Friday, May 20, 2011

This ain't my first rodeo.

I've been doing massage for quite a few years now and I'm pretty jaded. Nothing much fazes me anymore.

I've had the groaners and the moaners. I've had the folks with flatulence.
I guess it was the juxtaposition of the moaning and the farting that discombobulated me a bit today. Not to mention the occasional chuckle thrown in.

"Mmmmmmmmmm...ooooooh...oh HO ho ho ho..."

blaaaaaaaaat!

"Uh.....oh, yeah...mmmmmmmmm"

pppllllllllltttttt!

*blink blink*

At least his gas was odorless. And he never sported wood.

9 comments:

Keads said...

So exactly where do I need to be to get a massage from you? If you can forgive all of that I might stand a chance!

Seriously, the right shoulder is killing me and I just got a happy diagnosis of tennis elbow. Same arm.

So is sporting wood in bad form? Even if you do not ask for a happy ending? Inquiring minds want to know!

Christina LMT said...

Sporting wood is not an issue. It's fairly common. So long as no mention is made of it, I don't care. I just thought that in this client's case, it would have been a bit much!

Where do you live? I'm in North Texas, so...

Keads said...

Thanks for the advice. The Doc did recommend massage but not through the usual PT health care people. Anytime a doctor says "they are right across from the liquor store" I can assume they are not at the Hospital! Don't get this wrong, I live in a small town and the liquor is state controlled here. Not a red light district.

North Texas? Best I can say is I have been to Houston and Lubbock!

I am on the East Coast! Damn your state is big!

Guffaw in AZ said...

Guess I was raised wrong, or something.
I've always considered therapeutic massage as a medical procedure.
One time I went to an unfamiliar place, wherein I was offered 'extras'.
I left, embarrassed and puzzled.
And my back still hurt.

Old NFO said...

Sounds like ONE of those days Christina! Hang in there :-)

Christina LMT said...

GFA, on the contrary...you were raised RIGHT. :)

Old NFO, (almost) anything that provides blogfodder is okay in my book. And the gentleman in question was an EXCELLENT tipper. :D

TallyAngel said...

BWAHAHAHAHA! My neighbors prolly heard me laughing.

og said...

Only times I ever got massages, I was, thankfully, flatulence free. I'd hate to have had that on my conscience. PLus that vietnamese woman was pretty nice. It'd have killed her flat dead. It's nearly lethal filtered through jeans.

LMB said...

Good god, were you massagine Weerd or something? :D