Thursday, September 30, 2010

Monster Hunter Vendetta...

is now available (and has been since Monday...so I'm behind the curve, what're you gonna do about it? ;))!!

I enjoyed the first book in the series, Monster Hunter International tremendously, as did my daughter, Silver, so I can't wait to get my grubby paws on MHV! I just ordered my copy...yay!

Now what the NEXT Monster Hunter book needs is a kick-ass, monster hunting MASSAGE THERAPIST!

Just sayin'...

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Well...

I only got a B on my Anatomy and Physiology lecture exam. *sigh* I made too many stupid mistakes. I was four points shy of an A, but "close" only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. I'll prepare better for the next exam. And get an A. Dammit.

Another EXCELLENT cardio song...

discovered on my iPod today.

They owe it to the WORLD!

After listening to Episode 69 of Vicious Circle, one thing has become crystal clear to me.

The Atomic Nerds owe it to the world to procreate, to have at least ONE special child, just to combat the deleterious effects of all the Hipsters breeding unchecked on this earth.

LabRat, Stingray...can't you SEE? The odds are against us unless you provide us with the fruit of your union! One Atomically Nerdish child balances out at LEAST a million Hipster crotch excrescences.

It's only logical.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

*Happy Dance*

Got my Microbiology exam back this evening...*ahem*...I GOT A 94!!!!!

w00t!

Let the party begin!

After class, my professor mentioned that I'd gotten the highest score. Wow. I honestly had no idea how I'd done, it was one of the hardest exams I'd ever taken.

I know it's bragging, but this is my blog, dammit! Out of fifty students, 7 "A"'s.

Okay, enough about that, now it's onward to the next exam, A & P tomorrow evening. I already know I got a "B" on the lab portion, which I'm delighted over, as it was completely horrible. Out of 150 students, 7 "A"'s, 17 "B"'s, and 75 "F"'s!!!

It was no fun. I'm just waiting to find out how I did on the lecture portion of the exam. You'll hear it first!

Halestorm...more modern cheese!

I Get Off...

Monday, September 27, 2010

Getting all misty-eyed...

My oldest daughter informed me gleefully last night that she was on her way to her very first D & D campaign. A bunch of her friends got together and decided to start a regular one up. Every Sunday at 7:30. While I'm absolutely thrilled at this development, what made me tear up is the fact that she's using MY DICE, the very ones I used, lo these many years ago, in my own RPG's.

Family heirloom dice. That earns us some serious geek cred right there!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Overheard at the Spa...

New Boss: Yeah, I'm using the new patchouli essential oil as a scent. I really like it! What's patchouli good for, anyway?

Me: I dunno...smelling like a hippie?




D'oh! Yes, I really said that to my new boss. Luckily, she laughed instead of firing me. *whew*

Overheard at the Chinese Buffet...

"They charged me for the HOT WATER? When I brought my own TEA BAGS? Just for that, I'm gonna go barf in their toilet again. Bastards."

This was the SHIT...

when I was 14...;)

Friday, September 24, 2010

Screeching brakes...

So I was at work yesterday until 7 PM. I had NOTHING scheduled, so I was working for free. (Yay. NOT.)

Right at 6 I got a walk-in. Just a thirty-minute back, neck, and shoulder massage. As I read the client's intake sheet, two things stood out. One, she was just twenty, and two, in the space next to "are you pregnant", she'd left "yes" and "no" uncircled and had written in "might be"...

I collected her from the lobby and escorted her back to the treatment room. She was gorgeous and so heart-breakingly young. She looked like a baby to me.

I was thinking as I massaged her, "This girl is MUCH too young to even be daydreaming about having children, what was she thinking?! She's less than a year older than Silver!"

Suddenly my train of thought came to a screeching halt..."Waitaminute! When *I* was her age, I was married and pregnant! I (felt like I) was a grown-up and knew everything there was to know about life. Who the fuck am I to be judging her?"

I finished the massage and silently wished her the best of luck with her "maybe" pregnancy.

A reality check now and then is beneficial in silencing our inner asshole.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Advertising FAIL!

It doesn't exactly inspire me with confidence in your skills when you advertise your business thusly:




All Type!

