Then there was the elderly patient who asked me politely to dump the contents of his cup down the drain before he could accidentally drink it. When I asked him why he was worried about drinking his iced tea, and that I could get him some more ice, he told me he thought he had mistaken his empty cup for a urinal in the middle of the night and peed in it.
I carefully set the cup back down and said, "Let me get some gloves..."
And I made sure to document the dark amber color of his urine.
BTW, he had THREE urinals at his bedside!