Saturday, October 26, 2013

It's always nice...

when the owner of the spa is within earshot when a client tells the front desk staff that the massage she just received from me was the BEST MASSAGE EVAR.

I had a dream

I dreamed that today was Sunday and I didn't have to go to work. Then I woke up.


It would have been a dream come true!

Off to the salt mines, Y'all.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Public Service Announcement

If you're driving in heavy traffic through a tunnel, don't become obsessed with identifying the movie the kids in the minivan in front of you are watching. It will not end well.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Note to Self: Don't Blog When Exhausted...

I had my mental health clinical today, and it was a very good day.

A gentleman complimented me on my sweater.

A lady told me after a lengthy conversation that I had "a good light." (I got verklempt!)


Edited by author to remove stuff that wouldn't have been added had she not been totally exhausted.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Driving among Massholes

You must be prepared to SLAMONTHEBRAKES at any given nanosecond. Just sayin'.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Missin' my Blogorado Peeps.

I haz a sad.

Also: Stingray without Labrat is like peanut butter without jelly. I sense a disturbance in the force.


Sunday, October 13, 2013

Dream or nightmare?

You decide!

I dreamed I was working an overnight at the hospital, and rather than taking care of patients, the entire staff sang karaoke together, instead. LOUDLY.

The worst part is we were supposedly singing "Fernando" by ABBA, but even my subconscious doesn't know the song very well,  so it was a mash-up of "Fernando" and "Mandy" by Barry Manilow.



Yeah, I vote "nightmare". My brain is seriously fucked up.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Overheard in the Car

Washing babies is like washing dishes, only with more crying!


Just discovered that five SENIORS were expelled last semester for cheating on an exam. What utter MORONS. Why would they destroy their lives over a stupid grade on a test? I just don't get it.

Monday, October 07, 2013

While perusing a patient's H&P...

I came across this gem:

UDS* positive for Cannibals.


I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself. And when I showed it to my clinical instructor, SHE laughed so hard she nearly peed herself.

Ah, nursing school. Fun times.

*UDS=Urine Drug Screen

Sunday, October 06, 2013


I had an epiphany of sorts last night as I was cleaning the treatment room at work.

All the things that FUCKING IRRITATE me, that I consider my pet peeves, can really be boiled down to ONE GIANT PEEVE:


Don't be a half-ass, don't do a half-assed job.

It's simple. If you want to stay on my good side, finish what you start and do a thorough job.

It doesn't matter if it's at work, doing chores, driving on the street, writing something, whatever. If you are thorough and do things right, I won't have to shank you or wish you to the ninth circle of Hell. Or Siberia. Or that you are staked out on a fire-ant nest after being covered in honey .

You get the picture, I'm sure.

It makes my life so much easier to have recognized this! Now I don't have to freak people out (and or annoy/irritate them myself!) by enumerating all the things that tick me off!

It's just one.

Friday, October 04, 2013

Creepy McCreeperson

Had a client today who reminded me of Joe Pesci's character in the Lethal Weapon movies, and he gave off a weird vibe. He was either mentally ill in some way or he was high.

He was one of those clients who starts getting undressed the moment they walk through the door of the treatment room. Shoes kicked off and fingers unbuttoning the shirt. I reminded him to wait until I left the room to undress, and he pulled the shirt off and said, "See, I'm wearing a t-shirt!" No, it was an undershirt, there's a difference, and it's still inappropriate. These people are so worried about not getting the full time on their massage, they usually say things like, "I'll be done so quickly, you don't even need to leave the room!"
As did my client yesterday. Yeah, no. That doesn't fly.

He never crossed the line during our session, but he said a few things that put me on high alert, and made me choose my replies very carefully.

"What can we do to help me relax?" Ew. Just ew.

After he turned over to lie on his back, and I asked him how he was, he said,

"I feel GREAT. But enough is never enough...if you know what I mean."

Also EW.

But by far the oddest exchange happened right at the end, when I was massaging his neck and shoulders.
He looked up at me earnestly and said in a low voice,

"I apologize, Christina...and I know this is taking it too far, but do you massage...the face?!"



No, I didn't say that.

I assured him that I do indeed massage the face, and all was well in his universe.

After tipping me a measly 12 bucks and raving about my mad skillz to the front desk, he went on his way.


Let me just say...

Nursing school is not for wusses.

Every time I think I have a handle on things, one more (additional!) assignment gets tacked on. I feel like I'm drowning.

My anxiety is ratcheting up, my sleep is fractured and poor, and I'm getting increasingly cranky.

Before the current semester, the beginning of each semester was always like this. THIS semester, though, doesn't seem to be settling into a groove. I miss the groove. *sigh*

Oh, well. Maybe if I stop stressing so much about getting an A in every class, and stop being such a fucking perfectionist about my writing, I'll be able to relax. But knowing me, I doubt it, LOL.

Anywho, thanks for letting me vent, O Bloggy Friends!