RePaiR + ReMoDel

Call 123-456-7890!

We do all Type!




And it's written in the DUST ON YOUR REAR WINDSHIELD!!!!

Excellent song for cardio...

and incidentally the ONLY Britney Spears song on my iPod:



Thanks, Silver, for adding this to my songs!

Say WHAT?!

While glancing at my wall calendar to make sure I didn't miss any appointment or commitment today, I noticed that it's the first day of fall. Nifty. Right below this pronouncement, however, there was another:

See You at the Pole Day

WTF?!

Trusty google showed me the way to here, which reveals that SYATPD is a day for students to peacefully gather at their schools' flag poles and pray together.

And here I was thinking it had something to do with strippers.

Must have lived in Vegas too long.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

80's Cheese FTW!

Look at the HAIR!

So...

took my first exam, and it was HARD. So very, very hard. Well, I usually do well on these multiple choice thingies, so we'll see. I'll find out my grade next Tuesday.

BUT, I triumphed in lab today! You know you have no life when the high point of your day (so far) is having your lab instructor look through your microscope at your slide of Mycobacterium smegmatis (did acid-fast testing tonight) and declare, "Beautiful!"

LOL!

I'm sorry...

Mr. Nice Motorcycle Officer. Yes, I do see that you're flashing your headlights at me, because you want me to get out of your way. But, see? I'm passing a big rig, and I have no desire to get squashed like a bug by moving into his lane RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!

I'll move to the right lane after I have acquired a safe distance from the truck, thankyouverymuch. Then you may be on your way. And yes, you look cute in your uniform. Whatever.

:P

*gulp*

First exam today, in microbiology. Wish me luck, 'cause I'm gonna need it!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Poor Elisha...

There she was, already stifling her giggles because my client was snoring loud enough to shake the (figurative) rafters, when something caught my eye that I just HAD to draw her attention to...

So I poked her in the arm and pointed.

To where my client was pitching quite a respectable tent. While fast asleep. And snoring. With his girlfriend three feet away.

It took all of Elisha's powers of concentration and professionalism not to pee. THAT'S how hard she was laughing! Luckily, we had these heated, herbal eye-pillows covering our clients' eyes, so they were blissfully unaware of Elisha's (silent) meltdown.

Ah, massage therapy. I'll never run out of stories, 'cause the clients keep doing funny shit.

The cheese, will it never stop?!

I can't seem to help myself. Plus, it's easy blog-fodder while I'm studying for my first exams on Tuesday and Wednesday...GULP.

And if Nickelback keeps writing cheesy songs, I guess I'll keep posting them. They're so darn catchy, curse them!



We're all just animals, anyway. Right?

Saturday, September 18, 2010

And the cheesiness continues...

I find some gems on my iPod that had slipped my memory...




Shock me!

*ahem*

If you direct your gaze to your right, you'll notice a new badge on my sidebar...

Lucrative Pain made a top fifty list!!!!

Massage Therapy Programs has named my humble little blog one of the top fifty massage blogs on the internet. Wow.

I didn't even know there were fifty massage blogs out there!

JUST KIDDING!

I'm truly honored, and simultaneously left scratching my head, but will not look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak.

I MADE A TOP FIFTY LIST!!! W0000000000T!

Overheard at the hotel...

...while walking down a service corridor, emanating from a radio hanging off the belt of a young, skinny dude...

"Mike? Calling Mike! Mike, do you copy? Your popsicles are in the office!"

I swear to God, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Constant Craving...

no, not the k d lang song, the following picture!

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It's a perfect illustration of how I feel sometimes. Thanks, Brigid!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Exceedingly cheesy...

yet equally catchy. Nickelback's "Something in your Mouth".

Decaffeination Modification...

Okay, I'll admit it. I failed. I can't seem to completely cut caffeine out of my life, no matter how hard I try. BUT, I'm limiting myself to ONE cup of half-caf, only on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons, because of school. I can't stay awake for three hours of lecture and two hours of lab without it.

*sigh*

Let the mocking commence! ;)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Ah, memories...

