Wound of unknown origin.
Eight hundred bucks and several stitches later, Pipsqueak is home and well. On antibiotics and pain killers, wearing the Cone of Shame, and quarantined for 45 days. Ah, the joys of having an indoor/outdoor cat.
Poor kitty wants to go outside so badly, but it AIN'T HAPPENING. He'd just better get reacquainted with the litter box, ASAP.