped open, and the guy is talking right outside? I hope nobody heard me pee!"
As I was washing my hands, I realized that the voice was coming from a stall behind me.
"Excuse me, but this is the women's bathroom."
"WHAT?! I'm in the WOMEN'S ROOM?! Oh, God...hold on, I'll call you right back!"
So, not only did he waltz into the women's bathroom without noticing the lack of urinals, he also answered the phone while taking a dump!
I didn't wait to see if he'd finish pooping before leaving and calling his friend back, or if he'd pinch a loaf and hurry to the men's room next door to complete his business.
Some things are just destined to remain a mystery. And I'm okay with that.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
You know you've written a good nursing progress note...
when the oncoming nurse doesn't have any questions. :D
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Excellent New (to me) Blog!
I spent way too much time reading Aesop's blog, Shepherd of the Gurneys, last night, when I should have been finishing up my final concept map of the semester.
ER nurse with attitude, snark, and most excellent writing skills? What could be better?
Wait! That description also fits SHRTSTORMTROOPER of (Kinda Still New) ER Nurse Insanity: The Traveling Years, who was kind enough to point me in Aesop's direction. Thanks, Lady!
Seriously, go read both. LawDog-worthy beverage alerts, don't say I didn't warn you!
ER nurse with attitude, snark, and most excellent writing skills? What could be better?
Wait! That description also fits SHRTSTORMTROOPER of (Kinda Still New) ER Nurse Insanity: The Traveling Years, who was kind enough to point me in Aesop's direction. Thanks, Lady!
Seriously, go read both. LawDog-worthy beverage alerts, don't say I didn't warn you!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Bastards
I wish Massachusetts had the death penalty. Just sayin'.
I'm okay. My family is okay. My friends are okay. Several of my classmates were volunteering at the Marathon, and at least one of them is not 100% okay. I haven't heard from everyone yet, so we'll see.
I'm pissed.
And that's all I've got.
I'm okay. My family is okay. My friends are okay. Several of my classmates were volunteering at the Marathon, and at least one of them is not 100% okay. I haven't heard from everyone yet, so we'll see.
I'm pissed.
And that's all I've got.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
The more you brag...
about how you were a sooper-seekrit "special sniper" for the USAF (!?!) after your four-year stint as a radar tech weenie, the less I'll believe you. Oh, and if you add that it was "off the books", that they offered you the gig because you were handy with guns, and that if you had me in your sights at 1700 yards, "[I'd] be gone", I'll believe you even less, if that's possible.
I'm just surprised that my ueber-mega-mondo eye-rolling didn't cause any tectonic plate shifting.
I'm just surprised that my ueber-mega-mondo eye-rolling didn't cause any tectonic plate shifting.
Harsh, but necessary.
Sometimes the punishment fits the crime.
My clinical partner showed up for clinical this week completely unprepared. As in, she waltzed in at 7:00 AM on the dot, having no clue who her patient was nor knowing anything about her. She seemed bewildered that the assignment sheet was no longer hanging on the board.
Aftermaking a plethora of excuses explaining her situation to our clinical instructor, she was promptly sent home for being unprepared.
Here's the deal. EVERYONE screws up at some point. Your car breaks down, you oversleep, you wake up puking, whatever. We're human, it's understandable. But here's where my partner fucked up: She refused to take responsibility. She made excuses and was offended and upset at being sent home. She simply didn't get it, and that's the biggest problem.
She said, "I could go get her vitals and then sit back here and get all the info in twenty minutes. We don't have to pass meds until 8:00 AM, so what's the big deal, anyway?!"
WRONG
I can't emphasize how wrong my partner's attitude is. She was setting herself up for failure and risking the health of her assigned patient. And she just didn't get that.
She's extremely lucky that she didn't get thrown out of the nursing program. As it stands, she has to make up the 12-hour shift AND prepare a case study which she then has to present to the entire class...the 21st century version of the dunce cap, I suppose.
My biggest fear is that she won't learn from this experience.
Well, we have three more semesters to go after this one, room to grow for all of us.
I hope...
My clinical partner showed up for clinical this week completely unprepared. As in, she waltzed in at 7:00 AM on the dot, having no clue who her patient was nor knowing anything about her. She seemed bewildered that the assignment sheet was no longer hanging on the board.
After
Here's the deal. EVERYONE screws up at some point. Your car breaks down, you oversleep, you wake up puking, whatever. We're human, it's understandable. But here's where my partner fucked up: She refused to take responsibility. She made excuses and was offended and upset at being sent home. She simply didn't get it, and that's the biggest problem.
She said, "I could go get her vitals and then sit back here and get all the info in twenty minutes. We don't have to pass meds until 8:00 AM, so what's the big deal, anyway?!"
WRONG
I can't emphasize how wrong my partner's attitude is. She was setting herself up for failure and risking the health of her assigned patient. And she just didn't get that.
She's extremely lucky that she didn't get thrown out of the nursing program. As it stands, she has to make up the 12-hour shift AND prepare a case study which she then has to present to the entire class...the 21st century version of the dunce cap, I suppose.
My biggest fear is that she won't learn from this experience.
Well, we have three more semesters to go after this one, room to grow for all of us.
I hope...
Friday, April 12, 2013
Seriously?
I just received an invite to my university's "Latino Graduation Ceremony".
First of all, why me? Did this invite go out to every student, or is my one-quarter Portuguese DNA somehow on record somewhere? (And since when does Portuguese heritage have anything to do with Latin America, unless you're from Brazil, which makes you BRAZILIAN, not Portuguese, but I digress...)
Second and most importantly, why is this even necessary? What happened to just plain "Graduation"? I think having a diverse student body is awesome, but in my opinion ceremonies like this one change "diversity" into "divisiveness".
First of all, why me? Did this invite go out to every student, or is my one-quarter Portuguese DNA somehow on record somewhere? (And since when does Portuguese heritage have anything to do with Latin America, unless you're from Brazil, which makes you BRAZILIAN, not Portuguese, but I digress...)
Second and most importantly, why is this even necessary? What happened to just plain "Graduation"? I think having a diverse student body is awesome, but in my opinion ceremonies like this one change "diversity" into "divisiveness".
Monday, April 08, 2013
Repeat after me:
lie, lay, lain
lay, laid, laid
Two completely different verbs that may NOT be used interchangeably.
I should've been an editor. My (not-always-so) inner grammar Nazi would then at least occasionally be appeased.
*sigh*
lay, laid, laid
Two completely different verbs that may NOT be used interchangeably.
I should've been an editor. My (not-always-so) inner grammar Nazi would then at least occasionally be appeased.
*sigh*
Sunday, March 31, 2013
I finally opened a twitter account. I resisted for SO LONG, but it's futile. I'm @LucrativePain (imagine that!)
I guess I'll see what all the fuss is about. My daughter is happy, anyway.
I guess I'll see what all the fuss is about. My daughter is happy, anyway.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Hopeless
One of my colleagues, a mid-twenties female, has no clue who Joseph Stalin was. I weep for humanity.
Friday, March 29, 2013
If you walk into the spa...
REEKING of pot, and you're obviously still higher than a kite, you're not getting a massage.
Awkward...
...that moment when your patient's spouse asks if you're "a good Catholic girl."
Well, I was baptized Episcopalian...that's pretty close, isn't it?
Well, I was baptized Episcopalian...that's pretty close, isn't it?