I was leaving the gym just now, which happens to be located across the street and down a bit from the local high school. The marching band drumline was practicing outside, and I was instantly thrust back to Las Vegas, attending Silver's high school football games.

Good times. :)

I'm finally getting the hang of it!

Microscopy, that is. :D

Last night, in microbiology lab, I Gram stained and located (in FOCUS!) three critters:

Mycobacterium smegmatis

Staphylococcus aureus

Escherichia coli

w00t!

The E. coli took me about thirty seconds to find. I'm so happy!

In other news, it's hilarious watching my dogs play tag outside, especially since I'm "base".

Oh, and in other, OTHER news, I had a fantastic workout yesterday and did (among other things) 135 crunches. GO, ME!

Progressive Quiz...

I scored 128, which for some reason I can't seem to be able to cut/copy and paste here, so I'll just link to the quiz itself!

On some things I'm very conservative, on others I'm very liberal. Don't try to make sense of it! :D

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Massage Haiku

Oh what should you do
When your client flirts with you?
I don't have a clue.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

But...

despite the ominous start to the day, it didn't turn out half-bad! And on my way out to the car after work, I saw a beautiful butterfly and it made me smile.

Somehow...

...I don't think walking face-first through a giant spiderweb first thing in the morning is a GOOD omen for the rest of the day, but I'll take what I can get!

I still have spiderwebs stuck in my eyelashes...:D




UPDATE:

The incredible and witty Lissa sent me an oh-so-appropriate link in the comments, I just had to share it with y'all!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Fly

I love this song by the Wilkinsons SO MUCH. It's beautiful, and I love the harmonies. Go and listen, see if you like it, too.

Yes!

Miracles can happen. Things can change.

Even the stupidest people can be taught the error of their ways. Imagine that.

Photobucket

Victory is mine, and it tastes sweet. :)

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Best wishes to Farmmom!

Farmmom of Blogorado fame is going in to have knee replacement surgery tomorrow morning. She's the sweetest, kindest, yet feistiest lady I know, so please send her your best thoughts, wishes, prayers.

Best of luck, Farmmom! Love you! :)

I'd think twice about parking here...

if I weren't a customer!

Photobucket

Note to self...

If the kitten decides to sit on my lap while I'm drinking my morning mug of (decaf!) tea, it behooves me to remove the motherfucking teabag. Otherwise kitten will think the dangling tag and string are a toy, and yank the motherfucking teabag OUT of the mug, splashing hot tea all over himself and MY LAP.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

"I just knew..."

It's 1974, a few weeks before high school graduation. She's a sophomore, fifteen years old.

She sees a boy she's never noticed before going into the band room, turns to her girlfriend and says matter-of-factly, "That's the boy I'm going to marry."

She doesn't even know his name.

After the high school graduation ceremony, which everyone in this small town attends, he comes over to her and asks, "When are you comin' to see me," and explains he's working as a lifeguard at the pool over the summer to help earn money for college. She demurs. She still doesn't know his name.

She waits until the end of June to go to the pool since she doesn't want to seem too eager. He immediately notices her sitting with her feet dangling in the water and on his next break heads over to her and asks, "What are you doin' tonight, besides going out with me?"

She replies, "Well, I guess I'll be going out with you!" And he finally introduces himself.

On their third date, he proposes and she accepts.

Their families are livid, hers especially. Neither of them have dated much at all, he's been focused on school and getting into college, he wants to be a doctor, and she just wasn't interested in dating. Until now.

When her father puts his foot down and forbids the marriage, she says simply, "Fine, then we'll just live together."

They're married nine days after her 16th birthday. In Oklahoma, you can't marry under the age of 16 unless you're pregnant, which she's not.

36 years later they are still married, still in love.

"He's my best friend," she tells me. They have two daughters, the oldest is an RN, the youngest a doctor, like her dad. Three beloved grandchildren.

When I ask her how she could have been so sure, she merely says, "I just knew. He says our souls recognized each other, and I think he's right."

Who am I to argue? I just wonder if my soulmate is still wandering around somewhere, wondering where the fuck I am and what's taking me so long.

Emo.

