Friday, August 24, 2012

Oh, those funny spammers!

Found the following gem in my inbox a few minutes ago (spamtastic link removed for obvious reasons):

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Let's hear it for comment moderation!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I feel FANTASTIC.

I had a massage and a facial today. Thank God for employee discounts!

I'm so relaxed.

The only thing is, whenever I get a massage from someone new, I always think, "This therapist totally rocks! Wow, my massage is really BORING."

I know it's not true, but you can't help being excited by some new (to you) techniques. Then it's hard to let go and completely relax, because you really want to focus on what your therapist is doing. Trying to break that habit, otherwise I don't get the full benefit of the massage!

Other than that, I rode my bike to the Y to work out, I saw "The Odd Life of Timothy Green", and I START CLASS TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY.

I'm not worried. Not at all.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Weirdest Electronic Highway Sign

STOP HARMFUL INSECTS

KEEP FIREWOOD LOCAL

WTF? Only in Massachusetts...

Sunday, August 19, 2012

My last client today...

had feet that smelled like cheese.

Right in the middle of the massage, I suddenly got an overwhelming craving for nacho cheese-flavored Doritos. And my stomach started growling. Loudly.

This "dieting" thing is messing with me!

Friday, August 17, 2012

Just when I think I've seen and heard it all...

there's the client who's a professional violinist.

That's not the unusual part.

This is: First, he asks me to make sure that NO music with violins is played. When I explain that I have no control over the music the spa pipes in, only the volume of said music, he insists on my turning the music off if ANY violins are in it. It makes for quite the awkward massage experience, for both of us, I'm sure.

I'm on tenterhooks the entire time, prepared to LUNGE for the wall and the volume control knob at the first hint of strings...then to try to estimate how long that particular, violin-polluted song will last. It's not fun.

Yes, I could just turn the music off entirely, but my client doesn't want that. He just doesn't want VIOLINS.

*sigh*

Repeat mantra in my head: The client is king. The client is king. The client is king. Big tip. Big tip. Big tip...

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Northeast Bloggershoot

We had SO MUCH FUN!!

Thanks so much to the DoubleTroubles for hosting the event, and to Jay G., of course, for being the organizer par excellence.

Thanks to everyone who brought goodies for us to shoot and were so generous with their guns and ammo.

I got to fire the ye olde handgonne (literally a blast;)).

I'm so happy that I had a chance to fire my CZ82 for the first time, and it was as awesome as I had hoped.
I was also thrilled to finally be able to say, "Hey, you wanna try MY gun?" :)

It was lovely to see my old friends , and equally lovely to meet new ones (especially the ones I've known on the intarwebz for years, and finally met in meatspace!). Y'all know who you are, and I'm just too tired to list and link everyone, especially since I'm certain to forget ONE person who'll get all butthurt about it. JUST KIDDING (about the butthurt, not about the forgetting...I'm getting old, what can I say!)

The only complaint I have is that there was never enough time to sit and chat as long as I'd have liked with all the folks there. I tended to migrate from group to group but again: not enough time, dammit!

 Biggest surprise of the day: Lissa (with BabyKitty on board) and Mike unexpectedly dropped by!

All in all an extremely successful event, and I hope to see everyone again next year!

Thanks, Y'all!

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Dear Client:

I'm sorry your lower back is hurting. I empathize, truly I do, because my lower back hurts a lot, too.

HOWEVER, wanting me to focus my massage efforts on your lower back during our session is somewhat impeded by the FUCKING PIERCING YOU HAVE SMACK-DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF EACH QL MUSCLE.

I can work around it, but it ain't gonna be pretty.

Thank you,

Christina LMT

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Wish I had seen it...

and captured it on camera!

Mrs. SCI-FI came running down the stairs this morning, frantically unlocking the front door. I had let the dogs out a few minutes before and was making tea. I had no idea what was going on, though I could hear my dogs barking.

Turns out Mrs.SCI-FI had been in the upstairs bathroom and observed my dogs curiously approaching a rather protective (wild) mama turkey who was going about her business with her mostly-grown chicks at the bottom of the backyard, near the treeline. Said mama turkey objected to my dogs' course of action quite vehemently.

Bird-Zilla chased my dogs a hundred yards, all the way up the backyard and around the house, where my pups sought shelter on the front porch, and where Mrs. SCI-FI became their savior by letting them escape inside.

The turkey (which I've seen in our yard before) is definitely bigger than Harley and possibly equal to Tucker in size, with legs bigger around than either dogs'. And huge, vicious claws.

I'm glad my dogs can run fast, just sayin'!