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
*blink blink*
The scene: extremely packed elevator, filled with nursing students.
Foreign Student Sally: Oh, Steven...look: you're the ONLY MAN on this elevator!
Obviously Gay Steven (with an eye roll in his voice [yes, we could hear it]): I think you're all safe.
F.S.S.: You never know...WE MIGHT GET HUNGRY!!!
O.G.S.: Oh, look! We've arrived! (hurriedly escapes the elevator, with most of us stampeding after him.)
WHAT DID SHE EVEN MEAN?!?!?!
Or do I really even want to know...?
Foreign Student Sally: Oh, Steven...look: you're the ONLY MAN on this elevator!
Obviously Gay Steven (with an eye roll in his voice [yes, we could hear it]): I think you're all safe.
F.S.S.: You never know...WE MIGHT GET HUNGRY!!!
O.G.S.: Oh, look! We've arrived! (hurriedly escapes the elevator, with most of us stampeding after him.)
WHAT DID SHE EVEN MEAN?!?!?!
Or do I really even want to know...?
Monday, March 25, 2013
Why can't we be more like Europe?
Isn't that what liberals say here? That Europe is SO tolerant of alternative life-styles, while the U.S. is so damn conservative and just plain mean.
Yeah, not so much.
When was the last time police had to use tear gas and a brisk hickory shampoo to disperse hundreds of thousands of anti-gay marriage protestors in the United States? I can't recall a similar event here, but please correct me if I'm wrong.
I guess for some the grass is always greener.
Yeah, not so much.
When was the last time police had to use tear gas and a brisk hickory shampoo to disperse hundreds of thousands of anti-gay marriage protestors in the United States? I can't recall a similar event here, but please correct me if I'm wrong.
I guess for some the grass is always greener.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
The question is...
wtf has Herr Rickens been smoking?!
Let's play a drinking game: down a shot every time you come across the word "fairness" in the article. I guarantee you'll be on the floor before you've finished reading.
Let's play a drinking game: down a shot every time you come across the word "fairness" in the article. I guarantee you'll be on the floor before you've finished reading.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Surreal...
...walking through the grocery store with Major Caudill.
He's famous on the internet, don't you know?
He's famous on the internet, don't you know?
Sunday, March 17, 2013
AFK for a day or so...
heading up north to visit some friends! I don't want to schlep the laptop with me, so blogging will be nonexistent. (Not like I've been blogging all that frequently anyway...y'all prolly wouldn't even have noticed my absence! LOL...)
Have fun but don't trash the joint. I like everything in its place.
Later, Gators!
Have fun but don't trash the joint. I like everything in its place.
Later, Gators!
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Do you need something to read?
I did...until I saw that Marko had published his novel!
Go to Amazon and get Terms of Enlistment RIGHT NOW. Because it's awesome, and because I told you to. ;)
Go to Amazon and get Terms of Enlistment RIGHT NOW. Because it's awesome, and because I told you to. ;)
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Clinical snippets...
Me (responding to patient after he directed a spate of rapid-fire Greek at me): I'm sorry, I didn't understand you.
Patient: What use are you to me if you can't speak English?! Don't you have to speak English to work here?!
Me (blinking in confusion): Sir, of course I can speak English...we're speaking English NOW.
Patient: BAH!
Maybe I shouldn't have said "Kali mera!" when I walked into the room...
...
When my partner and I got on the elevator to go have lunch, it was packed, but by the time we got to the cafeteria level, there was only the two of us...and a group of six red-and-black-clad nursing students from our "rival" school. No greetings were exchanged and tension was in the air as we glared at each other, sizing our opponents up. I was prepared for the rhythmic finger-snapping and stylized fighting to commence, but the elevator dinged and the door opened. Saved by lunch! (And I can't make up my mind whether I want to be a Shark or a Jet, anyway...)
...
I had my finger in someone's butt, and not in a fun way.
...
Being my patients' advocate and getting results is AWESOME.
...
If I get home after well more than 12 hours on my feet, and the only thing that appeals to me for dinner is a big bowl of popcorn, then by golly, I'm gonna have popcorn for dinner! And that's okay.
Patient: What use are you to me if you can't speak English?! Don't you have to speak English to work here?!
Me (blinking in confusion): Sir, of course I can speak English...we're speaking English NOW.
Patient: BAH!
Maybe I shouldn't have said "Kali mera!" when I walked into the room...
...
When my partner and I got on the elevator to go have lunch, it was packed, but by the time we got to the cafeteria level, there was only the two of us...and a group of six red-and-black-clad nursing students from our "rival" school. No greetings were exchanged and tension was in the air as we glared at each other, sizing our opponents up. I was prepared for the rhythmic finger-snapping and stylized fighting to commence, but the elevator dinged and the door opened. Saved by lunch! (And I can't make up my mind whether I want to be a Shark or a Jet, anyway...)
...
I had my finger in someone's butt, and not in a fun way.
...
Being my patients' advocate and getting results is AWESOME.
...
If I get home after well more than 12 hours on my feet, and the only thing that appeals to me for dinner is a big bowl of popcorn, then by golly, I'm gonna have popcorn for dinner! And that's okay.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
What gorgeous weather today...
I unfortunately got caught up in this mess, so was horrendously late for a 3PM appointment (like, forty minutes late), but as I walked across the Charles River with the sun in my face, a gentle breeze flirting with my hair, I couldn't stress about my tardiness at all...at least I wasn't the poor schlub who got run over by the train!
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Every house...
should have emergency, back-up ketchup.
Because you never know when there'll be a ketchup crisis!
Because you never know when there'll be a ketchup crisis!
Saturday, March 09, 2013
Dear Professor-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless...
ONE diagnosis, TWO OR MORE diagnoses. There is no such word as "diagnosises".
It's a treatment or drug REGIMEN, not REGIME.
And please stop adding r's at the end of words that don't have them. I forgive you the r's that you drop in the middle of words, you're from Boston and can't help it.
My OCD thanks you.
It's a treatment or drug REGIMEN, not REGIME.
And please stop adding r's at the end of words that don't have them. I forgive you the r's that you drop in the middle of words, you're from Boston and can't help it.
My OCD thanks you.
Friday, March 08, 2013
Gee THANKS, Boston PD!
I received an email from my university, which passed on a "Spring Break Safety Message and CRIME ALERT" from the Boston Police Department.
After the obligatory, "If you're leaving for spring break, make sure to lock all your doors and windows and ask a neighbor to keep an eye on your house..." stuff, they went on to mention that there have been some muggings around various T stops, especially in the east side of town. Then came this gem:
As you walk around Boston anytime, please always be aware of your surroundings and should you be approached comply with the perpetrators request. Your life is always more valuable than your property.
They also go on to say that should you be a victim of a crime, to report the incidence immediately to the nearest police station. They don't add the qualifier "should you be ALIVE after the attack". But they should.
Well, you know what BPD? With all due respect:
FUCK YOU.
Take your asinine advice-for-sheep and shove it where the sun don't shine...assuming your head leaves enough room.
After the obligatory, "If you're leaving for spring break, make sure to lock all your doors and windows and ask a neighbor to keep an eye on your house..." stuff, they went on to mention that there have been some muggings around various T stops, especially in the east side of town. Then came this gem:
As you walk around Boston anytime, please always be aware of your surroundings and should you be approached comply with the perpetrators request. Your life is always more valuable than your property.
