Monday, November 28, 2011

Most Excellent Evening!

I had a wonderful afternoon and evening today, spending a solid hour at the range with Weer'd, getting to shoot my rifle (yay!), his CZ82 (checking out potential carry guns), a revolver in .22LR (help me out here, bro...what was it called?!), and his "Baby Beretta".
 
I had a ton of fun and we stayed until they kicked us out for a scheduled match.

We decamped for Casa Weer'd, where the always delightful Mrs. Weer'd awaited us.
After sipping tea and chatting for an hour or so, it was time for me to head back home. A day well spent, my friends!

Thanks again, Weer'd, for a most excellent day!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

to everyone out there (who celebrates Thanksgiving, of course!)

Now I retire to enjoy my food coma, hope you do the same.

So proud!

Last Friday, my oldest daughter, Silver the Evil Chao, was inducted into Upsilon Pi Epsilon (UPE), the International Honor Society for the Computing and Information Disciplines.

Yeah, she kicks total ass...as if you didn't know already!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Overheard in the breakroom...

"Then I told that disgusting perv, 'Don't you come in here thinking this is a whorehouse! And don't ask anybody else here that question!'"

I was too busy to ask for details, but I'm pretty sure I know what question the disgusting perv asked.

*sigh*

Saturday, November 19, 2011

"Game called...

...on account of *BLARGH*!!!"

For the very first time since I became a massage therapist, I had to break off a massage yesterday. My final client of the day ended up hurling (luckily, she made it to the bathroom in time!) about thirty minutes into her ninety minute massage.

She emerged from the loo looking rather wan, but insisted she wasn't sick, she felt fine. Picture me rolling my eyes, HARD.

I explained that it was a very bad idea to continue the massage under the circumstances and that she was welcome to reschedule with me when she felt better. Of course we didn't charge her for this visit.

Hey, she still tipped me, which I thought was very decent of her, considering.

Hope she feels better.

Friday, November 18, 2011

New England Rotary*

EQUALS Wheel of DEATH!




*aka "roundabout" or "traffic circle" for all you non-New Englanders!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Tech Bleg

So, any advice on how to watch my Hulu stuff on our TV?

Thanks in advance...I know y'all are way more clever than I am with stuff like that!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Observation:

There's something inexplicably delightful and charming in hearing my very refined and oh-so-proper Moroccan colleague, A., sprinkle the f-bomb randomly into conversation.

Perhaps it's the accent?

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Uh, no...not really!

As I was waiting for my client to emerge from the treatment room, my colleague J., visibly disturbed, scurried down the hallway toward the breakroom. As she passed by me she paused and muttered, "You ever have a client say, 'Thank GOD I wore underwear today!' before the massage?!"

Thankfully, no!

And I don't even want to begin to contemplate the meaning behind that statement.

Monday, November 07, 2011

Monday Haiku

glinting through the woods
blue sky, clouds, russet treetops
pond's calm reflections

DISTURBING!

Massaged a young woman yesterday, and when I draped her back, I noticed her trampstamp.

It was a lovely, Gothic cross.

*blink blink*

'Cause nothing says "FUCK ME HARDER, YOU NASTY BASTARD! OOOOH, YEAH...SPANK ME!"
like knowing Jesus died for your sins...and IS WATCHING YOU!!!!

Friday, November 04, 2011

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, but it's not my fault that the person scheduling your appointment fucked up and booked you an hour instead of a 90-minute massage.

 I'm sorry that your expectations of what a massage is weren't met. Massage therapists aren't chiropractors, and it's outside of our scope of practice to do spinal manipulations and adjustments.

I'm sorry that I didn't "beat (you) up" enough. You have several herniated disks, you take muscle relaxants and narcotic painkillers, and deep tissue massage is contraindicated.

I'm sorry that you apparently weren't listening when I explained all this to you.

I'm sorry that you had to spend 15 minutes at the front desk complaining about it all.

I'm sorry that I was already in with another client, and that I wasn't there to discuss it more with you and the front desk associate.

That being said, I'm glad you got the massage for free and I'm glad you rebooked with another therapist (who goes by the nickname "Hitler"). Maybe she can make you happy. Maybe she won't care about risking your health and her license and will beat the shit out of you.

I'm sorry, but it's not my problem anymore.

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

RIP

I was stunned and saddened to hear today of the passing of William the Coroner.

We weren't close friends, by any means, but I certainly enjoyed reading his blog and I hope he got an occasional chuckle from mine.

My condolences to his family and friends, he was definitely a special person, and he's gone much too soon.

Rest in peace.

Mayhem...

in the backyard!

Critters (most likely coyotes) nabbed one of the neighbors' chickens in our backyard.
It looks like a down pillow exploded back there and my dogs are going crazy sniffing, sniffing, sniffing everywhere. Not to mention peeing.

I'm amazed at how long my wimpy dogs stayed out in the cold this evening, investigating all the intriguing scents. Maybe they aren't such high-maintenance, etepetete wusses after all!

Weather Observation

You know it's a bit chilly outside when your dog's poo steams.

Wait, is that weather, or climate?

Let's ask Al Gore!