Thursday, March 31, 2011

Overheard in the trailer park...

Me: You know, this place isn't so bad, as far as trailer parks go.

Roomie: Yeah. They closed the whorehouse down years ago, and there haven't been any murders or shootings in a while.

2nd Statistics Exam...

68/70!

w00t!

Now if only the current chapters made sense to me...

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Monday, March 28, 2011

So...

I had a few eggs left in a carton that were getting a bit, well, OLD. So I hard-boiled 'em to use as snacks and for salad.

Cut to this weekend, when I get a text at work from my roomie that says, "Oh I see. That's a BOILED egg. NOMNOMNOM."

LOL.

Allergy Update...

Thank you all for your comments and advice on my allergy woes.

Since it's what I had in the house at the time, I've been taking a combo of Claritin and Benadryl, and it helps a lot. My eyes are still bothering me, so I'm going to follow Holly's and Mike W.'s advice of using Visine-A, as soon as I can get to the store later today to buy some.

I think I'll get a sinus rinse at the same time, too. Might as well give it a shot, a lot of folks I know and respect highly recommend it.

I just hope that this misery passes quickly. I HATE having to take pills constantly. At least the Benadryl is helping me sleep better at night...

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Could someone please explain cat physics to me?

Why the fuck can Pipsqueak effortlessly float to the top of the kitchen counter (where he's not supposed to be), or onto the bed (where he's welcome), but when he jumps onto my lap, he somehow can't make it all the way without employing the pitons claws on his hind feet? And he draws blood, every time. Even after I've clipped his nails.

Little fucker.

He'll hopefully figure out that I don't find it endearing to be dripping blood because of him, and that if he wants to get the lap and the lovin', he needs to be more careful. And it had better be soon, I only have so much unmarred skin left on my thighs!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Golden Shower...

doggy-style!

Was just out walking the pups through our beautiful trailer park when the hounds found some enticing scents on a fencepost. On opposite sides of a fencepost. Tucker, the taller one, was Quick-draw McGraw and lifted his leg first, copiously coating his brother's back with his hot pee...and Harley was either completely oblivious or didn't give a shit. I vote for "didn't give a shit."

*sigh*

One bath, coming up...

Thursday, March 24, 2011

WTF, North Texas?!

I'm 41 years old and I've NEVER suffered from seasonal allergies or hayfever in my life. Now it's like all the local vegetation has suddenly declared war on me and I feel like hammered shit. WTF, North Texas, WTF?!

In other news, I just took my second statistics exam, and except for two questions that weren't supposed to be on the exam (*grumble grumble*), I think I did fairly well.

A & P II is going swimmingly as well, and I'm on track to apply on May 1st for the next nursing class starting this fall. It's about damn time.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

It's never a good sign...

when the client is observed sniffing his pits in the reception area. Trust me on this.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Bizarre Tattoo Chronicles, Edition #371

My last client of the day was a gen-u-ine cowboy. 6'5", his feet ALMOST dangled off the end of the table. He strode in wearing jeans, boots, hat, and belt with a semi-discreet prize buckle. (Meaning it wasn't quite the size of a dinner-plate.)

The massage proceeded apace, and I draped him to work on his foot and right leg. And froze.

For there it was. THE tattoo.

Picture this: A peanut M&M. Wearing a cowboy hat. Brandishing a revolver. Smirking, while saying, "Melts in your mouth, not in your hands*."

And the tattoo is VERY high up his right quadriceps muscle.

Wonder what he's trying to say with that...?

*rolls eyes*



*yes, it was plural.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

I'm in LOVE...

with my new Kindle. I can't get over the fact that if I find a book I like, it takes me about twenty seconds to purchase it and transfer it to my Kindle. It's lighter and less bulky than a book, and I can have HUNDREDS of books on there. I can turn it off, and when I turn it back on, it's on the same page I left it. I can adjust the font size, too.

*happy sigh*

Now I can start rebuilding my library, and finish getting rid of my dead-tree books (except for those that have sentimental value, of course!)

I love my Kindle, and I love living in the future!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Number One Thing I Never Thought to Hear in a Massage...

"Wolves and wolf-hybrids make the BEST pets! They're so sweet!"

In what universe, Lady?

Friday, March 11, 2011

Trainwreck...

my client, that is.

Pacemaker.
Bone cancer in remission.
Degenerative disc disease.
Donated a kidney a few years back.
Herniated discs in lumbar area.
Swollen ankle of unknown etiology.
Arthritis.
Hypertension.

As a matter of fact, pretty much the only thing that ISN'T circled "yes" on her intake form is "Diabetes"...

She insists that she doesn't want any of that "deep massage", and is very particular about fragrances and the heat of the table and room.

Is she the kind of client who makes me grumble a bit initially? Perhaps. But she's also the client who benefits the MOST from massage.

I enjoy doing "frou-frou" relaxation massages, but it's this kind of massage, the truly therapeutic kind, that keeps me motivated and interested.

Because seeing this client walk up to the reception after the massage, with much more ease and with a smile on her face, really made my day. And when she hugged me, well, that was just the icing.

Why can't we just all get along?

Like my puppehs and kittehs do?

"What's Mom doing?"

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"Ah, who cares?"

*zzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

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:)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Beantown!

Where to begin?

I had SUCH a good time! An epic birthday, in fact. I think I'll take a leaf out of Phlegmmy's book and just declare that the entire trip was in celebration of my birthday, how's that?

I had a birthday cake, the first for me in twenty years (I believe). It even had CANDLES. Which I blew out! I received lovely gifts, including a hand-made card and a painting of a sunrise/sunset (I got to choose what it is!).