They also go on to say that should you be a victim of a crime, to report the incidence immediately to the nearest police station. They don't add the qualifier "should you be ALIVE after the attack". But they should.
Well, you know what BPD? With all due respect:
FUCK YOU.
Take your asinine advice-for-sheep and shove it where the sun don't shine...assuming your head leaves enough room.
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
While leaving the chiropractor's...
I noticed something that would have been unthinkable in Las Vegas:
There were fifteen cars remaining on the lot, and every last one of them was either black, midnight blue, or dark gray.
Another subtle difference between East Coast and Western desert.
There were fifteen cars remaining on the lot, and every last one of them was either black, midnight blue, or dark gray.
Another subtle difference between East Coast and Western desert.
Tuesday, March 05, 2013
I would love nursing school so much more...
...if there weren't so many damned papers to write. I am absolutely loving my clinical experience, and lectures are interesting. I'm learning so much! I don't mind the exams, I see the necessity. If only I could go to lecture, take exams, and have clinical THREE TIMES A WEEK.
And never write another paper.
Then I'd be completely and absolutely happy.
*sigh*
And never write another paper.
Then I'd be completely and absolutely happy.
*sigh*
Friday, March 01, 2013
Overheard in a hospital room...
Patient (responding to his nurse): I refuse to answer that because you framed your query in the form of a statement.
Nurse: ...
Nurse: ...
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Mother Effer...
Oh. Em. GEEEEEE.
The display on my new alarm clock is so MOTHERFUCKING huge and bright, I felt like Frodo all night long.
I could see it with my eyes closed. Heh, it's like my own personal red-light district!
Kinda ironic, since I got rid of my previous alarm clock yesterday because it had the annoying habit of randomly buzzing right on the edge of audible range...
Sometimes you just can't win.
The display on my new alarm clock is so MOTHERFUCKING huge and bright, I felt like Frodo all night long.
I could see it with my eyes closed. Heh, it's like my own personal red-light district!
Kinda ironic, since I got rid of my previous alarm clock yesterday because it had the annoying habit of randomly buzzing right on the edge of audible range...
Sometimes you just can't win.
Monday, February 25, 2013
What's worse than a Monday 8 AM lecture?
Why, it's getting to school early to do a brutal workout, then discovering you forgot to bring a towel.
And having to use your disgusting, sweaty t-shirt to dry off with after your shower.
Won't make THAT mistake again!
And having to use your disgusting, sweaty t-shirt to dry off with after your shower.
Won't make THAT mistake again!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
OR Observations
I had the opportunity to observe in the OR today and it was AWESOME.
I had no problems watching the gory/gross stuff, in fact, I find it very fascinating. I do know after this experience that I have no desire to be an OR nurse. While watching the procedures is very cool, the job looks very boring.
Also, (some) doctors apparently don't give a shit about contact precautions.
It helps to have OCD when you work in the OR; the surgical techs ROCK it.
OR scrubs are really uncomfortable because they don't fit right.
Breathing through the mask takes some getting used to, and you can easily fog up your protective glasses.
As I was watching a particularly nasty wound debridement, I knew I'd do okay, because while the nurse was doing a sponge count and gobbets of necrotic tissue plopped onto the floor, all I was thinking was, "I hope nobody can hear my stomach growl...when can I go to lunch, dammit?!" (Though possibly it wasn't such a great idea to add teriyaki chicken tenders to my salad when I finally made it to the cafeteria, that did give me a brief "moment"...)
Another takeaway from this experience: I hope I never have a medical student stitch me up, though I guess they do need to practice. Just not on me.
I saw an albino squirrel on my way home. Random, I know.
I had no problems watching the gory/gross stuff, in fact, I find it very fascinating. I do know after this experience that I have no desire to be an OR nurse. While watching the procedures is very cool, the job looks very boring.
Also, (some) doctors apparently don't give a shit about contact precautions.
It helps to have OCD when you work in the OR; the surgical techs ROCK it.
OR scrubs are really uncomfortable because they don't fit right.
Breathing through the mask takes some getting used to, and you can easily fog up your protective glasses.
As I was watching a particularly nasty wound debridement, I knew I'd do okay, because while the nurse was doing a sponge count and gobbets of necrotic tissue plopped onto the floor, all I was thinking was, "I hope nobody can hear my stomach growl...when can I go to lunch, dammit?!" (Though possibly it wasn't such a great idea to add teriyaki chicken tenders to my salad when I finally made it to the cafeteria, that did give me a brief "moment"...)
Another takeaway from this experience: I hope I never have a medical student stitch me up, though I guess they do need to practice. Just not on me.
I saw an albino squirrel on my way home. Random, I know.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Arrested Development
Remember when you were 12 or 13 years old and you discovered you could spit remarkable distances between your two front teeth?
Fifteen years later IT'S NOT COOL ANYMORE. It's only disgusting. Really.
Fifteen years later IT'S NOT COOL ANYMORE. It's only disgusting. Really.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Fuck you
This is dedicated first to the lovely lady who rattled the handle of the bathroom door and kept tugging on it as I was *ahem* taking care of business, who exclaimed in disbelief "But it's LOCKED!!!" No shit, Sherlock. BECAUSE IT WAS OCCUPIED.
Second, this is dedicated to K., the douchenozzle pharmacy intern at the local CVS, and also to the chick in line behind me, both of whom mocked me for paying my $21.51 bill with exact change. What's the big deal? Does it make me weird to do that or something?
Finally, this is dedicated to the asshole who kept honking at me because I wasn't merging into highway traffic quickly enough for his tastes. I'm sorry, but I have no desire to become a semi's hood ornament.
FUCK YOU!
Friday, February 15, 2013
Blogfodder
ZOMG. I have SO MUCH juicy blogfodder!
And I can't share any of it with you.
Not only would I violate HIPAA, but if I give too much information, it would be easy to figure out which university I attend and which hospital I'm doing my clinical at.
It's so frustrating! I'd love to share, but I have to keep my mouth zipped and my fingers away from the keyboard.
Trust me, though, if anything remotely interesting happens, the sharing of which neither violates HIPAA nor compromises my semi-anonymity, you'll be the first to hear about it!
And I can't share any of it with you.
Not only would I violate HIPAA, but if I give too much information, it would be easy to figure out which university I attend and which hospital I'm doing my clinical at.
It's so frustrating! I'd love to share, but I have to keep my mouth zipped and my fingers away from the keyboard.
Trust me, though, if anything remotely interesting happens, the sharing of which neither violates HIPAA nor compromises my semi-anonymity, you'll be the first to hear about it!
Friday, February 08, 2013
Watching the snow fall...
and feeling supremely blessed and grateful that I'm safe inside. It's warm, I have plenty (too much!) food and the company is the best.
Oh, and I got an email earlier that I'm not expected at work tonight, and most likely not tomorrow, either.
There are far worse ways to ride out Snowpocalypse 2013!
Oh, and I got an email earlier that I'm not expected at work tonight, and most likely not tomorrow, either.
There are far worse ways to ride out Snowpocalypse 2013!
Monday, February 04, 2013
Word Verification
I know it's annoying, but I had to turn the word verification on again. Far too many spam comments littering my inbox, taking up too much of my time.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Speed Limit
In Massachusetts, the speed limit is however fast the traffic permits you to drive. Just FYI.
Phear Meh
After an exam today, I'm now deemed competent to pass oral meds, perform both subcutaneous and intramuscular injections, and give IV fluids...muahahahahahaha!
