Sunday, January 16, 2011

Philosophical Debate...

Ahhh, my colleague Linda, occasional pain in the ass she might be, is always a good source of blog-fodder. Case in point: the debate we got into yesterday...

Linda is ALWAYS griping about heavy clients. Hell, she'll inform *you* that your client is "huge" if she caught a glimpse of said client before you had a chance to. Why? I have no idea. It seems to be one of her missions in life. That being said, she really took the cake yesterday when she proclaimed the following:

Linda: You know, we really should charge fat people more for massage.

Me:...What?!

Linda: Seriously! If I massage a 400-pound person, that's like massaging 2 200-pound people!

Me: First of all, that's discriminatory. Second of all, that's completely untrue, as our clients get timed services. A fifty or eighty-minutes massage is just that. A fat person might end up not getting as *thorough* a massage, since there is more body to work on, but the same goes for someone who is very muscular or really tall. Hell, I massaged a man so tall, he had to duck to get through the door, should we have charged him more? What about the lady I massaged earlier? She was 5 feet tall if she stretched, and maybe weighed 80 pounds, should we give her a discount?!

Linda: Airlines charge fat people more if they have to use two seats!

Me: Yeah, because they're taking up space that another customer could have used, that makes sense. We're not using more time on heavy clients.

Linda (whining now): But it's more WORK for me, so I should get more money!

Me: How is it more work? You need to remember to adjust your table if your client is particularly large, that's all.

Linda: I guess it would be a bit difficult to implement. After all, some people might weigh 275, but look like they weigh 300...

Me (facepalm): So, we'd need to have a scale here, and WEIGH the clients who appear questionable? Charge all clients by the pound?

We left the discussion there, pretty much. Funny thing is, Linda is by no means svelte. So how did she end up so fat-phobic...?

13 comments:

BGMiller said...

Oi vey.......

Some people take to logical thinking like a duck to lava.

And it must be a law somehow that everybody has to have one of those coworkers.

BGM

George in AZ said...

"We left the discussion there, pretty much. Funny thing is, Linda is by no means svelte. So how did she end up so fat-phobic...?"

You just answered your own question.

Christina LMT said...

George, somehow that makes it all worse.

Old NFO said...

George beat me to it... self compensation maybe???

phlegmfatale said...

I'll echo the other and say Linda's fat-phobic in part out of self-loathing. Also, she strikes me as lazy and intellectually stunted. Again- the 45 or 60 or whatever minutes the person paid for are what they are going to get.

I would say that the way you have to bring your expertise to the table is something to celebrate-- it will never be possible for any machine to be able to assess the patient, listen to what they are saying (and NOT saying) and customize their therapy accordingly. Celebrate that the sheer need to be in tune with the client on a visceral level gives you absolute job security for EVAR.

I'm seriously starting to hate on Linda. She should be so lucky to get her mits on my plump, juicy ass. :P

Anonymous said...

I second Phlemmy's intellectually stunted...

first pyramid schemes, now fat phobia...

this woman needs to get a life...


B

Mulligan said...

just ended the conversation there ?

no happy ending?

Stingray said...

"So if we do trades, you'll give me a 80, but you'll just get a 50. 'Cause of the extra work and all. Sound about right?"

Blondefabulous said...

It's easier to pick on other people for their shortcomings than realize you have those very same shortcomings.

Shannon said...

Tell her that if she could only manage to be half as insensitive, then her massage techniques might be twice as effective and it will all balance out. What a shame that her negative energy is flowing through her fingers into other people's bodies.

Mike W. said...

Linda is obviously an intellectual heavyweight......

Christina LMT said...

Phlegmmy, indeed! She should be so blessed. Nobody's perfect, least of all me, so I shouldn't be so hard on Linda. She's a rather bitter old bird, but she certainly has her kind moments, too.

B, not sure she HAS much of a life, outside of work. Though she makes a point of going to church as often as possible...

Mulligan, I know where you sleep...don't make me hurt you!

Stingray, I like the way you think!

Blondie, ain't that the truth?!

Shannon, oddly enough, Linda has some very loyal clients, but she does put off some people, too. She's VERY blunt and doesn't know the meaning of tact.

Mike, she's not dumb, but very tone-deaf in many ways. Especially to tact and nuance!

be603 said...

...and you haven't called for a Reality Show producer to scout your location, why?

Think of the possiblities with all the personalities that pass through.

What such a show would be named?

Dirty Jobs? Nope, that ones taken.