Heard this song in the car today, and I started to cry. *sigh*
Why am I so emo lately? I cry at the drop of a hat. I think everybody hates me (well, okay, ALMOST everybody), and I'm convinced I'll die old, alone, and lonely.

I hate feeling this way.

Monday, September 06, 2010

Happy Endings?

I think NOT!

I'm so in love with this ad, I want to have its babies!





H/T to Unix-Jedi, who never blogs anymore.

Overheard in the spa...

"From daisies to dead fish, I've smelled it all..."

One week, plus...

since I quit the caffeine, and I'm going strong. I feel MUCH better since I'm sleeping better. And I'm not totally mental anymore. Much. Or at least not more than usual. :D

There's no relief...

quite like getting pulled over for speeding on your way to work, getting a ticket, then realizing an hour later, as you look at your "ticket", that it's really only a warning.

*whew*

Dodged that bullet!

Thank you, S.Brown!

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Squeeee!

The spa is now open seven days a week!
I picked up the entire Monday shift (I'll be the only massage therapist on duty), and Thursday afternoons from 2-7PM. Here's hoping I get some clients!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The Kitties...

have discovered a FUN new game!

::TMI ALERT::TMI ALERT::TMI ALERT::TMI ALERT::TMI ALERT::

I use OB tampons. Hey, I grew up in Germany. They don't have tampons with applicators (or at least they didn't back in the 80's, who knows now?). Applicators scare me. They scare me so much so, in fact, that if I'm forced by emergency measures to use a tampon with applicator, I'll tear the applicator open and proceed as per usual with the tampon I find inside.

That being said, I have a small container that holds a multitude of said OB tampons in my bathroom. The bathroom that is the quarantine area for Bruiser, one of my kittens, who was neutered on Thursday and must remain sequestered until Monday in order for his stitches to heal. Imagine what a bored kitten can get up to in a bathroom. *shudder*

Now Pipsqueak, Bruiser's brother, is not pleased with this situation, neither is Bruiser, of course. They are used to being together and playing all day and all night, and have been spending hours at a time mewing piteously under the bathroom door at each other.

BUT WAIT...what are these intriguing cylindrical objects, wrapped in shiny plastic?!

TOYS!!! SHINY, BITE-SIZED TOYS FOR KITTENS!!!! MOM LOVES US!!!!!

Imagine my chagrin as I watched a tampon slowly roll underneath the bedroom door, across a couple feet of carpet, to fetch up against my foot. Yes, the incarcerated Bruiser was batting the tampons underneath the bathroom door into the hallway, where lonely, neglected Pipsqueak passed them on to me, whether I wanted them or not...

Demented kitties! At least they are using pristine, brand-new, never-been-used, still-in-their-original-wrapping tampons! Unlike my dogs...

*sigh*

Saturday, September 04, 2010

It's really wonderful...

to meet a dear friend in person for the first time, and have all your ridiculously high expectations not merely met, but completely exceeded!

Thursday night, Holly, her lovely husband, JPG, and I had the opportunity to meet Brigid IRL, and I was so excited and nervous, I almost went 'splodey! (Which would have been messy.)

Holly and JPG had had a restaurant recommended by a friend that they wanted to try out, so we headed to Del Frisco's Double Eagle Steakhouse, where we were treated to some really, REALLY excellent food (GO, MEAT!), which almost put us all into a food coma. The best part of the evening, though, was not the food, as excellent as it was, it was the company. Holly and JPG are always a delight, but the addition of the beautiful and sparkling Brigid to our intrepid trio was what made the evening extra special.

Good food, good drink, and good company. As far as I'm concerned, that's the trifecta of WIN. I hope we can all get together again really soon. :)

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

What...

is my subconscious trying to tell me?

I dreamed I was in microbiology lab, and that a tiny rattlesnake slithered in and bit me several times. Mostly in my foot (I was wearing my favorite, comfy sandals), but once in my calf.

The instructor and the other students didn't seem too concerned, they just told me to wrap my leg and foot up in gauze and elevate it. The class continued.

I think this has to do with the fact that we don't wear gloves in this lab, and that there's no hand washing station in the lab, either. I think that's a bit unsanitary, don't you?