*rubs hands together gleefully*
*rubs hands together gleefully*
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
I got nothing.
I had two posts in draft form, and I just deleted them.
Lemme just give you a quicky update, okay?
My girls are all back in school in FREEZING North Dakota (poor things!), and I miss them terribly.
I started school yesterday, and while my professor is extremely well-versed in her field, a weekly three hour block of watching her wave her hands about while making the "A-OK" sign, flipping her bangs back with a toss of her head, and listening to her pepper her lecture with "Correct?" and "Okay!" is going to drive me INSANE.
I had the flu. Now I have viral pneumonia (according to Mrs. Sci-Fi, and she knows her shit). I'm getting a little better every day and yesterday I started exercising again, walking VERY SLOWLY on the treadmill. I cannot exert myself at all, but I figure after lying in bed for a week, something is better than nothing!
I've had no caffeine in a couple weeks. I had no idea I could sleep so deeply! I'm fatigued right now, but I'm chalking it up to the pneumonia. I hope I can keep the ban in place, caffeine just affects me far too much.
I've lost 8 pounds since the beginning of the month, three pounds of which I can also chalk up to the effects of the flu/pneumonia, since my appetite for the past few days has been zilch. I cut out all baked goods and it seems to be working pretty well for me. It enables me to stick to my max calorie limit, which is so necessary yet so difficult. Dieting sucks.
I hate driving in the snow. And I hate other drivers in the snow even more.
While doing the readings in preparation for my first pharmacology class (an HOUR from now, ZOMFG), I discovered that we have no clue how many anesthetics work, only that they do. Scary, isn't it?!
And that's all for now, just wanted to let y'all know that I'm still alive, albeit barely kicking. ;)
Lemme just give you a quicky update, okay?
My girls are all back in school in FREEZING North Dakota (poor things!), and I miss them terribly.
I started school yesterday, and while my professor is extremely well-versed in her field, a weekly three hour block of watching her wave her hands about while making the "A-OK" sign, flipping her bangs back with a toss of her head, and listening to her pepper her lecture with "Correct?" and "Okay!" is going to drive me INSANE.
I had the flu. Now I have viral pneumonia (according to Mrs. Sci-Fi, and she knows her shit). I'm getting a little better every day and yesterday I started exercising again, walking VERY SLOWLY on the treadmill. I cannot exert myself at all, but I figure after lying in bed for a week, something is better than nothing!
I've had no caffeine in a couple weeks. I had no idea I could sleep so deeply! I'm fatigued right now, but I'm chalking it up to the pneumonia. I hope I can keep the ban in place, caffeine just affects me far too much.
I've lost 8 pounds since the beginning of the month, three pounds of which I can also chalk up to the effects of the flu/pneumonia, since my appetite for the past few days has been zilch. I cut out all baked goods and it seems to be working pretty well for me. It enables me to stick to my max calorie limit, which is so necessary yet so difficult. Dieting sucks.
I hate driving in the snow. And I hate other drivers in the snow even more.
While doing the readings in preparation for my first pharmacology class (an HOUR from now, ZOMFG), I discovered that we have no clue how many anesthetics work, only that they do. Scary, isn't it?!
And that's all for now, just wanted to let y'all know that I'm still alive, albeit barely kicking. ;)
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Hmmm...
...that uncomfortable moment when you're trying to decide if your client is merely socially awkward (thus explaining is inability to maintain eye contact), OR he rilly, rilly wants to stare at your boobs.
Sunday, January 06, 2013
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Merry Christmas!
I hope all of y'all out there in Cyberland have a very Merry Christmas, assuming you celebrate Christmas.
Also, I hope that 2013 brings only good things to your lives and that you're happier at the end of the year than you were when it started. I'm glad to have you in my life, even be it merely (?) through this blog.
On my end I have my girls here, I'm celebrating with dear friends, and the semester is over and I got straight A's. Life is good and I have no complaints. I'm very blessed and I'm determined to stop fretting over my first world problems. My resolution for 2013 is to volunteer somewhere. I need to get off my ass and do more for others.
How about y'all? Any resolutions for 2013? Share!
Also, I hope that 2013 brings only good things to your lives and that you're happier at the end of the year than you were when it started. I'm glad to have you in my life, even be it merely (?) through this blog.
On my end I have my girls here, I'm celebrating with dear friends, and the semester is over and I got straight A's. Life is good and I have no complaints. I'm very blessed and I'm determined to stop fretting over my first world problems. My resolution for 2013 is to volunteer somewhere. I need to get off my ass and do more for others.
How about y'all? Any resolutions for 2013? Share!
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
So. Happy.
My girls are here for winter break! Silver the Evil Chao (or SystemsReady...take your pick), TallyAngel, and Chaos arrived last night. I needed to squish them so tightly when I picked them up from the airport, I think their innards almost dribbled out their ears. So worth it, though.
Today they accompanied me to NBU for my Health Assessment final, then we and a bunch of my classmates got together at a nearby tavern to cry into our respective beers.
Galactorrhea? Seriously? WTF, Professor?!
Tomorrow morning it's The Hobbit, w00t! And tomorrow evening decorating the tree.
It's so good to have my babies here. I'm truly blessed.
Today they accompanied me to NBU for my Health Assessment final, then we and a bunch of my classmates got together at a nearby tavern to cry into our respective beers.
Galactorrhea? Seriously? WTF, Professor?!
Tomorrow morning it's The Hobbit, w00t! And tomorrow evening decorating the tree.
It's so good to have my babies here. I'm truly blessed.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Bottom Line
Evil people do evil things. The tools they use are irrelevant, or should be. End of story.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Doofus of the Day*
There was a bit of a kerfluffle at work this evening. Seems one of our customers accidentally cut off another lady while turning into the shopping plaza in which the spa is located. The aggravated motorist proceeded to follow our customer to where she parked, blocked her in with her own vehicle, and when our customer got out of her car, walked over to her and bitchslapped her to the ground.
Then got back into her own car and calmly drove away.
The victim had enough presence of mind to note the license plate of the perp's car and called the police immediately. She sought shelter in the reception area of the spa, and needless to say, did NOT get her scheduled massage.
The amazing thing about all this is that the police located the perp's car parked in another area of the plaza and waited for her there until she finished her shopping. When confronted by the cops, she coolly admitted to the deed.
This woman baffles me, not just because of the road rage and assault/battery, but for either being unaware of or unconcerned by the consequences of her actions.
I don't think she's going have a very merry Christmas. Doofus indeed.
*shamelessly stolen from Peter! :D
Then got back into her own car and calmly drove away.
The victim had enough presence of mind to note the license plate of the perp's car and called the police immediately. She sought shelter in the reception area of the spa, and needless to say, did NOT get her scheduled massage.
The amazing thing about all this is that the police located the perp's car parked in another area of the plaza and waited for her there until she finished her shopping. When confronted by the cops, she coolly admitted to the deed.
This woman baffles me, not just because of the road rage and assault/battery, but for either being unaware of or unconcerned by the consequences of her actions.
I don't think she's going have a very merry Christmas. Doofus indeed.
*shamelessly stolen from Peter! :D
Saturday, December 08, 2012
It's not ALL about the Benjamins...
but it sure is nice to get one now and then.
I had a regular client today who's matter-of-fact about massage. When I ask her how it was, she always replies, "Okay." Not effusive at all, in other words.
