This is dedicated first to the lovely lady who rattled the handle of the bathroom door and kept tugging on it as I was *ahem* taking care of business, who exclaimed in disbelief "But it's LOCKED!!!" No shit, Sherlock. BECAUSE IT WAS OCCUPIED.
Second, this is dedicated to K., the douchenozzle pharmacy intern at the local CVS, and also to the chick in line behind me, both of whom mocked me for paying my $21.51 bill with exact change. What's the big deal? Does it make me weird to do that or something?
Finally, this is dedicated to the asshole who kept honking at me because I wasn't merging into highway traffic quickly enough for his tastes. I'm sorry, but I have no desire to become a semi's hood ornament.