And I got a KINDLE. A KINDLE!!! I've wanted one for years and years. And YEARS. :)

I got a tour of Boston, including riding the T, and I wandered Quincy Market at Faneuil Hall, where I had some yummy American GREEK food. ;) I also marveled at the ridiculously inflated parking prices, which left me slightly yearning for all the free parking in Las Vegas.

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This is also when I captured the iconic image of the "Boston Shun Bench"!

I got to meet two of my very favorite bloggers, too. SO. MUCH. FUN.

One evening my wonderful hosts took me on a surprise laser-tag mission, where I went by the name "Zoomie" and naturally kicked major ass. I came in fifth out of 38 people, and ended up being whupped by ten-year-old boys. I get a wee bit competitive in situations like that, as my hosts' nine-year-old daughter discovered, to her chagrin...

"Miss Christina, do you want to be on our team?"

(I think about it for a split second.)

"NO!"

*ZAP*

(No, I wasn't really that mean. Not QUITE that mean, anyway...)

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Then we went for ice cream...nomnomnom. In general, there was much feasting going on, though I hope I kept things under some modicum of control.

We watched "The Last Airbender" (because we're fans of the TV show) and gave it the MST3K treatment, which was better than it deserves ("Ptooey!"), and I got sore playing Wii Fit. Those balance "games" kicked my butt!

At a few points amidst the frivolity of my visit, I managed to give my hosts massages, which doesn't even come close to repaying their kindness to me, but I tried.

All in all, despite doing some surfing down a flight of stairs on Tuesday morning before my departure and getting a bit banged up, this was a wonderful, marvelous trip. I can't wait to go back to New England, I just hope it'll be warmer next time...and greener!

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Quickie...

I made it back safely to Texas...YAY!
I just have one question: Why am I so exhausted from traveling, when I sat on my ass the whole time?!

Here's a pic to tide you over until I can post something more substantial, like the awesome dinner I had with Weer'd Beard and his Missus, and SCI-FI and his Missus!

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Gotta be a Red Sox fan now!

(Strangely enough, my ex-husband is a HUGE Yankees fan...go figure!)

Sunday, March 06, 2011

7 things...

Mike tagged me a few days ago with this lovely meme, and I've been wracking my brains to come up with stuff that I haven't already spilled here or otherwise widely disseminated, but I'll give it a shot!

1.My cursive handwriting really sucks, because I skipped 3rd grade, and that's when you spend weeks and weeks practicing cursive. (Actually, my handwriting just really sucks, full stop.)

2.When I was about 12, I got locked in the library at Tempelhof Airbase in Berlin. My brothers were across the landing at the Rec Center, playing D & D, and I had to bang on the door to get their attention. After pointing and laughing for a while, they got the security police, who did not have a key to the library. The poor librarian, who had just made it home, had to come all the way back across town to let me out.

3.I worked in a chocolate factory for two weeks when I was 18. It turned me off of chocolate for quite some time, but not forever. Mmmmmmm, chocolate...

4.I once collected signatures for Greenpeace and helped the ban of the sale of seal fur be put in place in Europe.

5.In tenth grade, I skipped school (all of us did, it was officially known as "Tag der Schulen" [Day of the Schools]) and marched on Kreuzberg city hall to protest nuclear weapons. "SS20, Pershing Zwei, nieder mit der Schweinerei!"

6.I've been to many countries in Europe, but never made it to England. I had several opportunities, but declined because I already spoke English, so why would I want to go there? :facepalm: Man, was I a stupid kid!

7.On my 17th birthday, a boy I knew busted into the classroom where I was taking a Latin exam and handed me a three page love letter and a bouquet of flowers, then left. His best friend ended up being my first boyfriend (I already had a crush on him at that time), but I still have the letter. :)

I'm not going to tag anyone else, because most everyone I know has been tagged already by someone else!

Saturday, March 05, 2011

*squeeeee*

Pardon me while I compose myself.

*ahem*

I had the opportunity to meet Marko, the Munchkin Wrangler, one of my most favorite bloggers EVAR, earlier today. I've been excited about it for weeks now!

Once I got over being all verklemmt and tongue-tied (almost unimaginable, isn't it? Yet true!), the conversation flowed nicely. We all enjoyed delicious food while I savored the opportunity to practice my Kraut, since those opportunities are VERY few and far between.

I went even more fangirl on the poor man (and hopefully gave him a chuckle) by asking him to autograph the latest copy of Concealed Carry Magazine*, since he graces the cover.

I told him I plan on holding onto it until he's a New York Times best-selling, world famous author...then I'll auction it off on eBay for some cold, hard cash!

Voila:

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There are also a few scribbles of mine in one of his notebooks, since he let me relive my German school experience by writing with his fountain pens (they're like American Express, he never leaves home without them).

AND he gave us all the opportunity to take a peek at his work-in-progress...how cool is that?!

We lingered and chatted long after our food had been consumed, which is always a good sign that a fun time was had by all...

Thanks for making the long trek from Castle Frostbite, Marko! We'll have to do it again soon. :)

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*Okay, okay...it's technically my ROOMMATE'S magazine, but I'll give him a cut...

This one's for Alan...

Shun Bench, Boston edition!

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The folks over at the GBC will get it, if no one else will...;)

Thursday, March 03, 2011

It's TIME...

PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!!

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is my birthday, w00t! I'm going to be 41 years old.

I remember marveling as a child that I would turn 30 in the year 2000, and how OLD I'd be...LOL.

Why 29 was still acceptably young yet 30 not I don't know.

Anyway, I'm headed to Boston bright and early tomorrow to visit friends and take in the sights. I'll have my laptop with me so I'll probably be posting on occasion, and will definitely be checking email, etc.

We're getting together on Saturday for lunch and Monday for dinner, so if anyone in the area would like to join us, drop me an email at lucrativepain@yahoo.com...

Don't trash the joint while I'm gone, but do remember to walk the dogs...