It was an fifty-minute prenatal massage, and as she left, she handed me a sealed tip envelope. After escorting her to the front desk and flipping my room, I headed back to the breakroom to get my purse so I could go have lunch. I remembered the tip envelope I had stuffed into my pocket and decided now would be a perfect time to transfer the cash to my wallet. I unfolded the envelope and saw this written on the back:
"How nice of her," I thought. When I tore the envelope open and started pulling out the bill, I noticed the '1' first and thought, "Ten bucks for an hour, not bad." Then I saw the TWO zeroes...
"HOLY SHIT! SHE TIPPED ME A HUNDRED!"
Everyone in the breakroom crowded around me to marvel at my client's generosity. Ben Franklin was never so fawned over in real life!
All I can say is my client's getting a big hug from me the next time I see her. What a classy lady.
I had a regular client today who's matter-of-fact about massage. When I ask her how it was, she always replies, "Okay." Not effusive at all, in other words.
It was an fifty-minute prenatal massage, and as she left, she handed me a sealed tip envelope. After escorting her to the front desk and flipping my room, I headed back to the breakroom to get my purse so I could go have lunch. I remembered the tip envelope I had stuffed into my pocket and decided now would be a perfect time to transfer the cash to my wallet. I unfolded the envelope and saw this written on the back:
"HOLY SHIT! SHE TIPPED ME A HUNDRED!"
Everyone in the breakroom crowded around me to marvel at my client's generosity. Ben Franklin was never so fawned over in real life!
All I can say is my client's getting a big hug from me the next time I see her. What a classy lady.
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Some truths are NOT self-evident...
When I see a bucket of caramels advertised as "Three for 99c!!ZOMFG!", I assume that each individual caramel costs slightly more than a third of that price. I mean, it makes sense, right? Otherwise the sign would read, "Caramels, 33c each!!" Pretty self-evident, or so I thought....
As I'm constantly fighting the good fight in the Battle of the Bulge, I decided to buy ONE caramel to somewhat satisfy my voracious sweet tooth (that fucking bastard, I HATE it, grrr...), so I asked how much one caramel cost, only to have the cashier reply, slowly, carefully enunciating each syllable, while looking at me like I should be sitting in the corner of the room wearing a dunce cap while picking my nose and eating the boogers, "Thirty-three cents." (The "...you booger-eating moron!" was implied. Or maybe that's just my imagination.)
At any rate, I feel disappointed right now. Not only was I made to feel like an idiot, I ate the caramel (DELICIOUS) on the way home and only then looked up the nutrition info. SIXTY CALORIES FOR ONE CARAMEL?!
Not worth it.
As I'm constantly fighting the good fight in the Battle of the Bulge, I decided to buy ONE caramel to somewhat satisfy my voracious sweet tooth (that fucking bastard, I HATE it, grrr...), so I asked how much one caramel cost, only to have the cashier reply, slowly, carefully enunciating each syllable, while looking at me like I should be sitting in the corner of the room wearing a dunce cap while picking my nose and eating the boogers, "Thirty-three cents." (The "...you booger-eating moron!" was implied. Or maybe that's just my imagination.)
At any rate, I feel disappointed right now. Not only was I made to feel like an idiot, I ate the caramel (DELICIOUS) on the way home and only then looked up the nutrition info. SIXTY CALORIES FOR ONE CARAMEL?!
Not worth it.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm very thankful for my family and friends, and for living in our great country. I'm also thankful for being able to attend college and become a nurse, even if I'm tearing my hair out because of end-of-semester stress.
I'm also very thankful for all of you who read my blog, despite the fact that my posts are now few and far between.
Have a very good day!
I'm also very thankful for all of you who read my blog, despite the fact that my posts are now few and far between.
Have a very good day!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Dear Catholic Church Hospital Volunteers...
I'm sure the Catholic patients at the hospital appreciate the offer of receiving Holy Communion, and I'm sure you're nice folks, what with volunteering your time and all, but for the LOVE OF GOD, please respect the privacy drape when it's drawn across the room.
Sticking your head AROUND the curtain and asking brightly, "Is now a bad time?" is likely to get said head bitten off, if not by my naked patient, by ME.
Thank you.
Sticking your head AROUND the curtain and asking brightly, "Is now a bad time?" is likely to get said head bitten off, if not by my naked patient, by ME.
Thank you.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Sorry...
I'm in almost-end-of-semester HELL and I really haven't felt motivated to blog at all. Plus, nothing really interesting has happened here, unless you want yet another rant on New England drivers, traffic in Boston, ultra-liberal campus bullshit, total burn-out/fatigue, or stingy massage clients.
*YAWN*
Inorite?!
Anyway, I hope everyone out there in cyberland is doing well, and I wish all a truly wonderful Thanksgiving.
*YAWN*
Inorite?!
Anyway, I hope everyone out there in cyberland is doing well, and I wish all a truly wonderful Thanksgiving.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Because quality snark is in short supply...
Summer of '06 I was lonely. I was working full-time, going to massage school four nights a week and on Saturdays, I never saw my kids, and I had ZERO social life.
I used to lurk on Baen's Bar, just to feel like I was having some kind of interaction with other (mostly) like-minded folks. One day, somebody posted something to the effect of, "Women who like guns! You guys HAVE to check out these blogs!" And linked to Adventures of Mauser*girl and View from the Porch.
At this point, I didn't even have a clue what a blog was. I literally had to google it! Then I clicked over and started reading....and reading...and reading...and eventually commenting...and clicking further to other folks' blogs...and reading...well, you get the picture! A few months later, I started my own blog and the rest is history. Along the way, I've virtually and in meat-space met the people I truly consider my family. Blogging has quite literally changed my life.
And without those initial visits to Tam's and Chris' blogs, it never would have happened.
For me, Tam is an unending fount of wisdom, humor, news, and especially SNARK. I've had the honor and pleasure of meeting her in "real life" and spending time with her, and she is a very special lady.
Unless you've been living under a rock (or don't know what a blog is, in which case, how did you find ME?), you must know that Tam was just diagnosed with basal cell carcinoma. Unfortunately, she has no health insurance (been there, NOT fun) and is looking at potentially a mountain of medical bills to get this resolved.
So, please, if you have even a few bucks to spare, head over to her blog and donate (the button is on the sidebar). Not only will you be helping out a truly wonderful person, but you'll be entered into a raffle to win some pretty awesome prizes. Many other bloggers are on top of this, so go visit them to get more info on the raffle(s)!
Thank you! Let's keep the snark coming!
Update: JayG from MArooned had the latest and greatest on the raffles, go forth and donate!
I used to lurk on Baen's Bar, just to feel like I was having some kind of interaction with other (mostly) like-minded folks. One day, somebody posted something to the effect of, "Women who like guns! You guys HAVE to check out these blogs!" And linked to Adventures of Mauser*girl and View from the Porch.
At this point, I didn't even have a clue what a blog was. I literally had to google it! Then I clicked over and started reading....and reading...and reading...and eventually commenting...and clicking further to other folks' blogs...and reading...well, you get the picture! A few months later, I started my own blog and the rest is history. Along the way, I've virtually and in meat-space met the people I truly consider my family. Blogging has quite literally changed my life.
And without those initial visits to Tam's and Chris' blogs, it never would have happened.
For me, Tam is an unending fount of wisdom, humor, news, and especially SNARK. I've had the honor and pleasure of meeting her in "real life" and spending time with her, and she is a very special lady.
