Thursday, June 27, 2013

Karma is a bitch!

Just ask the motorcyclist who almost ran over me and my dogs yesterday.

My pups and I were finishing our morning constitutional and were waiting for a break in the typical morning rush hour traffic to cross the busy, two-lane street in front of our house. Nicely enough, a local cop in his patrol car stopped to let us cross. Harley, Tucker, and I hustled across the oncoming traffic lane, then passed in front of the cop car and were about to make it onto the sidewalk when we had to come to a screeching halt because an impatient motorcyclist on his crotch-rocket decided that he didn't need to wait in the line of cars. Nope, he thought it was a good idea to go speeding alongside the stopped vehicles. Places to go, people to see. And apparently run over, too. Have I mentioned there's no shoulder on this road? Luckily he was able to stop in time, but not before scaring the shit out of me and my dogs and pissing me right the fuck off. Tucker even pulled out of his collar and was loose in the street.

After hurling choice invective at the helmeted bonehead, I was focused on getting Tucker leashed and all three of us off of the road. The nice police officer had a different priority, though. After courteously waiting until my dogs and I were safe, he turned on his pretty lights and siren and disabused the motorcyclist of his notion that he could continue on his merry way unscathed. They were still there fifteen minutes later when I was putting the trash by the curb.

That put a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I hope they threw the book at him.

Ah, Karma...sometimes you're on my side.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013


...whenever a foreign-born (male!) client answers my question of "Have you ever had a massage before?" with "Well, not a massage like this...back home, massage is TOTALLY different," I have my suspicions on how the session is going to go. And I'm (unfortunately) usually right.


And to add insult to injury, he didn't tip me.

I'll have to have the front desk add a note to his file: If client calls to schedule another massage, refer him to Soong's Pleasure Palace down the road.