Unless you've been living under a rock (or don't know what a blog is, in which case, how did you find ME?), you must know that Tam was just diagnosed with basal cell carcinoma. Unfortunately, she has no health insurance (been there, NOT fun) and is looking at potentially a mountain of medical bills to get this resolved.
So, please, if you have even a few bucks to spare, head over to her blog and donate (the button is on the sidebar). Not only will you be helping out a truly wonderful person, but you'll be entered into a raffle to win some pretty awesome prizes. Many other bloggers are on top of this, so go visit them to get more info on the raffle(s)!
Thank you! Let's keep the snark coming!
Update: JayG from MArooned had the latest and greatest on the raffles, go forth and donate!
Thank you.
To all who've served in our military, THANK YOU.
You will never be forgotten, at least not by me.
Happy Veterans' Day.
You will never be forgotten, at least not by me.
Happy Veterans' Day.
Friday, November 09, 2012
Surreal Moment
I headed to the university library early yesterday to study for an exam. I made my way to a more lounge-like space that I hadn't visited before. Imagine my shock and pleasure when I found my favorite poem EVAR painted on the wall:
Hälfte des Lebens
Mit gelben Birnen hänget
Und voll mit wilden Rosen
Das Land in den See,
Ihr holden Schwäne,
Und trunken von Küssen
Tunkt ihr das Haupt
Ins heilignüchterne Wasser.
Weh mir, wo nehm’ ich, wenn
Es Winter ist, die Blumen, und wo
Den Sonnenschein,
Und Schatten der Erde?
Die Mauern stehn
Sprachlos und kalt, im Winde
Klirren die Fahnen.
It's a poem by Friedrich Hoelderlin from the early 19th century. I adore this poem and have since I was a kid. I memorized it in 8th grade, just because, and I can still recite it at will. Translating it doesn't really do it justice, but to me, it's about the changing of the seasons, the coming of winter, and the melancholy you (might) feel as you age, looking back at your fleeting youth. Yeah, so I was emo before that was even a word, so what? ;) And the language is just BEAUTIFUL. I get goosebumps when I read it.
Anyway, it was a very bright moment in a day filled with nasty, cold weather, exams, lab, bad news about financial aid, riding on jam-packed public transportation, and exhaustion barely held at bay by copious amounts of caffeine.
I know now where I'll be doing all of my studying in the future.
Hälfte des Lebens
Mit gelben Birnen hänget
Und voll mit wilden Rosen
Das Land in den See,
Ihr holden Schwäne,
Und trunken von Küssen
Tunkt ihr das Haupt
Ins heilignüchterne Wasser.
Weh mir, wo nehm’ ich, wenn
Es Winter ist, die Blumen, und wo
Den Sonnenschein,
Und Schatten der Erde?
Die Mauern stehn
Sprachlos und kalt, im Winde
Klirren die Fahnen.
It's a poem by Friedrich Hoelderlin from the early 19th century. I adore this poem and have since I was a kid. I memorized it in 8th grade, just because, and I can still recite it at will. Translating it doesn't really do it justice, but to me, it's about the changing of the seasons, the coming of winter, and the melancholy you (might) feel as you age, looking back at your fleeting youth. Yeah, so I was emo before that was even a word, so what? ;) And the language is just BEAUTIFUL. I get goosebumps when I read it.
Anyway, it was a very bright moment in a day filled with nasty, cold weather, exams, lab, bad news about financial aid, riding on jam-packed public transportation, and exhaustion barely held at bay by copious amounts of caffeine.
I know now where I'll be doing all of my studying in the future.
Friday, November 02, 2012
"I'd like it without blistering, pain, and scarring..."
I was just hitting the drive-thru at Dunk's* a few minutes ago, and the nice gal obviously misspoke when she asked me, "How hot do you want that coffee?"
*blink blink*
I replied, "Not hot enough to give me third-degree burns, please!"
She could barely stop laughing long enough to tell me the total.
*d'you see how I'm going all local and shit? Calling it "Dunk's" instead of "Dunkin Donuts"...next thing you know, I'll be pahking my cah and calling everyone retahded.
*blink blink*
I replied, "Not hot enough to give me third-degree burns, please!"
She could barely stop laughing long enough to tell me the total.
*d'you see how I'm going all local and shit? Calling it "Dunk's" instead of "Dunkin Donuts"...next thing you know, I'll be pahking my cah and calling everyone retahded.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
YAY!
I just got an email from the College of Nursing that I was awarded an FPS*! I have an awards luncheon to go to and everything...yippee! The money I'll receive won't hurt, either. :)
*FPS: Fairly Prestigious Scholarship
*FPS: Fairly Prestigious Scholarship
Monday, October 29, 2012
The hatches have been battened down.
All other preparations have been made. We're chilling here, waiting the storm (or should that be STORM?) out. School was canceled today so I'm seeing if I can get a massage in...wish me luck, 'cause I NEED a massage!
UPDATE:
The Massage Nazi says: NO MASSAGE FOR YOU!
But there are worse ways to spend your day off than futzing around on the internet, doing chores, and listening to a seven-year-old absentmindedly sing Katy Perry's "Firework". :)
UPDATE:
The Massage Nazi says: NO MASSAGE FOR YOU!
But there are worse ways to spend your day off than futzing around on the internet, doing chores, and listening to a seven-year-old absentmindedly sing Katy Perry's "Firework". :)
Friday, October 26, 2012
When there are skunks casing the joint...
...it behooves one NOT to leave one's car's windows rolled down overnight. Not even partially. Every time I open the car door, I get a whiff of Pepe Le Pew. Nasty.
Text of the day.
"OMG. If you have a PhD, you should know how to spell "opioid" correctly. FML OCD."
Yes, I sent that to Mrs. SCI-FI in the middle of class. It was the only way I could corral my twitching.
Yes, I sent that to Mrs. SCI-FI in the middle of class. It was the only way I could corral my twitching.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
Slightly creepy.
I just massaged a new client. A young woman with beautifully manicured hands, nails painted black (for Halloween?). Strangely, while prone she had all her fingers partially curled toward her palms, like she was cupping something. I've never seen a client do that. That's not the creepy part, though. Periodically (and completely randomly) she'd clench both hands into fists, causing ALL OF HER KNUCKLES TO CRACK SIMULTANEOUSLY.
Creepy. Really, really creepy. Why? Because it sounded like someone was doing the flamenco on a carpet of cockroaches. That's why.
Creepy. Really, really creepy. Why? Because it sounded like someone was doing the flamenco on a carpet of cockroaches. That's why.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Bitter-sweet
Coming home from Blogorado is always a little sad. Since we are among the last to leave, this sadness begins as friends start to head home. The numbers dwindle until finally it's our turn. And today it was back to the grind.
*sigh*
That being said, WE HAD A BLAST. As always. :)
It's so wonderful to spend time with all our friends, especially the ones we only see once or twice a year. The food is spectacular, the conversation by turns contemplative and raucous. Not to mention hilarious. Also, watching Kelly get waxed (don't worry, I rapidly decamped when the depilation progressed to South of the border, *ahem*) was memorable. (Yeah, wouldn't exactly call it "enjoyable". Heh.)
Jennifer and Michael were costumed to honor promises made for Kilted to Kick Cancer. May I just say that BOTH of them were feasts for the eyes. In a totally objective, platonic way. No, really.
The Nerds are always a delight, and Stingray certainly put his money were his mouth was, anteing up for KtkC, himself. LabRat had fun with fragrances, matching ladies (and gents?) with the best possible/most appealing scent. Yum.
Aepilotjim....hmmmm. Let's just say that he really rocked his footie pajamas. :D Sorry about your chair, we'll either get it fixed or replaced, at the very least before next year! And I think you need to remember your blankie. And get a teddy or a binky. Or BOTH.
Salamander, you need to hang around for more than a day, we hardly knew ye!
Spear, we were like ships passing in the night, wish we could have hung out more! Your gunsmith buddy, Jason (J.? Jay?), was a hoot. Does he blog?
The Texas contingent was out in force, too. Holly and Johnny, Phlegm Fatale and Lawdog, and the gentle gaint, Matt G. (All of them former "neighbors", I MISS THEM. Once a year isn't enough, y'all need to come out East to Beantown, you hear me?!)
Jay G. and Kelly shaved off their face-fur; it was somewhat traumatic, I believe. Speaking of Jay G., it was an invasion of the Massholes this year! I'm a Masshole now (shocking, no?), the SCI-FIs were of course there (with delicious lobstah in tow), and Weer'd and Mrs. Weer'd were part of the crew as well. Mrs. Weer'd, Phlegmmy, and I had an enjoyable hour browsing through a local antique store. I found a 1946 copy of Redbook I'm determined to send to my daughters...to show them the proper way to treat their (future) husbands...*snerk*. It's more likely to make their heads explode. Hey, just doing my job as a mom!
GayCynic was an awesome traveling buddy, and he brought the SCHWAG (from SAF.) Yes, I'm courting beaucoup vandalism because I WILL plaster the Blue Zephyr's bumpers with epic stickers supporting the 2nd Amendment.
I got to meet NEW friends, too! (Or at least, meet them in meatspace, the intarwebz being such a fantastic connector of people.) Peter, Wing, it was truly a pleasure to finally meet you. Hope we can get together again soon!
Crap. I KNOW I'm forgetting some folks. Please don't hate me if I left you out! I'm still processing the weekend, plus I dove right back into class today. Ugh.
Shooty goodness was indisputably had. This time I had my own guns with me, and I used up all the ammo for my CZ82 in a few hours. I'll know to bring MUCH more next year! I was a bit under the weather on Sunday, our range day (Saturday being rained/frozen out), so I didn't get to try out all the other boomsticks available (though Tam shared one of hers with me, squee!). (BTW, "under the weather" is likely a euphemism for "ZOMG, I think I ate too many lumpia/too much birthday cake/drank too much St. Brendan's [aka 'low-rent Bailey's']/had WAY too much caffeine!") I also tried to bag some prairievermin dogs, but the only one I had in my sights scampered to safety, curse the nasty beast!
The undisputed STAR of the weekend was only 10 weeks old. Butcher, the WonderPup! I'm positive I'm not the only Blogoradan who almost succumbed to the temptation of smuggling the sweetheart home. What a cutie!
Old NFO was greatly missed (though we did call him during the Ambulance Driver Waxing Adventures). I hope he can make it next time!
But of course, none of the fabulousness that is Blogorado would be possible without the FarmFamily.
Thanks to Farmmom, FarmDad, and Farmgirl, those most congenial hosts. If home is where the heart is, then part of me considers Blogoradoville home.
I'm honored to be your friend.
*sigh*
That being said, WE HAD A BLAST. As always. :)
It's so wonderful to spend time with all our friends, especially the ones we only see once or twice a year. The food is spectacular, the conversation by turns contemplative and raucous. Not to mention hilarious. Also, watching Kelly get waxed (don't worry, I rapidly decamped when the depilation progressed to South of the border, *ahem*) was memorable. (Yeah, wouldn't exactly call it "enjoyable". Heh.)
Jennifer and Michael were costumed to honor promises made for Kilted to Kick Cancer. May I just say that BOTH of them were feasts for the eyes. In a totally objective, platonic way. No, really.
The Nerds are always a delight, and Stingray certainly put his money were his mouth was, anteing up for KtkC, himself. LabRat had fun with fragrances, matching ladies (and gents?) with the best possible/most appealing scent. Yum.
Aepilotjim....hmmmm. Let's just say that he really rocked his footie pajamas. :D Sorry about your chair, we'll either get it fixed or replaced, at the very least before next year! And I think you need to remember your blankie. And get a teddy or a binky. Or BOTH.
Salamander, you need to hang around for more than a day, we hardly knew ye!
Spear, we were like ships passing in the night, wish we could have hung out more! Your gunsmith buddy, Jason (J.? Jay?), was a hoot. Does he blog?
The Texas contingent was out in force, too. Holly and Johnny, Phlegm Fatale and Lawdog, and the gentle gaint, Matt G. (All of them former "neighbors", I MISS THEM. Once a year isn't enough, y'all need to come out East to Beantown, you hear me?!)
Jay G. and Kelly shaved off their face-fur; it was somewhat traumatic, I believe. Speaking of Jay G., it was an invasion of the Massholes this year! I'm a Masshole now (shocking, no?), the SCI-FIs were of course there (with delicious lobstah in tow), and Weer'd and Mrs. Weer'd were part of the crew as well. Mrs. Weer'd, Phlegmmy, and I had an enjoyable hour browsing through a local antique store. I found a 1946 copy of Redbook I'm determined to send to my daughters...to show them the proper way to treat their (future) husbands...*snerk*. It's more likely to make their heads explode. Hey, just doing my job as a mom!
GayCynic was an awesome traveling buddy, and he brought the SCHWAG (from SAF.) Yes, I'm courting beaucoup vandalism because I WILL plaster the Blue Zephyr's bumpers with epic stickers supporting the 2nd Amendment.
I got to meet NEW friends, too! (Or at least, meet them in meatspace, the intarwebz being such a fantastic connector of people.) Peter, Wing, it was truly a pleasure to finally meet you. Hope we can get together again soon!
Crap. I KNOW I'm forgetting some folks. Please don't hate me if I left you out! I'm still processing the weekend, plus I dove right back into class today. Ugh.
Shooty goodness was indisputably had. This time I had my own guns with me, and I used up all the ammo for my CZ82 in a few hours. I'll know to bring MUCH more next year! I was a bit under the weather on Sunday, our range day (Saturday being rained/frozen out), so I didn't get to try out all the other boomsticks available (though Tam shared one of hers with me, squee!). (BTW, "under the weather" is likely a euphemism for "ZOMG, I think I ate too many lumpia/too much birthday cake/drank too much St. Brendan's [aka 'low-rent Bailey's']/had WAY too much caffeine!") I also tried to bag some prairie
The undisputed STAR of the weekend was only 10 weeks old. Butcher, the WonderPup! I'm positive I'm not the only Blogoradan who almost succumbed to the temptation of smuggling the sweetheart home. What a cutie!
Old NFO was greatly missed (though we did call him during the Ambulance Driver Waxing Adventures). I hope he can make it next time!
But of course, none of the fabulousness that is Blogorado would be possible without the FarmFamily.
Thanks to Farmmom, FarmDad, and Farmgirl, those most congenial hosts. If home is where the heart is, then part of me considers Blogoradoville home.
I'm honored to be your friend.
Monday, October 01, 2012
Head-Scratcher of the Day...
the ueber-chipper JetBlue associate happily informing me that the airline only allows firearms in checked baggage if they're going to be used for hunting or sporting purposes.
*blink blink*
Um. Did she think I was planning on staging a (VERY) small-scale invasion of my friends' back forty or something?!
*blink blink*
Um. Did she think I was planning on staging a (VERY) small-scale invasion of my friends' back forty or something?!
Monday, September 24, 2012
A name has been chosen.
My baby is officially "THE BLUE ZEPHYR".
BZ or Zephyr for short.
Yes, there's a joke in there, and no, I'm not going to explain it. Trust me, it wouldn't be funny to you.
I still haven't made my mind up about vanity plates. I didn't brave the RMV today, the wait times were close to two hours. I'll try first thing tomorrow morning, which gives me more time to decide on the plates issue.
Wish me luck that I get out of there with wallet and sanity mostly intact!
BZ or Zephyr for short.
Yes, there's a joke in there, and no, I'm not going to explain it. Trust me, it wouldn't be funny to you.
I still haven't made my mind up about vanity plates. I didn't brave the RMV today, the wait times were close to two hours. I'll try first thing tomorrow morning, which gives me more time to decide on the plates issue.
Wish me luck that I get out of there with wallet and sanity mostly intact!
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Futility...
...is arguing with an 11-year-old girl on the sexism of all the "girls" doing the "boys'" make-up before play performances. Yes, I started getting worked up about it. Sorry, it just pissed me off.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
WHEEEEELS!
I haz dem.
Wow, two months without a car is an eye-opener, lemme tell ya.
I got an excellent deal on an immaculate '02 Honda Accord sedan, Carfax report and all vehicle maintenance records included.
The car only has 76 K on it.
Can't beat that! Of course, on Monday I have the joy of letting the Commonwealth of Massachusetts rapeme my wallet.
Anyway, the light is really bad for pics right now, but I'll try to get some good ones tomorrow to post. Also, any name suggestions (after viewing the pics, natch) will be considered. The car is blue and has a spoiler, *rowr*.
I'm debating whether to spend money on vanity plates. I never have, but have always wanted to.
Hmmm....
LMT-RN
RN-LMT
MTRN14
RN&LMT (I don't know if special symbols are permitted. Must do more research!)
What do y'all think?
H/T to Ruth for setting my feet on the proper path. Without her, I'd not have this car!
Wow, two months without a car is an eye-opener, lemme tell ya.
I got an excellent deal on an immaculate '02 Honda Accord sedan, Carfax report and all vehicle maintenance records included.
The car only has 76 K on it.
Can't beat that! Of course, on Monday I have the joy of letting the Commonwealth of Massachusetts rape
Anyway, the light is really bad for pics right now, but I'll try to get some good ones tomorrow to post. Also, any name suggestions (after viewing the pics, natch) will be considered. The car is blue and has a spoiler, *rowr*.
I'm debating whether to spend money on vanity plates. I never have, but have always wanted to.
Hmmm....
LMT-RN
RN-LMT
MTRN14
RN&LMT (I don't know if special symbols are permitted. Must do more research!)
What do y'all think?
H/T to Ruth for setting my feet on the proper path. Without her, I'd not have this car!
Hey, it made me laugh.
Best electronic bank sign, seen outside a local bank:
"Pop in anytime!
(Except when we're closed.)"
"Pop in anytime!
(Except when we're closed.)"
Monday, September 17, 2012
So...
I cathed my first patient today.
Granted, "Mrs. Smith" was made of rubber and plastic, but STILL. My instructor was pleased.
And hey, at least "Mrs. Smith" couldn't mutter about how my semi-inept fumblings "down theah" reminded her of her late husband, God rest his soul. 'Cause that would have been awkward. ;)
Granted, "Mrs. Smith" was made of rubber and plastic, but STILL. My instructor was pleased.
And hey, at least "Mrs. Smith" couldn't mutter about how my semi-inept fumblings "down theah" reminded her of her late husband, God rest his soul. 'Cause that would have been awkward. ;)
Saturday, September 08, 2012
Overheard at the Spa...
after the massage:
"Wow, that's the best massage I've had since I was in Southeast Asia! Yeah, for the equivalent of $2.50, you'd get acupuncture, a massage, and a happy ending...hey, I was 23 and a hotshot Navy pilot, whadda ya gonna do?"
(nothing except stifle my laughter ;))
"Wow, that's the best massage I've had since I was in Southeast Asia! Yeah, for the equivalent of $2.50, you'd get acupuncture, a massage, and a happy ending...hey, I was 23 and a hotshot Navy pilot, whadda ya gonna do?"
(nothing except stifle my laughter ;))
Friday, September 07, 2012
*whew*
I survived my first week of nursing school. Do I get a t-shirt?
The word I heard most often from my fellow students is "overwhelmed". I used it (much) more than once, myself! I really believe this semester must be another "weeding out" phase. Why should the school invest a bunch of time and effort into teaching someone, only to have them fail at the end? It makes more sense to throw us into the deep end at the beginning of the program.
I keep hearing, "If we can make it through this semester, we can make it to the end!"
I hope they're right!
I'll have my pic taken on Monday when I'm in my uniform. I might even post it here...;)
Oh, and whoever thinks online classes are easy, YOU ARE A MORON! Just sayin'...
The word I heard most often from my fellow students is "overwhelmed". I used it (much) more than once, myself! I really believe this semester must be another "weeding out" phase. Why should the school invest a bunch of time and effort into teaching someone, only to have them fail at the end? It makes more sense to throw us into the deep end at the beginning of the program.
I keep hearing, "If we can make it through this semester, we can make it to the end!"
I hope they're right!
I'll have my pic taken on Monday when I'm in my uniform. I might even post it here...;)
Oh, and whoever thinks online classes are easy, YOU ARE A MORON! Just sayin'...
Fangirl SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Last night directly after my Nursing Assessment lab, I had the privilege of meeting one of my favorite authors EVAR...
LARRY CORREIA!!!!!
LARRY CORREIA!!!!!
He not only writes supremely entertaining fantasy/sci-fi/noir/alt-history/thrillers filled with humor and gunnie goodness, he is extremely funny, eloquent, and just all-around NICE in person.
And he's tall. No, really.
I'm 5'5" and I was wearing boots with a 2-inch heel.
Thanks to the efforts and madness of Jay G., after the event at the bookstore, we decamped to a restaurant and had dinner with Larry. Let me just say I haven't laughed that much in a long time.
So, if you get the opportunity, I highly recommend that you jump on the chance to meet Larry while he's out on tour, and BUY AND READ HIS BOOKS. There are links on his blog. Okay? Okay.
Saturday, September 01, 2012
Being without a vehicle...
has its ups and downs.
Riding my bike to work? Excellent.
Riding my bike over the overpass/freeway on-ramp that's closed to pedestrians, equestrians, and bicyclists? Nerve wracking.
Riding my bike to the back of the spa to lock it up and almost getting flattened by a rampaging garbage truck? Terrifying.
Getting to work in seven minutes? FUCKING AWESOME.
Riding my bike to work? Excellent.
Riding my bike over the overpass/freeway on-ramp that's closed to pedestrians, equestrians, and bicyclists? Nerve wracking.
Riding my bike to the back of the spa to lock it up and almost getting flattened by a rampaging garbage truck? Terrifying.
Getting to work in seven minutes? FUCKING AWESOME.
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